Communication Archives

The Best Negotiation Questions in an Interrogation

What questions should you ask in a negotiation to get the information you need from your counterpart? Should you ask “why” questions? According to Chriss Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, the best questions to ask your counterpart during negotiation are open-ended “how” or “what” questions. Unlike the accusatory “why” questions, these questions lead them along to the conclusion that you want them to reach—all the while convincing them that your desired solution is their idea. Keep reading to learn about the power of open-ended negotiation questions, why they work, and how to use them to your advantage.

The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them

Mastering the Art of Giving Feedback in the Workplace

What constitutes effective feedback? How can you ensure that your feedback is acted upon? According to Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, the authors of Thanks for the Feedback, there are just two elements of feedback: 1) the looking-back element, and 2) the looking-forward element. To ensure your feedback is taken on board, make sure that the receiver understands both parts. Here is how to structure feedback to ensure both the giver and the receiver are on the same page.

Sexual Infidelity: Why Do People Cheat?

Why do people cheat in relationships? Do you think a relationship can still work after one of the partners cheated on the other? People are unfaithful for many disparate reasons, ranging from revenge to healing. However, according to couples therapist Esther Perel, unfaithfulness doesn’t necessarily mean that a relationship has deeper problems. Lots of cheaters are happy with their relationships. In this article, we’ll explore why people in monogamous relationships cheat, and how to handle the possibility of sexual infidelity that exists in every relationship.

How to Interpret Feedback: Drop Your Ego

Are you sensitive to feedback? What do you think is behind your reaction? According to communication experts Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, how we think about and interpret feedback has a lot to do with the stories we tell ourselves. If the feedback challenges their story, people tend to become defensive or reject the insight. In this article, we’ll discuss why some people find it difficult to receive feedback, and how to interpret feedback more objectively.

The Role of Attitude in Conflict Resolution

How do you approach conflict? Are you the kind of person who resolves conflicts peacefully or drags them out? Your attitude in conflictual situations plays a crucial role in the final outcomes. According to the Arbinger Institute—a leading consultant in conflict resolution, mindset change, and leadership training since 1979—a person who finds themselves in constant conflict embodies what they call a “combative mindset”—a conflict attitude characterized by self-focused viewpoints that lead them to worsen conflict instead of cooperating to resolve it. In this article, we’ll examine the combative mindset, how it makes conflict worse, and the biases that lead people

The Ultimate Guide to Feedback in the Workplace

Do you have a feedback system at your organization? Do you feel like your employees take on the feedback provided by senior management? There’s no such thing as a perfect feedback system for any given organization. Every system will have tradeoffs. It will work well for some, be adequate for others, and be poorly suited to still others. There are some things you can do, though, to give your chosen system the best shot at success. In this article, we’ll examine these techniques through three perspectives: 1) senior leadership and HR, 2) team leaders and coaches, and 3) receivers.

Intent Versus Impact: Understanding Microaggressions

What are microaggressions? Why do authors Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff believe that excessive focus on perceived microaggressions can lead to a negative feedback loop? In their book The Coddling of the American Mind, co-authors Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff say that the focus on microaggressions is unhealthy because oftentimes, the aggressive behavior is perceived when no intentional slight was actually made. The authors claim that many reactions to perceived insults are taken too far, especially when they lead to de-platforming. Keep reading to learn what Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff have to say about the intent versus impact of

Effective Team Communication: Make It Brief & Early

What is effective team communication in the leader-leader model? How can leaders communicate without controlling? Submarine captain David Marquet found that brief and early conversations with his crew at all levels were the key to effective team communication. Ultimately these conversations saved time, prevented mistakes, and focused efforts on the right objectives. Read more to learn this method of effective team communication.

Why Sexual Equality Doesn’t Apply to Sex

Think and Grow Rich: Sexual Transmutation Demystified

Are egalitarianism and sexual desire mutually exclusive? How do they contradict each other? How can we foster sexual equality when the act of sex itself is a power play? According to Esther Perel, the author of Mating in Captivity, egalitarianism and sexual desire are inherently at odds with each other. Egalitarianism is all about fairness and respect, while sexual desire is driven by aggression and power play. However, this doesn’t mean that egalitarianism and desire have to be a balancing act. Here’s what couples therapist Esther Perel has to say about sexual equality.

Causes of Interpersonal Conflict: Why Do We Fight?

What do you think causes interpersonal conflict at a high level? What makes trivial conflicts escalate into full-blown arguments? We all struggle with conflicts, both on a smaller scale—in our businesses and families—and on a grand scale—politically and intergovernmentally. Of course, the causes of interpersonal conflict are varied and wide-ranging. At a high level, however, many of them can all be boiled down to our inability to recognize and acknowledge that we are part of the problem. In this article, we’ll discuss what causes conflict, according to a leading consultant in conflict resolution the Arbinger Institute.