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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

By Lewis Howes

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Lewis Howes shares science-backed strategies to build and maintain confidence. Drawing on insights from experts like Dr. Andrew Huberman and Vanessa Van Edwards, Howes explains how confidence functions like a muscle that can be strengthened through deliberate practice and specific behavioral adjustments, including breathing techniques to regulate the nervous system and micro-behaviors like maintaining eye contact.

The episode outlines practical approaches to building confidence, such as reframing failure as a learning opportunity and keeping a "proof journal" to document progress. Howes also discusses the role of a strong support system in developing confidence, emphasizing that while the journey requires consistent practice, it doesn't demand perfection. These frameworks provide a foundation for readers to understand how they can develop their own confidence through systematic, evidence-based methods.

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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

1-Page Summary

Practical, Science-Backed Strategies to Build Confidence

Lewis Howes presents evidence-based approaches to developing confidence, emphasizing that it's a skill that can be cultivated through deliberate practice and behavioral adjustments.

Use Breathing Techniques to Regulate Your Nervous System

Howes introduces the physiological sigh technique - two quick inhales through the nose followed by one long exhale - as a method to shift from stress to confidence. Dr. Andrew Huberman supports this approach, noting that reframing stress as excitement can positively affect the nervous system. This breathing technique can be particularly useful before challenging situations, like public speaking or important conversations.

Understanding and Building Confidence

Howes explains that confidence functions like a muscle that can be strengthened through practice. Rather than waiting to feel confident, he advocates for taking action that builds confidence. This includes practicing micro behaviors such as maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using open body language. Vanessa Van Edwards reinforces this idea, comparing confidence to a plant that needs regular nurturing.

Overcoming Mental Blocks and Embracing Growth

Howes emphasizes the importance of reframing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reflection of personal worth. He cites Novak Djokovic's perspective on viewing bad days as opportunities for growth. To build confidence, Howes recommends keeping a "proof journal" to document daily wins, providing tangible evidence of progress and abilities.

Leveraging Your Support System

Building confidence isn't a solo journey, according to Howes. He emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with a "confidence circle" of supportive individuals who can provide guidance, feedback, and encouragement. This includes seeking out mentors and coaches while maintaining consistent practice in confidence-building behaviors. Howes stresses that consistency, rather than perfection, is key to developing lasting confidence.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Breathing techniques, while helpful, may not be sufficient for individuals with severe anxiety or those who may have underlying health conditions that affect their breathing or stress responses.
  • The comparison of confidence to a muscle might oversimplify the complexity of psychological traits and ignore the influence of inherent personality differences and mental health conditions.
  • Taking action to build confidence can sometimes lead to increased anxiety or pressure for individuals who may not be ready to face certain challenges, suggesting that a one-size-fits-all approach may not be appropriate.
  • The concept of reframing stress as excitement might not acknowledge the real negative impacts that chronic stress can have on an individual's health and well-being.
  • The advice to maintain eye contact and use open body language may not be culturally universal or appropriate in all situations, as norms for these behaviors can vary widely across different societies.
  • The idea of nurturing confidence like a plant may not account for the environmental and situational factors that can significantly impact an individual's confidence levels, such as systemic discrimination or trauma.
  • The suggestion to reframe failure as a learning opportunity, while positive in intent, may not always be practical in high-stakes situations where failure has significant consequences.
  • Keeping a "proof journal" assumes that individuals will always recognize and value their daily wins, which may not be the case for those with mental health issues like depression, which can distort self-perception.
  • The recommendation to surround oneself with a supportive "confidence circle" may not be feasible for everyone, especially for individuals in toxic environments or those with limited social resources.
  • The emphasis on seeking mentors and coaches may not acknowledge the barriers to access, such as socioeconomic status, that can prevent individuals from finding or affording such support.
  • The focus on consistency may not take into account life events or circumstances that disrupt regular practice, and it may inadvertently pressure individuals to maintain efforts even when rest or a different approach might be needed.

