Podcasts > The School of Greatness > I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg shares her journey from a challenging upbringing to personal transformation. Growing up in poverty with significant family responsibilities, Wood-Tepperberg later struggled with addiction and eating disorders while maintaining an outwardly perfect image in New York City.

The conversation with Lewis Howes explores how Wood-Tepperberg overcame these challenges through therapy, meditation, and mindfulness practices. She describes developing her own blend of Pilates and yoga, which helped shift her perspective from punishment to joy. The episode also covers her transition to becoming a health coach and teacher, her approach to business decisions, and her focus on maintaining authentic connections with her audience through speaking events.

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I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

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I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

1-Page Summary

Melissa's Dysfunctional Upbringing and Early Adulthood Struggles

In her conversation with Lewis Howes, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg reveals her journey from a troubled past to successful transformation. Growing up in poverty, Melissa shouldered significant responsibility as the middle child, managing household tasks and caring for her siblings. When she was 15, the birth of her brother intensified these caretaking duties.

During her early twenties in New York City, Melissa's life became increasingly chaotic. While maintaining a polished exterior working at Bloomingdale's Chanel counter, she struggled with heavy drinking, binge eating, and bulimia. Lewis Howes notes how effectively she masked these struggles, presenting a perfect image while internally battling trauma and feelings of imperfection.

Melissa's Personal Transformation and Healing Journey

Melissa describes hitting rock bottom while purging, which became her turning point. Despite her history of helping others, she finally acknowledged her need for professional help and began therapy. Her healing journey included addressing childhood trauma and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

Her transformation centered on meditation and mindfulness practices. She found that dedicating 20 minutes each morning to meditation helped ground her, especially before speaking engagements. Through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, she pursued education despite her discomfort with traditional schooling. Melissa developed her own blend of Pilates and yoga, creating what she calls an "inner dance" that brought joy rather than punishment.

Melissa's Peace, Intuition, and Empowerment Through Speaking and Teaching

Melissa has found her purpose in guiding others through their transformations, starting as the first health coach hired by Dr. Morrison. She describes feeling most alive when teaching and speaking, and is now expanding her platform through monthly events in New York City. Currently in a reflective phase, Melissa is focused on making intuitive business decisions while maintaining deep connections with her audience. Lewis Howes acknowledges her natural ability to connect with audiences, encouraging her plans for intimate speaking events in NYC.

1-Page Summary

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Actionables

  • Start your day with a personal grounding ritual by setting aside a designated time each morning for an activity that centers you, such as writing in a gratitude journal, stretching, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of tea. This practice can help you approach your day with a sense of calm and presence, similar to how meditation provides grounding.
  • Explore non-traditional education opportunities that align with your interests, like online courses, workshops, or local community classes, to expand your knowledge in areas you're passionate about without the pressure of a conventional academic environment. This approach can lead to personal growth and potentially uncover new career paths or hobbies.
  • Create a personal wellness routine that combines elements from different disciplines you enjoy, such as dance, strength training, or deep breathing exercises, to form a unique practice that feels joyful and fulfilling. Tailoring your routine to your preferences can make exercise a celebration of your body rather than a punishment, promoting long-term health and well-being.

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I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Melissa's Dysfunctional Upbringing and Early Adulthood Struggles

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg’s candid discussion with Lewis Howes sheds light on the dichotomy of her tumultuous upbringing and the polished façade she meticulously maintained through her early adulthood.

Melissa's Chaotic, Financially Unstable Upbringing

Growing up in a very poor and dysfunctional family, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg struggled with feelings of inadequacy. Her family was financially unstable, with parents working multiple jobs but never having enough money, which resulted in a cycle of survival and a scarcity mindset. As the middle child, she felt compelled to help ease her family's stress, stepping in to manage household tasks, assist her sisters with homework, and create the illusion of financial stability by curating school outfits—efforts that sometimes led her sisters to think of her as bossy.

Middle Child as Family Caretaker and Provider

From a young age, Melissa found herself playing the role of family caretaker and provider. The birth of a baby brother when she was 15 years old intensified this responsibility, as she worked to protect and care for her siblings amid the chaos at home.

Melissa's Unhealthy Coping In Her 20s: Drinking, Eating, Purging

Melissa's Poised Exterior Masked Inner Turmoil

In New York City, Melissa’s life was a far cry from stability, with her initially living on a friend's couch and later in a minuscule apartment with a mere mattress on the floor. Desperate to escape her past, she frequented parties and drank heavily, especially on weekends when she wasn't working at the Chanel counter in Bloomingdale's. Alcohol would unleash her anger, sometimes resulting in physical altercations in her relationships, echoing the patterns she had witnessed in her upbringing.

Eating became anoth ...

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Melissa's Dysfunctional Upbringing and Early Adulthood Struggles

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can start a reflective journaling practice to process past experiences and identify patterns in your behavior. Set aside 10 minutes each day to write about your feelings, reactions to stressful situations, and any coping mechanisms you notice yourself using. This can help you become more aware of your actions and consider healthier alternatives.
  • Create a personal "self-care toolkit" with activities that promote well-being and serve as positive coping strategies. Include simple items like a stress ball, a list of uplifting songs, a coloring book, or a collection of inspirational quotes. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or tempted to engage in negative coping behaviors, reach for your toolkit instead.
  • Engage in a weekly "role-play" exercise with a truste ...

