We've ranked the best communication skills books using expert recommendations, sales data, and millions of reader ratings. At Shortform, we know books. Our book guides are the best in the world. Learn why.
You can go after the job you want—and get it! You can take the job you have—and improve it! You can take any situation—and make it work for you!
Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:
-Six ways to make people like you -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment
And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!
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Recommended by Dave Ramsey, Daymond John, Dustin Moskovitz, and 58 others.
Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High is a guide to hone your conversation skills, and prepare you for the most important or trying times of your life and career. The book discusses how talking in the right way can help people achieve what they want. People are often tongue-tied when it comes to interacting with someone, especially when there is a lot of tension in the air. Strong emotions often give away the ability to rationalise one's thoughts, especially during conversations, and emotionally-driven conversations will not work on important occasions. This book teaches readers how to tackle such situations with ease. It provides tips on how to be persuasive, and turn a conversation to one's advantage. The book helps in dealing with confrontations at home, at work, and even with friends. These skills can positively impact the lives of the book's readers in all spheres, and direct their thoughts in a constructive manner. Some of the sections from the book are, How to Notice When Safety Is at Risk, How to Speak Persuasively Not Abrasively, How to Turn Crucial Conversations, and How to Stay Focused on What You Really Want.Kerry Patterson, the co-founder of VitalSmarts, has authored four bestsellers. Some of his other books are Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success, and Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior. Joseph Grenny works as a consultant for many Fortune 500 companies and has impacted many lives throughout the globe through his corporate change initiatives. He is the co-founder of VitalSmarts, and a popular speaker too. Al Switzler is the author of four New York Times bestsellers and has designed and framed many programs for Fortune 500 companies. Ron McMillan has worked as a leadership consultant and trained many people, from first level managers to CEOs.
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Recommended by Max Levchin and Deke Bridges.
Max Levchin
Co-founder/PayPal, CEO/Affirm, Investor
A now-venerable guide to having tough conversations in a way that engages the debaters. [source]
Deke Bridges
Picked up this great book @Powells to read. Better conversation and listening enables you to get deeper into subjects at hand. When talking with people, this makes your communication skills a very powerful tool. Always be learning. #growth #education #leadership https://t.co/r0ujX9IPqh [source]
Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say "yes"—and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.
You'll learn the six universal principles, how to use them to become a skilled persuader—and how to defend yourself against them. Perfect for people in all walks of life, the principles of Influence will move you toward profound personal change and act as a driving force for your success.
The latest edition of the communication guide that has sold more than 1,000,000 copies
An enlightening look at how peaceful communication can create compassionate connections with family, friends, and other acquaintances, this international bestseller uses stories, examples, and sample dialogues to provide solutions to communication problems both at home and in the workplace. Guidance is provided on identifying and articulating feelings and needs, expressing anger fully, and exploring the power of empathy in order to speak honestly without creating hostility, break patterns of thinking that lead to anger and depression, and communicate compassionately. Included in the new edition is a chapter on conflict resolution and mediation.
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Recommended by Dustin Moskovitz, Satya Nadella, Chad Dickerson, and 3 others.
Upon becoming CEO, Nadella confronted Microsoft’s legendarily combative culture by urging his new reports to read this book, which preaches the power of empathy, self-awareness, and authenticity in collaboration in the workplace, at home, and beyond. Like many of his favorites, it was first recommended to him by his wife, Anu: “I’m heavily influenced by the books she reads more than the books I read [source]
Chad Dickerson
Rosenberg’s book Nonviolent Communication is a life-changing text. Reading just now & his concept of “life-alienating communication” basically describes the worst of twitter. Love this, though: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing & right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” https://t.co/9f9gK6pVSE [source]
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues to succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counter-intuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.
Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car; negotiating a salary; buying a home; renegotiating rent; deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power. From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading. But it’s also eminently practical. In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want. [source]
This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home. [source]
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Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - The instant classic about why some ideas thrive, why others die, and how to improve your idea's chances--essential reading in the "fake news" era.
Mark Twain once observed, "A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can even get its boots on." His observation rings true: Urban legends, conspiracy theories, and bogus news stories circulate effortlessly. Meanwhile, people with important ideas--entrepreneurs, teachers, politicians, and journalists--struggle to make them "stick."
In Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath reveal the anatomy of ideas that stick and explain ways to make ideas stickier, such as applying the human scale principle, using the Velcro Theory of Memory, and creating curiosity gaps. Along the way, we discover that sticky messages of all kinds--from the infamous "kidney theft ring" hoax to a coach's lessons on sportsmanship to a vision for a new product at Sony--draw their power from the same six traits.
Made to Stick will transform the way you communicate. It's a fast-paced tour of success stories (and failures): the Nobel Prize-winning scientist who drank a glass of bacteria to prove a point about stomach ulcers; the charities who make use of the Mother Teresa Effect; the elementary-school teacher whose simulation actually prevented racial prejudice.
Provocative, eye-opening, and often surprisingly funny, Made to Stick shows us the vital principles of winning ideas--and tells us how we can apply these rules to making our own messages stick.
@conorgil My all-time favorite example of research communication is The Selfish Gene. Astonishingly effective at explaining deep research ideas/findings to a lay reader. A book with great advice: https://t.co/QD1sM2o0z6 (It isn't specific to research but still super valuable.) [source]
Bill Liao
The Book "Made to Stick" combined with "The Poetics" by Aristotle really helped me to see the power of telling great stories with surprises in them and every time I meet a start-up I can always make a contribution to their pitch. [source]
Cristian-Dragos Baciu
I highly recommend all the books written by the Heath brothers, especially Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive And Others Die. This one's a must-read for marketers. The reason I enjoyed their work so much is because they offer real-life stories and insights that makes it so much easier for the reader to imprint that information in his mind [source]
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Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in
The key text on problem-solving negotiation-updated and revised
Getting to Yes has helped millions of people learn a better way to negotiate. One of the primary business texts of the modern era, it is based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, a group that deals with all levels of negotiation and conflict resolution.
Getting to Yes offers a proven, step-by-step strategy for coming to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort of conflict. Thoroughly updated and revised, it offers readers a straight- forward, universally applicable method for negotiating personal and professional disputes without getting angry-or getting taken.
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Recommended by Charles T. Munger, Drew Houston, Dustin Moskovitz, and 8 others.
Couples who understand each other's love language hold a priceless advantage in the quest for love that lasts a lifetime -- they know how to effectively and consistently make each other feel truly and deeply loved. That gift never fades away.
Recommended by Dustin Moskovitz, James Altucher, Kaci Lambe Kai, and 1 others.
Dustin Moskovitz
Co-founder/Facebook and Asana
Dustin Moskovitz recommended this book on Twitter. [source]
Kaci Lambe Kai
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman impacted how I interpret and receive love. Not just romantically, but in my friendships and business relationships. I had several personal and professional relationships that improved when I could appreciate that their "love language" was different than mine. I could at least see their efforts as an attempt at showing me love and kindness, even if it wasn't how I best receive or give love. This is pivotal. And if you can separate out the idea of it being for romantic partners only, I'd say this is critical reading for leaders. Not everyone is motivated and feels appreciation by a raise. Sometimes, public recognition of kind words or an act of kindness will feel better than anything else you can do. [source]
Pedro Cortés
The books that had the biggest impact are the ones that are controversial and challenge people's beliefs around work, relationships, life, and money most of them were things I already thought about (that's how I found them or decided to read them) but just by putting it in an actionable and structured way it made me think 100x more clearly about my goals and beliefs. Such examples could be the 4hww, Rich Dad Poor Dad, F.U. Money, The Five Love Languages, So good they can't ignore, Predictably Irrational and Ego is the Enemy are the ones who stand out the most. [source]
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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"
We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversationsprovides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:
? Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation ? Start a conversation without defensiveness ? Listen for the meaning of what is not said ? Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations ? Move from emotion to productive problem solving
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Recommended by April Wensel, Auren Hoffman, Bogdan Lucaciu, and 1 others.
April Wensel
@amyvpellegrini I really liked a book called Difficult Conversations. I also love the book Nonviolent Communication for conflicts. [source]
I’m re-reading “Difficult Conversations”. It’s written by the “Harvard Negotiation Project” guys that also wrote “Getting to Yes” and “Thanks for the Feedback”. It allowed me to navigate super important conversations by shifting from a “who’s right” stance to a learning stance. Giving it another spin after two years from the first read as I'm working on my assertiveness. [source]
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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
When Stephen Covey first released The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the book became an instant rage because people suddenly got up and took notice that their lives were headed off in the wrong direction; and more than that, they realized that there were so many simple things they could do in order to navigate their life correctly. This book was wonderful education for people, education in how to live life effectively and get closer to the ideal of being a ‘success’ in life.
But not everyone understands Stephen Covey’s model fully well, or maybe there are some people who haven’t read it yet. This is definitely true because we still see so much failure all around us. Now, I am not saying that by using Covey’s model, or anyone else’s model for that matter, you can become a sure-shot success, but at least we should have seen many more successes around us already judging by the number of copies the book has sold! So, where is the shortcoming?
There are two main problems here, and we are talking only about the people who have read the book already. The first problem is that most people are too lazy to implement the ideals of Stephen Covey in their lives. They consider his masterpiece of a book as a mere coffee-table book or a book that you use for light reading when you are traveling and then forget all about it. They do not realize that this book contains life-changing information. Or, they take the information and do not make the effort to actually utilize it so that it becomes knowledge for them.
The second problem is that a lot of people have a myopic view of Covey’s ideals. These are people who are impressed by the book already. If you ask them what the seven habits are, they can rattle them off end to end, but then they miss the larger picture. They do not understand that Covey was trying to tell more than he wrote in words. There are hidden implications in this book, yes, and a lot of people have just failed to see through them.
That is what we are trying to do. We are trying to show you how Covey’s book, or rather, his model, was a complete model in itself. There was nothing amiss about it. If you implement it, there should be no aspect of your life that should go untouched. The only thing is that you have to understand these ideals and try to implement them in your life.
But, before we barge into that area, it is extremely important to understand what these ideals are. What was the model that was propounded by Stephen Covey in his mega-famous book? We shall begin by trying to understand his model first, and then interpret it in such a way that it pertains to every aspect of our life
Dave Ramsey recommended this book on his website. [source]
Dustin Moskovitz
Co-founder/Facebook and Asana
I was surprised at how familiar the topics felt. [source]
Joe Martin
@benmorris @audible_com @Gladwell I enjoy the quiet on the way home, but on the way to work I am listening to the 7 habits book by Stephen Coveru, a fave of mine [source]
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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.
In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves.
Now with Extra Libris material, including a reader’s guide and bonus content.
Leaders needn’t be the loudest. Leadership is not about theater. It’s not about dominance. It is about putting the lives of others before any other priority. In Quiet, Cain affirms to a good many of us who are introverts by nature that we needn’t try to be extroverts if we want to lead. Simply being ourselves is more important — and more effective. [source]
Danielle Morrill
Co-founder/Mattermark
Anyway, maybe you’re like me and figuring this out for yourself. It’s a good book for introverts and for those who love them [source]
Probably half the world is introverts. Maybe more. It’s not an easy life to live. I sometimes have that feeling in a room full of people, “uh-oh. I just shut down. I can’t talk anymore and there’s a lock on my mouth and this crowd threw away the key.” Do you ever get that feeling? Please? I hope you do. Let’s try to lock eyes at the party. “Quiet” shows the reader how to unlock the secret powers that probably half the world needs to unlock. [source]
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The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire. Just as a single sick person can start an epidemic of the flu, so too can a small but precisely targeted push cause a fashion trend, the popularity of a new product, or a drop in the crime rate. This widely acclaimed bestseller, in which Malcolm Gladwell explores and brilliantly illuminates the tipping point phenomenon, is already changing the way people throughout the world think about selling products and disseminating ideas.
Gladwell introduces us to the particular personality types who are natural pollinators of new ideas and trends, the people who create the phenomenon of word of mouth. He analyzes fashion trends, smoking, children's television, direct mail, and the early days of the American Revolution for clues about making ideas infectious, and visits a religious commune, a successful high-tech company, and one of the world's greatest salesmen to show how to start and sustain social epidemics.
Bunch of really good information in here on how to make ideas go viral. This could be good to apply to any kind of products or ideas you may have. Definitely, check out The Tipping Point, which is one of my favorites. [source]
Malcolm Gladwell's breakthrough insight was to focus on the micro-relationships between individuals, which helped organizations realize that it's not about the big ads and the huge charity balls... it's about setting the stage for the buzz to start. [source]
Andy Stern
I think that when we talk about making change, it is much more about macro change, like in policy. This book reminds you that at times when you're building big movements, or trying to elect significant decision-makers in politics, sometimes it's the little things that make a difference. Ever since the book was written, we've become very used to the idea of things going viral unexpectedly and then having massive impact. The Tipping Point, to me, is really an appreciation that very small things can rearrange thinking in ways – like infectious diseases – that have huge implications. While we're always searching for the big policy changes – and we think we have to do that in very traditional ways of building coalitions against constituencies, movements and the media – sometimes it's the little things that actually tip the situation. Like the story of a person and their unique set of circumstances that really captures an issue about health care or housing. So it's trying to remember, while you're thinking about the grand and the glorious, that thinking about the small things can equally bring about change. [source]
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Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
Everyone knows that high IQ is no guarantee of success, happiness, or virtue, but until Emotional Intelligence, we could only guess why. Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our "two minds"—the rational and the emotional—and how they together shape our destiny.
Through vivid examples, Goleman delineates the five crucial skills of emotional intelligence, and shows how they determine our success in relationships, work, and even our physical well-being. What emerges is an entirely new way to talk about being smart.
The best news is that "emotional literacy" is not fixed early in life. Every parent, every teacher, every business leader, and everyone interested in a more civil society, has a stake in this compelling vision of human possibility.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Recommended by Drew Houston, Drew Huston, Magda Marcu, and 4 others.
Drew Houston
CEO/Dropbox
It’s nonfiction, but it spelled out something that I just didn’t know you could kind of break down in a logical way. And, suddenly, I had this understanding about the world that I didn’t have before. [source]
Magda Marcu
One of the most eye opening for me was “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” as it offered a different perspective on leadership, and how empathy can make you a more successful leader. Every person has some degree of empathy and through this book you understand how to apply it more intently. [source]
Robert Kelsey
Yes, that’s the key revelation. But another key element, which was quite revelatory for me when I read it, is about the impact of fear on your brain. The impact of fear as a physiological response was well known when he wrote the book, but what was less well known was the idea of fear as a neurological response. He pointed to research showing what happens to the brain when fear is triggered, and it’s very damaging. There’s a part of the brain called the amygdala, which is part of the limbic system, and deals with emotions such as fear and distress. Its main purpose is to alert you to danger and it sends an emergency signal. All those physiological responses you have are basically the body’s response to that emergency signal. That’s what people experience when they experience fear, but it’s not just the fear of a dog barking at you or someone attacking you, it’s fear based on a fear conditioning. These are moments when something happens to you that induces fear or distress, and can include fear of failure or fear of being upset, and the same response occurs. [source]
Major New York Times bestseller Winner of the National Academy of Sciences Best Book Award in 2012 Selected by the New York Times Book Review as one of the best books of 2011 A Globe and Mail Best Books of the Year 2011 Title One of The Economist's 2011 Books of the Year One of The Wall Street Journal's Best Nonfiction Books of the Year 2011 2013 Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient
In the international bestseller, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, the renowned psychologist and winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics, takes us on a groundbreaking tour of the mind and explains the two systems that drive the way we think. System 1 is fast, intuitive, and emotional; System 2 is slower, more deliberative, and more logical. The impact of overconfidence on corporate strategies, the difficulties of predicting what will make us happy in the future, the profound effect of cognitive biases on everything from playing the stock market to planning our next vacation—each of these can be understood only by knowing how the two systems shape our judgments and decisions. Engaging the reader in a lively conversation about how we think, Kahneman reveals where we can and cannot trust our intuitions and how we can tap into the benefits of slow thinking. He offers practical and enlightening insights into how choices are made in both our business and our personal lives—and how we can use different techniques to guard against the mental glitches that often get us into trouble. Winner of the National Academy of Sciences Best Book Award and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize and selected by The New York Times Book Review as one of the ten best books of 2011, Thinking, Fast and Slow is destined to be a classic.
