A man wondering is secrets are bad, while also leaning in and cupping his ear to hear a secret.

Why are secrets bad? How are children affected by life-changing family secrets?

On The Mel Robbins Podcast, Michael Slepian and Robbins break down past secrets they’ve either kept or learned from others. Using their experiences with secrets, they conclude that open communication is the best way to instill trust in relationships.

Keep reading to learn why open communication is better than keeping a secret. 

Making Sense of the Past: Regrets and Lessons Learned

Why are secrets bad, according to Robbins and Slepian? In a segment dedicated to past regrets, both speakers open up about their own mistakes and oversights. Slepian confessed to infidelity in past relationships, a regret that he still grapples with. Slepian shared a time where he revisited previous correspondences with an ex-partner which led him to reassess his actions at the end of that relationship. Revisiting the past helped him recognize troubling patterns of behavior persisting even in his current relationship. 

Robbins, on her part, shared her experience of a distressing breakup during her college years, which was complicated by the recent suicide of her then-boyfriend’s father. Robbins expressed regret for not recognizing how her untreated childhood trauma had influenced her relationships and wished she had sought professional help earlier.

Both speakers took their past experiences as opportunities for personal evolution and introspective learning.

The Power of Open Communication Versus Secrecy

Slepian and Robbins continually emphasize the power of open discussion over secrecy. Robbins adds to this by emphasizing the need to openly discuss personal insecurities to ensure a conducive environment for dialogue. 

One intriguing takeaway from Slepian’s research unveils how significant secrets can cast a daunting shadow over our environment, revealing how openness can affect transformative change. 

Narratives surrounding non-matriculation demonstrate that actual reactions are often more benign, and sometimes even positive, countering the fear of imagined negative reactions.

Seeking Help and Sharing Burdens: Finding Support Systems

As they near the conclusion of their discourse, Slepian explained how children who grow up around family secrets often adopt a problem-solving strategy focused on maintaining secrets. This approach prevents them from seeking help, often worsening situations that are already stressful or difficult.

Deeper into the conversation, Slepian and Robbins acknowledge the complexity of darker family secrets like sexual abuse, without offering explicit advice on managing these situations.

Wrapping up, Robbins offered to be a support system for listeners who might be struggling with their own confidential burdens. She invited her audience to share their stories anonymously and offered her expertise to help them navigate these challenges.

Both speakers conclude by endorsing consultation with a neutral third party before deciding to unveil secrets, leaving challenging topics such as these open for further exploration.


In this podcast episode, the speakers delve into the complexities of interpersonal relationships and the profound impact of past experiences on individuals. To fully grasp the content, it is helpful to have a basic understanding of concepts such as infidelity, trauma, and personal growth. Infidelity refers to being unfaithful or disloyal in a romantic or sexual relationship, while trauma encompasses deeply distressing experiences that can have long-lasting effects on mental and emotional well-being. Personal growth involves the process of self-improvement and development through gaining new insights, skills, and perspectives.

The themes explored in this podcast episode revolve around past regrets, lessons learned, the power of open communication versus secrecy, seeking help and support systems, and personal growth through introspection. We examine how individuals navigate their regrets from past actions within relationships and learn valuable lessons from them. The article emphasizes the importance of open communication as opposed to keeping secrets in fostering healthy connections with others. It also highlights the significance of seeking professional help through therapy or counseling when facing challenges stemming from past experiences. Ultimately, personal growth is presented as an outcome achieved through introspection and self-reflection.

Are Secrets Bad? The Mel Robbins Podcast Weighs In

Katie Doll

Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.

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