This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Way Of The Superior Man" by David Deida. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
Like this article? Sign up for a free trial here.
What is the energy of attraction? Why shouldn’t you get distracted by your superficial desires? Why would men embrace feminine energy?
In his book The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida spends time discussing the energy of attraction. He discusses the importance of embracing your attraction to feminine energy and the dangers of repressing it in the determination to be masculine.
Continue below for advice on channeling and embracing the energy of attraction from David Deida.
Channel the Energy of Attraction
Attraction is crucial to living your purpose, both within your relationship and outside of it. In this section, we’ll discuss the rejuvenating energy of attraction, what women have to offer you, and how to choose the right woman for you.
Embrace Your Attraction and Inhale It
As a masculine man, your attraction to the feminine is natural and inevitable. What attracts you to women is more than their outward beauty; it’s their radiance, their liveliness, and their freedom.
When we learn that our attraction to the feminine is unacceptable or evil, we learn to deny and suppress our masculine energy.
There’s more in the world that’s feminine than just women; nature, beer, music—anything beautiful, energetic, moving, and relaxing embodies the feminine essence. Even now, you’re floating in an ocean of feminine energy. It’s life in all forms; the breath in your lungs, the beating of your heart in your chest, the breeze in the trees, and the vibrancy of nature.
When you reject feminine energy, you become tired, dried out, and lonely; you begin to complain that life is not fulfilling and that there are no good women.
The Superior Man embraces his attraction to all that is feminine, allowing it to fuel his energy and his drive. He uses it to revitalize his masculine core.
Understand that sexual attraction is not the same as having sex. Being attracted to the radiance of a woman is always okay, but having sex with her may not be. The choice to get intimate with a woman requires an exploration of whether doing so will genuinely serve you both well. Any intimacy needs to come from a shared commitment to loving and serving each other, and if that isn’t there, intimacy isn’t appropriate.
What to Do:
Your desire for the feminine is an embodiment of your internal impulse to give love; don’t suppress it. It’s a feeling that rises out of a desire to live, to be a united One, and to be free in your spirit.
When you feel the zing of attraction, allow yourself to experience it fully. Don’t stare or interact with the woman who triggered it in you; just enjoy the gift of her feminine essence. Let the energy of your attraction flow through you and fill you. Don’t get caught up in feeling that you need to do something about it; you don’t. Let it be what it is, and take it as a blessing.
Reconnect with the feminine energy of the world by imagining the moment as a physical woman. Feel the way her breasts and belly press against you, and breathe in her scent and essence, as if they were feeding your soul and revitalizing your energy. Relax your body and feel her form in your surroundings, her laughter and moans in the sounds you hear, and her smile in the light. With full intention and presence, relax into the moment as you would relax into the embrace of a lover.
Let Your Attraction Connect You to Your Core
No woman is immortal, and no woman will ever fully satisfy you. This is not their fault; women are to be cherished, not blamed. Instead of clinging to your desire for her body, your excitement for sex, and your need for her love, use your attraction as a means of fully experiencing your existence.
The beauty you see in her is a mirage that leads you into a cycle of desire and need with no fully satisfying end. Even the joy of sex is temporary. When a woman rejects you, when your body fails to give you pleasure, when your dog doesn’t obey you, you’re unhappy. Even when you do get what you want, you’re just less unhappy.
That unhappiness melts away most in the moments in which you simply exist. When you’re driving in your car, letting the trees glide by, when you’re deep asleep, when you spend a day fishing, or a moment gazing into the eyes of an infant, and all else falls away.
This total serenity is always within you. The cycle of attraction, desire, and need has arisen because you’re searching outside of yourself for the peace that only exists inside. Your need for women comes from your spiritual desire for one-ness, for completeness, for the state of being whole.
The Superior Man isn’t distracted by superficial desires—he allows the strength of his desires to lead him to the strength at his core.
What to Do:
You can use your desire to reach this one-ness.
Women can bring you closer to it or take you further away, so magnify your desire. Reach for them. Take your woman in your arms and fill yourself with your desire. Fill her with your desire. Give her everything you want from her, the entirety of your desperate need to be whole, and feel through her, through the world, and into the core of endless love beyond.
Your woman is yourself. All that is conscious is you, and you are all that is conscious. Everything you’re attracted to, everything you desire, and everything you need is a distraction that prevents you from recognizing that you already have it within you.
Your capacity to love, to give love, and to receive love comes from your core, which is love. You are love; embrace that and allow yourself to be it.
———End of Preview———
Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of David Deida's "The Way Of The Superior Man" at Shortform.
Here's what you'll find in our full The Way Of The Superior Man summary:
- How to reclaim the passion in your relationship and enjoy true intimacy
- Why authenticity is the first key in becoming a superior man
- Why you should embrace your sexual polarity