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I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Melissa's Personal Transformation and Healing Journey

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg shares her deeply personal account of hitting rock bottom and the subsequent transformation that followed, leading to a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth.

Rock Bottom Revelation

Melissa Pursued Self-Discovery and Inner Work to Address Trauma and Insecurities

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg describes hitting rock bottom: on her knees over the toilet, hating herself, and tearing up as she looked in the mirror. Faced with two paths in life, Melissa knew she could not continue living the way she was. This realization marked the beginning of her transformation journey. She had to confront her history of being uninspired, owning up to the decisions made in her business that stemmed from saying "yes" too often.

A pivotal moment came when she recognized she needed help. Historically shouldering responsibility, particularly for her siblings, she found herself trying to save everyone but herself. Calling her friend to acquire her therapist's contact marked the turning point, as she came to terms with needing outside assistance. Melissa admits she initially lied to her therapist, signaling her struggle with honesty regarding her issues.

Her transformation involved facing feelings of inadequacy, recalling a childhood marked by her parents' separation, and dealing with the repercussions of mistreating her inner child. This mistreatment manifested through acne, binge eating, binge drinking, and late nights.

Meditation, Mindfulness, and Health Centered Melissa's Transformation

Through Consistent Practices, Melissa Cultivated Self-Love, Regulated Emotions, and Connected With Intuition

Despite waking up to a dark place most mornings, Melissa has learned how to navigate out of that headspace, implying a journey of self-discovery and addressing her underlying trauma. She perceived her cystic acne as a physical manifestation of internalized anxiety and stress, prompting her to look inward for healing.

Noah, her partner, provided a safe haven, giving Melissa the grounding link she needed, but she realized that contentment and security had to stem from herself. Engaging in education through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, she challenged her discomfort with school and testing.

Motivated by the belief that consistent effort can lead to a dream life, Melissa preaches the power of persistence and willingness to confront feelings head-on. For her, the opportunity to enact change is available daily through the choice of different actions.

Melissa speaks to the significance of meditation and movement in her life. Investing 20 minutes each morning to meditate helps ground her, especially before speaking engagements. Her healing process, which has been about engaging intuition and energy, ...

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Melissa's Personal Transformation and Healing Journey

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a personal "no" list to identify when to set boundaries, including situations, requests, or commitments that don't align with your values or well-being. Start by writing down instances in the past month where you felt drained or regretful after saying "yes." Use this list to recognize patterns and decide on criteria for when to say "no" in the future, helping you to make more inspired decisions and protect your energy.
  • Develop a self-discovery journaling routine by dedicating 10 minutes each evening to reflect on your emotions, choices, and personal growth. Use prompts such as "What did I learn about myself today?" or "How did I honor my inner child?" to explore your feelings and experiences. This practice can help you uncover underlying issues and track your progress in personal development.
  • Incorporate a "joyful movement" session into ...

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I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Melissa's Peace, Intuition, and Empowerment Through Speaking and Teaching

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg embodies a motivational speaker and guide who shares her journey and insights, empowering others through speaking and teaching.

Melissa Finds Purpose as a Motivational Speaker and Guide

Melissa expresses her sense of purpose in guiding others through their transformations. She is not only on a personal journey but also leads others to awaken to their inner strength, emphasizing the daily practice of nurturing this energy. Melissa started her coaching journey by helping people for free and was the first health coach hired by Dr. Morrison. Through her work, Melissa uses her past experiences to aid others, affirming her passion and finding true joy in service.

Melissa Is Expanding Her Speaking Platform to Share Her Story and Insights With a Wider Audience

Feeling most alive and at home when teaching and speaking, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg taps into her motivational energy, positively impacting those beyond her workout sessions. She speaks of being radically transparent with both herself and her audience, indicating her desire to spread her message on a larger scale. Melissa is working on hosting monthly events in New York City to nurture intimate connections and potentially enlarge her speaking platform. She envisions combining her motivational speaking with presentations that involve her personal story, practical advice, and interactive components.

Melissa Is in a Reflective Phase, Committed To Intuitive, Aligned Business Decisions

Currently in a reflective phase, Melissa is reevaluating her approach to presenting herself and conducting business. She is committed to making intuitive, aligned decisions, staying deeply connected to her work's impact and audience. Melissa is ...

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Melissa's Peace, Intuition, and Empowerment Through Speaking and Teaching

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • You can start a personal growth journal to track your daily nurturing practices, reflecting on how they impact your inner energy and strength. By writing down your experiences with different techniques, such as meditation or gratitude exercises, you can identify what resonates with you and fosters your personal transformation. For example, if you find that meditating for 10 minutes each morning increases your focus throughout the day, make it a regular part of your routine.
  • Create a "service swap" with friends or colleagues where you offer your skills or time in exchange for theirs, without monetary transactions. This can help you discover joy in helping others and learn new skills in the process. For instance, if you're good at graphic design and a friend excels at cooking, you could design a flyer for their catering business in exchange for a home-cooked meal.
  • Develop a habit of self-reflectio ...

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