Can you live a good life within your realm of possibility? What can you achieve with your finite resources and opportunities?
According to Oliver Burkeman, the first step toward being happy and successful is to learn how to be realistic in life. Burkeman says that while it’s good to dream big, it’s also necessary to be realistic—otherwise, you’ll waste your time and energy pining for things you’ll never attain.
Below, we’ll explore the three strategies Burkeman says can help you learn to work within your limitations.
Strategy 1: Change Your Mindset
According to Burkeman, to learn how to be realistic in life, you must first change your mindset. Accurately assess your reality so you can let go of unreachable ideals and focus on what’s currently possible instead of what could be possible in an abstract, unknown future. Shifting to this mindset presents two major advantages.
First, accurately assessing your reality allows you to determine—and pursue—what’s realistically possible for you. For example, you may have a laundry list of things you want to do—start writing a book, act in a TV show, write a song, and so on. However, you’re not a musician or an actor, and you work a full-time job; acting and songwriting aren’t currently within your realm of possibility because you don’t have the time, knowledge, or connections to get started. You do have experience writing, though, and can carve an hour out of each day to start a book. Once you acknowledge that writing is a realistic possibility, you’ll feel encouraged to take action toward your goals since they seem attainable, and you’ll use your time more effectively than if you spent it on goals that are out of your reach.
Second, focusing on current possibilities rather than an unknown future allows you to expend your energy where it’s most effective—on your current pursuits. Burkeman explains that, while future planning has its place, constantly worrying about the future and potential problems wastes time in the present. Instead of worrying, spend that time focusing on what’s important right now. You should trust that you’ll be able to handle future situations as they arise.
Strategy 2: Narrow Your Scope
Burkeman’s second strategy for working within your limitations is narrowing your scope—that is, limiting the commitments you spend time and energy on and the amount of information you consume. Why narrow your scope?
First, Burkeman says that making progress toward happiness and success requires you to quit unfulfilling obligations. Most people have a list of commitments they don’t find satisfying and beneficial—these waste time and emotional energy you should be putting toward things that bring you fulfillment. To quit these burdens, Burkeman recommends you identify the consequences of quitting, determine whether you’re willing to face those consequences, and then face them head-on. This will prevent you from continuing in a state of indecision and inaction.
Second, Burkeman says you need to limit the amount of information you consume and pay attention to. In the modern age, the constant flood of information through news and social media diverts our attention in a million different directions, preventing us from absorbing truly useful information. To avoid splintering your attention, Burkeman makes two recommendations: First, only pay attention to the information that interests you and that is useful now—don’t collect information for some undetermined future situation. Second, focus on one or two social issues that you can make a difference in. This will prevent you from being burdened by the inability to address every injustice.
Strategy 3: Plant Seeds for Success
Burkeman’s third strategy for working within your limitations is planting seeds for success. You can plant these seeds by implementing two habits: taking action every day, no matter how small, and keeping track of what you’ve accomplished.
Why should you take action every day? Burkeman explains that many people get stuck in a state of inaction because they’re too focused on potential obstacles or planning out methods for success. Instead of letting these things get in your way, do something meaningful every day that contributes to your goal—even if it’s small. For example, if you want to write a book but need to fix your laptop first, use the notes app on your phone to start brainstorming today.
(Shortform note: In Someday Is Today, Matthew Dicks explains that one reason we neglect taking the small, consistent steps needed to achieve our goals is that we’re waiting for the perfect conditions to get started—for example, using the excuse of needing your laptop to procrastinate writing your book. To help overcome these excuses and follow Burkeman’s advice, Dicks recommends doing something productive with every spare moment. For example, if you arrive at work 10 minutes early, use that time to brainstorm plot ideas for your book.)
Why should you keep track of your accomplishments? According to Burkeman, noting your achievements encourages you to continue forward. For example, say you keep a list of tasks you’ve accomplished that pertain to a given goal—the more points you have in the list, the more motivated you’ll be to continue adding to the list until the goal is complete.
(Shortform note: The American Psychological Association reiterates that recording your progress makes you more likely to achieve your goals. They also note that strictly tracking goal progress doesn’t encourage behaviors associated with the goal—behaviors that could make or break your ability to maintain your progress or help you continue growing after you complete your goal. For example, tracking how close you are to completing your book might help you finish it, but it won’t encourage you to continue writing consistently once you’ve finished—the associated behavior necessary for success as a writer. So, depending on your goal and desired long-term results, consider tracking both your progress toward your goal and the behaviors associated with it.)
