This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Pathless Path" by Paul Millerd. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Have you experienced trauma? How might you turn it into something of value?
Paul Millerd embarked on a conventional career path by default. Two difficult events taught him one major lesson: stop prioritizing work, and start prioritizing life. He considers the shift he made to be an example of post-traumatic growth.
Continue reading to be inspired by Millerd’s story.
Millerd’s Change in Priorities
Post-traumatic growth happens when a crisis impels you to reconsider your values and make positive life changes. Millerd’s inspiring story is an example of post-traumatic growth.
Millerd explains that, because his parents followed traditional career paths, he assumed that he would, too. In college, he joined the honors program, and the friends he made in that program taught him to prioritize the appearance of success over meaningful college experiences. He wanted to become part of the elite (recall that succeeding at political games opens countless doors), so he avoided challenging classes and internships in favor of easy experiences, like classes he knew he’d ace, that he could use to pad his resume.
(Shortform note: The pressure to appear successful often begins with the college application process—many high school students believe they won’t get into top schools unless they meet unreasonable expectations regarding their academic success and extracurricular activities. Once they get into college, the pressure to perform continues, with many college students reporting that their desire to appear successful negatively affects their mental health. The pressure to become the best of the best may be linked to the pedigree effect (the fact that elite workplaces mainly hire graduates from the most elite colleges): Failing to excel at any point along the way may harm your ability to get a high-earning job.)
In the traditional workforce, Millerd vied for the top. He pursued a career in strategy consulting (advising businesses about their business strategies) because it was an elite profession: It paid six figures a year and earned respect. He landed jobs at prestigious businesses but left them quickly because they didn’t satisfy him. It was a normal part of the work culture at these businesses to dream about continuing to move up the ladder, which reinforced Millerd’s desire to accomplish better and better things—as a result, he decided to go to a top business school and keep climbing the corporate ladder.
(Shortform note: Millerd explains that despite his accomplishments during his traditional career, he was never satisfied and always felt driven to achieve more. Psychologists note that this kind of perfectionism can result from American culture’s emphasis on competitiveness, and it can have seriously negative consequences: For example, it can exacerbate self-esteem issues, result in exhaustion, and even lead to an early death. To tame your perfectionism, experts recommend taking stock of the ways it’s hurting you, setting more realistic goals, and creating healthy limits that help you know when enough’s enough.)
Why Millerd’s Priorities Changed
Millerd’s priorities changed because he had two painful experiences that caused him to question his values. The first was the death of his grandfather, whom he was close to, a month before Millerd started business school. While visiting his grandfather on his deathbed, Millerd realized his mind was still on his job—and it bothered him that work was taking precedence over one of the most important relationships of his life. This made him approach business school differently—he decided to prioritize his relationships over his classes, and his grades suffered for it.
As a result of this change in priorities, he didn’t get any of the elite job offers he’d hoped for—even his old job wouldn’t hire him back—and he ended up joining a more humble consulting business. Then, his second painful experience occurred: Immediately after he started there, he came down with a debilitating case of Lyme disease, and he had to take several months away from work. His identity was still fully wrapped up in his career, so he was desperate to return to work and keep achieving. However, that gradually began to change—he started blogging about his illness to cope and discovered that he enjoyed writing. A friend also helped him realize people would still love him even if he didn’t succeed in a traditional career.
Millerd says that, when he finally became healthy enough to return to work, he found it more disagreeable than he expected—he was more interested in personal fulfillment than in the work itself. Upon reflection, he realized that while work used to be the most important thing to him, he now valued spending time with loved ones, taking care of his health, and enjoying life over excelling in his career. He attributes this to a process called “post-traumatic growth,” where a crisis impels you to reconsider your values and make positive life changes.
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Here's what you'll find in our full The Pathless Path summary:
- How to take a non-traditional approach to career success through freelancing
- Why Americans prioritize work and the disadvantages of this lifestyle
- One man's inspiring story of shifting from the workforce to freelancing
