What’s Vex King’s Good Vibes, Good Life about? What’s the key message to take away from the book?
In Good Vibes, Good Life, Vex King argues that the key to living your dream life is to have good vibrations or “good vibes.” The key to minimizing bad vibes and maximizing good ones, King argues, is self-love and acceptance.
Below is a brief overview of Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King.
The Law of Vibration
In his book Good Vibes, Good Life, Vex King asserts that the key to achieving happiness and your dream life is to have a positive mindset, or in other words, put out good vibrations (or “vibes”). A positive mindset will attract positivity to your life. He calls this the Law of Vibration.
King elaborates that everything in the universe is made up of atoms that all vibrate at different frequencies. When atoms share a similar vibrational frequency, they attract each other. King says that high vibrational frequencies are positive and attract positivity, while low vibrational frequencies are negative and will attract negativity. Furthermore, he argues that positive thoughts, words, feelings, and actions cause us to emit a high vibrational frequency while negative thoughts, words, feelings, and actions do the opposite.
King claims that this is because our brain, where these thoughts and emotions take place, is made of innumerable atoms, and the vibrational frequency of these atoms is determined by the state of our mind.So, when you have positive thoughts and feelings or express positive words and actions, your atoms will vibrate at a high frequency and will attract other high vibrations (positivity) back to you. When you’re in a negative mindset—regretting or lamenting the past, wallowing in self-pity, envying others, or being impatient for the future—your atoms vibrate at a low frequency and will therefore attract negativity and hardships.
The Law of Attraction: How to Manifest Your Dream Life
King explains that once you’ve achieved a positive mindset, you’ll be able to manifest whatever you want in life by following the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction asserts that you can manifest your desires—money, love, material things, and so on—by simply focusing your mind’s eye on them. When you continually imagine yourself possessing your desires, they’ll become reality.
(Shortform note: Since the mid-2000s, the term “manifest” has been redefined by popular culture and the spiritual community. In this guide, the verb manifest means “the process of bringing something tangible into your life through positive thinking and belief.”)
However, King points out a limitation of the Law of Attraction—you’ll only be able to attract what you want if you’re able to maintain a positive mindset at all times. If you’re in a negative mindset, you’ll attract negativity and halt the positive manifestation process. Addressing this limitation to the Law of Attraction and teaching people how to maintain positive vibes is the purpose of King’s book.
How to Raise Your Vibration
King explains that the key to maintaining a high vibrational frequency is to accept yourself, take care of your body and mind, and embrace the present moment. The foundation of achieving these goals, King explains, is self-love.
In this part, we’ll discuss self-love and the secondary ways you can raise your vibration.
(Shortform note: In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne makes the same argument, explaining that self-love is necessary for the Law of Attraction to work at its highest capacity. She says that when you think thoughts like “I’m not worthy, I’m stupid, I’m not deserving” and so on, you’re broadcasting those thoughts into the universe—and over time, you’ll attract more people, events, and situations to reinforce them. Ultimately, like King, she argues that if we want to attract positivity into our lives, we first need to love ourselves.)
Self-love is composed of two parts: total acceptance of yourself (appreciating who you are and where you are in life) and taking action to improve yourself. King warns that many people fail at improving themselves because they fail to truly accept and love themselves no matter where they are at the present moment.
(Shortform note: Health experts second King’s assertion, explaining that self-love motivates us to make healthy life choices and nurture our well-being. They define self-love as a state of appreciation for yourself that results in physical, psychological, and spiritual growth, which include the two components King presents: self-acceptance and self-improvement. Further, experts explain that when we’re motivated to take care of our body and mind we are also more resilient to mental hardships and physical ailments.)
There are a number of suggestions King makes to help you learn to love and accept yourself:
Love your appearance: Many people get down on themselves about not looking perfect because society pressures us to compare ourselves to others. King reminds us that there’s no such thing as the “perfect” appearance. Beauty standards constantly change, but regardless, these are all social constructs that mean nothing. Appreciate your uniqueness.
Appreciate your inner beauty: Are you intelligent, artistic, kind, compassionate, generous? There are so many wonderful things about you that add to the world. Remember and appreciate these things.
Celebrate your achievements: Remind yourself of all the amazing things you’ve accomplished, big and small, and celebrate these things. If you are proud of a project you completed, celebrate by making your favorite dinner or meeting with friends. This will help you love and appreciate yourself.
Forgive yourself: Everyone makes mistakes, but the only thing you can do about it is learn from it. You can’t change the past.
Check your behavior: Are there things you’re doing that are hindering your progress? Bad habits, addiction, toxic relationships? We have the power to change, but we need to take action and be consistent to achieve these changes.
