This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Hidden Potential" by Adam Grant. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Why is guidance important to reach your goals? How can you ask for guidance from someone who’s been in your position?
Adam Grant notes that your ability to teach yourself has limits. Often, you’ll need guidance from others, especially if you’re trying to learn to do something complex where “success” is subjective, like composing a symphony or starting a political career.
Check out how to ask for guidance from someone you trust.
The Power of Guidance
To ask for guidance from someone who will actually help you, choose your guides carefully. Find someone who knows what they’re talking about, is familiar enough with you and your work to give an accurate assessment, and truly wants you to succeed. Otherwise, you could end up with bad advice, advice that doesn’t fit you, or advice that isn’t intended to be helpful.
(Shortform note: Those who give unwise, unsuitable, or malicious advice may be particularly dangerous for people with codependent tendencies. In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie explains that people who are prone to codependency (that is, people who become obsessed with those around them and lose touch with themselves) consistently fail to trust their own judgment. As a result, they often fall into the trap of blindly trusting others to make decisions for them. If you have codependent tendencies, it’s especially important to second-guess those who tell you they know what’s good for you. Additionally, learn to trust yourself by reflecting on times in your life when you made good decisions.)
How to Ask for Guidance
The way you solicit advice matters, too, writes Grant. Don’t just ask people for general critiques. Most will either give you vague praise to spare your feelings or crush your spirit by bluntly telling you everything they dislike about your work. Instead, ask them to tell you what, specifically, you can do better. This simple request will focus the advice you receive into constructive feedback you can use to improve.
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Here's what you'll find in our full Hidden Potential summary:
- Why you should practice skills in a way that’s both fun and uncomfortable
- Three ways to tap into your potential by connecting with the right people
- What organizations can do to achieve more on a larger scale
