Did you know that it’s better to be realistic than to cling to unachievable dreams? How can realism help you live a better life?
According to Oliver Burkeman, to work within your limitations, you must first change your mindset. Accurately assess your reality so you can let go of unreachable ideals and focus on what’s currently possible instead of what could be possible in an abstract, unknown future.
Let’s look at the two advantages of realism and shifting to this mindset.
Benefits of Adjusting Your Mindset
The first advantage of realism is that accurately assessing your reality allows you to determine—and pursue—what’s realistically possible for you. For example, you may have a laundry list of things you want to do—start writing a book, act in a TV show, write a song, and so on. However, you’re not a musician or an actor, and you work a full-time job; acting and songwriting aren’t currently within your realm of possibility because you don’t have the time, knowledge, or connections to get started. You do have experience writing, though, and can carve an hour out of each day to start a book. Once you acknowledge that writing is a realistic possibility, you’ll feel encouraged to take action toward your goals since they seem attainable, and you’ll use your time more effectively than if you spent it on goals that are out of your reach.
(Shortform note: Burkeman’s recommendation to be realistic about our limits and possibilities is beneficial because doing so combats cognitive biases that hinder success. In You Are Not So Smart, David McRaney explains that biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect and the self-serving bias cause us to overestimate our abilities in our weak areas and view ourselves in an overly positive light, respectively. These biases prevent us from accurately assessing our skills and how we can improve ourselves. Consequently, as Burkeman suggests, we think we’re more likely to attain impractical goals than we actually are, so we waste time on unfruitful pursuits. A dose of realistic self-assessment can help you avoid such time-wasters and take more effective action.)
Second, focusing on current possibilities rather than an unknown future allows you to expend your energy where it’s most effective—on your current pursuits. Burkeman explains that, while future planning has its place, constantly worrying about the future and potential problems wastes time in the present. Instead of worrying, spend that time focusing on what’s important right now. You should trust that you’ll be able to handle future situations as they arise.
| How to Focus on Current Pursuits Without Resisting Human Nature Following Burkeman’s advice to stop worrying about the future and focus on current pursuits instead may be more difficult than it seems—our brains are wired to think about the future as a survival mechanism. However, you can embrace your forward-thinking nature while still following Burkeman’s advice by manifesting. In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne explains that you can manifest by replacing worrying thoughts that arise about the future with positive affirmations and visions. Then, act as if that manifestation is already true. This reduces anxiety and encourages you to take actions that help you achieve your desired future. For example, say you own a business. Rather than worrying about whether your business will fail, tell yourself it will succeed and imagine the ways it will flourish. Then, act as if you already have a successful business by, for instance, creating a slogan for a television ad. This helps you think more positively and take a step toward the future you’d like to have. |