Use Positive Body Language
Another thing King says we should do to raise our vibration is to adopt confident, positive body language because research shows that how you act outwardly can affect how you feel inwardly. So even if you’re feeling down, faking a smile is actually proven to help you feel better.
Further, studies have shown that doing power poses for two minutes per day can increase testosterone, the confidence hormone, by 20% and decrease cortisol, the stress hormone, by 25%.
(Shortform note: Psychologists second King’s assertion, explaining that positive body language such as making eye contact, leaning forward during conversations, standing up straight, keeping your chin up, slowing your movements, taking larger steps, and speaking slowly and clearly can make you feel more positive and confident. However, medical experts caution that multiple studies have proven that expansive posture, like power poses, has zero impact on testosterone and cortisol levels. So while power poses and positive body language might make you feel better, there’s no evidence that they have any effect on your body chemistry.)
Take Care of Your Body and Mind
King explains that you can’t maintain high vibrations if your body and mind aren’t healthy, so you need to take good care of them by getting outside often and eating well.
Based on a 1991 study, King argues that being in nature can improve your emotional state and psychological well-being.
(Shortform note: Multiple studies have proven King’s point, showing that—as long as people feel safe—spending time in nature improves well-being. It can lower blood pressure and stress hormones, reduce arousal of the nervous system, enhance immune function, increase self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and boost good moods.)
And, sunlight gives us vitamin D, which encourages the production and release of serotonin—the happiness hormone.
(Shortform note: Experts explain that not only does sunlight improve your emotional state and psychological well-being, but a lack of sunlight can cause Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression resulting from a lack of vitamin D. And while there are supplements and vitamin D-efficient food we can eat to try and counter this effect, research on whether or not these help with SAD is limited. Professionals say the best way to cure SAD when we lack access to real sun is through phototherapy—the practice of standing in front of a special lamp that emits safe UV light for around 20 minutes every day.)
Further, King explains that foods actually have a vibrational frequency, so putting healthy, high-vibrational food in your body will increase your frequency while eating bad foods will do the opposite.
A 1949 study reported that foods like fresh fruit, raw vegetables, whole grains, olives, and many types of nuts have very high frequencies. Foods like boiled vegetables, dairy, eggs, natural sweeteners, and cooked fish have slightly lower but still decent frequencies.
On the other hand, foods like cooked meat, coffee and tea, and processed sweets and cheeses have low frequencies. And foods that contain margarine, refined sugars, bleached flour, and alcoholic spirits have no vibration at all. So, if you want to raise your vibration, eat more high-vibrational foods and fewer low-vibrational ones.
When bad things happen, it can be difficult to think of the positive things in life, but King argues that always being grateful for where you are and what you have is a sure-fire way to emit good vibes.
If you have trouble finding things to be grateful for, King recommends thinking about the things you use on a daily basis (like your car, kitchen appliances, or phone) and imagining what life would be like without them. What would happen if you didn’t have that thing? For example, if you didn’t have an oven or stove, you would spend hours gathering wood, building a fire, and waiting for your food to slowly cook. Consider these things and be grateful for what you have.
Turn Your Bad Emotions Into Good Ones
By paying attention to how you feel, you can recognize your own negativity and reverse it, turning your bad vibes into good ones.
King recommends doing this by first identifying the emotion you feel—is it anger, jealousy, sadness, regret? Then, consider whether these feelings are appropriate based on the situation—have you made false assumptions, exaggerated the situation, or had a misunderstanding?
Next, think about the underlying reason you had the feelings—does it stem from insecurity, fear of abandonment, or lack of trust? Now replace the negative emotion by thinking of something positive—remember a time you felt the opposite emotion. Finally, think of how you can rewire your response to avoid the negative reaction next time a similar situation occurs.
Live in the Present Moment by Meditating
When you live in the present moment, you’re immune to the negative feelings you have when lamenting about the past or worrying about the future. King explains that the key to living in the present moment is through meditation, which decreases negative emotions that cause us distress while increasing our ability to stay calm and feel joy in the moment.
Ultimately, meditation gives you a break from constant thinking and a chance to be your authentic self. He says that you’ll see and feel a difference after meditating only 15 minutes a day for 30 days.
(Shortform note: In 10% Happier, Dan Harris elaborates on King’s point by explaining why meditation helps us stay present—because it helps us separate our “self” from the thinking voice in our head that belongs to our ego. This thinking voice is what causes negative thoughts—lamenting about the past and worrying about the future. He adds that the key takeaways from mediation that will help us resist negativity and remain present are learning to respond rather than react, how to be compassionate, and how to worry less and only worry when it’s helpful.)
How to Avoid Bad Vibrations
King explains that there are a number of factors, both internal and external, that can lower your vibrational frequency. When you’re aware of these factors, you can remove them from your life. Ultimately, anything that causes suffering will lower your vibration. The sections below will guide you on what to avoid to make positivity more achievable.