A few months ago, Mr. Obama read “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” by Daniel Kahneman, about how people make decisions — quick, instinctive thinking versus slower, contemplative deliberation. For Mr. Obama, a deliberator in an instinctive business, this may be as instructive as any political science text. [source]
Captivating dive into human decision making, marred by inclusion of several/many? psychology studies that fail to replicate. Will stand as a cautionary tale? [source]
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How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills." -- Larry King
"The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes." -- Harvey McKay, author of "How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive"
What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?"
What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people.
The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques-- she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you'll find:
9 ways to make a dynamite first impression 14 ways to master small talk, "big talk," and body language 14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity 6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd 7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone 9 ways to feed someone's ego (and know when NOT to!) 11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool 15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room 7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten alive In her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you'll remember them when you really need them, including: "Rubberneck the Room," "Be a Copyclass," "Come Hither Hands," "Bare Their Hot Button," "The Great Scorecard in the Sky," and "Play the Tombstone Game," for big success in your social life, romance, and business.
How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!
By the way, don't confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil's previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!
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Recommended by Derek Sivers, Nicolas Jouvenceau, and Sarissa Rodriguez-Schwartz.
Wonderful considerate book about conversational people skills. [source]
Nicolas Jouvenceau
In my career I spend a great chunk of time dealing with clients and people in general. Our environment today is different from what it was before, we spend a lot of time communicating via electronics that we actually lost some great deal of knowledge in human communication, things that we don’t really learn at school (we actually should), but which I believe are essential to communicating with our peers. Leil did a great job in that book to explain simply those tricks of communication, some of which I am sure lots of people will think trivial and already do, but many that we probably don’t realize we can use. [source]
Sarissa Rodriguez-Schwartz
That book is a great tool for networking and connecting with others. One of the most important tools I remember is to always speak to others about their jobs in the job "lingo" otherwise you come off as disrespectful and ignorant, immediately turning them off. … How to Talk to Anyone helped me change the way I see other people's careers, motives, and how to connect with that. I always say your net worth is your network. It's important to be able to connect with the people you meet, make them like you (if you like them, of course), and create meaningful relationships. [source]
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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help readers turn the “impossible” and “unreachable” people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends. Just Listen does this by providing simple but powerful techniques readers can use to really get through to people. You’ll learn how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. With this groundbreaking book, readers will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.
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Recommended by Bill Liao.
Bill Liao
The human world occurs in language so best get good at it! [source]
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Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know
Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Outliers, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers -- and why they often go wrong.
How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true?
While tackling these questions, Malcolm Gladwell was not solely writing a book for the page. He was also producing for the ear. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you'll hear the voices of people he interviewed--scientists, criminologists, military psychologists. Court transcripts are brought to life with re-enactments. You actually hear the contentious arrest of Sandra Bland by the side of the road in Texas. As Gladwell revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, and the suicide of Sylvia Plath, you hear directly from many of the players in these real-life tragedies. There's even a theme song - Janelle Monae's "Hell You Talmbout."
Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.
I'll put here what I emailed Malcolm when I finished the book: "Just finished your new book in one sitting yesterday. So good. You are at the height of your powers and remain an inspiration to all of us trying to master an un-masterable profession." It's a little less practical or self-improvement oriented than his previous books, but far more thought provoking. [source]
Nilofer Merchant
An interesting analysis/ essay re Gladwell’s latest book —> https://t.co/5Ey1maNRyI [source]
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Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action
Why are some people and organizations more innovative, more influential, and more profitable than others? Why do some command greater loyalty from customers and employees alike? Even among the successful, why are so few able to repeat their success over and over?
People like Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs, and the Wright Brothers might have little in common, but they all started with why. It was their natural ability to start with why that enabled them to inspire those around them and to achieve remarkable things.
In studying the leaders who've had the greatest influence in the world, Simon Sinek discovered that they all think, act, and communicate in the exact same way—and it's the complete opposite of what everyone else does. Sinek calls this powerful idea The Golden Circle, and it provides a framework upon which organizations can be built, movements can be lead, and people can be inspired. And it all starts with WHY.
Any organization can explain what it does; some can explain how they do it; but very few can clearly articulate why. WHY is not money or profit—those are always results. WHY does your organization exist? WHY does it do the things it does? WHY do customers really buy from one company or another? WHY are people loyal to some leaders, but not others?
Starting with WHY works in big business and small business, in the nonprofit world and in politics. Those who start with WHY never manipulate, they inspire. And the people who follow them don't do so because they have to; they follow because they want to.
Drawing on a wide range of real-life stories, Sinek weaves together a clear vision of what it truly takes to lead and inspire. This book is for anyone who wants to inspire others or who wants to find someone to inspire them.
Today is World Book Day, a wonderful opportunity to address this #ChallengeRichard sent in by Mike Gonzalez of New Jersey: Make a list of your top 65 books to read in a lifetime. [source]
The basis of this book is so important to anyone looking to increase their influence, profits or impact. People won't truly buy into a product, service, movement, or idea until they understand the WHY behind it. When you start with the why, everything else falls into place. This book is so impactful, I consider it required reading. [source]
Tony Hsieh
CEO/Zappos.com
Over the years he’s recommended well over 20 business books — including his own, the 2010 bestseller Delivering Happiness and you can always find what he’s currently reading atop his cluttered desk. Start with Why is amogst those titles. [source]
This amoral, cunning, ruthless, and instructive book synthesizes the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Carl Von Clausewitz with the historical legacies of statesmen, warriors, seducers, and con men throughout the ages.
These are the books I recommend people to listen to on @applebooks. [source]
Marvin Liao
Partner/500 Startups
My list would be (besides the ones I mentioned in answer to the previous question) both business & Fiction/Sci-Fi and ones I personally found helpful to myself. The business books explain just exactly how business, work & investing are in reality & how to think properly & differentiate yourself. On the non-business side, a mix of History & classic fiction to understand people, philosophy to make sense of life and Science fiction to picture what the future could be like (not always utopian). [source]
There is no living writer (or person) who has been more influential to me than Robert Greene. I met him when I was 19 years old and he’s shaped me as a person, as a writer, as a thinker. You MUST read his books. His work on power and strategy are critical for anyone trying to accomplish anything. In life, power is force we are constantly bumping up against. People have power of over us, we seek power ourselves that we might be free enough and influential enough to accomplish our goals—so we must understand where power comes from, how it works and how to get it. But pure power is meaningless. It must be joined to mastery and purpose. So read his book Mastery so that you can figure your life’s task and how to dedicate yourself to it. [source]
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20
What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
Read this book and send your nonverbal intelligence soaring. Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior, explains how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviors. You'll also learn how your body language can influence what your boss, family, friends, and strangers think of you. You will discover:
The ancient survival instincts that drive body language Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person's true feelings What thumbs, feet, and eyelids reveal about moods and motives The most powerful behaviors that reveal our confidence and true sentiments Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust Simple nonverbals that instantly communicate authority Filled with examples from Navarro's professional experience, this definitive book offers a powerful new way to navigate your world.
On Writing Well has been praised for its sound advice, its clarity and the warmth of its style. It is a book for everybody who wants to learn how to write or who needs to do some writing to get through the day, as almost everybody does in the age of e-mail and the Internet. Whether you want to write about people or places, science and technology, business, sports, the arts or about yourself in the increasingly popular memoir genre, On Writing Well offers you fundamental priciples as well as the insights of a distinguished writer and teacher. With more than a million copies sold, this volume has stood the test of time and remains a valuable resource for writers and would-be writers.
I read a bunch of books on writing before I wrote my first book and the two that stuck with me were Stephen King’s book and “On Writing Well” by Zinsser (which is a bit on the technical side). [source]
Tim O'Reilly
Founder/O'Reilly Media
On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. I wouldn't say this book influenced me, since my principles of writing were established long before I read it. However, it does capture many things that I believe about effective writing. [source]
Give and Take highlights what effective networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills have in common.
For generations, we have focused on the individual drivers of success: passion, hard work, talent, and luck. But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others. It turns out that at work, most people operate as either takers, matchers, or givers. Whereas takers strive to get as much as possible from others and matchers aim to trade evenly, givers are the rare breed of people who contribute to others without expecting anything in return.
Using his own pioneering research as Wharton's youngest tenured professor, Grant shows that these styles have a surprising impact on success. Although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries. Combining cutting-edge evidence with captivating stories, this landmark book shows how one of America's best networkers developed his connections, why the creative genius behind one of the most popular shows in television history toiled for years in anonymity, how a basketball executive responsible for multiple draft busts transformed his franchise into a winner, and how we could have anticipated Enron's demise four years before the company collapsed - without ever looking at a single number.
Praised by bestselling authors such as Dan Pink, Tony Hsieh, Dan Ariely, Susan Cain, Dan Gilbert, Gretchen Rubin, Bob Sutton, David Allen, Robert Cialdini, and Seth Godin-as well as senior leaders from Google, McKinsey, Merck, Estee Lauder, Nike, and NASA - Give and Take highlights what effective networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills have in common. This landmark book opens up an approach to success that has the power to transform not just individuals and groups, but entire organizations and communities.
In Ted Talks Chris Anderson, head of TED, reveals the inside secrets of how to give a first-class presentation. Where books like Talk Like TED and TED Talks Storytelling whetted the appetite, here is the official TED guide to public speaking from the man who put TED talks on the world's stage. 'Nobody in the world better understands the art and science of public speaking than Chris Anderson. He is absolutely the best person to have written this book' Elizabeth Gilbert.
Anderson shares his five key techniques to presentation success: Connection, Narration, Explanation, Persuasion and Revelation (plus the three to avoid). He also answers the most frequently asked questions about giving a talk, from 'What should I wear?' to 'How do I handle my nerves?'.
Ted Talks is also full of presentation tips from such TED notable speakers as Sir Ken Robinson, Bill Gates, Mary Roach, Amy Cuddy, Elizabeth Gilbert, Dan Gilbert, Amanda Palmer, Matt Ridley and many more. This is a lively, fun read with great practical application from the man who knows what goes into a truly memorable speech. In Ted Talks Anderson pulls back the TED curtain for anyone who wants to learn how to prepare an exceptional presentation.
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Recommended by Chris Anderson, Chris Anderson, Chris Anderson, and 1 others.
Chris Anderson
In Apollo week, a great book recommendation: this more than a story of a computer--it's about the first shot in the man vs machine battles (should astronauts be pilots or "spam in a can"?) that foreshadowed today's debates about drones & self driving cars https://t.co/CidYughKHz [source]
Chris Anderson
In Apollo week, a great book recommendation: this more than a story of a computer--it's about the first shot in the man vs machine battles (should astronauts be pilots or "spam in a can"?) that foreshadowed today's debates about drones & self driving cars https://t.co/CidYughKHz [source]
Chris Anderson
In Apollo week, a great book recommendation: this more than a story of a computer--it's about the first shot in the man vs machine battles (should astronauts be pilots or "spam in a can"?) that foreshadowed today's debates about drones & self driving cars https://t.co/CidYughKHz [source]
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24
Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds
Ideas are the currency of the twenty-first century. In order to succeed, you need to be able to sell your ideas persuasively. This ability is the single greatest skill that will help you accomplish your dreams. Many people have a fear of public speaking or are insecure about their ability to give a successful presentation. Now public speaking coach and bestselling author Carmine Gallo explores what makes a great presentation by examining the widely acclaimed TED Talks, which have redefined the elements of a successful presentation and become the gold standard for public speaking. TED ? which stands for technology, entertainment, and design ? brings together the world's leading thinkers. These are the presentations that set the world on fire, and the techniques that top TED speakers use will make any presentation more dynamic, fire up any team, and give anyone the confidence to overcome their fear of public speaking.
In his book, Carmine Gallo has broken down hundreds of TED talks and interviewed the most popular TED presenters, as well as the top researchers in the fields of psychology, communications, and neuroscience to reveal the nine secrets of all successful TED presentations. Gallo's step-by-step method makes it possible for anyone to deliver a presentation that is engaging, persuasive, and memorable.
Carmine Gallo's top 10 Wall Street Journal Bestseller Talk Like TED will give anyone who is insecure about their public speaking abilities the tools to communicate the ideas that matter most to them, the skill to win over hearts and minds, and the confidence to deliver the talk of their lives.
The opinions expressed by Carmine Gallo in TALK LIKE TED are his own. His book is not endorsed, sponsored or authorized by TED Conferences, LLC or its affiliates.
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Recommended by Emma Wedekind, Radu Marcusu, and Shaen Yeo.
