Start With Yourself: The Mindset That Built an Empire | Emma Grede

Emma Grede’s path to success is grounded in mindset, emotional management, and a steadfast belief in herself, shaped by early adversity and an unwavering commitment to personal growth.

Transforming Emotions Into Tools Rather Than Identity

At 19, Emma identified that her anger was detrimental and sought out anger management counseling to learn healthier emotional responses. This was a proactive decision, even though anger still remained a part of her emotional landscape. Over time, Emma’s experience taught her to see emotions as experiences, not definitions of her identity. As a child, she assumed that her emotions were who she was, with no distinction between a feeling and her sense of self. Through conscious effort and self-education, she learned to detach her reactions from her identity, an evolution crucial to her later success.

Emma describes training herself not to eliminate fear, guilt, sadness, or anger, but to discern which emotions are useful and which are not. She now interprets failures not as indictments of her character, but as opportunities for growth and lessons from life. When she encounters fear and uncertainty, she sees them as signals of potential growth and breakthrough, seeking out these feelings as catalysts for new achievements. This ability to manage emotions, rather than being dominated by them, underpins her resilience and ambition.

Trusting Intuition Over External Pressure or Doubt

Intuition is central to Emma’s decision-making. She describes how gut feelings have guided her through major moments, from relationships to business decisions. When she met her future husband, she instantly sensed he was the right person, regardless of circumstances. Likewise, in business, she resisted the urge to sell her company to the wrong buyer despite external pressures, trusting her instinct that it was not the right move. Years later, she was proven correct.

Emma emphasizes never making significant decisions while feeling doubt, and she is adamantly not a people pleaser. She says this trait has been present since childhood—she simply isn’t “wired that way.” Instead of seeking to appease others, Emma listens to her own intuition, acting on “weird feelings” and being willing to walk away from opportunities or situations that do not align with her inner sense.

Measuring Success by Personal Values, Not Others' Opinions

Emma focuses on measuring success by her own vision, principles, and values rather than external criticism or the desire to please others. She is careful to evaluate herself by the type of mother, leader, and person she wants to be, and not by society’s expectations. While acknowledging that people will always have opinions, Emma has learned to tune them out, understanding the futility of chasing approval.

She prioritizes her own happiness and fulfillment, recognizing that if she isn’t well, those around her can’t be either. As a mother of four, she unapologetically places herself at the top of her priority list, explaining that she must be good with herself above all else. When it comes to parenting, she commits to the moments that are most important to her and her children, ...

Emma Grede shares her journey from the challenging streets of East London to the boardrooms of global business, illustrating how grit, mindset, and intentional action transformed her life's trajectory.

Transforming Disadvantage Into Advantage Through Capability Mindset

Growing up as the eldest of four girls in Plasto, East London, Emma took on significant responsibilities early. By age 10 or 11, she was managing the household—waking her siblings, making lunches, ironing, and cooking dinner for five. Her leadership was born from necessity, as her single mother juggled raising several children after Emma’s father left when she was five. Emma describes this as “do or die”—helping out wasn’t a choice, but a fact of life that required everyone to contribute.

Emma’s mother instilled in her a foundational message: “You’re not better than anyone, but no one’s better than you.” This became Emma’s internal compass, even as she encountered peers from elite institutions like Eton and Harrow. She never saw herself as less capable, regardless of the prestige tied to others’ backgrounds or education. Instead, she believed her own unique skills and experiences would carve her path and “her stuff is going to be all right.”

Separating Temporary Circumstances From Permanent Identity

Emma’s father’s absence was never internalized as a verdict on her worth. She recognized early that her parents’ split was about their relationship, not her value. Therapeutic introspection as an adult only strengthened this outlook—she found no latent “daddy issues,” maintaining that her father leaving was not about her.

Her childhood was also graced by strong male influences, like her granddad and uncles, and an abundance of formidable women—her nan, mother, aunts—all working together and getting through life’s daily grind. Emma learned that women were incredibly capable and never believed a missing father would hold her back from love or strength within the family unit.

Importantly, Emma always felt her environment was not her destiny. Even as a poor child in a bleak neighborhood, she sensed she was meant for something more. She recognized her circumstances as temporary and imagined a possibility-filled future elsewhere.

