Podcasts > The School of Greatness > Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Scott Galloway and Lewis Howes examine the challenges modern men face in a changing society. The discussion covers statistics about men's well-being, including high rates of suicide, addiction, and incarceration, while exploring how traditional male roles are shifting as women make economic and professional advances.

The conversation delves into several key factors affecting men today: the impact of remote work and digital engagement on social connections, the importance of male mentorship in young men's development, and the evolution of romantic relationships as women increasingly become primary breadwinners. Galloway and Howes discuss how men can adapt to these changes by developing skills beyond traditional provider roles, including emotional intelligence and domestic contributions.

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Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

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Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

1-Page Summary

The Economic and Social Challenges Facing Modern Men

Scott Galloway explores the complex social and economic challenges that modern men face in a rapidly evolving society, particularly as traditional gender roles continue to shift.

Men's Social Challenges and Evolving Roles

Galloway highlights concerning statistics about men's well-being, noting that men account for four out of five suicides and face disproportionately high rates of addiction, homelessness, and incarceration. He discusses how traditional male roles are being redefined as women make significant societal progress. Lewis Howes adds that unhealed traumas and a lack of proper tools for navigating society often lead to destructive behaviors among men.

The decline of traditional male industries has left many young men feeling "untethered," according to Galloway. He expresses particular concern about how remote work and increased digital engagement are isolating young men from valuable in-person connections and learning opportunities, suggesting that tech companies profit from keeping young men tethered to screens rather than engaging in real-world interactions.

The Importance of Male Mentorship and Role Models

Galloway emphasizes the crucial role of male mentors in young men's development, sharing personal stories about mentors who shaped his success, including a stockbroker named Cy Sarah who taught him about investing. However, he notes that many men today avoid mentoring roles due to fears of misperception. Both Galloway and Howes stress that the absence of positive male role models can lead to negative outcomes, including increased likelihood of incarceration.

Changing Dynamics of Romantic Relationships

As women gain economic power, traditional relationship dynamics are shifting significantly. Galloway notes that 17% of households now have female primary breadwinners, and women are outpacing men in professional education. This shift brings new challenges: divorce rates double when women earn more than their partners, and men often struggle with self-esteem in these situations.

Howes and Galloway emphasize that men must adapt by developing skills beyond financial provision. They suggest that as women achieve greater economic independence, men need to focus on emotional intelligence, domestic contributions, and kindness as valuable relationship attributes. The discussion highlights how modern partnerships require men to bring diverse contributions beyond traditional provider roles.

1-Page Summary

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Counterarguments

  • While men do face significant challenges, it's important to recognize that not all men are affected equally, and some may find empowerment in the shifting societal roles.
  • The idea that men are becoming untethered due to the decline of traditional industries may overlook the adaptability and resilience of many men who find new paths and opportunities in a changing economy.
  • The assertion that remote work and digital engagement are purely negative for young men could be balanced by acknowledging the benefits of these trends, such as increased flexibility, work-life balance, and opportunities for those in remote or underserved areas.
  • The claim that tech companies profit from keeping young men tethered to screens might oversimplify the complex relationship between technology use and social engagement, and it doesn't consider the positive aspects of digital connectivity.
  • The concern about men avoiding mentoring roles due to fears of misperception might not take into account the efforts being made to create safe and supportive environments for mentorship to flourish.
  • The link between the absence of male role models and increased likelihood of incarceration could be explored in more depth, considering other contributing factors such as socioeconomic status, education, and community support systems.
  • The statistic about divorce rates doubling when women earn more could be contextualized within broader social and economic trends, and it might not reflect the nuances of individual relationships or the potential for couples to navigate these dynamics successfully.
  • The emphasis on men needing to develop skills beyond financial provision could be complemented by a discussion on how society can better support and value non-financial contributions in all genders.
  • The idea that modern partnerships require diverse contributions from men might also benefit from a discussion on how societal expectations and support systems can evolve to facilitate these contributions from both partners in a relationship.

