This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "The Daily Laws" by Robert Greene. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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What are people really thinking? What are their true emotions? What if you could know?
According to Robert Greene, power dynamics play a role in all areas of life. You must learn how to navigate them to get what you want. To use power dynamics to your advantage, you must first develop a realistic understanding of human nature. That requires you to get past a person’s facade.
Continue reading to learn how to read a person and understand who they truly are and what they really want.
Reading the Person Behind the Mask
In public, everyone wears a mask that hides unpleasant emotions and socially unacceptable behaviors like hatred to avoid disagreement or rejection. To gain power, use these truths about human nature to learn how to read a person. Then you’ll know the true emotions behind the masks, and you’ll have more direction in your social interactions.
(Shortform note: Malcolm Gladwell explains why we tend to naturally assume that people present themselves truthfully. In Talking to Strangers, he argues that this assumption of transparency is a social adaptation that allows people to communicate quickly with one another. Like Greene, Gladwell points out that always assuming transparency in others can be problematic, yet he asserts it’s a necessary approach when interacting with strangers. He argues that if we all distrusted every interaction, our social lives would be difficult to navigate.)
Greene writes that, to read people’s true emotions, you must develop empathy—the ability to see from another person’s perspective. This allows you to view people more rationally, rather than through the filter of your own emotions, and to distinguish allies from rivals. To develop empathy, refrain from judging others immediately based on how they look or behave. Instead, accumulate concrete evidence to better understand people’s true feelings and intentions.
(Shortform note: Greene focuses on empathy as a tool for reading people, but empathizing with others is also key to building trust, which Evy Poumpouras argues is necessary if you want to influence others. In Becoming Bulletproof, Poumpouras writes that interacting with others without empathy might lead them to be suspicious and defensive, which can make it harder to influence them.)
Greene offers three tips on how to read people.
Tip 1: Consider Past Behaviors
Greene says you should judge people based on their past actions rather than on their words or reputation because their words and reputation might make someone appear kind or generous when they’re actually not. Past patterns of behavior, however, reflect the truth. For example, someone might say that they value generosity, but in the past, you’ve seen that they never tip at restaurants.
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Here's what you'll find in our full The Daily Laws summary:
- Why our beliefs tend to leave us feeling unhappy and unfulfilled
- How to attune yourself to the reality of how the world really works
- How to manage your emotions and develop rationality
