This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "Influence" by Robert B. Cialdini. Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading.
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Have you ever thought that someone was trying to trick you? Could you tell they were using persuasion tactics to convince you? Do you know how to avoid being manipulated?
Compliance practitioners are professional persuaders. They are able to manipulate you into agreeing even if you are trying to avoid manipulation. For each of the six principles of persuasion, there are key strategies to learn if you want to know how to avoid being manipulated.
Avoid Manipulation by Compliance Practitioners
While our fixed-action patterns are usually an asset for us in everyday life, they are easily manipulated and exploited by compliance practitioners. These are professional persuaders, people whose job it is to get you to say “yes” to whatever it is they’re offering. But don’t get tricked. You can avoid manipulation.
Most compliance practitioners use six psychological principles of persuasion:
- Reciprocity
- Commitment/Consistency
- Social proof
- Liking
- Authority
- Scarcity
How to Avoid Being Manipulated by Reciprocity
Compliance practitioners know that you’re more likely to feel obliged to them if they present you some small gift or token gesture of kindness before they make their request. Or they’ll ask for an initially ludicrous request that you’ll reject, only to present you with a second, smaller request. This rejection-then-retreat tactic is designed to lull you into making a reciprocal concession by giving in to their second ask.
To avoid manipulation using this kind of reciprocity, you have to distinguish between people who are engaging in genuine acts of kindness and those who are simply trying to trick you into doing something for them. You are socially obligated to return a genuine favor with another favor: you’re not obligated to return a trick with a favor.
How to Avoid Being Manipulated by Commitment/Consistency
Consistency and commitment can also be exploited. Our desire for internal consistency can turn even a small commitment into larger and larger ones.
You can feel it intuitively when you’re being asked to do something you don’t want to do. The key to fighting back is spotting these situations quickly. Otherwise the compliance professional will corner you with your own commitment. You should then turn the table on the compliance practitioner. Tell them that you’re onto them and you know exactly what they’re trying to do. Don’t get tricked. Make decisions for a reason: don’t make reasons for a decision.
How to Avoid Being Manipulated by Social Proof
Social proof can also be faked or manufactured, however, or used for self-serving purposes by compliance practitioners. It’s why so many product advertisements talk about being the “fastest-growing” or “highest-selling”: the marketers want to convince you that there’s a groundswell of demand for the product from others. Don’t get tricked by these tactics.
To understand how to resist manipulation, you need to look closer at group behavior. Is there a reason to do something, beyond just the fact that everyone else is doing it? Don’t be like a pilot who flies by relying solely on her instruments. You also need to actually see the sky in front of you. Sometimes you do need to look critically at the world around you, take the time to assess situations, think for yourself, and apply your own individual judgment.
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Here's what you'll find in our full Influence summary :
- How professional manipulators use your psychology against you
- The six key biases you need to be aware of
- How learning your own biases will help you beat the con men around you
