Why Healing Your Past Won't Change Your Life
In this episode of The School of Greatness, Katherine Woodward Thomas and Lewis Howes explore how core limiting beliefs develop during childhood and influence adult life. They discuss how children form beliefs about themselves based on early experiences—sometimes even in the womb—and how these beliefs can create what Woodward Thomas calls an "inner glass ceiling" that affects relationships and opportunities.
The conversation examines the relationship between past experiences and future growth, introducing the concept of "future pull" as an alternative to dwelling on past trauma. Woodward Thomas explains how people can identify their "source fracture stories" without reliving trauma, and presents strategies for breaking free from limiting beliefs by developing new skills and responses to present situations. Through examples from both speakers' experiences, they demonstrate how changing self-perception can lead to personal transformation.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Jan 26, 2026 episode of the The School of Greatness
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1-Page Summary
The Origin and Impact of Core Limiting Beliefs
In a conversation between Katherine Woodward Thomas and Lewis Howes, they explore how core limiting beliefs form during childhood and shape our adult lives. Woodward Thomas explains that children, as "little meaning-making machines," develop beliefs about themselves based on early experiences, sometimes even in the womb, leading to feelings of inadequacy or powerlessness.
Understanding and Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
These early-formed beliefs become deeply ingrained in our identity, creating what Woodward Thomas calls an "inner glass ceiling." She identifies 22 core limiting beliefs that can sabotage relationships and opportunities, emphasizing the distinction between our "wise self" and "wounded self." Through personal examples, she illustrates how these beliefs can affect life choices, such as dating criteria, until consciously addressed.
Mindset Shift to Move Beyond the Past
While understanding past trauma is important, Woodward Thomas emphasizes that true transformation requires focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past. She introduces the concept of "future pull," where envisioning and embodying a desired future self can guide personal growth. Howes shares his own experience of using positive vision to navigate career transitions, demonstrating how changing self-talk and perspective can break free from past constraints.
Process of Personal Transformation
Woodward Thomas introduces the concept of "source fracture stories" - original breaks in belonging that shape limiting self-perceptions. Using Howes's personal example of childhood trauma, she explains how identifying these stories without reliving the trauma itself is crucial for transformation. The process involves differentiating between the wounded and wise adult self, developing neglected skills, and consciously choosing new responses to present situations. Through this approach, Woodward Thomas suggests, individuals can break past patterns and manifest their desired future by recognizing themselves as the source of their experiences.
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Counterarguments
- The idea that core limiting beliefs are formed in childhood and can even originate in the womb is not universally accepted; some psychologists argue that while early experiences are influential, individuals continue to form and reform beliefs throughout their lives.
- The concept of an "inner glass ceiling" is metaphorical and may oversimplify the complex interplay of personal and systemic factors that limit an individual's opportunities.
- The number of core limiting beliefs (22) is arbitrary and may not encompass the full range of limiting beliefs that individuals experience.
- The dichotomy between a "wise self" and "wounded self" may not capture the full spectrum of an individual's psychological states or identities.
- The emphasis on personal responsibility for overcoming limiting beliefs may understate the role of external factors, such as social support and access to resources, in personal transformation.
- The focus on envisioning a desired future self and "future pull" may not be effective for everyone, as some individuals may find it challenging to visualize the future or may not believe in the efficacy of such practices.
- The approach of identifying "source fracture stories" without reliving trauma may not be suitable for all individuals, as some may require therapeutic intervention to process and heal from past trauma.
- The assertion that individuals can break past patterns by recognizing themselves as the source of their experiences may not acknowledge the complexity of change, which often involves a combination of self-awareness, effort, time, and sometimes professional help.
- The idea that changing self-talk and perspective alone can help individuals overcome limiting beliefs may not take into account the depth of some beliefs and the need for more comprehensive strategies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or other forms of psychological intervention.
Actionables
- Create a "future self" journal where you write letters to your future self, detailing the achievements and emotional states you wish to attain. This practice helps you focus on the future and envision the person you want to become, making it easier to identify and work towards the goals that align with your desired future self. For example, if you aspire to be more confident, write about a scenario where you handle a challenging situation with poise and assurance.
