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A Guide to Friendships: The Secrets to Lifelong Bonds (2025)

, by Katie Doll
Two friends hanging out and enjoying each other's company

Healthy friendships are the cornerstone of a happy life for many people. They serve as stress buffers, career catalysts, and personal growth accelerators. The right friends will emotionally support you during tough challenges, as well as celebrate your successes. When a friendship is easy, then you won’t even have to think twice about being there for each other during the lowest and highest moments.

Our friendship guide dives deep into mastering your relationships, covering everything from making authentic connections to transitioning from the friend zone to the romantic stage. We’ll explore how to set and respect boundaries, as well as explore communication secrets from famous friendships. With expert insights from books like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and Marisa Franco’s Platonic, you’ll have the most practical tools to improve your social connections.

Table of Contents

The Importance of Friendships

Friendships shape who you are more than you think. The importance of friendships extends far beyond casual hangouts and shared laughs. These relationships fundamentally impact your mental health, career success, and overall life trajectory.

Strong friendships are a powerful way to release stress. When you’re going through tough times, good friends can be a shoulder to cry on. Even better, they’ll listen and help you navigate problems without judgment. They offer perspective when you’re overwhelmed and celebrate your wins when you succeed. This emotional safety net is essential for your psychological well-being. When you give the same attention in return, the relationship becomes mutually beneficial to all parties involved.

Your workplace friendships deserve special attention, too. Having genuine connections with colleagues makes you more engaged and productive. Plus, you’re less likely to experience burnout when you have trusted allies at work. These relationships often lead to better collaboration, increased job satisfaction, and even career advancement opportunities.

But here’s the catch: not all friends influence you positively. Those who drain your energy or enable bad habits can hold you back from reaching your potential or be a negative influence on your mental health. That’s why you need to pick and choose your friends wisely. Quality trumps quantity every time. You don’t need dozens of friends to reap these benefits. A few deep, meaningful connections provide more value than numerous superficial relationships. 

Choose friends who:

  • Share similar values and aspirations
  • Support your personal growth
  • Communicate honestly and openly
  • Respect your boundaries

Your friend circle is essentially your personal board of directors. They influence your choices, challenge your thinking, and help shape your future. Understanding this power means you can be more intentional about nurturing relationships that truly serve your best interests.

Learn more about the importance of friendships in detail with these Shortform articles:

How to Make Friends

Building meaningful friendships requires intention, skill, and the right approach. Learning how to make new friends is about developing genuine connections that enrich your life. The techniques below will help you attract the right people and build lasting relationships that stand the test of time.

1. Make Yourself Genuinely Likable

Your likability factor determines how easily people connect with you. You don’t want to change who you are for people to like you—the right friends will want you in their lives for you. But there are ways to deliberately show off your best qualities to attract people to you.

First, focus on developing authentic charm rather than trying to impress others. You can do this by showing genuine interest in people’s stories and experiences, and follow-up questions that show you’re truly listening. People are drawn to those who make them feel valued and understood. Small gestures like remembering details from previous conversations demonstrate how much you care about the person. Finally, share your own vulnerabilities, if appropriate, to create deeper bonds. Finding common ground tells the other person that they don’t feel alone, and you’d be a good friend to confide in.

2. Master Your Nonverbal Communication

Your body language speaks louder than words when meeting new people. Tense body language could tell others that you’re stressed around them, which may be a turn-off. Your nonverbal cues can either invite connection or create barriers, so practice being aware of the signals you’re sending in social situations. 

Here are ways to send off positive vibes through body language:

  • Relax your posture by keeping your arms uncrossed and your shoulders down.
  • Make appropriate eye contact to show engagement without being intimidating. 
  • Mirror the other person’s energy level and speaking pace to build rapport naturally. 
  • Pay attention to your facial expressions—genuine smiles and animated responses make you more approachable. 
  • Stand or sit at a comfortable distance that respects personal space.

