This article is an excerpt from the Shortform book guide to "Hard Times Create Strong Men" by Stefan Aarnio. Shortform has the world's best summaries and analyses of books you should be reading.
Like this article? Sign up for a free trial here.
What makes a man strong? Is strength purely defined by physicality?
According to Stefan Aarnio in Hard Times Create Strong Men, strength is much more than just being in top physical shape. Being a strong man means taking control of your actions and being comfortable with your emotions.
Let’s look at what truly makes a man strong and powerful.
What Makes a Strong Man?
Aarnio argues that what makes a man strong is determined by if he embraces ownership of every aspect of his life. While a weak man ignores his problems or blames them on someone else (like his family or the government), a strong man accepts that he is the only person who can solve his problems and actively works toward doing so.
(Shortform note: In The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, Mark Manson agrees that people should take ownership of their lives. However, he argues that everyone—not just men— should do so to feel happier and more in control of their lives (not because they need to be strong). Additionally, Manson highlights the reality that even if you choose to ignore your problems or blame them on someone else, you’re not effectively avoiding responsibility: Ignoring your problems or blaming them on others is still a choice for which you’re responsible. Therefore, the question isn’t whether you take responsibility for your decisions but what values you base those decisions on.)
Aarnio adds that strong men command respect—both from women, who view them as sexually desirable, and other men, who view them as a leader. Crucially, this respect does not stem from viewing him as “kind” or a “good person”—the definitions of which differ depending on what your culture values. Rather, this respect stems from universally appreciated virtues: A strong man always accomplishes what he says he will, no matter what. In contrast, weak men don’t command respect; notably, women are not sexually monogamous with weak men.
| How to Command Respect Despite Aarnio’s claim that strong men command respect by having universally appreciated virtues, studies suggest that there may be no universally appreciated virtues. One study found that honesty, respect, kindness, openness, and tolerance were valued by many—but not all—nations, prompting the study authors to deem those virtues “relatively universal.” So if, depending on your culture, always doing what you say you will doesn’t command great respect, how can you ensure that you become a strong man who’s sexually desirable and respected by others? In The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz suggests that the key is to respect yourself. If you truly believe you’re an important and valuable person, you’ll act with importance—which will lead others to react to you with respect and deference. |
———End of Preview———
Like what you just read? Read the rest of the world's best book summary and analysis of Stefan Aarnio's "Hard Times Create Strong Men" at Shortform.
Here's what you'll find in our full Hard Times Create Strong Men summary:
- Why modern Western men are weak, leading to civilization decline
- How to be a strong man at work and in relationships
- Why pickup artistry doesn't lead to fulfilling relationships