- Develop a "wise self" avatar, a character that embodies the qualities of your wise self, and use it as a reference in decision-making. Draw or describe this avatar in detail, focusing on traits that counteract your limiting beliefs. When faced with a decision, ask yourself, "What would my wise self-avatar do?" This can help you practice making choices from a place of wisdom rather than from your wounded self. For instance, if your wise self is characterized by bravery, consider how this avatar would approach a situation that typically triggers feelings of inadequacy.
- Use a "pattern interrupt" technique by wearing a unique piece of jewelry or carrying an object that serves as a physical reminder to challenge limiting beliefs as they arise. Each time you notice a limiting belief influencing your thoughts or actions, touch the object to remind yourself to pause and choose a different, more empowering thought or action. For example, if you often think "I'm not good enough" when trying new things, touching the object could remind you to instead think, "I am capable of learning and growing."
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The Origin and Impact of Core Limiting Beliefs
Katherine Woodward Thomas and Lewis Howes discuss the formation of core limiting beliefs during childhood, their impact on our lives, and the challenge in overcoming them.
Core Beliefs About Ourselves Form Early, Before We Fully Understand Experiences
Childhood Interpretations and Limiting Beliefs
Katherine Woodward Thomas explains that core limiting beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" often emerge from a child's environment, for instance, if they sense they were not wanted or if their needs weren't met, which can sometimes be interpreted even in the womb. As "little meaning-making machines", children form a sense of self based on what they experience, creating narratives based on their interpretations that may lead to feelings of powerlessness, invisibility, or inadequacy.
Core Beliefs Perpetuate Through Interpretation and Response To Experiences
We Reinforce Beliefs By Engaging In Behaviors That Validate Them
These beliefs, formed during identity formation before we have the capacity to fully understand complex situations, are perpetuated as young individuals interpret and respond to their experiences through the lens of these ingrained misconceptions. When children, such as Woodward Thomas at the age of eight, develop narratives like being "the other woman," they cement an expectation of neglect or abandonment based on those early experiences.
Limiting Beliefs: "I'm Not Good Enough" or "I'm Alone" Sabotage Our Potential
Core Beliefs, Ingrained In Identity, Often Unconscious and Difficult to Overcome
Thomas emphasizes that these core beliefs about not being good enough or feeling alone are so deeply ingrained in our identity that they often become an unconscious part of our persona, creating an "inner glass ceiling" to our potentials. She cites 22 core limiting beliefs that constrain personal growth, including feelings of being a burden, invisible, or unworthy.
Woodward Thomas underlines the importance of discerning between t ...
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The Origin and Impact of Core Limiting Beliefs
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Counterarguments
- While childhood experiences can significantly influence core beliefs, it's also important to acknowledge the role of genetic predispositions and temperament in shaping an individual's response to their environment.
- The concept of beliefs forming in the womb is a hypothesis that may not have conclusive empirical support, and alternative explanations for early belief formation should be considered.
- The idea that children are "little meaning-making machines" might oversimplify the complex cognitive and emotional development processes that occur during childhood.
- Some psychological theories suggest that individuals can also develop resilience and positive self-concepts in response to challenging early experiences, not just limiting beliefs.
- The notion of an "inner glass ceiling" could be seen as deterministic, potentially underestimating the capacity for change and adaptation in adults.
- The list of 22 core limiting beliefs may not be exhaustive or universally applicable, as cultural, social, and individual differences can lead to a wider range of limiting beliefs.
- The dichotomy between the "wise self" and the "wounded self" may be overly simplistic, as individuals often exhibit a more nuanced and complex interplay of various aspects of the self.
- The emphasis ...
Actionables
- Create a "Belief Map" by drawing a tree where the roots represent your core limiting beliefs and the branches show how these beliefs manifest in your daily life. For example, if one of your core beliefs is "I'm not good enough," you might notice branches that include avoiding challenges or feeling anxious in social situations. This visual representation can help you identify and understand the impact of these beliefs.
- Start a "Counter-Belief Journal" where you write down evidence that challenges your core limiting beliefs each day. If you often feel "I'm alone," make a note every time someone reaches out to you, offers help, or enjoys your company. This practice can gradually shift your focus from reinforcing negative beliefs to recognizing positive interactions and support.
- Engage in a weekly "Role Reversal" exercise where you write a letter to yoursel ...
