Is it possible to control how happy you are? Can you override or offset your genetics?
According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, 40% of your happiness is within your control. She identifies the factors that contribute to happiness and explains how to harness the one factor that will yield to your influence.
Keep reading to discover how to control happiness with Lyubomirsky’s strategies.
What Can You Control?
Before you can learn how to control happiness, you must understand what contributes to happiness. According to Lyubomirsky, three main factors influence your overall happiness, to varying degrees:
- Your genetics influence 50% of your long-term happiness.
- Your circumstances influence 10% of your long-term happiness.
- Your thoughts and behaviors influence 40% of your long-term happiness.
(Shortform note: Lyubomirsky bases her argument that genetics contribute to 50% of your happiness on data gathered from 1970-1986. More recent studies suggest that genetics may not be as influential as Lyubomirsky suggests, accounting for approximately 30-40% of your happiness. Further, these more recent studies reveal that the genetic influence on happiness isn’t from a single “happiness” gene, but from a multitude of genetic variants that collectively contribute to your happiness baseline. For example, one study identified 304 genetic variants that each impact happiness.)
Even if your circumstances make you happy, you’ll eventually get used to them and revert to your happiness baseline. However, Lyubomirsky stresses that, while you can’t change your happiness baseline, you can control 40% of the happiness you feel by consciously choosing to think and behave in positive ways.
Lyubomirsky explains that, though genetics play a key role, they don’t have the final say on your happiness. Your genes predispose you to certain emotional outcomes, but the extent of their influence depends on a combination of factors, including your environment, experiences, and behaviors. For example, someone might have a genetic predisposition to depression, but if they grow up in a supportive environment and practice good mental health habits, they might never experience depression.
This means that, even if you’re genetically predisposed to a low-happiness baseline, you can feel just as happy as someone with a high-happiness baseline. You just have to shape your environment and invest more effort into thinking and behaving positively than that person might.Further, while the impact of circumstances on your happiness tends to diminish over time, Lyubomirsky suggests that deliberately adopting positive thoughts and behaviors in day-to-day life inhibits the hedonic adaptation process, prolonging the happiness you derive from good circumstances.
How to Control What You Can
We’ve just explained the factors that impact happiness: Genetics determine your happiness baseline, circumstances influence it temporarily, and positive thoughts and behaviors can offset genetic constraints while also prolonging happiness that stems from circumstances.
Since you can’t alter your genetic code and have only a certain degree of influence over your circumstances (and even then, perfect circumstances bring only fleeting happiness), it follows that the most effective way to boost long-term happiness is to cultivate positive thoughts and behaviors.
Lyubomirsky suggests that you can encourage positive thoughts and behaviors by practicing happiness-boosting strategies.
- Adopt a healthy lifestyle: Exercise regularly, follow a balanced diet, and ensure you get adequate sleep.
- Abstain from overthinking and social comparison: Designate specific times to challenge and reframe worries, journal to clarify and release troubling thoughts, manage triggers that induce overthinking or comparisons, practice meditation, or seek therapy.
- Foster a positive outlook: Maintain an aspirational diary that captures your hopes for the future; keep a gratitude journal; and prolong appreciation for what’s going well in your life by discussing what you’re thankful for with friends, expressing thanks to others, or reminiscing about pleasant events.
- Be kind: Allocate specific times in your week for altruistic acts or deepening your compassion through understanding and empathizing with others.
- Nurture your relationships: Set aside quality time with loved ones, express affection openly, manage conflicts constructively, and show genuine interest in others.
- Forgive and move forward: Reflect on personal growth from past hurts, understand the perspectives of those who’ve wronged you, and engage in rituals that symbolize letting go.
- Pursue meaningful goals: Create clear action plans, regularly review and adjust your objectives, and seek mentorship for guidance and support.
- Engage deeply: Focus your attention during tasks, transform mundane activities into stimulating challenges, and strive for moments of complete immersion in whatever you’re doing.
- Embrace spirituality: Consider joining a religious community or dedicating daily time to prayer.
Personalize Your Happiness-Boosting Strategies
Lyubomirsky suggests that you’re more likely to commit to and benefit from happiness-boosting strategies if you personalize them in four ways.
1) Self-reflect: Lyubomirsky recommends pondering moments that genuinely bring you happiness and using tools that help you understand your strengths and values, such as the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic.
2) Practice regularly: Lyubomirsky suggests considering times when you’re most receptive to practicing happiness-boosting strategies and introducing them into your routine one at a time to avoid being overwhelmed.
3) Introduce variety: Lyubomirsky says you should make sure your practice doesn’t become monotonous and feel like a chore by varying the activities or rotating between strategies. Additionally, if your circumstances change, make sure your strategies evolve in tandem.
4) Monitor your progress: Lyubomirsky recommends using happiness self-evaluation tools like the Subjective Happiness Scale or the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire to measure the impact of different strategies and inform your practice.