A book that most recently made a difference for me was Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds. My IMWorld speech this year benefited tremendously from Carmine Gallo's framing of the nine secrets of all time successful TED presentations. I believe Gallo's step-by-step method makes it possible for anyone to sell their ideas persuasively when delivering a presentation. … Talk like TED is NOT an optional book whatever career path you want to follow. A person can have the best idea in the World, but if that person can not convince enough people, it doesn’t matter. I’ve seen too many good ideas dim due to lack of pitching skills. This book will help you raise your game when it comes to selling your ideas. [source]
Shaen Yeo
In the book Talk like TED, there were a few suggestions on how to make my speech better. I tweaked the way I speak using the advice, and produced a speech like never before. I had many people coming up to shake my hands and offer me name cards! [source]
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25
The Elements of Style
William Jr. Strunk
4.3
You know the authors' names. You recognize the title. You've probably used this book yourself. And now "The Elements of Style"-the most widely read and employed English style manual-is available in a specially bound 50th Anniversary Edition that offers the title's vast audience an opportunity to own a more durable and elegantly bound edition of this time-tested classic. Offering the same content as the Fourth Edition, revised in 1999, the new casebound 50th Anniversary Edition includes a brief overview of the book's illustrious history. Used extensively by individual writers as well as high school and college students of writing, it has conveyed the principles of English style to millions of readers. This new deluxe edition makes the perfect gift for writers of any age and ability level. Fifty Years of Acclaim for "The Elements of Style," by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White "I first read "Elements of Style" during the summer before I went off to Exeter, and I still direct my students at Harvard to their definition about the difference between 'that' and 'which.' It is the Bible for good, clear writing." -- Henry Louis Gates Jr. "For writers of all kinds and sizes the world begins and ends with Strunk and White's "Elements of Style." Only something to actually write about trumps the list of what is required to put words together in some kind of coherent way. I treasure its presence in my life and salute its fifty years of glory and accomplishment." -- Jim Lehrer ""The Elements of Style" remains an unwavering beacon of light in these grammatically troubled times. I would be lost without it." -- Ann Patchett "To the extent I know how to write clearly at all, I probably taught myself while I was teaching others -- seventh graders, in Flint, Michigan, in 1967. I taught them with a copy of Strunk & White lying in full view on my desk, sort of in the way the Gideons leave Bibles in cheap hotel rooms, as a way of saying to the hapless inhabitant: 'In case your reckless ways should strand you here, there's help.' S&W doesn't really teach you how to write, it just tantalizingly reminds you that there's an orderly way to go about it, that clarity's ever your ideal, but -- really -- it's all going to be up to you." -- Richard Ford ""The Elements of Style" never seems to go out of date. Its counsel is sound and funny, wise and unpretentious. And while its precepts are a foundation of direct communication, Strunk and White do not insist on a way of writing beyond clear expression. The rest is up to the imagination, the intelligence within." -- David Remnick, editor of "The New Yorker" "It's the toughness-the irreverence and implicit laughter-that attracted me to the little book when I was seventeen. I fell in love with Strunk & White's loathing for cant and bloviation, the ruthless cutting of crap, jargon, and extra words. For me, that skeptical directness included a tacit permission by "The Elements of Style" to break its rules on occasion: an alloy of generosity in the blade, a grace I still admire and still learn from." -- Robert Pinsky "In the quest for clarity, one can have no better guides than Strunk and White. For me, their book has been invaluable and remains essential." -- Dan Rather "Eschew surplusage! A perfect book." --Jonathan Lethem "Not until I started teaching writing and I reread "The Elements of Style" did I realize that most everything I would be teaching young writers, and everything I would be learning myself as a writer, was contained between the covers of this slim, elegant, wise little book." -- Julia Alvarez "Strunk and White seared their way into my brain long ago, and I benefit from them daily." -- Steven J. Dubner, co-author of "Freakonomics" "Since high school, I have kept a copy of this book handy. That should be unnecessary. I should, by now, have fully internalized "The Elements of Style." But sometimes I get entangled in a paragraph that refuses to be 'clear, brief, bold.' I dip back into "The Elements of Style" and am refreshed. After Scott Simon interviewed me on NPR about whether the word 'e-mail' needs a hyphen (yes, it does), some listeners, including friends of mine, wondered why I had answered in the affirmative when asked, in passing, 'Are you a drunken white man?' Those listeners misheard. 'Strunk and White man' was what Scott said." -- Roy Blount Jr. "Strunk & White--writing's good-natured law firm--still contains enough sparkling good sense to clean up the whole bloviating blogosphere." -- Thomas Mallon "I used Strunk -- that's what we called it, Strunk -- as a student at Berkeley fifty years ago. I didn't know that it was new, and that we were the first generation to be educated in "The Elements of Style." I got a firm foundation in the English language, learned to write basically, and could depict the realistic world. Then I was able to become an impressionist and expressionist." -- Maxine Hong Kingston "Strunk and White's gigantic little book must be the most readable advice on writing ever written. Side by side with Roget, Shakespeare, the Bible, and a dictionary, it's an essential for every writer's shelf." -- X.J. Kennedy" ""With what joy I welcome the fiftieth anniversary of "The Elements of Style." I am greatly indebted to this book for the invaluable help it has given me all these years." -- Horton Foote "Elegant, droll, and perfectly proportioned, and like your favorite aunt, strict but affectionate. And, like your favorite aunt, full of optimism: You can, and will, be a better writer! There has never been a better, briefer, or more loved book about the art and craft of communicating." -- Susan Orlean "This book is an essential tool. It has been of great use to me and is probably responsible for my best writing. I owe my success to Strunk and White; only the mistakes are mine." -- Ben Affleck, in "O, the Oprah Magazine" "This book is a wonderful example of teaching by example. Not only does it recommend clear and concise writing, it demonstrates it. Written in the style of a friend offering help, it is a godsend to anyone wanting to put words on paper. Thank you, Messieurs Strunk and White. And Happy Anniversary, "Elements of Style."" -- S.E. Hinton "When I began to have ... I wouldn't say arguments but conversations in my mind with Strunk and White about a few of their rules and principles, I knew I was coming into my own. If only they were still here to talk things over! No doubt their side of the exchange would be kindly put, well-informed, and wise. They'd probably help me with my side of it. What more could one want from writers reaching out to help other writers?" -- Barbara Wallraff, language columnist for "The Atlantic" "I don't believe there is a serious writer alive who doesn't have a worn copy of 'Strunk & White'on his or her bookshelf." -- Mignon Fogarty, author of "Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips ""for Better Writing" "This little book has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to write better -- partly by precept and partly by example. It continues to influence more writers than any other. It's a force for good in the world." -- Bryan A. Garner, author of "Garner's Modern American Usage" "I can think of no better guide to good writing, and I always think of this little classic with a warm heart. More importantly, I revisit its pages often. It's the one essential book on writing." -- Jay Parini, author of "Why Poetry Matters" "Clarity and simplicity have always been the goals, and this book shows the way. It has always been a lighthouse in the dark and stormy night of student prose, of all of our prose." -- Ron Carlson "The only rules you are ever going to get from me are all in Strunk and White." --Ursula K. Le Guin, from "Steering the Craft " "["The Elements of Style "is] a book to which I return from time to time, the way I periodically reread Shakespeare. I always discover something new, settle a question that has been puzzling me, or learn a principle of usage that I have been pretending to know, a pretense that has resulted in inconsistency and in the sort of errors from which I can only pray some saintly copy editor will save me." -- Francine Prose, from "Reading"" Like A Writer" ..".still a little book, small enough and important enough to carry in your pocket, as I carry mine." -- Charles Osgood "Almost every writer has a Strunk and White story. One journalism professor spends the first two weeks of school forcing his students to memorize the book. A top editor at a major paper buys copies at yard sales to distribute to her writers and interns. It has even caused love affairs. . . . Could its greatness be any more clear?" -- Jesse Sheidlower, American Editor of the "Oxford"" English Dictionary," on NPR" ""If the English language is one of the finest homes ever devised for the human spirit, "Elements" is the best guided house tour we've got." --David Gelernter, "The Wall Street Journal" ..".Should be the daily companion of anyone who writes for a living and, for that matter, anyone who writes at all." "--"Jonathan Yardley, " Greensboro (N.C.) Daily News" "No book in shorter space, with fewer words, will help any writer more than this persistent little volume." -- Herbert A. Kenny, "The Boston Globe" "Buy it, study it, enjoy it. It's as timeless as a book can be in our age of volubility." -- Charles Poore, "The New York Times" "White is one of the best stylists and most lucid minds in this country. What he says and his way of saying it are equally rewarding." "-- "Edmund Fuller, "The Wall Street Journal ""If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of "The Elements of Style." The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy." -- Dorothy Parker, "Esquire"
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Recommended by Tobi Lütke, Alina Varlanuta, Ann Handley, and 3 others.
Tobi Lütke
Founder & CEO/Shopify
My most frequently gifted book is this book because I like good writing. [source]
Alina Varlanuta
My professional path – copywriting – somehow intertwines with my unprofessional (hahaha) path – writing so I would recommend reading literature for both. Somehow reading and writing are two ways of doing the same thing: storytelling (even when you read you tell yourself a story in your own voice, bringing your personal emotion and empathy to the story you’re reading). The only difference is that when I’m reading, panic is far away from me, in a safe place. Nevertheless, the words below helped me rewrite and think twice before adding an exclamation point: The Elements of Style. [source]
Bill Nye
This is my guide. I accept that I’ll never write anything as good as the introductory essay by the author. It’s brilliant. [source]
Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.
Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!
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27
Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
Television has conditioned us to tolerate visually entertaining material measured out in spoonfuls of time, to the detriment of rational public discourse and reasoned public affairs. In this eloquent, persuasive book, Neil Postman alerts us to the real and present dangers of this state of affairs, and offers compelling suggestions as to how to withstand the media onslaught. Before we hand over politics, education, religion, and journalism to the show business demands of the television age, we must recognize the ways in which the media shape our lives and the ways we can, in turn, shape them to serve out highest goals.
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Recommended by Austin Kleon, Kara Nortman, Stephen Kinsella, and 3 others.
Earlier this year Postman’s son Andrew wrote an op-ed with the title, “My dad predicted Trump in 1985 — it’s not Orwell, he warned, it’s Brave New World.” Postman wrote: “What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.” [source]
Kara Nortman
@andrewchen Also a great book on the topic - Amusing Ourselves to Death https://t.co/yWLBxKumLQ [source]
Stephen Kinsella
@AlanReillyIRL @t0nyyates @WhelanKarl Yes! Fantastic book. So glad you're re-reading it. [source]
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28
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently
John C. Maxwell
4.2
World-renowned leadership expert and bestselling author John C. Maxwell says if you want to be an effective leader, you must learn how to connect with people. While it may seem like some folks are just born with a commanding presence that draws people in, the fact is anyone can learn to communicate in ways that consistently build powerful connections. Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, helps you succeed by revealing Maxwell’s Five Principles and Five Practices to develop this crucial skill of connecting, including: finding common ground, keeping your communication simple, capturing people's interest, inspiring people, and staying authentic in all your relationships. Your ability to achieve results in any organization--be it a company, church, nonprofit, or even in your family--is directly tied to the leadership skills in your toolbox. Connecting is an easy-to-learn skill you can apply today in your personal, professional, and family relationships to start living your best life.
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Recommended by Susan Mazza.
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29
Crucial Accountability
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behavior.
Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.
Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces.
Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like:
- An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what? - Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it. - Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later. - An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment? - Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly. - A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers "how things work around here" and decides not to say anything.
Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. Crucial Confrontations teaches you how to deal with violated expectations in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship--and in fact, even strengthens it.
Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance--the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.
Available for the first time in the United States, this international bestseller reveals the secrets of nonverbal communication to give you confidence and control in any face-to-face encounter–from making a great first impression and acing a job interview to finding the right partner.
It is a scientific fact that people’s gestures give away their true intentions. Yet most of us don’t know how to read body language–and don’t realize how our own physical movements speak to others. Now the world’s foremost experts on the subject share their techniques for reading body language signals to achieve success in every area of life.
Drawing upon more than thirty years in the field, as well as cutting-edge research from evolutionary biology, psychology, and medical technologies that demonstrate what happens in the brain, the authors examine each component of body language and give you the basic vocabulary to read attitudes and emotions through behavior.
Discover: • How palms and handshakes are used to gain control • The most common gestures of liars • How the legs reveal what the mind wants to do • The most common male and female courtship gestures and signals • The secret signals of cigarettes, glasses, and makeup • The magic of smiles–including smiling advice for women • How to use nonverbal cues and signals to communicate more effectively and get the reactions you want
Filled with fascinating insights, humorous observations, and simple strategies that you can apply to any situation, this intriguing book will enrich your communication with and understanding of others–as well as yourself.
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31
Out of My Mind
Sharon M. Draper
4.2
Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy. And she's determined to let everyone know it - somehow.
In this breakthrough story, reminiscent of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, from multiple Coretta Scott King Award-winner Sharon Draper, readers will come to know a brilliant mind and a brave spirit who will change forever how they look at anyone with a disability.
Immensely helpful and illuminating to any aspiring writer, Stephen King’s critically lauded, classic bestseller shares the experiences, habits, and convictions that have shaped him and his work.
"Long live the King" hailed Entertainment Weekly upon publication of Stephen King’s On Writing. Part memoir, part master class by one of the bestselling authors of all time, this superb volume is a revealing and practical view of the writer’s craft, comprising the basic tools of the trade every writer must have. King’s advice is grounded in his vivid memories from childhood through his emergence as a writer, from his struggling early career to his widely reported, near-fatal accident in 1999—and how the inextricable link between writing and living spurred his recovery. Brilliantly structured, friendly and inspiring, On Writing will empower and entertain everyone who reads it—fans, writers, and anyone who loves a great story well told.
I read a bunch of books on writing before I wrote my first book and the two that stuck with me were Stephen King’s book and “On Writing Well” by Zinsser (which is a bit on the technical side). [source]
Alina Varlanuta
My professional path – copywriting – somehow intertwines with my unprofessional (hahaha) path – writing so I would recommend reading literature for both. Somehow reading and writing are two ways of doing the same thing: storytelling (even when you read you tell yourself a story in your own voice, bringing your personal emotion and empathy to the story you’re reading). The only difference is that when I’m reading, panic is far away from me, in a safe place. Nevertheless, the words below helped me rewrite and think twice before adding an exclamation point: On Writing by Stephen King. [source]
Andrew Cowan
Yes. It is a surprise to a lot of people that this book is so widely read on university campuses and so widely recommended by teachers of writing. Students love it. It’s bracing: there’s no nonsense. He says somewhere in the foreword or preface that it is a short book because most books are filled with bullshit and he is determined not to offer bullshit but to tell it like it is. [source]
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33
The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism
What if charisma could be taught? For the first time, science and technology have taken charisma apart, figured it out and turned it into an applied science: In controlled laboratory experiments, researchers could raise or lower people's level of charisma as if they were turning a dial. What you'll find here is practical magic: unique knowledge, drawn from a variety of sciences, revealing what charisma really is and how it works. You'll get both the insights and the techniques you need to apply this knowledge. The world will become your lab, and every person you meet, a chance to experiment. The Charisma Myth is a mix of fun stories, sound science, and practical tools. Cabane takes a hard scientific approach to a heretofore mystical topic, covering what charisma actually is, how it is learned, what its side effects are, and how to handle them.
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Recommended by Marissa Mayer, Laura Lang, Dr. Monali Y. Desai, and 2 others.
Marissa Mayer
Former CEO/Yahoo!
Proud of our friend and neighbor Olivia Fox Cabane - her book 'The Charisma Myth' launched today and is already #122 of all books on Amazon. It went into its second printing even before launch! [source]
Laura Lang
CEO/Time Inc.
Olivia Fox Cabane offers hands-on advice and a practical guide to humanizing leaders without comprising integrity or authority. She focused on the ‘it’ factors that can make a real difference. [source]
Dr. Monali Y. Desai
Currently, my favorite business book is The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane) because I feel it has so many small but impactful takeaways about improving how you communicate with others, I try to reread it once a year. [source]
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34
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
In The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Patrick Lencioni once again offers a leadership fable that is as enthralling and instructive as his first two best-selling books, The Five Temptations of a CEO and The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive. This time, he turns his keen intellect and storytelling power to the fascinating, complex world of teams.
Kathryn Petersen, Decision Tech's CEO, faces the ultimate leadership crisis: Uniting a team in such disarray that it threatens to bring down the entire company. Will she succeed? Will she be fired? Will the company fail? Lencioni's utterly gripping tale serves as a timeless reminder that leadership requires as much courage as it does insight.
Throughout the story, Lencioni reveals the five dysfunctions which go to the very heart of why teams even the best ones-often struggle. He outlines a powerful model and actionable steps that can be used to overcome these common hurdles and build a cohesive, effective team. Just as with his other books, Lencioni has written a compelling fable with a powerful yet deceptively simple message for all those who strive to be exceptional team leaders.