Actionables

  • Create a "confidence playlist" with songs that evoke a sense of power and achievement to listen to during moments of self-doubt or before engaging in activities that require confidence. Music has been shown to influence mood and behavior, so by curating a playlist that resonates with feelings of empowerment, you can create an auditory cue to boost your confidence levels.
  • Develop a personal "confidence challenge" where you commit to a small, daily act that pushes you slightly out of your comfort zone, such as striking up a conversation with a stranger or volunteering to lead a meeting. This strategy leverages the idea of incremental progress and allows you to track your growth in confidence over time, turning these challenges into a habit-forming game.
  • Organize a monthly "confidence potluck" with friends where each person brings a dish and shares a story of a recent personal victory or a time they overcame fear. This social gathering not only reinforces the concept of a support circle but also provides a platform for practicing storytelling and public speaking in a low-pressure environment, contributing to confidence building.

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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

Practical, Science-Backed Strategies to Build Confidence

Lewis Howes promotes practical, scientifically supported strategies to foster confidence, emphasizing that confidence can be cultivated through deliberate practice and behavioral adjustments.

Use Breathing Techniques to Regulate Your Nervous System

"Performing Physiological Sighs - Two Inhales, one Long Exhale - Calms Mind and Body, Shifting Stress To Confidence."

Lewis Howes introduces a breathing technique called the physiological sigh to help regulate the nervous system and shift from stress to confidence. This method involves two quick inhales through the nose followed by one prolonged exhale. Howes suggests incorporating these sighs into a morning routine to cultivate a positive and confident posture.

Dr. Andrew Huberman emphasizes that stress, when reframed as excitement, can shift the nervous system response positively. Howes further explains that when feeling overwhelmed or anxious, one should focus on breathing techniques, such as the physiological sigh, to move from a fight-or-flight state to one of calmness. He recommends using this breathing hack before daunting tasks like speaking to a boss or asking someone out to boost confidence.

Understand Confidence Is a Skill Developed Through Practice

Confident People Act and Build Confidence Through Exposure and Overcoming Challenges

Confidence is likened to a muscle or a brain state that can be trained through practice. Howes presents seven frameworks for building lasting confidence, supported by a range of professionals, from therapists to elite athletes. He advises against waiting to feel confident but instead to start taking actions that foster the feeling of confidence.

The importance of continuous practice and exposure to build confidence is also stressed. Howes discusses exposure therapy and how stepping out of one's comfort zone can improve self-assurance. Neuroscience research supports this, showing that repeated actions induce neuroplastic changes in the brain.

Confidence Is Practiced, Not Inherent

Training Your Brain to Project Confidence Through Body Language, Eye Contact, and Vocal Tone

Lewis Howes emphasizes the impact of micro behaviors, such as a clear voice, sustained eye contact, and open body language, on perceptions of confidence. He cites Vanessa Van Edwards who states that nurturing and actively working on confidence is essential, like watering a plant.

Howes discusses the psychological constructs used in sports psychology, where the manner of thinking and feeling in high-pressure moments is critical. Techniques like visualization, breath work, and meditation can help individuals perform better ...

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Practical, Science-Backed Strategies to Build Confidence

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Counterarguments

  • While physiological sighs may help some individuals, the effectiveness of breathing techniques can vary from person to person, and they may not be a one-size-fits-all solution for managing stress or building confidence.
  • Reframing stress as excitement might not be feasible in all situations, especially for individuals with anxiety disorders for whom stress can be debilitating rather than motivating.
  • The idea that confidence is solely a skill developed through practice may overlook the role of inherent personality traits, genetic factors, or mental health conditions that can influence one's level of confidence.
  • The assertion that confident people build confidence through exposure and overcoming challenges might not account for the fact that repeated failures or negative feedback can sometimes diminish confidence rather than build it.
  • The strategies mentioned, such as visualization and meditation, may not be effective for everyone, and some individuals may find other methods more helpful in building confidence.
  • The emphasis on body language and vocal tone as indicators of confidence could potentially lead to overgene ...