Actionables

  • You can foster emotional intelligence by starting a daily reflection journal where you note your feelings, reactions to events, and how you handle interactions with others. This practice can help you become more aware of your emotional responses and improve your communication skills, which are valuable in modern partnerships that require diverse attributes beyond financial provision.
  • Engage in skill-sharing with friends or family members where you exchange knowledge on topics like cooking, budgeting, or emotional support. For example, if you're skilled in a particular area, offer to teach it to someone else in exchange for them teaching you something they're skilled in. This can help you develop a more well-rounded skill set that goes beyond traditional male roles and prepares you for a variety of life situations.
  • Volunteer as a mentor for young men in your community through local organizations or online platforms that connect mentors with mentees. By sharing your experiences and offering guidance, you can help address the absence of positive male role models and provide support that may reduce the likelihood of negative outcomes for these young men.

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Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

The Economic and Social Challenges Facing Modern Men

Scott Galloway unpacks the social and economic issues modern men face, stressed by a society that judges them on economic viability and struggles against evolving gender roles.

Men Face Higher Rates of Suicide, Addiction, Homelessness, Incarceration

Evolving Male Roles Amid Women's Progress

Galloway notes serious social challenges disproportionately affecting men, citing higher rates of suicide, addiction, homelessness, and incarceration among men compared to women. He states that for every five suicides, four are men, and the majority of gun deaths are suicides, indicating high levels of self-destructive behavior. The changing societal landscape, with the rise of women, leaves men with an unclear role, and traditional expectations, such as men as the initiators of romantic interest, have evolved.

Galloway shares personal experiences, such as his responsibility to care for his sick mother, reflecting traditional male roles as a provider and protector. He also mentions the economic struggles of men falling behind women and the possible negative "externalities and some knock-on effects."

Lewis Howes discusses unhealed traumas and the lack of tools to navigate society healthily leading to destructive behaviors. Galloway adds to this with a personal anecdote about his father's unkind behavior after divorce, highlighting the need for men to have role models that teach them how to contribute positively to society and family.

Young Men "Untethered" by Decline of Traditional Male Industries

Remote Work and Digital Engagement Isolate Young Men From In-person Connections

Traditional male industries' decline has left many young men uncertain of their societal role. Galloway discusses how traditional shop classes disappearing from schools narrow down opportunities for those not inclined toward college or tech careers.

Galloway acknowledges the struggles of young men and espouses economic programs to help them, asserting that supporting men doesn’t detract from assisting women. He observes that remote work and society's move ...

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The Economic and Social Challenges Facing Modern Men

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Counterarguments

  • While men do face higher rates of certain negative outcomes like suicide and homelessness, it's important to recognize that women also face significant challenges, including higher rates of certain mental health issues like depression and anxiety, and they are more likely to be victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.
  • The idea that men are inherently providers and protectors can be seen as reinforcing gender stereotypes, and it's worth considering that men, like women, have a diverse range of roles and capacities beyond these traditional expectations.
  • The assertion that men are falling behind women economically might oversimplify the issue, as men still hold a disproportionate number of high-paying and leadership roles in many sectors.
  • The decline of traditional male industries is part of a broader economic shift that affects all genders, and the focus on men's experiences might overlook the similar challenges faced by women and non-binary individuals in these changing economic landscapes.
  • The impact of remote work on social learning and discipline is not exclusive to young men; it can affect all individuals regardless of gender, and some people may actually thrive in remote work environments.
  • The claim that big tech companies profit by keeping young men on their phones could be seen as a simplification of the complex relationship between technology use and social behavior, and it doesn't account ...

Actionables

  • You can volunteer as a mentor for young men in your community to provide positive role models and guidance. By joining or starting a mentorship program, you can help young men develop a sense of purpose and direction. For example, partner with local schools or youth organizations to offer your time and share your experiences, focusing on constructive contributions to society and family.
  • Start a book club focused on male authors who write about overcoming adversity and finding one's place in the world. This can help you and others understand different perspectives on masculinity and societal roles. Choose books that challenge traditional expectations and offer new insights into being a provider and protector in today's world.
  • Create a local initiative t ...