Work Ethic and Action to Escape Limits

Emma's Childhood Jobs as Steps to Freedom

Emma’s relentless work ethic was a core part of her strategy for change. She took on any job she could find: paper routes, deli work, shop clerk positions, selling fireworks, and even peddling designer shirts to teachers at recess. Every opportunity was a step towards something more. For Emma, money symbolized freedom and agency—proof that she could shape her future.

She resolved to be the hardest worker, always with her hand up, volunteering for any task. She explains, “If you work really hard and don’t keep it a secret, great stuff is going to happen.” The visibility she created by saying “yes” to jobs and performing them w ...

Prioritizing Financial Goals Over Secondary Concerns

Emma Grede centers money in all her life plans, openly stating that she didn’t enjoy being poor and aspired to financial security and freedom—like ordering food without worrying about prices. She attributes her focus to seeing the vulnerability of financially dependent women and insists she was destined for success, always putting money at the core of her planning. Grede rejects the stigma around women discussing money, recounting how conversations among men routinely include investments, deals, and financial planning, whereas her female friends rarely discuss these topics due to lingering stigma. She recalls being told, even at a “Women, Power, and Money” panel, that she talked about money too much, highlighting persistent discomfort. Grede counters that if money is the goal, direct discussion is not only appropriate but necessary. Her boldness in demanding compensation is part of her philosophy: she combines audacity and relentless work ethic, never waiting for handouts but always asking confidently for her worth. She believes in negotiating firmly to secure deserved pay, regardless of experience or waiting for an offer—the correlation is clear in her mind: “effort in, product out, find the money.”

Visibility and Proximity Are Non-negotiable for Career Advancement

Grede makes visibility and proximity non-negotiable for career growth. She asserts that ambitious professionals must be physically present in the office to learn, build relationships, and seize opportunities. Virtual options like Zoom are insufficient for advancing ambitious careers, as staying visible to leadership is essential. She advocates candor about workplace expectations—if someone seeks a pay rise, they must be present and make themselves known; ambition requires honesty about what is needed to compete and succeed. Grede’s advice is direct: “You want to pay rise? I need to see you, like in the office. There’s no other way.”

Avoid the Trap Of Valuing Only Billion-Dollar Ventures

Emma Grede challenges the idea that only unicorn-sized, billion-dollar companies are valid, describing it as a dangerous position. She stresses that many small businesses are both legitimate and powerful—they support founders’ lifestyles, create jobs in their communities, and operate successfully with just a few employees. Grede urges entrepreneurs to distinguish between real external limitations and self-imposed mental barriers, noting that many people ho ...

Emma Grede shares her approach to relationships, marriage, and motherhood, emphasizing ambition, self-awareness, and deliberate decision-making rooted in her family and community experiences.

Prioritizing Ambition Over Compatibility in Partner Standards

Emma's Husband Search Mirrored Her Career: Clear Needs, No Compromises

Emma explains that her search for a husband was like her approach to her career: she knew exactly what she wanted and refused to compromise. She dated widely before settling down, holding fast to high standards for herself and her potential partner. Being ambitious and driven, Emma insists it would never have worked for her to be with someone who didn’t embrace her ambition or tried to change her.

She Knew He Was the One, Sharing Her Ambition and Embracing Her True Self

Emma met her husband when she was 24 and immediately sensed he was “the one.” Their connection was clear from the outset—her husband, long before their relationship began, became her first business investor. She started working for him and his business partner, and after about six months, branched out to launch her own company, with them as her initial investors. On the day they met, he wrote down an offer—detailing her equity share, profit share, and base salary—on a piece of paper she still keeps in her office. For Emma, the clarity and promise of this early professional agreement symbolized the respect and equality she expected in both business and life. Despite their initial complicated personal situations, Emma's certainty about their connection never wavered.

Job Offer Symbolized Respect as Equal Partner in Business and Life

That first job offer wasn’t just a business proposition—it established mutual respect and set the tone for an equal partnership, both professionally and personally. Although the offer was modest and required negotiation, Emma saw it as a lasting symbol of their shared ambitions.

Recognizing Quality Relationships Needs Differ Between People

Emma Values a Rich Tapestry of Relationships, Not Relying On one Person For Everything

Emma stresses that she does not rely on her husband to fulfill all her emotional needs. She cherishes a diverse network of relationships including her husband, family, sisters, friends, and colleagues, all of whom contribute to the “tapestry” of her life. Emma thrives in community and prefers in-person connection, intense conversations, and meaningful interactions.