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Mindset Shift to Move Beyond the Past
Katherine Woodward Thomas explains the necessary shift from dwelling on the past to focusing on building a future. Both Thomas and Lewis Howes discuss how such a change can bring about personal growth and transformation.
Healing the Past Is Crucial, but Transformation Requires Focusing On the Future and Aligning With Our Highest Self
Thomas suggests that while healing involves understanding and grieving past trauma, true transformation requires turning one's attention to who they need to become to realize their desired future.
Analyzing Past Wounds Isn't Enough; Envision and Embody Your Future Self
While analyzing past wounds may provide some understanding, it is not enough for transformation. Thomas emphasizes the importance of envisioning and embodying one’s future self to create the life they desire. She mentions the significance of moving beyond merely understanding past wounds to creating a new vision for life, one that is not limited by old beliefs and pain.
Creating a "future pull," a compelling vision of a desired future, is a concept discussed by Thomas and Howes. By envisioning a better future and aligning actions with that vision, individuals can foster a sense of motivation and guide their growth towards that envisioned state. Focusing on a positive vision can serve as a motivating factor in personal growth and help overcome past limitations.
Break Free From Limits: Embrace Growth and Opportunities
Thomas speaks to the importance of recognizing how one’s present self is the source of their own problems and that flipping to a new, positive, future-focused perspective can create transformation. The shift from a fixed identity to a flexible self, willing to receive feedback and grow from experiences, is portrayed by Thomas as essential in order to actualize the future one is committed to.
Howes reflects on his own experiences, sharing how a positive vision for the future guided him through his transition phase before starting his show. He suggests that changing self-talk to focus on abilities and a compelling future can positively influence outcomes and aid in breaking free from past constraints.
Lewis Howes and Katherine Woodward Thomas highlight that having a positive, possible future will initiate growth toward that dream. Embracing growth means becoming the p ...
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Mindset Shift to Move Beyond the Past
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- "Future pull" is a psychological concept where a vivid, positive vision of the future creates motivation and direction in the present. It works by mentally rehearsing and emotionally connecting with the desired future self, which influences current decisions and behaviors. This process helps override limiting beliefs rooted in past experiences by shifting focus toward growth and potential. Practically, it involves imagining specific future scenarios and acting as if that future is already unfolding.
- "Embodying" a future self means adopting the thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes of the person you want to become. It involves acting as if you already possess the qualities and mindset of that future version. This practice helps rewire your brain and build new habits aligned with your goals. By living in alignment with your future self, you make that vision more real and achievable.
- A "fixed identity" is a rigid self-concept where a person believes their traits and abilities are unchangeable. A "flexible self" embraces growth, seeing abilities and characteristics as developable through effort and experience. This mindset allows openness to feedback and adaptation. It supports transformation by enabling new behaviors aligned with future goals.
- Mental rehearsal is a technique where you vividly imagine yourself performing actions or living as your future self. This practice activates similar brain areas as actual experience, strengthening neural pathways. It helps align your mindset and behaviors with your desired future, making it feel more attainable. By mentally practicing success, you increase confidence and readiness to act in the present.
- A shame-based identity forms when a person internalizes feelings of unworthiness or failure, often rooted in past trauma or negative experiences. Aligning with one's true self involves recognizing and releasing these limiting beliefs to embrace inherent worth and authenticity. This shift requires self-compassion, honest self-reflection, and intentional actions that reflect one's values and potential. It enables growth by replacing self-judgment with self-acceptance and empowerment.
- Healing past trauma involves processing and resolving emotional pain to reduce its negative impact. True transformation goes beyond healing by actively changing one’s identity and behaviors to create a new, empowered future. Healing addresses what happened, while transformation focuses on who you become afterward. Transformation requires envisioning and embodying a future self that transcends past limitations.
- Self-talk is the internal dialogue that shapes how we perceive ourselves and our abilities. Positive self-talk reinforces confidence and motivates action toward goals, while negative self-talk can create self-doubt and limit progress. Changing self-talk to focus on strengths and future possibilities helps rewire the brain for growth and resilience. This shift enables breaking free from past constraints by fostering a mindset open to new opportuni ...
Counterarguments
- While focusing on the future is important, it's also crucial not to dismiss or underplay the significance of the past. The past can provide valuable lessons and insights that can inform and shape one's future actions and decisions.