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Recommended by AnneMarie Schindler, Holger Seim, Jennifer Rock, and 3 others.
AnneMarie Schindler
I suggest these books because they really open up 'how' you think about life and in turn work, success/challenges/setbacks, and in general, yourself. I believe that the more you can understand yourself and broaden your approach to work, the easier it will be to find work that energizes you. Finally, I'm a team player at heart, and love working with others to achieve a huge goal so a portion of these deal with team composition and performance too. [source]
Holger Seim
Lencioni’s books helped me to shift my focus from individual performance to team performance, and what it takes to make a team perform well. It helped me to realize and take seriously the fact that great team performance doesn’t happen magically but needs conscious effort. When I discovered The Five Dysfunctions of a Team for the first time, we had a dysfunctional team at Blinkist and the book opened my eyes to see the problem clearly and showed clear steps for how they should be tackled. Beforehand I was aware that we had a problem, but I couldn’t pinpoint it specifically and hence, couldn’t solve it easily. This book helped a lot. [source]
Jennifer Rock
In Patrick Lencioni's book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, the executive asks her senior leaders "Who is your first team?" And they each answer incorrectly that it's the team that reports to him or her. The point is that you need to shift your perspective to understanding your senior leadership peers are your first team. We read that book as a leadership team in a corporation where I worked -- and the environment was very competitive between us. When we agreed that our cross-functional leadership team was our first team, we became more cooperative, innovative and productive. And we vastly boosted our results. [source]
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35
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
The ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) with a new Foreword—and available as an eBook for the first time—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors.
Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation” (ParentMagazine). Now, this bestselling classic includes fresh insights and suggestions as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to: · Cope with your child's negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment · Express your strong feelings without being hurtful · Engage your child’s willing cooperation · Set firm limits and maintain goodwill · Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline · Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise · Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
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Recommended by Brian Armstrong, Jeff Atwood, and Miguel De Icaza.
Jeff Atwood
"The best marriage advice book I’ve read is a paperback called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. As you might deduce from the title, it wasn’t meant as a marriage advice book." https://t.co/cy7JeKVsjV [source]
Miguel De Icaza
@codinghorror Yes - that is an awesome book too [source]
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36
Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity
Kim Scott
4.2
From the time we learn to speak, we’re told that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. While this advice may work for everyday life, it is, as Kim Scott has seen, a disaster when adopted by managers.
Scott earned her stripes as a highly successful manager at Google and then decamped to Apple, where she developed a class on optimal management. She has earned growing fame in recent years with her vital new approach to effective management, the “radical candor” method.
Radical candor is the sweet spot between managers who are obnoxiously aggressive on one side and ruinously empathetic on the other. It’s about providing guidance, which involves a mix of praise as well as criticism—delivered to produce better results and help employees achieve.
Great bosses have strong relationships with their employees, and Scott has identified three simple principles for building better relationships with your employees: make it personal, get (sh)it done, and understand why it matters.
Radical Candor offers a guide to those bewildered or exhausted by management, written for bosses and those who manage bosses. Taken from years of the author’s experience, and distilled clearly giving actionable lessons to the reader; it shows managers how to be successful while retaining their humanity, finding meaning in their job, and creating an environment where people both love their work and their colleagues.
"Kim Scott has a well-earned reputation as a kick-ass boss and a voice that CEOs take seriously. In this remarkable book, she draws on her extensive experience to provide clear and honest guidance on the fundamentals of leading others: how to give (and receive) feedback, how to make smart decisions, how to keep moving forward, and much more. If you manage people―whether it be 1 person or a 1,000--you need RADICAL CANDOR. Now." [source]
Question: What five books would you recommend to young people interested in your career path & why? Answer: I know this is sounds self-serving but I’d recommended both of my books, the soon to be released, “Niche Down: How to Become Legendary by Being Different” and Harper Collins’ “instant classic,” “Play Bigger: How Pirates, Dreamers and Innovators Create and Dominate Markets” In addition: The Effective Executive, by Peter Drucker The E-Myth, by Michael Gerber Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott Back from the Dead, by Bill Walton The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing, by Al Ries and Jack Trout [source]
Dux Raymond Sy
@magrom I recommend you be radically candid by challenging directly and caring personally - if you haven't, checkout @kimballscott's book #RadicalCandor - tons of great insights https://t.co/TP58vhmi18 [source]
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37
Presentation Zen: Simple Ideas on Presentation Design and Delivery
Garr Reynolds
4.2
Presentation designer and internationally acclaimed communications expert Garr Reynolds, creator of the most popular Web site on presentation design and delivery on the net — presentationzen.com — shares his experience in a provocative mix of illumination, inspiration, education, and guidance that will change the way you think about making presentations with PowerPoint or Keynote. Presentation Zen challenges the conventional wisdom of making "slide presentations" in today’s world and encourages you to think differently and more creatively about the preparation, design, and delivery of your presentations. Garr shares lessons and perspectives that draw upon practical advice from the fields of communication and business. Combining solid principles of design with the tenets of Zen simplicity, this book will help you along the path to simpler, more effective presentations. --back cover
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38
Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
The secret, master networker Keith Ferrazzi claims, is in reaching out to other people. As Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships—so that everyone wins.
In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps—and inner mindset—he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him.
The son of a small-town steelworker and a cleaning lady, Ferrazzi first used his remarkable ability to connect with others to pave the way to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and several top executive posts. Not yet out of his thirties, he developed a network of relationships that stretched from Washington’s corridors of power to Hollywood’s A-list, leading to him being named one of Crain’s 40 Under 40 and one of Davos’ Global Leader for Tomorrow.
Ferrazzi's form of connecting to the world around him is based on generosity, helping friends connect with other friends. Ferrazzi distinguishes genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handling usually associated with “networking.” He then distills his system of reaching out to people into practical, proven principles. Among them: Don’t keep score: It’s never simply about getting what you want. It’s about getting what you want and making sure that the people who are important to you get what they want, too. “Ping” constantly: The Ins and Outs of reaching out to those in your circle of contacts all the time—not just when you need something. Never eat alone: The dynamics of status are the same whether you’re working at a corporation or attending a society event— “invisibility” is a fate worse than failure. In the course of the book, Ferrazzi outlines the timeless strategies shared by the world’s most connected individuals, from Katherine Graham to Bill Clinton, Vernon Jordan to the Dalai Lama. Chock full of specific advice on handling rejection, getting past gatekeepers, becoming a “conference commando,” and more, Never Eat Alone is destined to take its place alongside How to Win Friends and Influence People as an inspirational classic.
I hate business books. They are full of wishy-washy inspirational stuff and rarely of anything actionable. And even when actionable, it's from the context of that founder and the story they've spun, not the reality that most people face. So if anything, I'd have people read books such as Jayson Gaignard's Mastermind Dinners; Derek Coburn's Networking is Not Working; Shane Snow's Storytelling edge; Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone. [source]
Drawing on cutting-edge neuroscience and psychology and displaying all of the brilliance that made The Tipping Point a classic, Blink changes the way you'll understand every decision you make. Never again will you think about thinking the same way.
Malcolm Gladwell redefined how we understand the world around us. Now, in Blink, he revolutionizes the way we understand the world within. Blink is a book about how we think without thinking, about choices that seem to be made in an instant - in the blink of an eye - that actually aren't as simple as they seem. Why are some people brilliant decision makers, while others are consistently inept? Why do some people follow their instincts and win, while others end up stumbling into error? How do our brains really work - in the office, in the classroom, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom? And why are the best decisions often those that are impossible to explain to others?
In Blink we meet the psychologist who has learned to predict whether a marriage will last, based on a few minutes of observing a couple; the tennis coach who knows when a player will double-fault before the racket even makes contact with the ball; the antiquities experts who recognize a fake at a glance. Here, too, are great failures of "blink": the election of Warren Harding; "New Coke"; and the shooting of Amadou Diallo by police. Blink reveals that great decision makers aren't those who process the most information or spend the most time deliberating, but those who have perfected the art of "thin-slicing" - filtering the very few factors that matter from an overwhelming number of variables.
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Recommended by Ev Williams, Mike Shinoda, Marillyn Hewson, and 4 others.
Mike Shinoda
I know most of the guys in the band read this book. [source]
Marillyn Hewson
CEO/Lockheed Martin
CEO Marilyn Hewson recommends this book because it helped her to trust her instincts in business. [source]
Antonio Eram
When asked to name some books that had a big impact on him, Antonio mentioned Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. [source]
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40
Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences
Nancy Duarte
4.2
Reveals the underlying story form of all great presentations that will not only create impact, but will move people to action Presentations are meant to inform, inspire, and persuade audiences. So why then do so many audiences leave feeling like they've wasted their time? All too often, presentations don't resonate with the audience and move them to transformative action.
Just as the author's first book helped presenters become visual communicators, Resonate helps you make a strong connection with your audience and lead them to purposeful action. The author's approach is simple: building a presentation today is a bit like writing a documentary. Using this approach, you'll convey your content with passion, persuasion, and impact.
Author has a proven track record, including having created the slides in Al Gore's Oscar-winning An Inconvenient Truth Focuses on content development methodologies that are not only fundamental but will move people to action Upends the usual paradigm by making the audience the hero and the presenter the mentor Shows how to use story techniques of conflict and resolution Presentations don't have to be boring ordeals. You can make them fun, exciting, and full of meaning. Leave your audiences energized and ready to take action with Resonate.
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Recommended by Brian Burkhart.
Brian Burkhart
But the book which really hit home was “Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences,” by Nancy Duarte. It’s interesting, I didn’t agree with her methodology or like much of what I read. It was too complex and not realistic for people to use in everyday life. That said, it did help confirm to me that I was onto something. It was a different kind of validation than Godin—that the power of a great presentation isn’t just one man’s opinion. There’s real science behind it. [source]
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41
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You
If you’ve never read The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, you’ve been missing out on one of the best-selling leadership books of all time. If you have read the original version, then you’ll love this new expanded and updated one.
Internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, and author John C. Maxwell has taken this million-seller and made it even better:
Every Law of Leadership has been sharpened and updated Seventeen new leadership stories are included Two new Laws of Leadership are introduced New evaluation tool will reveal your leadership strengths—and weaknesses New application exercises in every chapter will help you grow Why would Dr. Maxwell make changes to his best-selling book?
“A book is a conversation between the author and reader,” says Maxwell. “It’s been ten years since I wrote The 21 Laws of Leadership. I’ve grown a lot since then. I’ve taught these laws in dozens of countries around the world. This new edition gives me the opportunity to share what I’ve learned.”
Dave Ramsey recommended this book on his website. [source]
Lex Na Wei Ming
I remember during the days when I was in National Service, between the ages of 19 to 21. I had a lot of time on my hands. I managed to stumble upon the author by the name of John C Maxwell. He was really popular during that period of time and he had so many good titles like “Developing the leader with you.”, “Today Matters.”, “The 21 irrefutable laws of leadership.”. These series of books really mold me into who I am now. These are very deep character building books. And they came at the right time when I was at an age ready to be mentored and guided. [source]
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42
Pitch Anything: An Innovative Method for Presenting, Persuading, and Winning the Deal
When it comes to delivering a pitch, Oren Klaff has unparalleled credentials. Over the past 13 years, he has used his one-of-a- kind method to raise more than $400 million--and now, for the first time, he describes his formula to help you deliver a winning pitch in any business situation.
Whether you're selling ideas to investors, pitching a client for new business, or even negotiating for a higher salary, "Pitch Anything "will transform the way you position your ideas.
According to Klaff, creating and presenting a great pitch isn't an art--it's a simple science. Applying the latest findings in the field of neuroeconomics, while sharing eye-opening stories of his method in action, Klaff describes how the brain makes decisions and responds to pitches. With this information, you'll remain in complete control of every stage of the pitch process.
"Pitch Anything" introduces the exclusive STRONG method of pitching, which can be put to use immediately:
Setting the Frame
Telling the Story
Revealing the Intrigue
Offering the Prize
Nailing the Hookpoint
Getting a Decision
One truly great pitch can improve your career, make you a lot of money--and even change your life. Success is dependent on the method you use, not how hard you try. "Better method, more money," Klaff says. "Much better method, much more money." Klaff is the best in the business because his method is much better than anyone else's. And now it's yours.
Apply the tactics and strategies outlined in "Pitch Anything" to engage and persuade your audience--and you'll have more funding and support than you ever thought possible.
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Recommended by Alice Kemper, Jeff Gibbard, Michael Herrmann, and 1 others.
Jeff Gibbard
This book single-handedly changed my life. BY learning the principles of "Frame Control" I have had much greater success in sales, public speaking, and in managing my team. [source]
Michael Herrmann
Great book on pitching, and more generally, sales. Funny too. Has some ideas very reminiscent of Thinking Fast and Slow. [source]
"Emotional Intelligence 2.0 succinctly explains how to deal with emotions creatively and employ our intelligence in a beneficial way." --THE DALAI LAMA
For the first time ever in a book, TalentSmart's revolutionary program helps people identify their EQ skills, build these skills into strengths, and enjoy consistent performance in the pursuit of important life objectives. The book contains proven strategies from a decade-long effort to accurately measure and increase emotional intelligence. Trusted by upper-echelon leaders inside companies worldwide, these strategies will enable you to capitalize on the skills responsible for 58% of performance in all types of jobs.
Includes a passcode for online access to the world's bestselling emotional intelligence test, the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal®, which will show you where your EQ stands today and what you can do to begin maximizing it immediately.
Rooted in sound research involving more than 500,000 responses, this new edition of the test will:
--Pinpoint which of the book's 66 emotional intelligence strategies will increase your EQ the most.
--Reveal the specific behaviors responsible for your EQ scores.
--Allow you to test yourself a second time to measure how much your EQ has increased from your efforts.
The book's smooth narrative style turns rigorous research into memorable stories and practical strategies that anyone can use to his or her advantage.
With 90% of top performers high in EQ, and EQ twice as important as IQ in getting where you want to go in life, who can afford to ignore it?
