Psychology Archives

How to Handle Unconscious Desires by Practicing Existential Kink

Why do unconscious desires create negative patterns? What’s an existential kink? According to Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, people tend to repress desires that they’re ashamed of. But, repressing desires doesn’t get rid of them; they just turn into negative habits. Ironically, the only way to destroy these habits is to fully embrace the desires behind them. Keep reading to learn how unconscious desires manifest and to find the number one solution to dissolving them.

How Myside Bias Fuels Irrationality & an “Us vs. Them” Mentality

Which do you value more—the truth or fitting in? Do you allow your group’s beliefs to trump your better judgment? Most people agree on the importance of rational thinking and behavior. Still, irrationality is rampant. Steven Pinker explores why people hold irrational beliefs such as paranormal phenomena or conspiracy theories in his book Rationality. He identifies myside bias as one of the culprits. Read more to learn about this all-too-common tendency that impacts individuals and society as a whole.

Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink: Book Overview & Takeaways

What are your deepest desires? Are you even in touch with them? How can you take control of your life by taking control of your desires? We all have negative patterns we see playing out again and again in our lives. In Existential Kink, writer and teacher Carolyn Elliott argues that the negative patterns in our lives are manifestations of what we unconsciously desire. Read below for a brief Existential Kink book overview.

Rational Compassion: Paul Bloom’s Alternative to Empathy

What should be the basis for how you behave? Why isn’t empathy the best guide? If we want to be kind and moral people, it seems obvious that we should practice empathy. But, psychologist Paul Bloom suggests that we should cultivate a rational form of compassion instead and use this more measured and distanced approach to make decisions that are better for everyone involved. Continue reading to learn about Bloom’s concept of rational compassion.

How to Be a Moral Person: Rethinking Empathy’s Role in Morality

Do we need empathy to understand and practice morality? What should guide our moral decisions? In Against Empathy, psychologist Paul Bloom argues that we rely too heavily on our emotions—especially empathy—to guide our judgments, decisions, and behavior. He suggests that our empathic responses to other people can lead us away from the morally good and right course of action. Read more to learn how to be a moral person by putting empathy in what Bloom believes is its proper place.

How to Understand and Embrace Your Guilty Pleasures

Do you have any guilty pleasures you’re ashamed of? Why is embracing your guilty pleasures with existential kink the best way to combat them? The premise of existential kink is that the negative patterns—of feelings, behaviors, and so on—we see recurring in our lives are the manifestations of our unconscious desires. The only way to eliminate our negative patterns is to acknowledge, embrace, and take conscious pleasure in our guilty pleasures. Below, we’ll dive into the principles of existential kink to better understand how to embrace your guilty pleasures.

Fear of Wasting Time: How Doing Less Makes Us More Anxious

How valuable is your time? Does the “time is money” mentality make you anxious? In her book Do Nothing, Celeste Headlee writes that, for many people, time feels scarce and too valuable to squander. She argues that the modern pressure to constantly be productive stems, in part, from changing perceptions of how valuable one’s time is. Keep reading to learn about the fear of wasting time and where it comes from.

The Downside of Empathy: 5 Ways It Harms More Than Helps

When is kindness not in harmony with morality? Why is empathy unsustainable? Yale psychologist Paul Bloom makes a case against empathy—specifically, emotional empathy. He argues that emotional empathy reinforces our biases, motivates actions that are kind but morally wrong, prioritizes individuals over groups, wears us out, and even motivates violence. Continue reading to learn about the downside of empathy.

How to Use Empathetic Parenting to Meet 3 Big Challenges

Do your children ever throw tantrums? Do they fight with each other? Are they scared or anxious sometimes? Dr. Becky Kennedy discusses the importance of empathy in parenting in her book Good Inside. She identifies common parenting challenges and explains how you can use empathy as a tool to deal with tantrums, sibling rivalry, and kids who are fearful, anxious, or crying. Keep reading to understand the power of empathetic parenting and how you can use this practical tool with your children.

How to Get Your Kids to Listen: 3 Tools to Elicit Cooperation

Do your kids ignore you when you tell them to do something? Do they talk back or attempt to negotiate? Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy is also a mother of three, so she knows the struggle. She recommends using connection, validation, and playfulness to make your interactions less confrontational and more effective. Continue reading to learn how to get your kids to listen with these three tools.