This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading.
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Overview of Law #36: Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them Is the Best Revenge
Sometimes it’s better to ignore things. You’ll make small problems worse, make yourself look bad, and give your enemy attention he doesn’t deserve if you respond to a minor provocation. By not showing interest, you maintain your superiority.
Principles of Law 36
According to Law 36 of the 48 Laws of Power, When faced with an irritating, but minor offense, sometimes the best course is to ignore it. Not responding can be a demonstration of power — a message that it’s not worth your interest.
Also, you avoid wasting time, becoming mired in someone else’s mess, or drawing attention to someone or something that will fade away on its own.
Ignoring people who thrive on your attention is an effective power tactic. You cancel them out by withdrawing your attention, which may anger them but there’s nothing they can do since you’re not dealing with them. Meanwhile, you maintain your superiority. This is why you should disdain things you cannot have.
Conversely, paying undue attention to a minor opponent gives them greater importance and makes you look petty, especially if they draw you into an extended conflict. President Kennedy helped make Fidel Castro a hero with his failed Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba in 1961.
When you attack a small irritant you also run the risk of creating sympathy for the offender. Again, leaving it alone can be the best policy. This also applies to mistakes or problems — trying to fix them calls attention to them and often makes them worse.
Here’s how to execute a strategy of disdaining things you cannot have.
- If you want something but can’t get it, don’t draw attention to it by complaining. Act as if you weren’t interested in the first place.
- If you’re attacked by an inferior (or make a mistake yourself), act as though you didn’t notice it.
- If you’re caught in a mistake, don’t respond defensively or you’ll make things worse. Own up to it but put a different spin on it, and it could work in your favor.
- When Renaissance writer Aretino was discovered to have lied about being an aristocrat, he responded that he was indeed the son of a shoemaker — but that this humble beginning made his achievements all the more impressive.
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- Why you should never outshine your boss
- How to appear like a friend but behave like a spy
- The 6 rules you absolutely must not violate, if you want to be successful
