This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Everything Is Figureoutable" by Marie Forleo. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
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What is a personal network? Why is having a personal network important?
A personal network consists of relationships with people who have similar issues and are supportive of one another. Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo discusses how a personal network can improve your life and push out the critics.
Keep reading to learn how to ignore the critics and build a supportive environment.
How to Deal With Critics
Before learning how to build a personal network, you need to understand why a network is necessary in the first place. People are prone to judging others—and so you must accept that you will inevitably face criticism. This criticism may be hurtful, but it’s not inherently a bad thing: Some criticism is constructive and can help you improve if you listen to it well. For example, your boss may suggest that you reply to emails more promptly because your delayed responses make people think you don’t care about their requests.
So how should you respond when you encounter criticism? Forleo recommends that you first determine whether it’s constructive or purely hurtful. To do so, consider who is criticizing you and your relationship with them. If you care about this person’s opinion, consider adjusting your behavior as they think you should. If not, try not to let their criticism affect you. Consider making a joke and laughing off their comments. Alternatively, since unwanted criticism often comes from people who are discontent in their own lives, choose to be sad for them rather than letting their comments enrage you.
How to Garner Support
On the opposite end of the spectrum, Forleo explains that if you want to live like things are figureoutable, it’s better to have connections with people who also believe in this philosophy. The more support you have, the more likely your network will include people whose expertise you can draw on to overcome challenges—and even if their expertise isn’t helpful in a particular situation, having supportive friends increases your resilience.
(Shortform note: In Who Will Cry When You Die?, Robin Sharma also encourages having a positive, growth-minded network. This is because while you can’t possibly accrue all the experiences you need to pursue your purpose firsthand, you can gain the learning you’d acquire from those experiences second-hand from others. Sharma recommends building an active group of three to four people who offer mutual support in achieving goals and that you meet weekly with this group to talk through current challenges.)
So how can you ensure that your connections remain supportive? Prioritize your relationships so that if you need to call on your loved ones for advice, they’re happy to help you. Tell your friends and colleagues about Forleo’s ideas. And model “figureoutable” behavior at work so that your behavior might rub off on others and inspire them to focus on solutions rather than challenges.
(Shortform note: In Barking Up the Wrong Tree, Barker offers more specific recommendations for ensuring that you prioritize your relationships. He suggests that you first imagine how much time you’d like to spend doing four things: pursuing joy, reaching your goals, connecting with others, and making an impact—all elements of a successful life. Then, review your current schedule to figure out how much you’re spending on each element now, and adjust your schedule to fit your ideal. By doing so, you’ll ensure that you have sufficient time available for your loved ones and won’t neglect them in favor of other priorities (like work).)
To illustrate the power of having a support system of people who also believe that all issues are solvable, Forleo describes a crisis that she faced in her business: She and her team had a promotional campaign planned around several interviews they’d filmed in Europe, but all their equipment—including their footage—was stolen shortly before the deadline. They weren’t able to change the deadline because they already had many partners onboard. Instead, living Forleo’s philosophy, the team banded together to come up with solutions. They returned to Europe to re-film the interviews and successfully met their deadline.
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Here's what you'll find in our full Everything Is Figureoutable summary:
- How to apply the "everything is figureoutable" philosophy to your life
- How you can achieve your dreams and overcome all obstacles
- How to respond when you encounter criticism
