This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Are you trying to develop a culture of radical candor? What goes into building trusting relationships and why is it important for candor?
Building trusting relationships is an essential first step to creating a workplace that is radically candid. If people feel safe and seen at work, the feedback is easier to give and receive and collaboration is more effective.
Keep reading for tips on building trusting relationships at work.
Building Trusting Relationships
One of the first steps toward creating a radically candid workplace is showing your team members that you personally care about them, which naturally contributes to building trusting relationships. This practice might feel a little “soft” for the workplace, but it’s not a waste—when you build trusting relationships with your team and let them bring their whole selves to work, you give shape and meaning to the work you do together. This motivates and engages your employees, driving them to accomplish much more than you could as a closed-off, disconnected team.
This step will take a good deal of time and effort on your part—solid relationships can’t be forced. Rather, they’re developed slowly through repeated, meaningful demonstrations of practicing self-care, giving your team autonomy, and respecting boundaries. First, we’ll explore how practicing self-care can help you show up to work in a way that opens up opportunities for relationship-building. Then, we’ll discuss building trust by giving your team autonomy, and by respecting their boundaries when asking them to share about themselves.
Practicing Self-Care
Self-care is vitally important to creating opportunities for building trusting relationships, because it allows you to bring your best self to work. This is important for several reasons. First, it’s very difficult to correctly deal with tough situations when you’re not at your best. As a leader, your job is to avoid becoming overwhelmed by the situations you’re faced with—however, if you’re stressed at work and stressed at home, your problems will exacerbate one another. Tough work situations become insurmountable, or you may snap at someone who doesn’t deserve it. Second, it’s hard to care personally about other people when you’re caught up in your own issues—and personal care is crucial to radically candid relationships.
There are three ways that you can maintain your self-care: integrating your work and life, finding and practicing your self-care method, and scheduling self-care time.
Integrate Your Work and Life to Help With Building Trusting Relationships
Don’t think of your two lives separately, as a work-life balance. This implies that energy that’s put into your work is sapped from your life, and vice versa. Instead, think more in terms of integrating the two—you bring your whole self to work, and your whole self goes home at the end of the day. For example, if staying centered requires that you spend 30 minutes meditating every morning, this isn’t time that’s “taken away” from your focus on work. It allows you to bring a more grounded self to work. Likewise, if you feel excited and energized about a work project, feel free to talk about it at home and share your vision with your spouse.
Integrating your work life and personal life ensures that they enrich one another, instead of working against each other for your attention and time. If you’re building trusting relationships, they need to be based on who you are completely and not just at work.
Find and Practice Your Self-Care Method
It’s important to find your own self-care method—what is helpful and meaningful for one of your colleagues may do nothing at all for you. Self-care can look like mediation or exercise, or can be grounded in spending time with your spouse, getting drinks with friends, or going on vacation with your family.
Whatever your self-care method is, it should be prioritized when you’re faced with tough situations—but you need to check in and make sure it’s not your highest priority. For example, if you’re tasked with laying off several members of your team, it’s okay to have a weekend getaway for some space to think. It’s not okay to abandon work commitments for a last-minute 4-day weekend, or to distract yourself from the task by shopping around for flights and hotels while you’re on the clock.
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Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Kim Scott's "Radical Candor" at Shortform .
Here's what you'll find in our full Radical Candor summary :
- How you have to be direct with people while also caring sincerely for them
- Why relationships are an essential part of successful leadership
- How to create a strong team culture that delivers better results