3. Choose Quality People Wisely

We mentioned above that the wrong friends can end up doing more harm than good. While you’re making connections with people, keep an eye out for any red flags that might indicate they won’t be a good influence on your life. Not everyone deserves a place in your inner circle, and that’s okay. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. 

Avoid people who consistently drain your energy or discourage your goals. People who are jealous of your successes or try to sabotage them don’t deserve your friendship. Seek friends who genuinely want to see you succeed and grow. These individuals should share similar values, even if their interests differ from yours. Remember, it can be exciting to make friends with people who don’t enjoy all the same things you do. This opens doors for you to try new hobbies or activities.

4. Carefully Seek Friends Through Online Platforms 

Digital spaces offer unique opportunities to connect with like-minded people. If you’re having a hard time finding friends in real life, join online communities centered around your hobbies, career interests, or personal values. Online platforms can be a great starting point for deeper relationships. The key is translating these interactions into real-world friendships through video calls, meetups, or shared activities. 

Tips for navigating online friendships:

  • Participate in discussions rather than just lurking. 
  • Share helpful content and engage authentically with others’ posts. 
  • Use social media to maintain connections with people you meet offline. 
  • Consider attending virtual events or joining online groups that align with your interests. 

Learn more about making new friends in detail with these Shortform articles:

How to Be a Good Friend

Friendships require deliberate effort and care to flourish. Understanding how to be a good friend involves strengthening your existing relationships and helping them thrive over time. The following tips will help you become the kind of friend others cherish and turn to when it matters most.

Tip #1: Stay Connected

Regular communication is the backbone of strong friendships. You don’t need daily contact, but touching base consistently keeps relationships alive and meaningful. The key is finding a rhythm that works for both of you. Some friends prefer frequent casual contact, while others value deeper but occasional conversations. Pay attention to their communication style and match their energy.

Tips for staying connected to friends:

  • Send quick texts to check in during busy weeks. 
  • Schedule regular coffee dates or phone calls to catch up properly. 
  • Share interesting articles, memes, or photos that remind you of your friends. 
  • Remember important events in their lives and follow up afterward. 

Tip #2: Give Meaningful Compliments

Authentic praise strengthens friendships and boosts your friend’s confidence. Your words should make them feel seen and valued for who they truly are, not who you think they should become. To show how much you notice them, focus on specific qualities or actions rather than generic statements. Compliment their character traits like kindness, creativity, or resilience. For example, if they complete a large individual project at school or work, send them a text praising them for their accomplishment. Timing also matters—offer encouragement when they’re doubting themselves or celebrate when they succeed. Lastly, keep in mind to avoid backhanded compliments or comparing them to others. 

Tip #3: Offer Support During Difficult Times

True friendship reveals itself during difficult moments. Nobody expects you to have the answer for everything, but your presence and willingness to help matter more than having flawless advice. There are several ways to go about showing support—you just need to find out what your friend needs at that moment.

Ways to help a friend in need:

  • When your friend faces challenges, show up without being asked.
  • Listen without immediately trying to fix their problems. Sometimes people just need someone to hear them out. 
  • Offer specific help rather than vague promises like “let me know if you need anything.”
  • Bring dinner during their stressful week or offer to run errands when they’re overwhelmed. 
  • Avoid making their problems about you or sharing similar stories unless they ask. 
  • Be patient with their healing process and continue checking in long after the initial crisis passes.

Tip #4: Maintain Friendships Through Life’s Changes

Friendships naturally evolve as circumstances shift. Friends will move, change jobs, or enter new life phases. Changes can be challenging to get through, but if they’re a great friend, it’s worth working harder to keep them in your life. The strongest friendships survive these changes by prioritizing the relationship over convenience and embracing new ways to stay close.

How to navigate big changes in friendships:

  • Make the extra effort during major transitions like marriage, parenthood, or career changes. 
  • Adapt your friendship style to fit their current needs and availability. 
  • Don’t take it personally when they have less time or energy for socializing. 
  • Find new ways to connect that work with their schedule, like texts or video calls instead of in-person meet-ups.

