Communication Archives

How to Know Your Enemy: Be a Spy, But Act as a Friend

Why do they say “know your enemies”? How does knowing your enemy help you get the upper hand over your opponent? Knowing your enemies is essential to wielding power. When you know your opponent’s secrets, you can predict his behavior and control him. You can enlist spies to gather intelligence for you, but it’s better to be a spy yourself. Adopt a friendly manner and you’ll get people to spill their plans and weaknesses. Here’s why and how to know your enemy.

Asking for Feedback: Do It in Spite of Discomfort

How do you approach feedback? Do you tend to get defensive when someone pinpoints the flaws in your performance? Why is it important to seek feedback? Asking for feedback from others increases your accountability, although praise and criticism from others is not the primary way you should determine if you’re doing your job well or not. In his book First Things First, Stephen Covey recommends the “continue/stop/start” method for requesting feedback about your performance. Learn about the importance of seeking feedback and how to go about it.

How to Stop Playing Mind Games & Embrace Intimacy

Why do people play mind games on each other? Why are we so afraid of showing up authentically? Playing mind games is a normal part of psychological development—all people do it at some point in their lives. According to Dr. Eric Berne, the author of Games People Play, we default to mind games because the more fulfilling social form—intimacy—is either unavailable or too terrifying for most people. Here’s how to stop playing mind games and embrace sincere relationships.

The Problem With Deference to Authority

What is a culture of deference? Why is too much deference a bad thing? A culture of deference is characterized by high deference to authority. This is most evident in communication. People in highly hierarchical cultures tend to use mitigated speech or make indirect statements when speaking to authority. In its extreme, deference can be problematic because it downplays the significance of the message. Here is how a culture of deference can jeopardize communication.

How to Give Constructive Feedback: Be Positive

What is the key to giving effective constructive feedback? Should you emphasize positive or negative aspects of someone’s performance when delivering feedback? According to Rolf Dobelli, the author of The Art of Thinking Clearly, people better accept and implement feedback that is framed in a positive than a negative way. This is because of the psychological phenomenon called the feature-positive effect. Here’s how to give constructive feedback, according to Rolf Dobelli.