This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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Why does accepting responsibility make you happier? Well, if somebody forced you to run 25 miles, would you be upset about it? What if you decided to run 25 miles for a marathon, would you feel accomplished?
Accepting responsibility makes all the difference when it comes to being happy. You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.
Continue reading to learn how powerful accepting responsibility can be.
Accepting Responsibility
When you don’t feel in control of a situation you become unhappy. You might not feel like you have any choice in the matter, or you might feel incapable of solving your problem.
It’s often a matter of perspective. A problem can make you miserable, or it can give you a sense of accomplishment when you solve it. Often the difference is in the degree to which you are responsible or feel you have a choice.
For example, if someone forced you to run 26 miles, it would be painful and you would feel miserable. But if you planned and trained for running a marathon, you’d feel pain but also a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in completing it.
We feel in control and empowered when we accept responsibility for our problems or challenges. When forced to deal with problems not of our making we feel helpless and victimized. But here’s the solution — no matter what situation you’re in, no matter your circumstances, you always have a choice. You can choose how you feel about something, and you can choose how to behave in every situation.
We’ll discuss multiple applications of this idea below.
Once you accept your responsibility and ability to make choices, you’ll feel empowered in any situation, and this will make you happier.
You’re Always Making Choices
We don’t always control what happens to us, but we’re responsible for how we respond to it.
William James, the brother of author Henry James, came to this realization in his own life, and further developed it when he became a leading thinker in American psychology.
He had many health issues as a child and young adult, and fell short of his wealthy family’s expectations for success. He was depressed and struggled in early adulthood to find something meaningful. After dropping out of Harvard Medical School and spending time studying philosophy, he decided to spend a year accepting responsibility for everything that happened to him, good or bad.
If nothing improved within a year, it would mean he was truly powerless and he would commit suicide. As he assumed responsibility for changing his circumstances he began feeling empowered and his life began improving. He later referred to the experience as a rebirth. He became a psychologist, taught at Harvard, and lectured in the U.S. and Europe.
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Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" at Shortform .
Here's what you'll find in our full The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck summary :
- How to clarify what's important to you (and not just what you think should be important)
- Why it's okay for things to not always go well in life
- Why you need to care about fewer things