Tip #5: Continuously Improve Existing Friendships 

Even good friendships need fine-tuning every once in a while. Like any relationship, friendships aren’t going to be perfect and will likely hit rough patches. To avoid throwing away a perfectly good friendship, address small issues before they become major problems. You might need to have transparent conversations about expectations and boundaries. 

If you feel as though you were in the wrong, be willing to apologize. If it’s the other way around, be forgiving if it’s something you can reasonably get past. The key to moving past these hurdles is regular friendship check-ins. They can help you express your needs and celebrate what’s working well in your relationship.

Learn more about being a good friend with these Shortform articles:

Boundaries in Friendships

We mentioned talking about boundaries with your friends in the previous section. Boundaries in friendships can be tricky, but they’re crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Nobody should be compromising their own needs and values to be liked. The liking bias often makes you more susceptible to manipulation, so setting clear limits protects both your emotional well-being and your friendship’s integrity.

Being too nice can actually damage your relationships. When you constantly say yes to everything, you may enable unhealthy dynamics and lose respect from others. Your friends might start taking advantage of your generosity, creating resentment on both sides. Saying no to things you’re uncomfortable with, or simply don’t have the time for, strengthens your connections rather than weakening them.

Your opinions and beliefs also need boundaries. Forcing your views on others creates tension and pushes people away. Respecting different perspectives while maintaining your own values requires careful balance:

  • Set clear expectations early in friendships
  • Recognize when the liking bias influences your decision-making
  • Practice saying no to requests that compromise your values
  • Avoid pushing your opinions on others aggressively
  • Trust friends gradually rather than immediately

Additionally, you need to be careful about lending people money, even if they are your friends. Lending cash to friends can destroy relationships faster than almost anything else. Financial stress changes dynamics and creates uncomfortable power imbalances. You should establish clear policies about money before situations arise, not during emotional moments. But if you already have healthy boundaries, this shouldn’t be a problem. 

Learn more about boundaries in friendships with these Shortform articles:

When Friendship and Romance Mix

What happens when a friendship evolves into a romance? The friends-to-lovers arc isn’t just something you read about in novels. Friendship and romance are more closely related than you might think. That doesn’t mean every friendship has romantic undertones, but marriages thrive when there’s a friendship at the foundation.

The strongest couples don’t just love each other—they genuinely enjoy spending time together. They share inside jokes, support each other’s dreams, and maintain individual identities while growing together. The couples who have lasted decades often credit their success to treating each other as their closest confidant. Given this, you need to express needs clearly, listen without judgment, and address conflicts before they fester. Honest conversations build trust and deepen intimacy. 

The most fulfilling relationships combine emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and genuine enjoyment of each other’s company. This is the person you possibly want to spend the rest of your life with, make big financial decisions with, and see you through your ups and downs. You should be able to love them at a platonic level, just as much as you do on a romantic level.

Learn more about combining friendships and romance with these Shortform articles:

Famous Friends

There have been many famous friends throughout history who show how meaningful these connections can be. Friendships have shaped some of the most influential figures across literature, politics, entertainment, and business. What’s even more comforting is knowing that the most accomplished individuals still rely on trusted companions to navigate life’s challenges.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway’s friendship began in 1920s Paris, where both writers were establishing their careers. Fitzgerald actually helped launch Hemingway’s career by recommending his work to publishers. However, their friendship became increasingly strained over time due to professional jealousy and personal struggles, and it should be a cautionary tale about letting success get in the way of relationships. 

Key takeaways:

  • Fitzgerald mentored Hemingway early in his career
  • Both writers influenced each other’s literary styles significantly
  • Their relationship deteriorated due to Fitzgerald’s drinking and financial troubles
  • Hemingway later wrote critically about Fitzgerald in his memoir
  • Their friendship illustrates how creative partnerships can be both inspiring and destructive

Gertrude Stein and Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway also had a fascinating friendship with novelist and poet Gertrude Stein. She served as both mentor and mother figure to Hemingway in Paris. Stein’s salon became a gathering place for expatriate artists and writers. Her influence on Hemingway’s writing style was profound, though their relationship eventually soured over artistic disagreements.