Avoid Toxic People
One of the fastest ways to lower your vibration is by being around negative people. King explains that vibes are contagious—if the people you’re with are thinking negatively and behaving in a toxic manner, their negativity will rub off on you.
For example, if the person you’re with is constantly complaining, criticizing, gossiping, moping, and so on, you’ll probably end up in a bad mood, even if you are a positive person. These people can be anyone from friends and coworkers to family and partners. So if you continue to be around these people, you’ll be unable to maintain good vibes.
(Shortform note: In Primal Leadership, the authors second King’s argument that emotions are highly contagious and explain that this is because of our brain function. The emotional center of our brain, called the limbic system, is an open-loop system, meaning that internal factors are shaped by external stimuli. This means that our own emotions are highly impacted by the emotions of other people. So if we’re around positive people, we’re likely to end up in a good mood, whereas if we’re around negative people, our good moods can be tarnished quickly.)
However, distancing yourself isn’t the only option. If you’re honest with the other person and explain the toxic behaviors and their effect on you, they may be understanding and willing to change. Ultimately, you should aim to form relationships with positive people who are open to this kind of feedback and who’ll help you see the best side of things and raise your own vibrations.
Don’t Give Yourself to Energy Vampires
King explains that your energy and good vibes can be drained by people who rely on you as a support system. When we have a person in our life who’s struggling—whether it be with a breakup, financial issues, or depression—we often feel obliged to support them emotionally. However, this can be extremely draining when we’re pouring our energy and good vibes into them.
If you feel you’re in a good place where you’re strong enough to support them without being negatively affected, then go for it; however, if you leave the interaction feeling drained or depressed, you have an obligation to yourself to take a break and regain your energy.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
King explains that comparing ourselves to others is pointless and often makes us feel that we’re lacking in some way—in reality, everyone’s at a different point in life at different times based on our priorities, values, and other external factors that are out of our control.
Consequently, another person’s life position is irrelevant to you because you’re a different person—you have different values, a different family and upbringing, and different life circumstances. While they might be in their prime now, you might be on the rise and reaching your prime while they’re on their decline.
King notes that many aspects of our society thrive by making us compare ourselves to others like social media and marketing campaigns for clothes, makeup, and other material goods—if we don’t have this thing, this life, or look this way, then we aren’t good enough. Consequently, you should distance yourself from social media and other pressures if you feel yourself falling victim to the comparison complex.[Shortform note: King doesn’t recommend how we can stop comparing ourselves to others, but experts make a few suggestions: (1) Identify specific people or things that trigger you and come up with a list of why they don’t matter; (2) start a gratitude journal where you list all the things that you’re grateful for and remember them when you start comparing yourself; (3) document your achievements so you can remember the big and little things you’ve accomplished; (4) view other people as allies who push you to do better rather than threats; and (5) treat yourself like your own best friend—encourage yourself and don’t talk down to yourself.]
Avoid Negative Activities
When you do things like gossip, argue, judge others, or complain, you emit negative energy that will bring negativity back to you. King explains that these behaviors are impulses of our ego, and our ego’s ultimate goal is to feel superior to others. Whenever you’re operating with your ego, you’re emitting negative vibrations.
So when you feel the need to argue with someone or complain about something, for example, recognize that this is your ego, not you. This will allow you to overcome the negative thought or emotion.
(Shortform note: In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle echoes this concept explaining that the ego has two primary goals: to gain an identity and make that identity superior to others’ identities. One of the primary ways the ego accomplishes this goal, Tolle explains, is by complaining. When we complain about others, this is an egoic tactic to express superiority over them. And when we do this, we strengthen our ego, which makes us exhibit more negative behavior. So, when we allow ourselves to do things like gossip, we dig ourselves further into negativity, making it more difficult to emit positive vibes.)
Don’t Focus on the Bad Things
When you think about hardships you’ve experienced in the past or bad things that could happen in the future, you’re focused on negative things and therefore emit negative energy. This goes back to the Law of Attraction—when you’re visualizing the bad things that have happened or could happen, you are essentially manifesting them back into your life.
Further, when you do this, you’re either living in the past or the future rather than the present moment. As we discussed, King explains that living in the present moment is one of the keys to achieving a state of perpetual positivity.
So, rather than regretting past mistakes or being angry about hardships you’ve experienced, King recommends that you have faith—remember that everything happens for a reason. Your hardships have taught you valuable lessons in life, and everything that has happened has led you to the exact moment you’re in right now. If even the smallest thing from your past was different, you might have never gotten your dream job, met the love of your life, or found your dream home.
How to Achieve Your Ideal Life
King explains that once you’ve reached a high vibrational state, you can attain your ideal life by visualizing your desires and taking steps to achieve them. In the sections below, we’ll discuss King’s recommendations on how to successfully manifest your dream life.
