Receiving Gifts Love Language: The Single Best Gift

This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading.

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How do you show love to someone whose primary love language is receiving gifts? According to Gary Chapman’s framework in The 5 Love Languages, giving thoughtful presents demonstrates that you’ve been thinking about your partner. The effort and intention behind the gift matter more than its monetary value.

Your physical presence can also function as a gift. Showing up during a crisis, attending an important event, or simply being there when your partner needs you communicates love through availability and sacrifice. Continue reading to learn everything you need to know about the receiving gifts love language.

Originally Published: September 7, 2019
Last Updated: December 6, 2025

Speaking the Receiving Gifts Love Language

Chapman explains that someone whose love language is receiving gifts perceives giving a gift as a symbol of love. A gift equates to thought, and to a person with this love language, that thought is felt as love. For example, a small present brought back from a business trip makes your partner feel special because you were thinking of them.

Additionally, for a person with this love language, the type of gift is less important than the effort to procure it and the desire to give it. A diamond bracelet will elicit the same response as a crocheted scarf. The feeling it evokes will still be one of being loved enough to receive something from you.

(Shortform note: In contrast to Chapman’s advice, some experts argue that the gift itself does matter, especially in close relationships. If you don’t know someone well, any gift will likely convey the sentiment you’re trying to show. However, if you’re giving a gift to your partner, it’s important to try to get them something they’ll genuinely enjoy. This does more than show you were thinking about them in the moment—it also shows you’ve been paying attention to what they like and what they need, which makes the gift that much more meaningful.)

Sometimes, your mere presence is the gift your partner needs, says Chapman. If they’re in crisis, you being there as a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board, or a comforting presence is enough to represent your love for them. Prioritizing a request for your presence over your work or any previous plans you may have made shows them how much their feelings matter to you.

(Shortform note: Giving someone the gift of your presence may be hard to distinguish from quality time—however, according to some experts, the difference is that gifting someone your presence is simply about physically being there for them, whereas quality time is defined by the activities you engage in while you’re together. It’s good to note that crises aren’t the only times you can show love through the gift of your presence. It can also help to attend performances or events your partner’s involved in and to show up on time for dates. Celebrating an event with your partner is a way to give them the gift of your presence—as well as the presence of others if you choose to invite guests.)

The Gift Giver

If your partner speaks this love language, you may feel pressure to buy things all the time. Maybe you are not a natural gift-giver or have not received many love language gifts in your life. The Receiving Gifts love language is one of the easiest languages to master.

Everyone has given love language gifts to their loved ones. Birthdays, Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine’s Day, and other holidays all carry traditions of giving gifts. For these occasions, you likely had to put some intentional thought into what to get your partner.

Past gifts can help you understand how to fill your partner’s love tank.

Think about gifts your partner was really excited about, whether from you or others.
If you aren’t sure which love language gifts your partner likes, ask family and friends what they remember. Or, ask them what they think your partner will like.

Beyond these occasions, giving love language gifts at random can fill your partner’s tank even more. People expect to receive gifts on certain days of the year. At these times, the quality of the gift may be the focus. In contrast, love language gifts given without a particular reason are acknowledged more for the symbolism.

A found or handmade love language gift given for no reason shows your partner you care and think about them often.

For example, planting your partner’s favorite flower or vegetable in your yard is a gift they can cherish many times over.
If your partner loves Fall, bringing home a beautiful leaf tells them you know who they are and want to bring joy to their lives.

Sometimes, however, it is necessary to spend money on love language gifts. If spending money is not a comfortable or enjoyable activity for you, you may feel resentful of a partner who speaks the Receiving Gifts love language. You may not understand why you need to spend money for your partner to feel loved. You may feel like sacrificing your security is too great a hardship.

But if your partner speaks the Receiving Gifts love language, spending money is an investment in your security. Speaking your partner’s love language is not about you. It’s about what they need.
The love your gift will bring can satisfy them in a way nothing else will. That satisfaction can translate into a happy relationship.

The Single Best Gift for Speakers of the Receiving Gifts Love Language

The gift of you is sometimes the best love language gift you can give. This gift involves making yourself available in times of need or prioritizing your partner over other obligations when the moment requires.

For instance, if Thursday nights are your weekly poker nights with friends but your partner has come home upset and needs to talk, forgoing your poker night to stay with them can be an immense expression of love.
Likewise, if your partner must visit an ailing parent in the hospital, offering or agreeing to go with them can symbolize your love more than anything else.

Your physical presence and sacrifice become love language gifts. Your partner will understand the meaning of you being there, and their love tank will fill up.

If you refuse to give up your poker night or don’t realize the importance of being there for your partner during a difficult time, the resulting feeling will be of lack for your partner. The feeling of love will diminish. The memory will be of not receiving love.

Even if you do not understand the importance of your presence, a request from a partner who speaks the Receiving Gifts love language of Receiving Gifts is significant. If your intention is to show more love to your partner, obliging their request will help you achieve just that.

The Receiving Gifts love language differs from Quality Time in that a partner who speaks Receiving Gifts is not wholly interested in dedicated moments spent together. Instead, they appreciate the gift of your presence when they are in need of it.

How to Receive Gifts

If you speak the Receiving Gifts love language, receiving love language gifts from your partner makes you feel special. You become filled with love because you know they were thinking of you. If your partner doesn’t give you love language gifts often, the depth of your love feelings may be shallow. You may not truly feel loved.

If your language is the Receiving Gifts love language, it is important for you to communicate this to your partner. You are not a mind reader, so you cannot expect your partner to be. Don’t expect them to understand how important something is to you or how much you enjoy tangible expressions of love.

When you do receive a small love language gift, let them know how much it means to you.

Show them how loved you feel.
If they see how special their gesture made you feel, they will want to make you feel that way again.

If you desire your partner’s presence, make sure they understand how important their being there is to you.

You might say, “I’d really appreciate it if you came to the hospital with me” or “I don’t want to go through this alone.”
If they comply, make sure to show your appreciation.
If your partner took off work to comfort you during a time of crisis, tell them how much them being there meant or how it made you feel.

The more you can communicate your brand of love to your partner, the more equipped they will be to express it.

Receiving Gifts Love Language: The Single Best Gift