How to Handle Disappointments: Respond Like a Stoic

This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Daily Stoic" by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.

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How do you respond when things go wrong? How should you feel, and what should you do?

The Stoic philosophers taught that we should pursue virtuous living. They recognized, though, that we will inevitably suffer setbacks on that journey. In The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman share the Stoics’ advice for dealing with life’s setbacks.

Continue reading to learn how to handle disappointments the Stoic way.

How to Handle Disappointments

According to the authors, life will test our courage and our commitment to justice—it gives a steady stream of opportunities to respond well when things go wrong. The Stoics argued that, even in the face of disappointment, fear, and other difficulties, we need to steadily pursue virtue.  

(Shortform note: Disappointment is a painful, but normal, emotional response when things go wrong. Experts suggest that the way you respond to disappointment can be transformational—it gives you the chance to grow stronger in your pursuit of your goals. Some good ways to overcome disappointment include journaling or talking about it, reassessing your core values, and accepting yourself for who you are. Consider some of these strategies as you look to apply Stoic practices.) 

The Stoics showed us how to handle disappointments, encouraging us to take them in stride. If we find ourselves suddenly out of work, for instance, we need to process our situation through our reason and keep our focus on living virtuously. Don’t lash out in anger or check out of your daily responsibilities—that accomplishes nothing good. Instead, consider how you can learn from your situation. With this mindset, the Stoics argue, we can even treat setbacks as an opportunity to grow in virtue. 

How to Handle Disappointments: Respond Like a Stoic

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Here's what you'll find in our full The Daily Stoic summary:

  • Insights from ancient Stoic philosophers on how to live a good life
  • Stoic practices you can follow on a daily basis
  • Why you should think about death more often

Elizabeth Whitworth

Elizabeth has a lifelong love of books. She devours nonfiction, especially in the areas of history, theology, and philosophy. A switch to audiobooks has kindled her enjoyment of well-narrated fiction, particularly Victorian and early 20th-century works. She appreciates idea-driven books—and a classic murder mystery now and then. Elizabeth has a Substack and is writing a book about what the Bible says about death and hell.

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