The World's Best Book Summaries
Do you have a feeling you’re pursuing the wrong goals? Why would you make decisions and choose goals that waste your energy and make you unhappy? Many people chase after the wrong goals—pursuing things for the sake of getting social approval. While impressing others may feel good in the short term, it will eventually make you feel miserable and unfulfilled. Here’s why chasing after superficial goals is the worst kind of self-sabotage.
If humans are cooperative by nature, why do we wage wars with each other? Does our species owe its survival to competition or to cooperation? According to Rutger Bregman, the author of Humankind, human cooperation is the reason our species survived. Based on archaeological evidence, he concludes that early humans were compassionate and cooperative. He argues that, contrary to popular belief, they didn’t engage in war with each other. Here’s why humans are cooperative—rather than competitive—by nature, according to Bregman.
What is the number one cause of unhappiness? How does trying to make other people happy eat away at your own happiness? One of the most common pitfalls that prevent people from being happy is, paradoxically enough, trying too hard to make others happy. Relying on positive feedback to feel happy creates a breeding ground for unwanted experiences and negative feelings. This is because seeking validation compels you to engage in two habits that disconnect you from your true needs: suppressing your feelings and pursuing the wrong goals. Let’s explore how these two inauthentic habits eat away at your happiness.
What does a typical dating timeline look like? How do you feel about your partner during these different phases? In Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt give a basic timeline of dating that is similar to a novel’s structure. These stages include the honeymoon phase, an unwelcome transition, and the beginning of the conflict. Keep reading for an in-depth look at Hendrix and Hunt’s three-phase dating timeline.
What is social learning? How does the ability to learn through imitation help Homo sapiens endure? Social learning is learning through imitation. According to Rutger Bregman, the author of Humankind, humans’ capacity for social learning was instrumental in the survival of our species. He argues that social learning is the key factor that made Homo sapiens survive and Neanderthals (who were bigger and stronger) die out. Keep reading to learn about the role of social learning in human survival.
Do you tend to get upset when people don’t acknowledge or validate you? Do you often try to make other people happy at the expense of your own happiness? When your sense of self-worth depends solely on the positive feedback you receive from others, you become dependent on external validation. Inevitably, you often fail to receive the feedback you want. And, each time you fail, you assume that it’s because you’re inadequate in some way—if other people don’t feel you deserve their positive feedback, then you won’t believe you deserve it. Here’s how seeking validation from others impacts your self-esteem.
What are some practical ways to heal from the trauma you’ve experienced? How might you deal with your past in a way that gives you a brighter future? In The Gap and the Gain, entrepreneurial coach Dan Sullivan and organizational psychologist Benjamin Hardy contend that Gap- and Gain-thinking affect your well-being. Gain-thinking, they argue, can lead to a happier life. If you’ve experienced trauma, though, a happy life might seem out of reach. The authors provide techniques that help you frame your past trauma in a way that promotes Gain-thinking and puts you on the path toward healing. Read more
Is your relationship broken? What steps should you take to fix your relationship problems? We all have a deep-rooted need to be loved, but often a rift opens between our romantic partners and ourselves. In Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt explain why this happens and how to rescue your failing relationship. Continue reading to learn how to mend a broken relationship in three ways.
What is the Killer Ape Theory? Are humans violent by nature? According to the Killer Ape Theory, aggression and violence are what propelled human evolution, distinguishing our ancestors from other primates. The theory gained notoriety for suggesting that humans were aggressive by nature. However, not all scientists are unanimous in this opinion. According to Rutger Bregman, the author of Humankind, more recent evidence suggests that human nature is peaceful and cooperative. Here’s why the Killer Ape Theory is moot, according to Bregman.
Where do thoughts come from? Why do you think about the world the way you do? Are your beliefs and opinions actually your own? While you might believe that you consciously control your thoughts, you’re often not conscious of your thoughts or why you think them. This is because you never consciously chose the thoughts you habitually think or the beliefs that reinforce them. Rather, you subconsciously adopted the thoughts and beliefs of your family, your friends, and your culture. Here’s why you don’t have complete autonomy over the way you think and how this impacts the way you interpret