Are you ready to love yourself like you deserve? What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with yourself?
In The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins explains that you can use the Let Them Theory to improve the relationship you have with yourself. She notes that you are the only person that you’re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with, and you owe it to yourself to make your happiness and dreams a priority.
If you’re ready to build the best relationship with yourself, keep reading.
Build a Healthier Relationship With Yourself
When you let other people do what they want to do (and resolve to not allow them to determine what you do), you decide to build the life you want without worrying about other people’s approval or validation. Robbins notes you can use “Let Them” and “Let Me” to give yourself the power to become your own source of happiness, to define what’s important to you, and to take control of how you work to turn your reality into the life you want.
The Limits of Self-Help in an Unequal World
Robbins’s advice for building a healthy relationship with yourself through The Let Them Theory offers powerful psychological tools for individual empowerment. Yet it raises an important question that haunts all self-help literature: How much control do we truly have over our well-being when structural barriers stand in our way?
Research reveals a sobering reality: While psychological techniques can help individuals cope with difficult circumstances, they can’t overcome fundamental inequities. A study found that nearly 90% of people with household incomes over $100,000 described themselves as flourishing, compared to less than half of those earning under $30,000. Similarly, more white participants reported flourishing than Black participants, regardless of their mindset or psychological practices.
This doesn’t invalidate Robbins’s approach but places it in necessary context. The ability to let go of others’ opinions and focus on your values presupposes certain conditions—like not having to worry about food security, housing stability, or systemic discrimination. Robbins’s framework might work best when combined with an understanding that flourishing requires both individual agency and structural support. “Let Them” and “Let Me” can be transformative tools for reclaiming personal power, especially in interpersonal relationships. But the most complete approach to well-being acknowledges both our personal responsibility for growth and the societal conditions that make that growth possible.