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Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

The Importance of Male Mentorship and Role Models

Scott Galloway and Lewis Howes dive into the pivotal role male mentors and role models play in the personal and professional development of young men, as well as the societal trends that deter men from mentorship roles.

Young Men Gain From Older Male Mentors Offering Guidance, Support, and Value

Galloway discusses how critical older male figures have been in his life, sharing the influence of a mentor called Cy Sarah who taught him about investing in stocks. This guidance has been a key factor in Galloway's financial success. He recognizes the mentorship he received at his first job as instrumental to learning professional behavior and how to interact with colleagues, including those of the opposite gender.

Galloway firmly believes that older men owe a debt to mentor young men and boys, especially since they had unfair advantages in the past. He calls for older men to actively engage in the lives of the younger generation to help uplift them. Similarly, Lewis Howes reflects on how the loss of his father emphasized the need for male guidance in his life, which encouraged him to step up as a man and a leader.

Furthermore, Galloway shares a story from his childhood where his interest in investing was sparked by a stockbroker named Cy Serra, who provided him with financial guidance from a young age. This mentorship instilled in Galloway both confidence and a lifelong interest in investing.

Men Avoid Mentoring Roles Due to Fear of Misperception

Galloway touches on a modern taboo that men face today—avoiding mentoring young boys due to fears of misinterpretation of their intentions. This fear creates a significant obstacle to male mentorship, preventing beneficial relationships from forming.

Male Role Models Teach Skills, Emotional Intelligence, and Healthy Relationships

Galloway points out that witnessing affection between his friend Lee and Lee's father influenced how he approached fatherhood, which reflects on the impact male role models have on emotional intelligence. He credits his father for the traits he inherited, such as storytelling and the ability to captivate an audience.

Lewis Howes praises Galloway for discussing vulnerability and masculinity. He points out that young boys are more at risk today due to a lack of skills for developing in-person relationships and emphasizes the need for strong male leaders to ...

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The Importance of Male Mentorship and Role Models

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Counterarguments

  • While older male mentors can be beneficial, it's important to recognize that mentorship can and should come from a diverse range of individuals, including women and non-binary individuals, to provide a more holistic perspective.
  • The idea that older men owe a debt to mentor young men could be seen as a generalization; not all older men may feel capable or interested in mentorship roles, and it's important to respect individual choices.
  • The fear of misperception that deters men from mentoring may be overstated; while it is a concern for some, others may find that clear communication and professional boundaries can mitigate these fears.
  • The emphasis on male role models might inadvertently undervalue the impact of female role models in teaching skills, emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships to young men.
  • The correlation between the lack of male role models and negative outcomes such as incarceration may oversimplify complex social issues that contribute to these outcomes, such as socioeconomic factors, education, and community resources.
  • The assertion that young boys today lack skills for developing in-person relationships could be challenged by evidence of youth forming strong social bonds and communities, both online and offline.
  • The idea that fathers' treatment of mothers serves as a critical lesson for boys on valuing and respecting women, while important, does not account for the ...

Actionables

  • You can volunteer at a local youth organization to provide mentorship and share life skills with young men who may lack positive male figures in their lives. By doing so, you'll be able to offer guidance and support in areas such as communication, emotional intelligence, and relationship-building. For example, you could run a simple workshop on effective communication techniques or organize a group activity that fosters teamwork and leadership skills.
  • Start a casual mentorship circle with friends or colleagues to exchange knowledge and experiences that benefit younger men in your community. This could be as simple as meeting up once a month to discuss topics like financial literacy, career development, or healthy lifestyle choices. Each member could take turns leading a discussion or sharing a skill, creating a ripple effect of positive male influence.
  • Create a digital storytelling project that ...