Visualize What You Want
King explains that you can attract what you want by visualizing it in your mind—if you want a new car, close your eyes and imagine yourself driving that exact car, feeling the leather steering wheel, smelling the new car smell, adjusting your mirror, rolling the window down, listening to the radio, and so on.
Similarly, if you want to learn a new skill, imagine yourself practicing that skill and go through the motions in your head. Studies show that this fires the same parts of your brain that you use when actually doing the action.
(Shortform note: In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne explains that making a vision board can help you visualize what you want. To do this, get a blank poster and attach multiple images that represent how you want your life to be—for example, your dream house, car, job, or vacation. As you post each image on the board, take a moment to feel the experience of already possessing those things—if you posted a picture of the beach, imagine feeling the sun on your shoulders and sand under your toes. Put the vision board somewhere where you see it regularly and take time every day to look at the vision board and visualize your ideal life.)
Consider Your Underlying Beliefs About Reality
King explains that everyone has different underlying beliefs about how and why the world functions and that your reality is shaped by these beliefs. So, if you have negative underlying beliefs, you’ll create a negative reality.
(Shortform note: In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins makes a similar claim, arguing that your beliefs dictate how you interpret and react to your life experiences. For example, if you believe that only people with a 4.0 GPA can get the job you want, you probably won’t apply if you have a lower GPA. Because you didn’t bother to apply, you won’t get the job and your original belief will be confirmed. This is likely to shape your perception of reality—only people who excelled in school can be successful in their careers.)
For example, if you believe that people are inherently untrustworthy or that wealth only comes to people who are born into it, this will become your reality. On the other hand, if you believe that most people are good people and that wealth comes to those who work hard, then this will become your reality.
If you find that you have negative assumptions about people and the world, it’ll be difficult to manifest a positive life. To change these negative beliefs, identify the opposing beliefs and seek out information to prove them. For example, if you believe that wealth is only attainable for those born into it, look up success stories about wealthy people who started with nothing to counter your previous assumption.
(Shortform note: In Awaken the Giant Within Tony Robbins adds an additional recommendation to help you change your beliefs: Differentiate between specific and global beliefs. For example, a specific belief would be that you’re not good at tennis. A global belief would be that you’re bad at all sports. It’s ok to have some negative specific beliefs—if you’re bad at tennis and that’s the reality, then you can admit it—but don’t let specific beliefs translate to global beliefs. Just because you’re bad at tennis doesn’t mean you’re bad at sports in general.)
Recite Positive Affirmations
King explains that when you recite affirmations, you can alter your subconscious through repetition.
To make these affirmations most effective, create honest and achievable affirmations, write them down in your own voice and in the present tense, make them as detailed as possible, and recite them out loud daily. For example: I am a confident, smart person who can handle any challenge that I face. Nothing can bring me down and make me feel negative because I have an impenetrable bubble of positivity surrounding me all the time.
(Shortform note: In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill seconds King’s argument, explaining that one of the keys to achieving any goal in life is through visualization and reciting affirmations—Hill calls this process “autosuggestion.” Like King, Hill says that in order for these affirmations to be successful, you need to recite them as if you’ve already achieved them—for example, “My new Porsche is shiny silver and smells like a brand new car.” Hill adds that you also need to “emotionalize” your words—say them with conviction like you truly believe and are excited about what you’re saying.)
The Final Step to Success: Take Action
King explains that while a positive mindset and manifestation are the keys to achieving your dream life, the final step is to take action to achieve these goals. We can’t just stay positive and hope that everything we’ve ever wanted will fall into our lap—we actually have to take steps to move ourselves in this direction.
King elaborates that this doesn’t have to be your only focus in life, though—you can break a big goal into small steps and do something little every day to work towards the goal.
Last but not least, avoid procrastination at all costs. The most important part of taking action is being consistent. Even if you can’t put 100% in every day, intentionally doing something small will keep you motivated and produce results because every time you complete something you’ll get a boost of dopamine, the reward chemical.
(Shortform note: In Ultralearning, Scott Young explains that procrastination is one of the biggest obstacles to accomplishing your goals, and like King, he adds that consistent action is the key to success. When you feel the urge to procrastinate by doing other tasks or avoiding the original task, Young recommends using mental strategies to help you fight that urge. For example, if you feel the urge to procrastinate, set a timer for five minutes and make yourself work for at least that time—often, the desire to procrastinate will wear off and you’ll end up working past the timer. If you find yourself not wanting to work more than five minutes, increase the time to 25 minutes.)
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Here's what you'll find in our full Good Vibes, Good Life summary:
- Why the key to living your dream life is to have good vibrations
- How to successfully manifest your dream life
- Tips on how to avoid suffering and negative energy