Psychology Archives

Seeking Validation From Others: Why It’s a Problem

Do you tend to get upset when people don’t acknowledge or validate you? Do you often try to make other people happy at the expense of your own happiness? When your sense of self-worth depends solely on the positive feedback you receive from others, you become dependent on external validation. Inevitably, you often fail to receive the feedback you want. And, each time you fail, you assume that it’s because you’re inadequate in some way—if other people don’t feel you deserve their positive feedback, then you won’t believe you deserve it. Here’s how seeking validation from others impacts your self-esteem.

How to Overcome Trauma: The 2 Steps Toward Healing

What are some practical ways to heal from the trauma you’ve experienced? How might you deal with your past in a way that gives you a brighter future? In The Gap and the Gain, entrepreneurial coach Dan Sullivan and organizational psychologist Benjamin Hardy contend that Gap- and Gain-thinking affect your well-being. Gain-thinking, they argue, can lead to a happier life. If you’ve experienced trauma, though, a happy life might seem out of reach. The authors provide techniques that help you frame your past trauma in a way that promotes Gain-thinking and puts you on the path toward healing. Read more

How to Mend a Broken Relationship in 3 Easy Steps

Is your relationship broken? What steps should you take to fix your relationship problems? We all have a deep-rooted need to be loved, but often a rift opens between our romantic partners and ourselves. In Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt explain why this happens and how to rescue your failing relationship. Continue reading to learn how to mend a broken relationship in three ways.

The Killer Ape Theory: Are Humans Violent by Nature?

What is the Killer Ape Theory? Are humans violent by nature? According to the Killer Ape Theory, aggression and violence are what propelled human evolution, distinguishing our ancestors from other primates. The theory gained notoriety for suggesting that humans were aggressive by nature. However, not all scientists are unanimous in this opinion. According to Rutger Bregman, the author of Humankind, more recent evidence suggests that human nature is peaceful and cooperative. Here’s why the Killer Ape Theory is moot, according to Bregman.

Where Do Thoughts Come From?

Where do thoughts come from? Why do you think about the world the way you do? Are your beliefs and opinions actually your own? While you might believe that you consciously control your thoughts, you’re often not conscious of your thoughts or why you think them. This is because you never consciously chose the thoughts you habitually think or the beliefs that reinforce them. Rather, you subconsciously adopted the thoughts and beliefs of your family, your friends, and your culture. Here’s why you don’t have complete autonomy over the way you think and how this impacts the way you interpret

Supernatural Beliefs & Pseudoscience (Carl Sagan)

What’s pseudoscience? Why do some people believe in astrology and angels? What harm can it cause? Carl Sagan claims that unscientific beliefs are becoming more and more common in the modern age. In The Demon-Haunted World, he discusses pseudosciences and supernatural beliefs. He explains how they spread and why they’re dangerous, arguing that this type of belief impairs our ability to make decisions of all kinds. Keep reading for Sagan’s take on pseudoscience and the supernatural.

Dating Someone With Childhood Trauma: How to Help

Are you dating someone with childhood trauma? How can you help them? Being in a relationship with someone who has childhood trauma isn’t easy. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt suggest practicing “Parent-Child Dialogue” to help them overcome their trauma. Keep reading to learn how to use Parent-Child Dialogue to help your partner.

What Causes Evil? The 2 Contributing Factors

What causes evil? Why do people carry out evil acts against their own kind? Throughout history, humans have enslaved each other, fought brutal wars, and committed genocide. At the same time, humans committed many great deeds of kindness and compassion. This begs the question: Are humans good or evil by nature? According to historian Rutger Bregman, human nature is peaceful, and we commit evil actions for two main reasons: 1) to protect our in-group, and 2) to contribute to the “greater good.” Let’s consider each argument in more detail.

How to Visualize What You Want (& Achieve It)

How can you use visualization to achieve your goals? How can you tap into your imagination if you’re new to visualization? The social messages that you must accept—and be nothing but grateful for—have diminished your ability to imagine a new reality. According to author Glennon Doyle, embracing your imagination will help you create a better, more vibrant life and teach you how to visualize what you want. Keep reading to learn Doyle’s advice on how to visualize what you want and her steps for achieving your goals.

How to Change Your Behavior: 3 Steps to a New Life

Are you stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and behaviors? Are you ready to break out of that cycle? In his book Outwitting the Devil, Napoleon Hill explains that we get set in certain behavior patterns. You can break out of a negative pattern and establish a new, positive one. He recommends three steps: set a life goal, choose faith over fear, and never accept less than you deserve. The overarching principle of these steps is to be confident and committed in everything you do. Read more for Hill’s discussion of how to change your behavior.