What people are saying about it:
"Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is a fast read with compelling anecdotes and good context in which to understand and improve your score." --Newsweek
"Surveys of 500,000 people on the role of emotions in daily life have enabled the authors to hone EQ assessment to a 28-question online survey that can be completed in seven minutes." --The Washington Post
"Read worthy strategies for improving emotional intelligence skills make this our how-to book of the week. It's nice to know that average IQ doesn't limit a person to average performance. And who can resist an online quiz with instant feedback?" --Newsday
"Gives abundant, practical findings and insights with emphasis on how to develop EQ. Research shows convincingly that EQ is more important than IQ." --Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
"This book can drastically change the way you think about success...read it twice." --Patrick Lencioni, author, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
"At last a book that gives how to's rather than just what to's. We need no more convincing that emotional intelligence is at the core of life success. What we need are practical ways of improving it. Bradberry and Greaves brilliant new book is a godsend. It will change your life." --Joseph Grenny, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Crucial Conversations
"Emotional intelligence is an extremely important skill for personal and professional success. This book is excellent and the learning included in the free online test is cutting-edge. I strongly recommend it." --Ken Blanchard, bestselling business book author of all time; coauthor The One Minute Manager®
"I distributed the book to my entire team. We found it very helpful in our dealings with each other and our internal customers. With all the new buzzwords over the past few years, the heart and soul of a company's culture is how they support and promote emotional intelligence. Those with foresight see that emotional intelligence will separate the good companies from the great ones. This book is a wonderful tool for a grass roots approach. If your desire is to be a truly resonate leader that people will trust and follow, this is an opportunity that cannot only change your professional career, but also your personal relationships." --Regina Sacha, vice president, human resources, FedEx Custom Critical
"In the fast lane of business life today, people spend more time on computer keyboards, blackberries and conference calls than they do in face-to-face communication. We're expected to piece together broken conversations, cryptic voicemails, and abbreviated text messages to figure out how to proceed. In this increasingly complex web, emotional intelligence is more important than ever before. This book is filled with invaluable insights and information that no one can afford to ignore." --Rajeev Peshawaria, executive director, Goldman Sachs International
Gives abundant, practical findings and insights with emphasis on how to develop EQ. Research shows convincingly that EQ is more important than IQ. [source]
Deke Bridges
Current read... fascinating IQ vs EQ. Worthy book. #books #education #growth #LifeLessons @LeadersBest https://t.co/j0fjFstOWb [source]
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44
Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
The bestselling authors of the classic Difficult Conversations teach us how to turn evaluations, advice, criticisms, and coaching into productive listening and learning
We swim in an ocean of feedback. Bosses, colleagues, customers—but also family, friends, and in-laws—they all have “suggestions” for our performance, parenting, or appearance. We know that feedback is essential for healthy relationships and professional development—but we dread it and often dismiss it.
That’s because receiving feedback sits at the junction of two conflicting human desires. We do want to learn and grow. And we also want to be accepted just as we are right now. Thanks for the Feedback is the first book to address this tension head on. It explains why getting feedback is so crucial yet so challenging, and offers a powerful framework to help us take on life’s blizzard of off-hand comments, annual evaluations, and unsolicited advice with curiosity and grace.
The business world spends billions of dollars and millions of hours each year teaching people how to give feedback more effectively. Stone and Heen argue that we’ve got it backwards and show us why the smart money is on educating receivers— in the workplace and in personal relationships as well.
Coauthors of the international bestseller Difficult Conversations, Stone and Heen have spent the last ten years working with businesses, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. With humor and clarity, they blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice. The book is destined to become a classic in the world of leadership, organizational behavior, and education.
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Recommended by Chris Benko, Alan Echtenkamp, and Andra Zaharia.
Chris Benko
VP of Global Talent Management/Merck
Startlingly original advice for how to make feedback truly useful. [source]
Alan Echtenkamp
Learning and HR professionals aren’t the only ones who will love this book. It should be required reading for anyone receiving a performance appraisal -- and anyone who is striving to improve. [source]
Andra Zaharia
These books and their core ideas have stuck with me the most and continue to guide me when I hit crossroads along the way. [source]
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45
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Henry Cloud, John Townsend
4.1
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
An essential book that unlocks the secrets of highly successful groups and provides readers with a toolkit for building a cohesive, innovative culture, from the New York Times bestselling author of The Talent Code
If you want to understand how successful groups work—the signals they transmit, the language they speak, the cues that foster creativity—you won’t find a more essential guide than The Culture Code.
So here are my three must read books. I've been reading a lot of great books like: Outsmart Your Instincts, The Culture Code, and Antonio Damasio’s The Strange Order, and sometimes when you read a lot of nonfiction it’s very enriching, sometimes you need a novel. I really believe you should take a minute and read something beautiful. Listen, listen to Lolita by Nabokov. But also listen to Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy and listen to Richard Poe narrate that. Those are two of the greatest feats of the english language that I can think of. Then there’s Fortress of Solitude, an amazing book, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, these are great novels. Cold Mountain is a beautiful novel, Snow Falling On Cedars, I mean they’ve been around for a while. But goddamnit, get those under your belt. Those are the novels I think you should read. You know Love In The Time Of Cholera it just makes you ache. Kind of like a Hemingway thing, where Hemingway “ahh!”, it’s the same thing, you know. So I don’t know, I’m a fan of all those books. Those are my 3 slash 20 books. [source]
Graham Duncan
The author looks at a bunch of different cultures. Pixar, Navy SEALs, etc... And he’s looking for patterns among what makes people disproportionately effective as a culture. [source]
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47
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade
The author of the legendary bestseller Influence, social psychologist Robert Cialdini shines a light on effective persuasion and reveals that the secret doesn’t lie in the message itself, but in the key moment before that message is delivered.
What separates effective communicators from truly successful persuaders? Using the same combination of rigorous scientific research and accessibility that made his Influence an iconic bestseller, Robert Cialdini explains how to capitalize on the essential window of time before you deliver an important message. This “privileged moment for change” prepares people to be receptive to a message before they experience it. Optimal persuasion is achieved only through optimal pre-suasion. In other words, to change “minds” a pre-suader must also change “states of mind.”
His first solo work in over thirty years, Cialdini’s Pre-Suasion draws on his extensive experience as the most cited social psychologist of our time and explains the techniques a person should implement to become a master persuader. Altering a listener’s attitudes, beliefs, or experiences isn’t necessary, says Cialdini—all that’s required is for a communicator to redirect the audience’s focus of attention before a relevant action.
From studies on advertising imagery to treating opiate addiction, from the annual letters of Berkshire Hathaway to the annals of history, Cialdini draws on an array of studies and narratives to outline the specific techniques you can use on online marketing campaigns and even effective wartime propaganda. He illustrates how the artful diversion of attention leads to successful pre-suasion and gets your targeted audience primed and ready to say, “Yes.”
I just finished reading Pre-Suasion, or I should say I just finished skimming Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini. I don’t think I needed to read the entire book to get the point, but it was still good to read what I did. [source]
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48
Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations
William Ury
4.1
We all want to get to yes, but what happens when the other person keeps saying no?
How can you negotiate successfully with a stubborn boss, an irate customer, or a deceitful coworker?
In Getting Past No, William Ury of Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation offers a proven breakthrough strategy for turning adversaries into negotiating partners. You’ll learn how to:
• Stay in control under pressure • Defuse anger and hostility • Find out what the other side really wants • Counter dirty tricks • Use power to bring the other side back to the table • Reach agreements that satisfies both sides' needs
Getting Past No is the state-of-the-art book on negotiation for the twenty-first century. It will help you deal with tough times, tough people, and tough negotiations. You don’t have to get mad or get even. Instead, you can get what you want!
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49
Words That Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear
Frank I. Luntz
4.1
The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this country In Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential. Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. Hell tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness." If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.
These two books are the two best books of political thinking and theater from both the left and the right. Regardless of ideologies, both are experts in influencing and leading public perception through image and words. It actually matters whether we’re talking about illegal immigrants or undocumented workers, or whether we describe the problem as climate change or global warming. Strategists need to understand the power of language and framing–it doesn’t matter how right you are, if you lose this battle it can be impossible to rally people to your cause. Read both these books. [source]
Brian Burkhart
He’s the one who said the two most powerful words are “imagine” and “believe.” That’s huge, and I absolutely agree. [source]
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50
Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
Since its original publication in 2000, Leadership and Self-Deception has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Its sales continue to increase year after year, and the book's popularity has gone global, with editions now available in over twenty languages.
Leadership and Self-Deception shows how the problems that typically prevent superior performance in organizations and cause conflicts in our personal lives are the result of a little-known problem called self-deception. People who are in self-deception live and work as if trapped in a box. They can't see the reality around them--they're blind to the self-serving motivations that are sabotaging them on the job and at home. But there is a way out. Through an entertaining and engaging story, Leadership and Self-Deception shows what self-deception is, how it operates, the damage it does, and, most importantly, what can be done about it.This third edition includes new research about the self-deception gap in organizations and the keys to closing this gap so that people take responsibility for their own problems and for organizational problems. It also includes the first chapter from Arbinger's latest bestseller, The Outward Mindset.
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Recommended by Dustin Moskovitz, Bruce L. Christensen, Dave Browne, and 9 others.
Dustin Moskovitz
Co-founder/Facebook and Asana
Dustin Moskovitz recommended this book on Twitter. [source]
Bruce L. Christensen
CEO/PBS
After decades of executive leadership in senior management positions, I’ve finally found in Arbinger what I consider to be the best means of improving every measure of success. From boosting the bottom line to increasing personal joy, this book shows the way. [source]
Dave Browne
Former President & CEO/LensCrafters
Remarkable. Arbinger possesses the hidden key to productivity and creativity. Do whatever you can to get your hands on this material. [source]
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51
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a powerful new vision that encourages us to dare greatly: to embrace vulnerability and imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and to courageously engage in our lives.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt
Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts.
In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability. Based on twelve years of research, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather our clearest path to courage, engagement, and meaningful connection. The book that Dr. Brown’s many fans have been waiting for, Daring Greatly will spark a new spirit of truth—and trust—in our organizations, families, schools, and communities.
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Recommended by AnneMarie Schindler, Chase Jarvis, and Chelsea Frank.
AnneMarie Schindler
I suggest these books because they really open up 'how' you think about life and in turn work, success/challenges/setbacks, and in general, yourself. I believe that the more you can understand yourself and broaden your approach to work, the easier it will be to find work that energizes you. Finally, I'm a team player at heart, and love working with others to achieve a huge goal so a portion of these deal with team composition and performance too. [source]
Chase Jarvis
Chase Jarvis recommended this book on the podcast "The Tim Ferriss Show". [source]
Chelsea Frank
I read everything with an open mind, often challenging myself by choosing books with an odd perspective or religious/spiritual views. These books do not reflect my personal feelings but are books that helped shape my perspective on life, love, and happiness. [source]
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Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
In her #1 New York Times bestsellers, Brené Brown has taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong, and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters, she's showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead.
Leadership is not about titles, status, and wielding power. A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for recognizing the potential in people and ideas, and has the courage to develop that potential.
When we dare to lead, we don't pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don't see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others. We don't avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into vulnerability when it's necessary to do good work.
But daring leadership in a culture defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty requires skill-building around traits that are deeply and uniquely human. The irony is that we're choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the exact same time as we're scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines and AI can't do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection, and courage, to start.
Four-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown has spent the past two decades studying the emotions and experiences that give meaning to our lives, and the past seven years working with transformative leaders and teams spanning the globe. She found that leaders in organizations ranging from small entrepreneurial startups and family-owned businesses to nonprofits, civic organizations, and Fortune 50 companies all ask the same question:
How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders, and how do you embed the value of courage in your culture?
In this new book, Brown uses research, stories, and examples to answer these questions in the no-BS style that millions of readers have come to expect and love.
Brown writes, "One of the most important findings of my career is that daring leadership is a collection of skills and practices that are 100 percent teachable. It's learning and unlearning that requires brave work, tough conversations, and showing up with your whole heart. Easy? No. Because choosing courage over comfort is not always our default. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and our work. It's why we're here."
Whether you've read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong or you're new to Brené Brown's work, this book is for anyone who wants to step up and into brave leadership.
With Dare to Lead, Brené brings decades of research to bear in a practical and insightful guide to courageous leadership. This book is a road map for anyone who wants to lead mindfully, live bravely, and dare to lead. [source]
Co-Founder/Pixar, CEO Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios
Brene visited Pixar to talk with our filmmakers. Her message was important, as movies are best when they come from a place of vulnerability, when the people who make them encounter setbacks and are forced to overcome them, when they are willing to have their asses handed to them. It is easy to sit back and talk about the values of a safe and meaningful culture, but extraordinarily difficult to pull it off. You don’t achieve good culture without constant attention, without an environment of safety, courage, and vulnerability. These are hard skills, but they are teachable skills. Start with this book. [source]
Don’t miss one of my favorite human beings @BreneBrown, discuss her book #DareToLead on this #MarieTV: this is for every one of us that wants to show up, contribute, and lean into our purpose 💪🏼💗 https://t.co/QVgSpZe9e9 [source]
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53
If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating
Alan Alda and Random House Audi
4.1
From iconic actor and bestselling author Alan Alda, an indispensable guide to communicating better—based on his experience with acting, improv, science, and storytelling
The acclaimed actor shares fascinating and powerful lessons from the art and science of communication, and teaches readers to improve the way they relate to others using improv games, storytelling, and their own innate ability to read what’s probably going on in the minds of others. With his trademark humor and frankness, Alan Alda explains what makes the out-of-the-box techniques he developed after his years as the host of Scientific American Frontiers so effective. This book reveals what it means to be a true communicator, and how we can communicate better, in every aspect of our lives—with our friends, lovers, and families, with our doctors, in business settings, and beyond.
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54
How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading
With more than half a million paperback copies in print and now in this stunning hardcover keepsake edition, How to Read a Book is the classic and definitive guide to reading comprehension and retention for students of literature, scholars across disciplines, and anyone who just loves to read.
Originally written in 1940 and first published by Simon & Schuster in 1972, How to Read a Book introduces and elucidates the various levels of reading and how to achieve them in order to gain the most understanding and insight from any book. From elementary reading, through systematic skimming and inspectional reading, to speed reading and beyond, readers will learn when and how to “judge a book by its cover,” perceive structure no matter the prose, read critically, and extract the author’s message from the text.
Also included are specific reading techniques that work best for reading particular genres, whether they be practical books, imaginative literature, plays, poetry, history, science and mathematics, philosophy, or social science works. A recommended reading list and multiple comprehension tests are incorporated as well in order to measure progress in reading skills, speed, and understanding.
As poignant and applicable today as it was nearly seventy-five years ago, this beautiful hardcover edition is the perfect way for you to discover or rediscover How to Read a Book, a rare phenomenon and the best and most successful guide to reading comprehension.
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Recommended by Sergey Brin, Ben Chestnut, Kevin Systrom, and 3 others.
had “How to Read a Book” by Mortimer J. Adler as one of his most recommended books. [source]
Ben Chestnut
Founder & CEO/MailChimp
I also love How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler. I’m teaching its tips to my children while they’re young, so they can consume books much faster and have more fun reading. [source]
Kevin Systrom
The author's thesis is that the most important part of reading a book is to actually read the table of contents and familiarize yourself with the major structure of the book. [source]
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55
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time
While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a company, a relationship, or a life, any single conversation can. In this revised edition of Fierce Conversations the bestselling classic guide to getting your message across and getting what you want master teacher and leader Susan Scott gives you the tools to transform the conversations central to your success, and teaches you how to fiercely and honestly cut through the noise and clutter. You ll learn how to: Overcome barriers to meaningful conversations Handle strong emotions on both sides of the table Expand and enrich your most valuable currency: relationships Increase clarity and improve understanding Catalyze creativity, problem solving, and passion Connect with colleagues, customers, and family at a deep level It s time to change the conversation.
A life-affirming primer for moving us toward the conversations we need to have most. Douglas Stone, New York Times Bestselling Coauthor of Difficult Conversations A reminder that the way out is through. . . . [Susan Scott] provides great techniques for navigating the passage. David Allen, New York Times Bestselling Author of Getting Things Done Scott s workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own. Booklist"
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56
The Art of Communicating
Thich Nhat Hanh
4.1
Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, bestselling author of Peace is Every Step and one of the most respected and celebrated religious leaders in the world, delivers a powerful path to happiness through mastering life's most important skill.