Thrives In Community; Moving For Career Costs Daily Access to Places and People That Reflect Her True Self

The cost of her ambition and moving away from home has been losing some of the daily familiarity and comfort that make her truly herself. She finds the sacrifice of leaving behind close-knit connections is the “price of opportunity.” While professional success has required relocation and adaptation, she recognizes she has traded sentimental closeness for new opportunities and success.

Balanced Relationship Expectations

Emma believes it’s unfair and unrealistic to expect any one person to meet all our needs. She builds a support system and values balanced, varied relationships, understanding that her husband is her best friend, but that she needs more than just one person.

Creating Value-Aligned Motherhood Practices

Emma Prioritizes Waking Her Children, Bedtime, and Important Events—Refusing Daily Tasks Like Making Lunches or School Gate Duties

Emma is intentional about how she parents. She cherishes waking her children up in the morning and putting them to bed, and she is present for important events, like races or school plays. However, she does not do the daily school runs or make their lunches, nor does she stand at school gates each day. For her, this division is acceptable because she measures herself by her own standards—not by what others expect or what other parents do.

Parenting Is Not a Commitment Test, She Asserts

Emma rejects the notion that daily parenting tasks are a test of a mother’s commitment. She believes her children need a loving, reliable mother who is emotionally present, gives each child focused attention—about fifteen minutes a day—and trusts them with independence. She is wary of societal pressures to turn parenting into another form of ambition, arguing that such expectations are counterproductive and fuel unnecessary guilt.

Children Need a Loving, Reliable Mother Who Gives Each Child Fifteen Minutes of Attention Daily and Trusts Them to Proceed With Their Activities

Emma asserts that the most important thing she can provide is love, reliability, and genuine presence, even if brief. She believes children are quickly bored and move on, so extended parental guilt around constant presence is unnecessary.

Trade-Offs: Choosing Between Deep Desires, Not Avoiding Tasks

Building Significance While Raising Children: Trade-Offs Are Between Good and Good

Emma emphasizes that true life trade-offs are made between two deeply desired things—between good and good—not between what one wants and what one wishes to avoid. Choosing ambition or motherhood often means sacrificing precious aspects of both.

Opportunity's Cost: Sacrificing Familiarity With Loved Ones in London

Emma notes that leaving London and her close community cost her a sense of familiarity and connection, which she values deeply, but she consciously accepted this trade for the new opportunities she pursued.

Life in Seasons: Deliberate Intensity Choices

She sees her life in seasons of shifting intensities: there are periods when she is 200% focused on work, and others devoted more to family or recuperation, such as after having a new baby. She insists on making these intensity choices deliberately, based on her values and needs, rather than conforming to societal expectations.

Rejecting Criticism About Being a Successful Businesswoman and Good Mother

Emma Rejects the Id ...

Relocating From UK To USA As a Catalyst For Expansion

Emma Grede launched Good American in the UK, where it quickly found success. However, despite the company taking off, she found London constraining and sensed a ceiling to what she could achieve there. Her husband, Jens, encouraged her to move to Los Angeles, the epicenter of fashion, commerce, and possibility, to expand her horizons and opportunities. Although Emma had already built and sold two successful companies in England—making "tens of millions of dollars" and living the dream of owning homes in both London and the country—she risked leaving it all behind for something bigger, despite never fancying LA. Initially, she disliked the idea of moving, viewing LA as a place only for the entertainment industry and far removed from her London roots. Nonetheless, Emma decided to move to LA, thinking they would stay for three years and return to "civilization," but eight years later, she remains, transformed by the experience. She describes this relocation as a transformative chapter—not a break from her life in England, but an expansion that made her reconsider her own limitations and possibilities.

American Culture: Possibility and Meritocracy vs. British Class Systems

Emma saw London as cosmopolitan but ultimately small and locked by social class systems. In the UK, the social structure often turned education or background into a disadvantage if it didn't fit certain boxes. In contrast, upon arriving in America, she found a different dynamic: here, people cared about ideas and hard work rather than who you knew or how you spoke. She observed that “there is no judgment here…for me, that was very freeing because you come to a place and you're like, there's no baggage. I am whoever I want to be here." America allowed her to reimagine possibilities, with results and innovation valued over pedigree. Emma embodies the American Dream, achieving remarkable business success in eight or nine years, something she believes would not have been possible in Britain.

Speed, Appetite, and Willingness to Bet On People Accelerated Her Success in America

Emma credits the bold, fast-paced approach of American business culture for her accelerated growth. She describes American business as having a ...