Darya Sinusoid, Author at Shortform Books

Arousal Non-Concordance: What It Is & Why It Happens

What is arousal non-concordance? Is arousal always accompanied by a genital response? Arousal non-concordance is the mismatch between what our brains identify as sex-related and what we actually find appealing. To demonstrate with an example, imagine you’re watching a sex scene in a movie. The scene doesn’t appeal to you because you don’t think the actors are attractive. Despite this, you find yourself becoming physically aroused at the sight of sex on the screen. Here is why non-concordance happens and what to do about it.

How to Tell Someone an Uncomfortable Truth

Have you ever had to tell someone an uncomfortable truth? What was their reaction? What do you think is the best way to get someone to confront a hard-to-hear truth about themselves? Most people go about telling one another hard-to-hear truths in the wrong way—by saying the truth outright. But this approach often leads to defensiveness and breakdown of communication. If you want someone to confront an uncomfortable truth, don’t tell them directly—lead them to discover it themselves. Here is how to force someone to confront an uncomfortable truth without telling them outright.

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski: Review & Impact

Is Emily Nagoski’s book Come as You Are worth reading? How does modern culture repress female sexuality? Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski explores women’s sexuality using scientific research and the author’s years of experience as a sex educator. Nagoski decided to write the book to change the negative way that many women talk, think, and feel about themselves due to harmful cultural messaging that encourages self-criticism and perpetuates misinformation about what constitutes “normal” sexuality. Here is our review of Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski.

Sexual Personality: Understanding SES and SIS

What determines your sexual personality? Why do different people seem to have different levels of sexual desire? Are some people biologically wired to want more sex? Although everyone is born with the same brain mechanism that controls sexual response, certain aspects are distinct to each person. According to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, these differences produce unique sexual personalities that determine our individual sexual needs, such as what it takes to turn us on. In this article, we’ll explore the two-system mechanism in our brain that determines our sexual personality, including what it is, how it works, and how it varies

Responsiveness: The Key to Strong Client Relationships

Why are client relationships important for a business’s success? What’s the key to building strong, trusting client relationships? Good client relationships are crucial for every service business’ success. Giving your clients canned responses creates an unsatisfying and impersonal experience. If you want to deepen relationships with your clients, treat them with responsiveness. Here is why responsiveness is the key to building strong client relationships.

How to Generate Self-Insight: Risk Failure

What is self-insight? How can you prompt self-insight on demand? Self-insight is your metacognitive understanding of your psyche and behavior (your thoughts, feelings, motivations, etc.). According to Chip and Dan Heath, the authors of The Power of Moments, the best way to gain self-insight is to put yourself in situations that expose you to the possibility of failure. Keep reading to learn how risking failure translates into valuable self-insight.

Your Brain During an Orgasm: Behind the Scenes

What happens in your brain during an orgasm? Does the brain even register orgasms? There is a common misconception that orgasms are primarily a genital response. In reality, orgasms are really about what happens inside the brain. Keep reading to learn about your brain and orgasms.

Understanding Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire

What is the difference between spontaneous vs. responsive desire? Why are some people spontaneous and others responsive? Spontaneous desire is the immediate desire evoked by a sexual stimulus. Responsive desire is the desire evoked by physical stimulation like kissing or touching. According to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, spontaneous desire doesn’t equate to more interest in sex, nor does responsive desire equate to less interest in sex. These terms simply describe how different people come to experience desire, and this can change from context to context, or even over time. Sex researcher Emily Nagoski explains why some people turned on more

Deepening Relationships With Responsiveness

How do you establish a stronger connection in a relationship? What’s the key to deepening a relationship? Contrary to what you might think, relationships do not naturally deepen or grow stronger over time. Without regular maintenance, relationships easily plateau—they won’t develop any further without a bit of engineering. A properly maintained relationship has positive peaks that serve as the defining moments that deepen the relationship. Keep reading to learn about the key ingredient of a strong relationship.

Here Is Why Women Have Difficulty Having an Orgasm

Why do women have such difficulty having an orgasm? Is the problem anatomical or psychological in its nature? Research shows that men are almost 30% more likely to orgasm than women. According to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, women’s difficulty reaching an orgasm stems from the overactivation of the sexual inhibition system (SIS) due to negative emotions such as stress and shame. Here is why women have difficulty having an orgasm and what they can do to have better and more frequent orgasms.