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Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

Changing Dynamics of Romantic Relationships and Gender Roles

Shifting gender roles and the economic empowerment of women are altering traditional romantic dynamics. As women gain economic power, the dynamics in relationships evolve, leading to discussion on the roles men play beyond financial provision.

Shifting Gender Roles as Women Gain Economic Power

With progress in gender equality and women increasingly entering the workforce, traditional male roles are being reassessed. Scott Galloway highlights the ascent of women as a positive force in society, mentioning the crucial role women played during World War II and how their entry into the workforce has driven economic growth. He challenges the notion that women's achievements negatively impact men's well-being, noting that 17% of households now have a woman as the primary breadwinner, a telltale sign of shifting gender roles. More women than men are now in medical and law schools, and it's predicted that the percentage of female to male college graduates will be two to one in the next five years.

Relationship Challenges: Higher Divorce Rates and Decreased Attraction With Female Breadwinners

The shift in economic power is affecting relationships. Scott Galloway points out that when a woman earns more than her partner, the likelihood of divorce doubles and the use of erectile dysfunction medication triples among men, alluding to a link to decreased male self-esteem. It's suggested that the capitalist value placed on economic power can challenge relationships where a woman is the primary earner. This shift leads to women dating older men who match their expectations for economic and emotional viability.

Moreover, 70% of divorces are filed by women, which some see as positive since women are becoming less financially dependent on men. However, inherent sexual attraction may diminish in marriages where the woman is the primary provider. Galloway also explores the double standard of career focus on romantic and sexual desirability, noting that men often find partners irrespective of personal attributes if they succeed professionally, whereas the same isn't true for women.

Lewis Howes notes the complexity of modern romantic dynamics, hinting at the struggles men face as women's economic power grows. Galloway observes that women are attracted to men who signal resources; however, as women gain economic independence, kindness becomes an increasingly attractive trait. The discussion moves onto how the rise of online dating has narrowed celebrated attributes to more superficial qualities and how men need to establish positive attributes beyond financial or physical strengths.

Men Must Adapt and Develop Skills Beyond Financial Provision in Relationships

Lewis Howes discusses the need for men to improve themselves emotionally and spiritually to attract partners and the importance of contributing beyond their own needs. ...

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Changing Dynamics of Romantic Relationships and Gender Roles

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Economic power is not the sole determinant of relationship dynamics, and focusing too much on this aspect may oversimplify the complexities of romantic relationships.
  • The correlation between higher divorce rates and female breadwinners does not necessarily imply causation, and other factors may contribute to relationship challenges.
  • The idea that men's self-esteem is solely tied to their economic status may not apply universally and can be seen as a stereotype that overlooks individual differences.
  • The assertion that inherent sexual attraction diminishes when women are primary providers may not hold true for all relationships and can vary based on personal values and beliefs.
  • The claim that men often find partners irrespective of personal attributes if they succeed professionally may not account for the diverse criteria individuals have for choosing partners.
  • The suggestion that men need to develop skills beyond financial provision could imply that men currently lack these skills, which may not be true for all men and can be seen as a generalization.
  • The emphasis on men adapting to women's economic empowerment could be perceived as one-sided, without equally stressing the need for women to adapt to changing male roles and expectations.
  • The idea that kindness becomes a more attractive trait as women gain economic independence could be challenged by the view that kindness has always been an attractive trait, regardless of economic factors.
  • The focus on men's need to contribute emotionally, logistically, and domestically might overlook t ...

Actionables

  • You can start a personal journal to reflect on your contributions to relationships beyond financial support, focusing on emotional and domestic roles. By regularly writing down instances where you offered emotional support, took on household responsibilities, or engaged in deep conversations, you'll become more aware of these contributions and can work to balance them with your partner's efforts.
  • Engage in role-reversal exercises with your partner to gain empathy and understanding of each other's experiences. For example, if one partner typically handles the finances, the other could take on this role for a month. This switch can help both partners appreciate the skills and efforts required for different tasks, fostering a more equitable division of labor and emotional support.
  • Create a "kin ...

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