How do we say what we mean in a way that the other person can really hear?
How can we listen with compassion and understanding?
Communication fuels the ties that bind, whether in relationships, business, or everyday interactions. Most of us, however, have never been taught the fundamental skills of communication—or how to best represent our true selves. Effective communication is as important to our well-being and happiness as the food we put into our bodies. It can be either healthy (and nourishing) or toxic (and destructive).
In this precise and practical guide, Zen master and Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh reveals how to listen mindfully and express your fullest and most authentic self. With examples from his work with couples, families, and international conflicts, The Art of Communicating helps us move beyond the perils and frustrations of misrepresentation and misunderstanding to learn the listening and speaking skills that will forever change how we experience and impact the world.
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57
Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive
Noah J. Goldstein Ph.D., Steve J. Martin, Robert Cialdini Ph.D.
4.1
Small changes can make a big difference in your powers of persuasion.
What one word can you start using today to increase your persuasiveness by more than fifty percent? Which item of stationery can dramatically increase people's responses to your requests? How can you win over your rivals by inconveniencing them? Why does knowing that so many dentists are named Dennis improve your persuasive prowess?
Every day we face the challenge of persuading others to do what we want. But what makes people say yes to our requests? Persuasion is not only an art, it is also a science, and researchers who study it have uncovered a series of hidden rules for moving people in your direction. Based on more than sixty years of research into the psychology of persuasion, Yes! reveals fifty simple but remarkably effective strategies that will make you much more persuasive at work and in your personal life, too.
Cowritten by the world's most quoted expert on influence, Professor Robert Cialdini, Yes! presents dozens of surprising discoveries from the science of persuasion in short, enjoyable, and insightful chapters that you can apply immediately to become a more effective persuader. Why did a sign pointing out the problem of vandalism in the Petrified Forest National Park actually increase the theft of pieces of petrified wood? Why did sales of jam multiply tenfold when consumers were offered many fewer flavors? Why did people prefer a Mercedes immediately after giving reasons why they prefer a BMW? What simple message on cards left in hotel rooms greatly increased the number of people who behaved in environmentally friendly ways?
Often counterintuitive, the findings presented in Yes! will steer you away from common pitfalls while empowering you with little-known but proven wisdom.
Whether you are in advertising, marketing, management, or sales, or just curious about how to be more influential in everyday life, Yes! shows how making small, scientifically proven changes to your approach can have a dramatic effect on your persuasive powers.
Dale Carnegie, author of the legendary How to Win Friends and Influence People, began his career as the premier "life coach" of the twentieth century by teaching the art of public speaking. Public speaking, as Carnegie saw it, is a vital skill that can be attained through basic and repeated steps. His classic volume on the subject appeared in 1926 and was revised twice-in shortened versions-in 1956 and 1962. This 2006 revision-edited by a longtime consultant to Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc., and the editor in charge of updating How to Win Friends and Influence People-is the definitive one for our era.
While up-to-date in its language and points of reference, Public Speaking for Success preserves the full range of ideas and methods that appeared in the original: including Carnegie's complete speech and diction exercises, which follow each chapter, as the author originally designated them. This edition restores Carnegie's original appendix of the three complete self-help classics: Acres of Diamonds by Russell H. Conwell, As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, and A Message to Garcia by Elbert Hubbard. Carnegie included these essays in his original edition because, although they do not directly relate to public speaking, he felt they would be of great value to the readers. Here is the definitive update of the best-loved public-speaking book of all time.
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Recommended by Marianne Vanella.
Marianne Vanella
@sylv3on_ It's all about practice. This is a great book to read https://t.co/5Ws3CRUZli [source]
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59
Communicating for a Change: Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication
Andy Stanley, Lane Jones
4.1
When You Talk, Are People Changed?
Whether you speak from the pulpit, podium, or the front of a classroom, you don’t need much more than blank stares and faraway looks to tell you you’re not connecting. Take heart before your audience takes leave! You can convey your message in the powerful, life-changing way it deserves to be told. An insightful, entertaining parable that’s an excellent guide for any speaker, Communicating for a Change takes a simple approach to delivering effectively. Join Pastor Ray as he discovers that the secrets to successful speaking are parallel to the lessons a trucker learns on the road. By knowing your destination before you leave (identifying the one basic premise of your message), using your blinkers (making transitions obvious), and implementing five other practical points, you’ll drive your message home every time!
“Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
“Once upon a time…”
“In the beginning…”
Great stories capture and hold an audience’s attention from start to finish. Why should it be any different when you stand up to speak?
In Communicating for a Change, Andy Stanley and Lane Jones offer a unique strategy for communicators seeking to deliver captivating and practical messages. In this highly creative presentation, the authors unpack seven concepts that will empower you to engage and impact your audience in a way that leaves them wanting more.
“Whether you are a senior pastor with weekly teaching responsibilities or a student pastor who has bern charged with engaging the hearts and minds of high school students, this book is a must-read.” -Bill Hybels, Senior pastor, Willow Creak Community Church
“A very practical resource for every biblical communicator who wants to go from good to great.” -Ed Young, Senior pastor, Fellowship Church, Grapevine, Texas
“To communicate effectively, you have to connect. Andy has been connecting with people for years, and now he’s sharing his insights with the rest of us.” -Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian
Story Behind the Book
Andy Stanley and Lane Jones are on staff at one of America ’s largest churches, North Point Community. Leaders of thousands of people, they regularly speak in front of large groups. They also listen to numerous speakers and know the disastrous effects of a poorly delivered message. This book is the result of their efforts to make public speaking—one of the most common fear-inducing activities known to mankind—simple, easy, and even enjoyable, so that God’s messages will readily produce the life-changing results they should.
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60
How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People
Les Giblin
4.1
Taking a brass tacks approach to communication, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People explains how to interact with others as they really are, not as you would like them to be. The goal is to get what you want from them successfully – be it cooperation, goodwill, love or security.
Les Giblin, a recognized expert in the field of human relations, has devised a method for dealing with people that can be used when relating with anyone – parents, teachers, bosses, employees, friends, acquaintances, even strangers. Giblin shows step by step how to get what you want at any time and in ways that leave you feeling good about yourself. Moreover, the people who have given you want you want wind up feeling good about themselves, too. The result? Nobody gets shortchanged. It’s a win-win situation.
Each chapter includes a handy summary, so there’s absolutely no chance of missing the book’s key points. You can also use these recaps to refresh your memory after you’ve finished the book. Instead of feeling miserable about your interpersonal skills, read this best-selling guide and learn to succeed with people in every area of your life.
Do you feel awkward at networking events? Do you wonder what your date really thinks of you? Do you wish you could decode people? You need to learn the science of people.
As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And she’s cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on how to captivate anyone—and a completely new approach to building connections.
Just like knowing the formulas to use in a chemistry lab, or the right programming language to build an app, Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems. You’ll learn, for example…
· How to work a room: Every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map. Discover the sweet spot for making the most connections. · How to read faces: It’s easier than you think to speed-read facial expressions and use them to predict people’s emotions. · How to talk to anyone: Every conversation can be memorable—once you learn how certain words generate the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners.
When you understand the laws of human behavior, your influence, impact, and income will increase significantly. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. You’ll never interact the same way again.
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62
Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man
Marshall McLuhan, Lewis H. Lapham
4.1
Terms and phrases such as "the global village" and "the medium is the message" are now part of the lexicon, and McLuhan's theories continue to challenge our sensibilities and our assumptions about how and what we communicate.
This reissue of Understanding Media marks the thirtieth anniversary (1964-1994) of Marshall McLuhan's classic expose on the state of the then emerging phenomenon of mass media. Terms and phrases such as "the global village" and "the medium is the message" are now part of the lexicon, and McLuhan's theories continue to challenge our sensibilities and our assumptions about how and what we communicate.
There has been a notable resurgence of interest in McLuhan's work in the last few years, fueled by the recent and continuing conjunctions between the cable companies and the regional phone companies, the appearance of magazines such as WiRed, and the development of new media models and information ecologies, many of which were spawned from MIT's Media Lab. In effect, media now begs to be redefined. In a new introduction to this edition of Understanding Media, Harper's editor Lewis Lapham reevaluates McLuhan's work in the light of the technological as well as the political and social changes that have occurred in the last part of this century.
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Recommended by Cynthia Johnson.
Cynthia Johnson
This book will help change the way you think about digital marketing tools or social media tools, or any sort of communication device. Really focus on what do they do and how do they work first, and then create the content. [source]
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63
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
Deborah Tannen
4.1
From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words.
Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words.
Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said.
Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.
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64
Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
Anne Lamott
4.1
Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'" "Superb writing advice... hilarious, helpful and provocative." -- "New York Times Book Review."
"A warm, generous and hilarious guide through the writer's world and its treacherous swamps." -- "Los Angeles Times."
"A gift to all of us mortals who write or ever wanted to write... sidesplittingly funny, patiently wise and alternately cranky and kind -- a reveille to get off our duffs and start writing "now," while we still can." -- "Seattle Times.
Bird by Bird is one of my absolute favorite books, and I gift it to everybody, which I should probably also give to startup founders, quite frankly. A lot of the lessons are the same. But you can get to your destination, even though you can only see 20 feet in front of you. [source]
It was wonderful to read these two provocative books of essays by two incredibly wise and compassionate women. … Anne Lamott’s book is ostensibly about the art of writing, but really it too is about life and how to tackle the problems, temptations and opportunities life throws at us. Both will make you think and both made me a better person this year. [source]
Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour.
Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.
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66
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts
Robert Bolton
4.1
Improve your personal and professional relationships instantly with this timeless guide to communication, listening skills, body language, and conflict resolution.
A wall of silent resentment shuts you off from someone you love....You listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other....Your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you....
People Skills is a communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these “roadblocks” damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.
People Skills will show you:
· How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques
· How body language often speaks louder than words
· How to use silence as a valuable communication tool
· How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments
Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.
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67
slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations
Nancy Duarte
4.1
No matter where you are on the organizational ladder, the odds are high that you've delivered a high-stakes presentation to your peers, your boss, your customers, or the general public. Presentation software is one of the few tools that requires professionals to think visually on an almost daily basis. But unlike verbal skills, effective visual expression is not easy, natural, or actively taught in schools or business training programs. slide:ology fills that void.
Written by Nancy Duarte, President and CEO of Duarte Design, the firm that created the presentation for Al Gore's Oscar-winning film, An Inconvenient Truth, this book is full of practical approaches to visual story development that can be applied by anyone. The book combines conceptual thinking and inspirational design, with insightful case studies from the world's leading brands. With slide:ology you'll learn to:
Connect with specific audiences Turn ideas into informative graphics Use sketching and diagramming techniques effectively Create graphics that enable audiences to process information easily Develop truly influential presentations Utilize presentation technology to your advantage Millions of presentations and billions of slides have been produced -- and most of them miss the mark. slide:ology will challenge your traditional approach to creating slides by teaching you how to be a visual thinker. And it will help your career by creating momentum for your cause. --back cover
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68
Confessions of a Public Speaker
Scott Berkun
4.1
In this hilarious and highly practical book, author and professional speaker Scott Berkun reveals the techniques behind what great communicators do, and shows how anyone can learn to use them well. For managers and teachers -- and anyone else who talks and expects someone to listen -- Confessions of a Public Speaker provides an insider's perspective on how to effectively present ideas to anyone. It's a unique, entertaining, and instructional romp through the embarrassments and triumphs Scott has experienced over 15 years of speaking to crowds of all sizes.
With lively lessons and surprising confessions, you'll get new insights into the art of persuasion -- as well as teaching, learning, and performance -- directly from a master of the trade.
Highlights include:
Berkun's hard-won and simple philosophy, culled from years of lectures, teaching courses, and hours of appearances on NPR, MSNBC, and CNBC
Practical advice, including how to work a tough room, the science of not boring people, how to survive the attack of the butterflies, and what to do when things go wrong
The inside scoop on who earns $30,000 for a one-hour lecture and why
The worst -- and funniest -- disaster stories you've ever heard (plus countermoves you can use) Filled with humorous and illuminating stories of thrilling performances and real-life disasters, Confessions of a Public Speaker is inspirational, devastatingly honest, and a blast to read.
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69
Influencer: The Power to Change Anything
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
From the bestselling authors who taught the world how to have Crucial Conversations comes Influencer, a thought-provoking book that combines the remarkable insights of behavioral scientists and business leaders with the astonishing stories of high-powered influencers from all walks of life. You'll be taught each and every step of the influence process-including robust strategies for making change inevitable in your personal life, your business, and your world. You'll learn how to:
- Identify a handful of high-leverage behaviors that lead to rapid and profound change. - Apply strategies for changing both thoughts and actions. - Marshall six sources of influence to make change inevitable.
Influencer takes you on a fascinating journey from San Francisco to Thailand where you'll see how seemingly “insignificant” people are making incredibly significant improvements in solving problems others would think impossible. You'll learn how savvy folks make change not only achievable and sustainable, but inevitable. You'll discover why some managers have increased productivity repeatedly and significantly-while others have failed miserably.
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70
To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others
From the bestselling author of Drive and A Whole New Mind comes a surprising--and surprisingly useful--new book that explores the power of selling in our lives.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, one in nine Americans works in sales. Every day more than fifteen million people earn their keep by persuading someone else to make a purchase.
But dig deeper and a startling truth emerges:
Yes, one in nine Americans works in sales. But sodo the other eight.
Whether we’re employees pitching colleagues on a new idea, entrepreneurs enticing funders to invest, or parents and teachers cajoling children to study, we spend our days trying to move others. Like it or not, we’re all in sales now.
To Sell Is Human offers a fresh look at the art and science of selling. As he did in Drive and A Whole New Mind, Daniel H. Pink draws on a rich trove of social science for his counterintuitive insights. He reveals the new ABCs of moving others (it's no longer "Always Be Closing"), explains why extraverts don't make the best salespeople, and shows how giving people an "off-ramp" for their actions can matter more than actually changing their minds.
Along the way, Pink describes the six successors to the elevator pitch, the three rules for understanding another's perspective, the five frames that can make your message clearer and more persuasive, and much more. The result is a perceptive and practical book--one that will change how you see the world and transform what you do at work, at school, and at home.
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Recommended by Cat Williams-Treloar, Jeffrey Shaw, and Ola Olusoga.
Cat Williams-Treloar
Daniel Pink "To Sell is Human" - describes selling as a way to move and serve people along the journey. It's packed full of examples, science and experiments in an easily digestible form. [source]
Jeffrey Shaw
I’m asked all the time what books I suggest. These are the best of the best. Links to each book are here https://t.co/pJXWOeZtBu #marketing #entrepreneur https://t.co/1wCkqQw8GX [source]
Ola Olusoga
Like Charlie Munger once said: “I’ve long believed that a certain system - which almost any intelligent person can learn - works way better than the systems most people use to understand the world. What you need is a latticework of mental models in your head. And, with that system, things gradually fit together in a way that enhances cognition. Just as multiple factors shape every system, multiple mental models from a variety of disciplines are necessary to understand that system". You can read this book to start building a "latticework of mental models in your head". [source]
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71
The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs
Carmine Gallo
4.1
The Wall Street Journal Bestseller!
