Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Quotes

This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man" by Steve Harvey. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.

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Are you looking for Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man quotes? How can these quotes better help you understand the minds of men?

In his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey’s goal is to help women navigate relationships better by explaining how men think. He says that men are simple and if you understand their needs, then your relationship will last.

Keep reading for five Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man quotes.

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Quotes by Steve Harvey

Navigating the adult dating scene can sometimes feel hopeless because men and women have different needs when it comes to life and love. In Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey attempts to expose the mystery of what men need, how they think, and how they behave when it comes to dating women and forming lasting relationships.

Here are five Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man quotes from Steve Harvey that encompass the main points in the book:

“There is no truer statement: men are simple. Get this into your head first, and everything you learn about us in this book will begin to fall into place. Once you get that down, you’ll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes). These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood—the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he’s truly fulfilled his destiny as a man. And until he’s achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you’re dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you.”

What Harvey is saying is that men are simple creatures and are motivated by three things in life: who they are, what they do, and how much they make. Everything men do is aimed at discovering these three things in their life, and until they have them figured out, they have no bandwidth for serious relationships. If you’re with a man who is still figuring out his life, no matter how he feels about you, he won’t be ready to settle down

“Here’s a generalization but in my experience, it’s true. Women love to sit and talk for no apparent reason but to talk, but we men, we’re just not cut out to chitchat for the sake of chitchat—we don’t have time for it. We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period.”

There are four words that no man ever wants to hear—we need to talk. Why do men have such a strong adverse reaction to these words? Because they mean one of two things: 1) “I’ve done something wrong and am about to hear about it,” or 2) “I’m going to have to sit here for an hour listening to her vent about something I don’t care about.” This reaction may not be fair or considerate, but this is what men hear, and neither option is appealing. 

“Stop heaping your own definition of love on men and recognize that men love differently.”

One of the best things you can do to have a happy relationship with men is learn how men love, which differs from how women love. A woman’s love is sweet, kind, compassionate, passionate, and on display for the world to see. A man’s love can be boiled down to three actions, or the Three P’s of Love: Profess, Provide, and Protect. If you can understand these three aspects, you’ll see more clearly when a man does and doesn’t love you. And if he does love you, you’ll recognize just how much he does in his own way.

“A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. See, men are, by nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey. 

Harvey’s “sports fish” and “keeper fish” analogy essentially means that within the dating kingdom, men have been told it’s their responsibility to pursue women, and women have been told to let themselves be pursued. Since this is the acceptable scenario, you can understand how a man chooses a woman to pursue through the lens of fishing.  When a man meets a woman, he’ll either catch her for sport and move on or take her home for good.

“…if he loves you, he will profess it, he will provide for you, and he will protect you. If he really loves you, the ultimate profession is, “This is my wife.”

In this quote, Harvey is explaining his Three Ps of Love. He says that there are three ways a man shows his love: professing, providing, and protecting. If your man does these three things for you, you can be sure he is factoring you into his future. 

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Quotes

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Here's what you'll find in our full Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man summary:

  • How to navigate the adult dating scene
  • What men need, how they think, and how they behave when it comes to relationships
  • How women can gain an advantage and find the right man to fulfill their desires

Hannah Aster

Hannah graduated summa cum laude with a degree in English and double minors in Professional Writing and Creative Writing. She grew up reading books like Harry Potter and His Dark Materials and has always carried a passion for fiction. However, Hannah transitioned to non-fiction writing when she started her travel website in 2018 and now enjoys sharing travel guides and trying to inspire others to see the world.

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