Actionables

  • Create a "confidence journal" to track and reflect on daily confidence-building activities. Each day, write down situations where you felt less confident and how you addressed them. For example, if you hesitated to speak up in a meeting, note what you did to overcome that hesitation, such as taking a deep breath and reminding yourself of your expertise on the topic.
  • Develop a "confidence playlist" with songs that make you feel powerful and practice your posture and facial expressions while listening. As you listen, stand in a power pose, practice making strong eye contact with yourself in a mirror, and work on maintaining a clear, steady voice by singing along or speaking affirmatively about your goals.
  • Engage in "confidence role-play" ...

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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

Overcoming Mental Blocks and Embracing Growth Through Failure

Lewis Howes discusses how reframing failure and building resilience contribute to personal growth and confidence. He emphasizes the importance of embracing failure and discomfort to transform fear into confidence.

Reframe Failure As Learning Opportunity

Lewis Howes touches on the idea that failures are not a reflection of oneself as a loser, but rather valuable lessons that provide wisdom and knowledge necessary for future success. Kobe Bryant's quote underscores the fear of failure often leading to failure. Howes explains that by viewing failure neutrally, as informative data rather than a reflection of personal worth, it helps in building confidence.

Failures and Mistakes as Data For Improvement Build Confidence

Novak Djokovic acknowledges bad days as opportunities to grow stronger through trials and tribulations. Even when one is not feeling confident, improvements can be revealed by stats, demonstrating that failures and mistakes are simply data for improvement. Howes encourages understanding that mistakes are a part of life and that inner peace allows for more confidence.

Resilience Is a Key Component of Confidence

Neuroscience shows that repeated actions lead to changes in the brain, suggesting that facing fears can build resilience through practice. Howes states that like working out, building confidence requires effort and sometimes straining to grow stronger. He highlights that stepping into discomfort and facing fears is the path to building resilience and thereby confidence. Howes himself overcame his fear by being dragged onto the dance floor after months of hesitation, later becoming proficient in salsa dancing through persistent practice.

Expanding Comfort Zone By Facing Fears Builds Confidence

Overcoming a major fear creates a belief in one's mind that they can tackle other challenges, which builds unshakable confidence. Howes mentions that confidence comes from being in flow, responding naturally rathe ...

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Overcoming Mental Blocks and Embracing Growth Through Failure

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Counterarguments

  • While failures can be reframed as learning opportunities, not all failures result in positive outcomes or provide clear lessons, and some may lead to repeated mistakes if not properly analyzed and understood.
  • Viewing failures neutrally can be beneficial, but it may not be realistic for everyone, especially if the failure has significant emotional or financial consequences.
  • Mistakes can be opportunities for improvement, but this may not account for systemic issues or external factors that limit an individual's ability to learn from them.
  • Inner peace is indeed beneficial, but achieving it is not solely a function of mindset and can be influenced by external stressors and life circumstances that are not easily controlled.
  • Building resilience through facing fears is valuable, but it may not be suitable for everyone, particularly for individuals with trauma or anxiety disorders for whom exposure to certain fears could be harmful.
  • The concept of stepping into discomfort to grow might not acknowledge the importance of self-care and setting healthy boundaries.
  • Overcoming major fears can boost confidence, but it might also set an unrealistic expectation that one must tackle large fears to gain confidence, potentially overlooking the value of small, consistent achievements.
  • Being in flow is a state that can enhance confidence, but it's not always attainable in every situation, and some tasks may require analytical t ...