- The concept of "future pull" may not account for the unpredictable nature of life. Despite envisioning and working towards a desired future, external factors beyond one's control can significantly alter outcomes.
- The idea of completely transforming by focusing on the future might be overly simplistic for some individuals. Transformation is often a complex process that may require ongoing attention to both past and present issues.
- The notion of changing self-talk to focus on abilities and a compelling future might not be sufficient for individuals with deep-seated psychological issues or mental health disorders. Professional therapy or medical intervention may be necessary.
- The emphasis on envisioning and embodying one's future self could lead to excessive future-oriented thinking, potentially causing anxiety or stress about achieving these goals. It's important to balance future planning with present-moment awareness and contentment.
- The idea of a flexible self that is open to feedback and growth, while positive, may not acknowledge the importance of setting healthy boundaries and the need to sometimes resist change that is not in one's best interest.
- The concept of mental rehearsal and acting from the future self's identity might not be practical or effective for everyone. Some individuals may find it difficult to visualize or connect with a future self that feels too distant or disconn ...
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Process of Personal Transformation and Manifesting a Desired Future
In discussions with Katherine Woodward Thomas and Lewis Howes, the concept of personal transformation and its impact on manifesting a desired future are explored deeply, emphasizing the importance of understanding and redefining self-perceptions that arise from one's past.
Identifying "Source Fracture Stories" That Shape Limiting Self-Perceptions Is Key to Transformation
Katherine Woodward Thomas describes "source fracture stories" as the original breaks in belonging or an original wounding that shapes limiting self-perceptions. In every area where one is held back, there tends to be one specific source fracture story. For instance, Lewis Howes reveals his own source fracture, stemming from being abused at age five, which led him to feelings of unworthiness and the belief that he was unlovable.
Thomas points out the importance of identifying the identities formed from trauma rather than reliving traumatic experiences themselves. By differentiating trauma from truth and mentoring the wounded part of oneself, one can awaken from the "trance" of source fracture stories. This allows individuals to rescue the parts of themselves that lacked adult presence for comfort and assurance and consequently, make conscious choices in the present.
Differentiate Wounds From Wise Adult Self to Consciously Choose Present Response
Woodward Thomas emphasizes differentiating the wounded self from the wise adult self as a crucial step in personal transformation. Through practices like acknowledging the age of the wounded self and conversing with it compassionately, one can mentor their inner wounded self and integrate love internally. This process helps prevent actions taken from a place of hurt and avoids the creation of more evidence of that wound.
Empowering Self and Others to Break Past Patterns and Embrace Our Future
Thomas highlights the need for identifying and developing certain skills that might have been neglected due to past constraints, such as setting boundaries, communicating authentically, and receiving love. By embodying these skills and changing one's behavior to align with their future identity, as Thomas did by envisioning herself as a world-class leader of love, it is possible to map a path to a desired future.
Her personal journey of transformation began by making wisdom her "North Star," realizing that her worth wasn't tied to her past beliefs of inadequacy, and understanding that she had something valuable to say. Learning to consciously choose her response in the present and not acting out of past wounds, Thomas managed to manifest her vision of addressing thousands of people on the significance of love.
Ultimately, the Key to Transformation Is Recognizing We Are the Source of Our Experience, and By Consciously Choosing New Thoughts, Beliefs, and Actions, We Can Create the Life We're Meant to Live
Personal transformation, according to Woodward Thomas, is rooted in acknowledging oneself as the source of one's experiences. By recognizing our interpretive power over our experiences and showing up differently as a re ...
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Process of Personal Transformation and Manifesting a Desired Future
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- "Source fracture stories" refer to the original emotional wounds or experiences that disrupt a person's sense of belonging and self-worth. These stories form the foundation of limiting beliefs and self-perceptions that hold individuals back. They are not just memories but deeply ingrained narratives that shape identity and behavior unconsciously. Healing involves recognizing and reframing these stories to free oneself from their negative influence.
- Differentiating trauma from truth means recognizing that the painful experiences and beliefs formed from trauma are not absolute facts about oneself or reality. Trauma often distorts perception, creating limiting or false self-identities based on past wounds. Truth involves seeing oneself with clarity, compassion, and accuracy beyond those distortions. This distinction allows healing by separating harmful narratives from one’s authentic self.
