Psychology Archives

Why Do We Self-Sabotage? Gay Hendricks Explains

Why do we self-sabotage? In other words, why do we make decisions that prevent us from living our best life? According to Gay Hendricks, the author of The Big Leap, self-sabotage ensues when we reach what he calls the “Upper Limit Problem”—the maximum amount of success and happiness we are comfortable with experiencing. Once we reach that threshold, we will self-sabotage by making unwise decisions in order to return to the comfortable baseline. Here’s why we self-sabotage and how to stop doing it once and for all.

The Age-Old Question: What Do Women Want in Men?

What do women want in men? Do women really like “bad guys”? There’s not one concrete answer to what women expect from men when they’re dating or in a relationship. According to Rollo Tomassi, the author of The Rational Male, women are drawn to guys who act rude and are full of themselves. Robert Glover, on the other hand, says that women aren’t attracted to those types of men. Check out the debate between Tomassi and Glover on what women really want in a man.

Factors Influencing Self-Esteem: Culture Is Key

Is one’s self-esteem the result of internal or external factors? What role does culture play in self-esteem? Although self-esteem starts with your own behavior, external factors still play a role. According to psychotherapist and self-esteem expert Nathaniel Branden, one of the major external factors influencing self-esteem is the culture where you grew up. Keep reading to learn how cultures affect the self-esteem of their members—and how cultural values that support or discourage self-esteem affect the overall health of societies.

It Didn’t Start With You: Book Overview & Takeaways

What is Mark Wolynn’s book It Didn’t Start With You about? What is the key message to take away from the book? It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn is an exploration of the trauma you could develop from your family during childhood. He links psychology and biology to explain how generational trauma develops and presents his language-based approach to uncovering and healing inherited trauma. Here’s a brief overview of It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn.

Self-Sabotaging Behavior in Relationships: 4 Solutions

Why do we sabotage our romantic relationships? What are some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships? According to psychologist Gay Hendricks, we’re not evolutionarily built for deep, loving relationships—we’re evolved to meet basic needs and reproduce. This means that we naturally feel uncomfortable when we experience intensely positive emotions in relationships. As a result, we often subconsciously sabotage our romantic relationships by picking fights, keeping a score, and perpetuating dysfunctional communication patterns. Here’s why we sabotage our most important relationships and how to put an end to this cycle.

Rollo Tomassi: The Truth About Women’s Sexual Prime

When do women reach their sexual prime? Are older women more sexually prolific? According to Rollo Tomassi, the author of The Rational Male, women perpetuate the lie that they reach their sexual prime when they’re older and more mature. This is because women’s sexual strategy is to find a man who would be best suited to protect and financially support them and their children, and they need ample time for that. Keep reading to learn the truth about women’s sexual prime, according to Tomassi.

Understanding the Effects of Low Self-Esteem

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? How does having low self-esteem affect your life outcomes? Just as healthy self-esteem benefits you, poor self-esteem harms you. Having low self-esteem causes you to behave in ways that further erode your self-esteem, diminish your happiness, and create problems in your relationships and work. Many people don’t even realize they have low self-esteem because it can be concealed by a false sense of confidence that may ultimately cause greater harm. Learn about the negative effects of low self-esteem.

How to Heal From Childhood Trauma & Take Ownership

Can you heal yourself from generational trauma? How can you root out inherited trauma once and for all? Moving beyond childhood trauma is liberating and empowering. To do so, you can practice four healing rituals that will bring serenity into your life: visualizing positive images, mending broken relationships, planting a tree, and volunteering. Here’s how to heal from childhood trauma, according to inherited trauma expert Mark Wolynn.

Success Guilt: Do You Downplay Your Success?

Do you often find yourself downplaying your success? Why do people feel guilty about becoming successful? Many people feel the need to downplay their successes to avoid making other people look bad or feel bad about themselves. Further, they may even subconsciously self-sabotage to protect those whom they believe will be hurt by their success. Keep reading to learn about the psychology of success guilt, according to Gay Hendricks.

Do Men Want to Get Married? Likely Not

Do men want to get married? Why do men reject the idea of a long-term relationship? According to Rollo Tomassi, the author of The Rational Male, men have a natural tendency to seek multiple partners throughout their life and thus have no urge to settle down. Women, however, are more likely to seek a committed relationship. Here’s why men don’t want to settle down, according to Tomassi.