Updated to include Steve Jobs's iPad and iPad2 launch presentations
"The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs reveals the operating system behind any great presentation and provides you with a quick-start guide to design your own passionate interfaces with your audiences." --Cliff Atkinson, author of Beyond Bullet Points and The Activist Audience
Former Apple CEO Steve Jobs's wildly popular presentations have set a new global gold standard--and now this step-by-step guide shows you exactly how to use his crowd-pleasing techniques in your own presentations.
The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs is as close as you'll ever get to having the master presenter himself speak directly in your ear. Communications expert Carmine Gallo has studied and analyzed the very best of Jobs's performances, offering point-by-point examples, tried-and-true techniques, and proven presentation secrets in 18 "scenes," including:
Develop a messianic sense of purpose Reveal the Conquering hero Channel your inner Zen Stage your presentation with props Make it look effortless With this revolutionary approach, you'll be surprised at how easy it is to sell your ideas, share your enthusiasm, and wow your audience the Steve Jobs way.
"No other leader captures an audience like Steve Jobs does and, like no other book, The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs captures the formula Steve uses to enthrall audiences." --Rob Enderle, The Enderle Group
"Now you can learn from the best there is--both Jobs and Gallo. No matter whether you are a novice presenter or a professional speaker like me, you will read and reread this book with the same enthusiasm that people bring to their iPods." --David Meerman Scott, bestselling author of The New Rules of Marketing & PR and World Wide Rave
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Recommended by Jack H. M. Wong.
Jack H. M. Wong
Question: What five books would you recommend to young people interested in your career path & why? Answer: Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki Second Chance - Robert Kiyosaki Why the Rich Are Getting Richer - Robert Kiyosaki The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs: How to Be Insanely Great in Front of Any Audience - Carmine Gallo The Little Voice Mastery - Blair Singer [source]
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72
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More Change the Way You Lead Forever
Coaching is an essential skill for leaders. But for most busy, overworked managers, coaching employees is done badly, or not at all. They’re just too busy, and it’s too hard to change.
But what if managers could coach their people in 10 minutes or less?
In Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit, coaching becomes a regular, informal part of your day so managers and their teams can work less hard and have more impact.
Coaching is an art and it’s far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide an answer, or unleash a solution. Giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. It can also mean unlearning our “fix it” habits. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And, he guides us through the tricky part - how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice.
––Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
Drawing on years of experience training more than 10,000 busy managers from around the globe in practical, everyday coaching skills, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unlock your peoples’ potential. He unpacks seven essential coaching questions to demonstrate how—by saying less and asking more—you can develop coaching methods that produce great results. • Get straight to the point in any conversation with The Kickstart Question • Stay on track during any interaction with The AWE Question • Save hours of time for yourself with The Lazy Question, and hours of time for others with The Strategic Question • Get to the heart of any interpersonal or external challenge with The Focus Question and The Foundation Question • Finally, ensure others find your coaching as beneficial as you do with The Learning Question
A fresh, innovative take on the traditional how-to manual, the book combines insider information with research based in neuroscience and behavioural economics, together with interactive training tools to turn practical advice into practiced habits. Dynamic question-and-answer sections help identify old habits and kick-start new behaviour, making sure you get the most out of all seven chapters. Witty and conversational, The Coaching Habit takes your work—and your workplace—from good to great.
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Recommended by Armina Sirbu, Brene Brown, Dan Rockwell, and 3 others.
Armina Sirbu
The Coaching Habit by M. Stanier - for people who need to coach their teams. [source]
Coaching is an art and it's far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide and answer, or unleash a solution. giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part - how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice. [source]
Scott Perry
Michael Bungay-Stanier’s The Coaching Habit was the first book I read when I received the altMBA6 “care package.” It delivers a system for developing worthwhile habits and engagements that I found compelling and effective. I use the seven question system Michael teaches in my work as a guitar teacher, life coach, and musical collaborator. [source]
New York Times bestseller and named Best Marketing Book of 2014 by the American Marketing Association
What makes things popular? Why do people talk about certain products and ideas more than others? Why are some stories and rumors more infectious? And what makes online content go viral?
If you said advertising, think again. People don't listen to advertisements, they listen to their peers. But why do people talk about certain products and ideas more than others? Why are some stories and rumors more infectious? And what makes online content go viral?
Wharton marketing professor Jonah Berger has spent the last decade answering these questions. He's studied why New York Times articles make the paper's own Most E-mailed List, why products get word of mouth, and how social influence shapes everything from the cars we buy to the clothes we wear to the names we give our children. In this book, Berger reveals the secret science behind word-of-mouth and social transmission. Discover how six basic principles drive all sorts of things to become contagious, from consumer products and policy initiatives to workplace rumors and YouTube videos.
Contagious combines groundbreaking research with powerful stories. Learn how a luxury steakhouse found popularity through the lowly cheese-steak, why anti-drug commercials might have actually increased drug use, and why more than 200 million consumers shared a video about one of the seemingly most boring products there is: a blender. If you've wondered why certain stories get shared, e-mails get forwarded, or videos go viral, Contagious explains why, and shows how to leverage these concepts to craft contagious content. This book provides a set of specific, actionable techniques for helping information spread - for designing messages, advertisements, and information that people will share. Whether you're a manager at a big company, a small business owner trying to boost awareness, a politician running for office, or a health official trying to get the word out, Contagious will show you how to make your product or idea catch on.
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Recommended by Vinod Khosla, Vinod Khosla, Andrew Medal, and 10 others.
Andrew Medal
The world is #CONTAGIOUS ☢️☢️☢️ • • My dog and I love this book. I read to him when he wants to learn about marketing techniques. The last time I read this book was in 2013. If you want a read that dissects how and… https://t.co/6v0ckSnSQe [source]
Ee Ling Lim
Contagious by Jonah Berger is another interesting one for those trying to figure out how to market their business. In Contagious, Jonah identifies what makes some things go viral, and narrowed it down to 6 principles STEPPS: Social currency (content that makes people look good when they talk about it), Triggers (top of mind topics), Emotion (content that we care about, especially high arousal ones like anger, awe, excitement and humor), Public, Practical and Stories. [source]
Erik Cheong
Explains why certain products and ideas become popular while others fail. It reveals the secret science behind word-of-mouth and social transmission. Discover how six basic principles drive all sorts of things to become contagious, from consumer products and policy initiatives to workplace rumors and YouTube videos. [source]
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74
Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter
The New York Times bestseller that explains one of the most important perceptual shifts in the history of humankind
Scott Adams was one of the earliest public figures to predict Donald Trump's election. The mainstream media regarded Trump as a lucky clown, but Adams - best known as "the guy who created Dilbert" -- recognized a level of persuasion you only see once in a generation. We're hardwired to respond to emotion, not reason, and Trump knew exactly which emotional buttons to push.
The point isn't whether Trump was right or wrong, good or bad. Adams goes beyond politics to look at persuasion tools that can work in any setting--the same ones Adams saw in Steve Jobs when he invested in Apple decades ago. Win Bigly is a field guide for persuading others in any situation--or resisting the tactics of emotional persuasion when they're used on you.
This revised edition features a bonus chapter that assesses just how well Adams foresaw the outcomes of Trump's tactics with North Korea, the NFL protesters, Congress, and more.
@_KevinAGC Best book on writing persuasively: @ScottAdamsSays "Win Bigly" and @RobertCialdini "Influence". [source]
Aaron Watson
This one’s going to be controversial. Adams, the creator of Dilbert, was one of the first commentators to come out and predict that Trump would win the 2016 presidential election. How’d he do that? By viewing the world through his Persuasion Filter. This reframing of how humans interact, the world works, and why Trump won was fascinating. It’s already starting to influence the way that I write. Check it out. [source]
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75
Skill with People
Les Giblin
4.1
Are you having problems with the boss? Wishing you could be a better spouse? Not communicating well with your employees? Having trouble building business relationships? Or would you just like to improve your people skills and your ability to make strong, lasting impressions on the men and women you meet every day? The solution is Skill With People! Les Giblin's timeless classic has what you need to get on the fast track to success at home, at work, and in business. Communicate with impact. Influence with certainty. Listen with sensitivity. Skill With People shows you how! About the Author Les Giblin has conducted more than 1,000 Skill With People seminars for hundreds of companies and associations, including Mobil, General Electric, Johnson & Johnson, Caterpillar, Blyth Eastman Dillon, Retail Jewelers of America, PGA, National Association of Insurance Agents, plus hundreds of sales and marketing clubs and hundreds of top stores. Les Giblin was 1965 National Salesman of the Year. His book Skill With People has sold over 2,000,000 copies, while his other book, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People, has sold over 700,000 copies. He has authored three bestselling handbooks. Les Giblin's audiovisual programs are widely used. One association enrolled 5,000 people in his Skill With People seminar--another company put 7,000 people through his "Better Selling" program. Les Giblin's track record and his hundreds of thousands of enthusiastic seminar participants and readers attest to his effectiveness as a top teacher of skill with people.
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76
The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes
William Ury
4.1
No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us.
But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn.
This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests.
Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively.
In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities.
Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!
New York Times bestselling author Donald Miller uses the seven universal elements of powerful stories to teach readers how to dramatically improve how they connect with customers and grow their businesses.
Donald Miller’s StoryBrand process is a proven solution to the struggle business leaders face when talking about their businesses. This revolutionary method for connecting with customers provides readers with the ultimate competitive advantage, revealing the secret for helping their customers understand the compelling benefits of using their products, ideas, or services. Building a StoryBrand does this by teaching readers the seven universal story points all humans respond to; the real reason customers make purchases; how to simplify a brand message so people understand it; and how to create the most effective messaging for websites, brochures, and social media. Whether you are the marketing director of a multibillion dollar company, the owner of a small business, a politician running for office, or the lead singer of a rock band, Building a StoryBrand will forever transform the way you talk about who you are, what you do, and the unique value you bring to your customers.
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Recommended by Dave Ramsey, Nick Loper, Sa El, and 1 others.
Dave Ramsey recommended this book on his website. [source]
Nick Loper
I just finished Building a StoryBrand, and need to fill in the worksheets and re-think my homepage as a result. That's the mark of a good business book — homework! [source]
Sa El
This book is all about telling the story of your business to your customers to that they know exactly what you offer and how to make them the hero in the journey. If you want to build a smart site, with a strong call to action, this book is essential. [source]
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78
Metaphors We Live By
George Lakoff, Mark Johnson
4.0
The now-classic Metaphors We Live By changed our understanding of metaphor and its role in language and the mind. Metaphor, the authors explain, is a fundamental mechanism of mind, one that allows us to use what we know about our physical and social experience to provide understanding of countless other subjects. Because such metaphors structure our most basic understandings of our experience, they are "metaphors we live by", metaphors that can shape our perceptions and actions without our ever noticing them.
In this updated edition of Lakoff and Johnson's influential book, the authors supply an afterword surveying how their theory of metaphor has developed within the cognitive sciences to become central to the contemporary understanding of how we think and how we express our thoughts in language.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
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81
The Pyramid Principle: Logical Writing, Thinking and Problem Solving
Barbara Minto
4.0
The communication of ideas, whether to colleagues or clients, is one of the key factors in determining personal success. 'The Pyramid Principle' shows how to structure and present arguments so that they gain immediate understanding.
Recommended by Danielle Morrill, Patricia Reed, and 1 others.
Patricia Reed
The Minto Pyramid Principle: For would-be consultants, a (very dry) book on how to write effectively for business. [source]
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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills and Leave a Positive Impression!
Nationally recognized communication expert Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk--in any situation. Do you spend an abnormal amount of time hiding out in the bathroom or hanging out at the buffet table at social gatherings? Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger make your stomach do flip-flops? Do you sit nervously through job interviews waiting for the other person to speak? Are you a "Nervous Ned or Nellie" when it comes to networking? Then it's time you mastered The Fine Art of Small Talk. With practical advice and conversation "cheat sheets," The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss to an association event to a cocktail party where you don't know a soul.
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83
Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
Oren Jay Sofer
4.0
How to speak and listen more effectively--to communicate mindfully and improve all relationships--based on the author's unique synthesis of mindfulness practice combined with the principles of nonviolent communication.
Communication is hard. Here's a proven method that makes it not only considerably easier, but also much more effective for people on both sides of the conversation. Oren Sofer's method for effective communication is a unique combination of mindfulness with the modality called nonviolent communication (NVC), a method popular since the 1960s that is based on the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and resort to violence or behavior that harms others only when they don't recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. NVC provides those peaceful strategies. Oren's unique method for fostering peaceful--and effective--communication has three "steps" or components: (1) presence: bringing mindful awareness to the interaction, (2) intention: clarifying and setting a goal for the interaction, and (3) attention: learning to really hear and understand in a way that enables you to navigate the difficulties, express yourself clearly, and listen like it really matters--which it most certainly does. The steps are accompanied by many practical exercises, and in the course of this three-part training, readers will learn how to apply these skills to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family.
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The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over
From a former FBI Special Agent specializing in behavior analysis and recruiting spies comes a handbook filled with his proven strategies on how to instantly read people and influence how they perceive you, so you can easily turn on thelike switch.
The Like Switch is packed with all the tools you need for turning strangers into friends, whether you are on a sales call, a first date, or a job interview. As a Special Agent for the FBI’s National Security Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program, Dr. Jack Schafer developed dynamic and breakthrough strategies for profiling terrorists and detecting deception. Now, Dr. Schafer has evolved his proven-on-the-battlefield tactics for the day-to-day, but no less critical battle of getting people to like you.
In The Like Switch, he presents these techniques for how you can influence, attract, and win people over. Learn how to think and react like your favorite TV investigators from Criminal Minds or CSI as Dr. Schafer shows you how toimprove your LQ (Likeability Quotient), “spot the lie” both in person and online, master nonverbal cues that influence how people perceive you, and turn up or turn down the intensity of a relationship.
Dr. Schafer cracks the code on making great first impressions, building lasting relationships, and understanding others’ behavior to learn what they really think about you. With tips and techniques that hold the key to taking control of your communications, interactions, and relationships, The Like Switch shows you how to read others and get people to like you for a moment or a lifetime.
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85
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
Nicholas Boothman
4.0
Whether selling, managing, negotiating, planning, collaborating, pitching, instructing-or on your knees with a marriage proposal-the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. Now that connection is infinitely easier to make through Nicholas Boothman's program of rapport by design.How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is the work of a master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming whose career is teaching corporations and groups the secrets of successful face-to-face communication. Aimed at establishing rapport-that stage between meeting and communicating-How to Make People Like You focuses on the concept of synchrony. It shows how to synchronize attitude, synchronize body language, and synchronize voice tone so that you instantly and imperceptibly become someone the other person likes. Reinforcing these easy-to-learn skills is knowing how to read the other person's sensory preferences-most of us are visual, some are kinesthetic, and a minority are auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a visual person, you're really speaking his language. Along the way the book covers attitude, nervousness, words that open a conversation and words that shut it down, compliments, eye cues, the magic of opposites attracting, and more. It's how to make the best of the most important 90 seconds in any relationship, business or personal.