- "Mentoring the wounded part of oneself" means treating your inner hurt or vulnerable feelings with kindness and guidance, as a caring adult would. It involves acknowledging the pain without judgment and offering reassurance and support to heal emotional wounds. This process helps transform negative self-beliefs formed from past trauma into healthier, more compassionate self-understanding. Essentially, it is an internal dialogue that nurtures growth and emotional recovery.
- The "trance" of source fracture stories refers to being unconsciously stuck in limiting beliefs formed from early emotional wounds. Awakening means becoming aware of these stories and recognizing they are not absolute truths. This awareness allows a person to separate their current self from past pain. It enables conscious choice rather than automatic reactions based on old wounds.
- The "wounded self" represents the part of you that holds pain and limiting beliefs from past traumas. The "wise adult self" is the mature, compassionate part that can understand and care for the wounded self without judgment. Differentiating them means recognizing when your reactions come from old pain versus present wisdom. This awareness allows you to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively based on past wounds.
- Compassionately conversing with the wounded self involves acknowledging its pain without judgment and offering understanding as a caring adult would to a child. This can be done through inner dialogue, journaling, or meditation, where you listen to the wounded part’s feelings and fears. The goal is to provide reassurance, validate its experience, and gently guide it toward healing. Over time, this nurtures self-acceptance and reduces reactive behaviors rooted in past trauma.
- Rescuing parts of oneself that lacked adult comfort involves recognizing and nurturing the inner child or wounded aspects formed during times of neglect or trauma. This means providing the care, validation, and safety that were missing at the time of the original wound. The process often includes compassionate self-talk, visualization, or therapeutic techniques to offer the support the younger self needed. By doing so, one heals emotional gaps and integrates these parts into a healthier, whole self.
- Embodying future-aligned behaviors means acting in ways that reflect the person you want to become, not who you were. This practice rewires your brain to support new habits and beliefs, making your desired identity feel real and achievable. It bridges the gap between current reality and future goals by creating consistent, tangible evidence of change. Over time, these actions build confidence and reinforce a transformed self-image that attracts corresponding opportunities.
- Making wisdom a "North Star" means using wisdom as a constant guiding principle in life. Like the North Star helps travelers navigate, wisdom provides direction during difficult decisions. It implies prioritizing thoughtful insight over fleeting emotions or external pressures. This steady focus helps maintain clarity and purpose amid challenges.
- Being the "source of one’s experiences" means recognizing that your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions shape how you interpret and respond to events. It emphasizes personal responsibility for your emotional and mental reactions rather than blaming external circumstances. This concept encourages empowerment by showing that changing your internal mindset can change your life experience. It is rooted in the idea that reality is partly constructed by your own conscious choices and interpretations.
- Rejecting victimization means choosing not to see oneself as powerless or defined by past harm. Empowerment involves recognizing one’s ability to influence their life and make inte ...
Counterarguments
- Personal transformation is complex and may not be solely rooted in identifying and redefining past experiences; biological, genetic, and environmental factors also play significant roles.
- The concept of "source fracture stories" may oversimplify the diverse and multifaceted nature of human psychology and personal development.
- Differentiating trauma from truth assumes a clear-cut distinction that may not exist for many individuals, as memories and perceptions are often intertwined.
- The idea that each area of limitation originates from a specific source fracture story may not account for the possibility of multiple contributing factors or the dynamic interplay between different life experiences.
- The process of mentoring the wounded self and integrating love internally may not be sufficient for individuals with severe trauma, who might require professional therapy and support.
- The emphasis on developing neglected skills overlooks the fact that not all individuals may have the same opportunities or resources to develop these skills.
- The notion of embodying future-aligned behaviors presupposes a level of self-awareness and control that some individuals may find challenging to achieve without guidance.
- The idea that making wisdom a guiding principle can lead to manifesting one's vision may not acknowledge the role of external circumstances and opportunities in achieving personal goals.
- Recognizing oneself as the source of one's experiences might not fully consider the impact of systemic issues and external factors that can limit personal agency.
- The concept of rejecting victimization could inadvertently minimize the experiences of those who have been victimized by circumstances beyond their control ...
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