Key takeaways:

  • Stein coined the term “Lost Generation” to describe Hemingway’s contemporaries
  • She provided crucial feedback on Hemingway’s early manuscripts
  • Their friendship ended bitterly over personal and professional conflicts
  • Stein’s avant-garde approach influenced Hemingway’s minimalist style
  • Their relationship demonstrates how mentorship can shape artistic development

Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart

Despite their differences, actors Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Kevin Hart have built a genuine bond that extends beyond their professional collaborations. Their playful social media interactions and mutual support show how famous friends can maintain authentic relationships while building their brands together.

Key takeaways:

  • Their friendship began through Hollywood networking and mutual respect
  • They’ve starred in multiple blockbuster films together
  • Their social media banter has become legendary among fans
  • Both support each other’s business ventures and personal projects
  • Their relationship proves that genuine friendship can thrive in competitive industries

Warren Buffett’s Circle of Influential Companions

Warren Buffett has cultivated meaningful friendships throughout his investing career. His relationships with figures like Charlie Munger and Bill Gates demonstrate how successful people surround themselves with equally driven individuals. These friendships have influenced major business decisions and philanthropic efforts worth billions of dollars.

Key takeaways:

  • Buffett’s partnership with Charlie Munger spans over five decades
  • His friendship with Bill Gates led to massive charitable collaborations
  • These relationships have shaped some of the world’s largest investment decisions
  • Buffett prioritizes loyalty and shared values in his friendships
  • His inner circle demonstrates the power of long-term relationship building

Barack Obama and Joe Biden

Barack Obama and Joe Biden went from political colleagues to genuine friends during their White House years. Their relationship comes from a place of professional respect to deep personal affection, creating one of the most memorable partnerships in modern politics. Their continued friendship demonstrates how shared challenges can forge lasting bonds.

Key takeaways:

  • Their friendship deepened during Obama’s presidential campaign and presidency
  • They supported each other through personal tragedies and political challenges
  • Their relationship became a cultural phenomenon, inspiring memes and admiration
  • Both men credit their friendship with helping them navigate political pressures
  • Their bond illustrates how professional relationships can become deeply personal

Learn more about famous friendships with these Shortform articles:

Books on Friendship

This collection of books on friendship will give you everything you need to know about creating and maintaining platonic relationships. From mastering nonverbal communication to handling financial boundaries, these books tackle real challenges you face in relationships and how to overcome them for a true human connection.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading our guide about friendships! We hope it gives you the comprehensive knowledge you need to make new friends or express your boundaries in an established friendship. As the Shortform library grows, check back every once in a while for an updated version of the guide with even more advice from acclaimed experts.

FAQ

Why is friendship important?

Strong friendships support mental health, reduce stress, improve career outcomes, and help you grow personally.

How do I make meaningful friendships?

Focus on being genuinely likable, showing interest in others, mirroring positive nonverbal cues, and connecting with people who share your values.

How can I be a good friend?

Stay connected, offer support during difficult times, give meaningful compliments, and adapt as life circumstances change.

What kind of boundaries should I set in friendships?

Friendship boundaries include saying no when necessary, protecting your emotional well-being, avoiding enabling harmful behavior, and respecting differing opinions.

Can friendships turn into romantic relationships?

Yes, some friendships can eventually become romantic. Relationships built on a foundation of genuine friendship often have stronger emotional intimacy, trust, and mutual respect.

How do I handle friendships that drain me?

Recognize red flags, limit interactions with negative influences, and focus on relationships that support your growth.

Are famous friendships any different from ours?

Not really. Even high-profile friendships rely on trust, loyalty, communication, and shared values—just like everyday friendships.

Katie Doll

Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.

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