Derek Sivers recommended this book on the podcast "The Tim Ferriss Show". [source]
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86
The Elements of Eloquence: How to Turn the Perfect English Phrase
Mark Forsyth
4.0
The idiosyncratic, erudite and brilliantly funny new book from Mark Forsyth, bestselling author of The Etymologicon and The Horologicon.
In an age unhealthily obsessed with substance, this is a book on the importance of pure style.
From classic poetry to pop lyrics and from the King James Bible to advertising slogans, Mark Forsyth explains the secrets that make a phrase - such as ‘Tiger, tiger, burning bright’ or ‘To be or not to be’ - memorable.
In his inimitably entertaining and witty style he takes apart famous lines and shows how you too can write like Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde. Whether you’re aiming for literary immortality or just an unforgettable one-liner, The Elements of Eloquence proves that you don't need to have anything to say - you simply need to say it well.
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Recommended by Bill Liao.
Bill Liao
The human world occurs in language so best get good at it! [source]
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87
Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age
Sherry Turkle
4.0
Renowned media scholar Sherry Turkle investigates how a flight from conversation undermines our relationships, creativity, and productivity—and why reclaiming face-to-face conversation can help us regain lost ground.
We live in a technological universe in which we are always communicating. And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection.
Preeminent author and researcher Sherry Turkle has been studying digital culture for over thirty years. Long an enthusiast for its possibilities, here she investigates a troubling consequence: at work, at home, in politics, and in love, we find ways around conversation, tempted by the possibilities of a text or an email in which we don’t have to look, listen, or reveal ourselves.
We develop a taste for what mere connection offers. The dinner table falls silent as children compete with phones for their parents’ attention. Friends learn strategies to keep conversations going when only a few people are looking up from their phones. At work, we retreat to our screens although it is conversation at the water cooler that increases not only productivity but commitment to work. Online, we only want to share opinions that our followers will agree with – a politics that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of the public square.
The case for conversation begins with the necessary conversations of solitude and self-reflection. They are endangered: these days, always connected, we see loneliness as a problem that technology should solve. Afraid of being alone, we rely on other people to give us a sense of ourselves, and our capacity for empathy and relationship suffers. We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere: conversation is the cornerstone for democracy and in business it is good for the bottom line. In the private sphere, it builds empathy, friendship, love, learning, and productivity.
But there is good news: we are resilient. Conversation cures.
Based on five years of research and interviews in homes, schools, and the workplace, Turkle argues that we have come to a better understanding of where our technology can and cannot take us and that the time is right to reclaim conversation. The most human—and humanizing—thing that we do.
The virtues of person-to-person conversation are timeless, and our most basic technology, talk, responds to our modern challenges. We have everything we need to start, we have each other.
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88
The Back of the Napkin: Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures
Dan Roam
4.0
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89
Power Questions - Build Relationships, Win New Business and Influence Others
Andrew Sobel
4.0
An arsenal of powerful questions that will transform every conversation Skillfully redefine problems. Make an immediate connection with anyone. Rapidly determine if a client is ready to buy. Access the deepest dreams of others. Power Questions sets out a series of strategic questions that will help you win new business and dramatically deepen your professional and personal relationships. The book showcases thirty-five riveting, real conversations with CEOs, billionaires, clients, colleagues, and friends. Each story illustrates the extraordinary power and impact of a thought-provoking, incisive power question. To help readers navigate a variety of professional challenges, over 200 additional, thought-provoking questions are also summarized at the end of the book.
In Power Questions you'll discover:
The question that stopped an angry executive in his tracks The sales question CEOs expect you to ask versus the questions they want you to ask The question that will radically refocus any meeting The penetrating question that can transform a friend or colleague's life A simple question that helped restore a marriage When you use power questions, you magnify your professional and personal influence, create intimate connections with others, and drive to the true heart of the issue every time.
The classic book on statistical graphics, charts, tables. Theory and practice in the design of data graphics, 250 illustrations of the best (and a few of the worst) statistical graphics, with detailed analysis of how to display data for precise, effective, quick analysis. Design of the high-resolution displays, small multiples. Editing and improving graphics. The data-ink ratio. Time-series, relational graphics, data maps, multivariate designs. Detection of graphical deception: design variation vs. data variation. Sources of deception. Aesthetics and data graphical displays. This is the second edition of The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. Recently published, this new edition provides excellent color reproductions of the many graphics of William Playfair, adds color to other images, and includes all the changes and corrections accumulated during 17 printings of the first edition.
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Recommended by Bret Victor and Michael Okuda.
Michael Okuda
Edward Tufte's classic book, The Visual Display of Quantitative Information is a fascinating, surprisingly readable treatise for anyone interested in infographics. When I hired artists for the Star Trek graphics dept, I sometimes asked them to read it.https://t.co/cK4GQqBDxp [source]
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91
Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content
Ann Handley
4.0
"Everybody Writes" is a go-to guide to attracting and retaining customers through stellar online communication, because in our content-driven world, every one of us is, in fact, a writer.
In "Everybody Writes", top marketing veteran Ann Handley gives expert guidance and insight into the process and strategy of content creation, production and publishing, with actionable how-to advice designed to get results.
These lessons and rules apply across all of your online assets — like web pages, home page, landing pages, blogs, email, marketing offers, and on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other social media. Ann deconstructs the strategy and delivers a practical approach to create ridiculously compelling and competent content. It's designed to be the go-to guide for anyone creating or publishing any kind of online content — whether you're a big brand or you're small and solo.
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Recommended by Brian Clark, David Meerman Scott, Lee Odden, and 1 others.
Brian Clark
The alternate click-bait title of Ann’s great new book could have been 73 Ways to Improve Your Writing and Conquer the World! …and it would have been an understatement. We’re all publishers now, and the better writers connect, persuade, and win. Be one of them with this book. [source]
David Meerman Scott
Throw the others away because this is the only guide you need to elevate your content to the level of awesomeness! With wisdom and an infective wittiness, Ann shows you how to take your writing from awkward or awful to electric or elegant. She’s your favorite teacher, cracking you up while her tough love gets you to do the work to improve. Even though I’ve written 10 books, I still learned a great deal in these pages and now I’m eager to flex my newfound content creation muscles. [source]
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92
Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life
Paul Ekman Ph.D.
4.0
A renowned expert in nonverbal communication, Paul Ekman led a revolution in our scientific understanding of emotions. In Emotions Revealed, he assembles his research and theories to provide a comprehensive look at the evolutionary roots of human emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, disgust, and happiness.
Drawing on decades of fieldwork, Ekman shows that emotions are deeply embedded in the human species. In the process, he answers such questions as: What triggers emotions and can we stop them? How does our body signal to others whether we are slightly sad or anguished, peeved or enraged? Can we learn to distinguish between a polite smile and the genuine thing? Can we ever truly control our emotions? Unique exercises and photographs help readers identify emotions in themselves and others.
Emotions Revealed is a practical, mind-opening, and potentially life-changing exploration of science and self. c
Why is change so difficult and frightening? How do you create change when you have few resources and no title or authority to back you up? Chip and Dan Heath, the best-selling authors of Made to Stick, are back with a ground-breaking book that addresses one of the greatest challenges of our personal and professional lives — how to change things when change is hard.
In their follow-up book to the critically acclaimed international bestseller Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath talk about how difficult change is in our companies, our careers, and our lives, why change is so hard, and how we can overcome our resistance and make change happen. The Heaths liken the human mind to two distinct entities — the animal mind, or what psychologist Jonathan Haidt calls the elephant, and the logical brain, which Haidt describes as the rider. The elephant is instinctive; it acts on emotion. It likes gorging on Oreos and sleeping in. And it loves routines — doing things the same old way, every day.
The rider is the planner and thinker. The rider obsesses about the future. He or she wants to stop eating junk food and stop hitting the snooze button. But it’s hard, because when the rider and elephant disagree on where to go, the rider usually loses. And that describes the essential tension between our primitive emotional brain and our high intellect, and helps to explain why changing how we behave is so difficult. The secret to making a switch is understanding this odd couple relationship. Direct the Rider. Motivate the Elephant. Shape the Path.
Throughout Switch, Chip and Dan Heath illustrate and explain situations in which sweeping change was adopted, from a university researcher who ended the cycle of child abuse in a group of families, to an entrepreneur who turned his skeptical employees into customer service zealots and saved his company.
In the tradition of Made to Stick, Blink, and Outliers, Switch is filled with engaging and entertaining stories of how companies and individuals have brought about and sustained significant change. An indispensable guide to making change happen, it is certain to become a classic.
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Recommended by Africa Mentor, Richard H Thaler, Satya Patel, and 2 others.
Africa Mentor
6 fine summer reads | London Business School London Business School Review A good book is the best travel companion – wherever you are. By the pool or on your commute, be transported with these titles chos... https://t.co/Wo9NYOrwqG via @theafricamentor #entrepreneur #africabiz [source]
Tudor Mihailescu
First thing first, finance people need to be decent communicators, ideally awesome communicators. There is an art in building a case or in delivering a presentation and we need to treat this step as seriously as we have treated the other steps. I do believe this is a top priority for an aspiring or practicing CFO - There are plenty of books on this topic, I would recommend the works of Chip and Dan Health like Switch and Made to Stick [source]
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94
The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
The Arbinger Institute
4.0
NEW EDITION, REVISED AND UPDATED
Like Leadership and Self-Deception, The Arbinger Institute's first book, The Anatomy of Peace has become a worldwide phenomenon—not because of a media blitz, movie tie-in, or celebrity endorsement, but because readers have enthusiastically recommended it to colleagues, relatives, and friends.
The Anatomy of Peace asks, What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? What if we systematically misunderstand that cause? And what if, as a result, we unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
Through an intriguing story we learn how and why we contribute to the divisions and problems we blame on others and the surprising way that these problems can be solved. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down.
This second edition includes new sections enabling readers to go deeper into the book's key concepts; access to free digital study and discussion guides; and information about The Reconciliation Project, a highly successful global peace initiative based on concepts in The Anatomy of Peace.
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95
Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling
Edgar H. Schein
4.0
The Key to Effective Communication
Communication is essential in a healthy organization. But all too often when we interact with people—especially those who report to us—we simply tell them what we think they need to know. This shuts them down. To generate bold new ideas, to avoid disastrous mistakes, to develop agility and flexibility, we need to practice Humble Inquiry.
Ed Schein defines Humble Inquiry as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” In this seminal work, Schein contrasts Humble Inquiry with other kinds of inquiry, shows the benefits Humble Inquiry provides in many different settings, and offers advice on overcoming the cultural, organizational, and psychological barriers that keep us from practicing it.
A dynamic new cover heralds the reissue of this bestselling business classic, which Spencer Johnson, M.D., co-author of The One Minute Manager praised as "One of the most important communication books I've ever read. I recommend it highly!"
Recommended by Ev Williams, Tim O'Reilly, Ken Norton, and 7 others.
Tim O'Reilly
Founder/O'Reilly Media
Positioning, and The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Anyone who wants to start a business with impact needs to read these books. [source]
Marvin Liao
Partner/500 Startups
My list would be (besides the ones I mentioned in answer to the previous question) both business & Fiction/Sci-Fi and ones I personally found helpful to myself. The business books explain just exactly how business, work & investing are in reality & how to think properly & differentiate yourself. On the non-business side, a mix of History & classic fiction to understand people, philosophy to make sense of life and Science fiction to picture what the future could be like (not always utopian). [source]
This book is built around the brilliant insight that your prospect doesn't care nearly as much about what you do as you do, and thus you must boil down your offering into a unique slot that repositions the competition. [source]
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97
Propaganda
Edward Bernays
4.0
“Bernays’ honest and practical manual provides much insight into some of the most powerful and influential institutions of contemporary industrial state capitalist democracies.”—Noam Chomsky
“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.”—Edward Bernays, Propaganda
A seminal and controversial figure in the history of political thought and public relations, Edward Bernays (1891–1995), pioneered the scientific technique of shaping and manipulating public opinion, which he famously dubbed “engineering of consent.” During World War I, he was an integral part of the U.S. Committee on Public Information (CPI), a powerful propaganda apparatus that was mobilized to package, advertise and sell the war to the American people as one that would “Make the World Safe for Democracy.” The CPI would become the blueprint in which marketing strategies for future wars would be based upon.
Bernays applied the techniques he had learned in the CPI and, incorporating some of the ideas of Walter Lipmann, became an outspoken proponent of propaganda as a tool for democratic and corporate manipulation of the population. His 1928 bombshell Propaganda lays out his eerily prescient vision for using propaganda to regiment the collective mind in a variety of areas, including government, politics, art, science and education. To read this book today is to frightfully comprehend what our contemporary institutions of government and business have become in regards to organized manipulation of the masses.
This is the first reprint of Propaganda in over 30 years and features an introduction by Mark Crispin Miller, author of The Bush Dyslexicon: Observations on a National Disorder.
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Recommended by Cynthia Johnson, Dave Elitch, and Jérôme Jarre.
Cynthia Johnson
What people don’t realise is that PR was originally called ‘propaganda.’ After World War II, that word had such negative connotations that they changed it to public relations, but PR and propaganda are one and the same. This book offers a really interesting breakdown of how little has changed in, almost, 100 years. [source]
Dave Elitch
The author was Sigmund Freud’s nephew. He took all of Freud’s theories on the subconscious and came to the conclusion that human beings are either savage animals that are going to rip each other apart, or they can be controlled and made docile via consumerism. [source]
Jérôme Jarre
This book opened my eyes to the marketing industry in a time when I was blindly playing my role in it. [source]
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98
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships
Daniel Goleman
4.0
Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.
Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.
Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.
Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?
The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Recommended by Corneliu Bodea.
Corneliu Bodea
This book is the key to understand the way societies reacts and why. [source]
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99
Mother Night
Kurt Vonnegut
4.0
Librarian note: Alternate cover edition for this ISBN can be found here.
Mother Night is a daring challenge to our moral sense. American Howard W. Campbell, Jr., a spy during World War II, is now on trial in Israel as a Nazi war criminal. But is he really guilty? In this brilliant book rife with true gallows humor, Vonnegut turns black and white into a chilling shade of gray with a verdict that will haunt us all.
Derek Sivers recommended this book in the book "Tools of Titans". [source]
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100
The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person's Guide to Writing in the 21st Century
Steven Pinker
4.0
A short and entertaining book on the modern art of writing well by New York Times bestselling author Steven Pinker Why is so much writing so bad, and how can we make it better? Is the English language being corrupted by texting and social media? Do the kids today even care about good writing? Why should any of us care?
In The Sense of Style, the bestselling linguist and cognitive scientist Steven Pinker answers these questions and more. Rethinking the usage guide for the twenty-first century, Pinker doesn’t carp about the decline of language or recycle pet peeves from the rulebooks of a century ago. Instead, he applies insights from the sciences of language and mind to the challenge of crafting clear, coherent, and stylish prose.
In this short, cheerful, and eminently practical book, Pinker shows how writing depends on imagination, empathy, coherence, grammatical knowhow, and an ability to savor and reverse engineer the good prose of others. He replaces dogma about usage with reason and evidence, allowing writers and editors to apply the guidelines judiciously, rather than robotically, being mindful of what they are designed to accomplish.
Filled with examples of great and gruesome prose, Pinker shows us how the art of writing can be a form of pleasurable mastery and a fascinating intellectual topic in its own right.