Actionables

  • You can start a "Failure Resume" to document and analyze your setbacks. Unlike a traditional resume, this document will exclusively focus on your failures, what you learned from them, and how you've grown since. For instance, if you applied for a promotion and didn't get it, write down what you think went wrong, what skills you need to improve, and any feedback you received. This practice encourages you to see failures as steps towards success rather than endpoints.
  • Develop a "Fear-Facing Plan" where you identify a fear each month and take small, deliberate steps to confront it. If public speaking terrifies you, start by speaking up more in meetings, then progress to giving a short talk in a safe environment like a toastmasters club or with friends. Documenting these experiences and reflecting on the feelings before and after can help you recognize your growing resilience and confidence.
  • Create a ...

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7 Science-Backed Frameworks That Will Rewire Your Brain for Unshakable Confidence

Tracking Progress and Leveraging Your Support System

Building confidence is a process that benefits greatly from an encouraging support system and consistent practice rather than aiming for perfection.

Recognize That Confidence Is Not Built In Isolation

Lewis Howes asserts that confidence isn’t built in a vacuum. Surrounding oneself with a “confidence circle” is essential, as these supportive individuals can function as elevators to your self-belief and accountability. Howes shares that neuroscience studies demonstrate supportive relationships can help manage stress and reinforce self-identity, which is crucial in sustaining confidence over time.

Surrounding Yourself With Supportive People Boosts Self-Belief and Accountability

Howes recalls a moment at a dance where a girl pulled him onto the dance floor, showcasing how others can play a role in facing fears and building confidence. He does not specifically discuss this instance as a moment of building self-belief and accountability but emphasizes that surrounding oneself with supportive people is crucial for confidence growth.

Confidence Deepens When Supported by Others

Confident individuals, as Howes describes, understand that they do not have all the answers and rely on mentors, coaches, and a supportive community to learn and grow. After initially overcoming his fear, Howes continued to learn salsa through group and private lessons, demonstrating his search for mentorship and structured learning environments to build his confidence.

Seek Mentors, Coaches, and Trusted Friends or Family For Guidance, Feedback, and Encouragement to Accelerate Your Confidence-Building Journey

Howes advises listeners to reach out to people who inspire them for feedback and to allow their support circle to help them become "unstoppable." He shares his own experience of having coaches and mentors throughout his life, including now, to gain tools, feedback, wisdom, and insights. He suggests imagining a mentor or a parent reading out one's accomplishments to reinforce confidence and encourages action by reaching out to someone for encouragement or accountability.

Consistency, Not Perfection, Is Key To Developing Confidence ...

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Tracking Progress and Leveraging Your Support System

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Counterarguments

  • While supportive systems are beneficial, over-reliance on external validation can hinder the development of self-sufficiency in confidence-building.
  • Confidence can also be built through solitary activities that foster self-awareness and self-reliance, challenging the notion that it cannot be built in isolation.
  • Some individuals may find that too much external support leads to pressure and stress, which can be counterproductive to building confidence.
  • The idea that confident individuals rely on mentors and coaches might not apply to everyone; some people may develop confidence through independent learning and personal experiences.
  • Seeking mentors and coaches can be valuable, but it can also create a dependency that might inhibit the development of personal judgment and decision-making skills.
  • Consistency is important, but there should also be room for flexibility to adapt to life's unpredictable nature, which can also build resilience and confidence.
  • Regular practice is crucial, but it is also important to re ...

Actionables

  • Create a "confidence journal" to track your daily actions that require courage, noting how you felt before and after each action. This can help you see your progress over time and understand that consistency is more important than perfection. For example, if you spoke up in a meeting, write down the outcome and how it contributed to your growth, regardless of whether it went perfectly.
  • Start a "confidence accountability group" with friends or colleagues where you meet regularly to set personal goals, share experiences, and provide constructive feedback. This group acts as a supportive system, reinforcing the idea that confidence is built through relationships and consistent practice. During these meetings, you could role-play challenging scenarios and discuss strategies to handle them.
  • Volunteer for roles or tasks that are slightly outside your comfort zone, such as public spe ...

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