What Are You Doing With Your Life? An 89 Year Old’s Best Advice for You

Judie Robbins describes a turning point after attending a dazzling light show at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City, and a nightcap of port at the St. Regis hotel bar. Inspired by the atmosphere and the experience, she proposes to her partner John that they “just drop everything and go away for a year to Europe.” Over dinner, after sharing a gummy with John, Judie floats the idea that they put on backpacks, get on a train, and explore the continent. She envisions a trip blending John’s wish list of destinations—which are often places Judie already knows—with her love of spontaneous travel, combining both of their desires into one immersive, adventurous journey.

Judy and John's Partnership: Embracing an Unconventional Goal Through Different Personalities and Styles

Judie and John are opposites. John is organized, orderly, and addicted to the news, happiest researching facts or sitting at his computer. Judie, by contrast, prefers reading fiction and letting her imagination wander, and loves spontaneity in her travels. John also worries about his house and routine domestic responsibilities. When Judie suggests they both travel with backpacks, John objects that he isn’t a backpack kind of guy and prefers a suitcase, so Judie jokingly suggests he can take his suitcase while she’ll manage with her smaller clothes and a backpack.

John’s skepticism and caution have not slowed Judie’s ambitions. She identifies creative solutions to their practical concerns, like proposing that they rent their houses out to fund their extended trip. John’s organized nature actually enhances their planning: every time they travel, he consults AI for insight, recommendations, and even detailed scenic routes, ensuring their travels are well-informed and never dull.

Renting Vermont Property to Fund European Year Abroad Exploration

To finance the adventure, Judie and John discuss renting out their respective homes in Vermont. Judie also considers tapping into her network of European friends for tips and potentially housing along the route, though she acknowledges they might still need to book rentals with strangers. With the trip planned for August, they have about eight months to organize accommodations, transportation, and destinations, and Judie expresses confidence that, with this lead time, they’ll ...

The “Don’t Wait” philosophy emerges from Judie Robbins’s personal experiences and realizations about life’s unpredictability and limited window for adventure. Judie and Mel Robbins explore how sudden tragedy, the decline of beloved activities, and transformative moments inspire urgent action, regardless of age or circumstance.

Friend's Death at 62 Spurs Judy to Live Fully Now

Judie Robbins is powerfully influenced by the recent death of a very good friend at age 62 in a car crash. At the memorial, held on the Battenkill River where ashes and flowers were cast, a cousin spoke about the danger of postponing meaningful actions. The cousin recalled speaking to Carol—the deceased—about having coffee together “tomorrow,” but Carol died the next morning, emphasizing how quickly and unexpectedly opportunities to connect can be lost.

This memorial and its clear message deeply affect Judie, who says, “That’s what I wanna do now, because I can,” underscoring her decision not to put off trips or important experiences any longer. The suddenness of the tragedy cements in Judie’s mind the lesson that tomorrow is never guaranteed. The memorial’s refrain, “don’t wait to say I love you… don’t wait to take the trip you’ve always wanted,” becomes a mantra for living without unnecessary delay.

Judy's Realization About Mortality and Bridge's Decline Prompted Her to Pursue Her Dreams

In parallel with the loss of her friend, Judie reflects on playing duplicate bridge at her club. After a session, she looks around and realizes that in five years, most of the group, herself included, might no longer be able to play—either due to age or the game’s decline. Their instructor comments that bridge is “a dying game” because younger generations aren’t picking it up, which makes Judie reevaluate the practicality of waiting to enjoy activities she loves.

Judie concludes that if her opportunity to play and embrace passions may soon disappear, the time to act is now. This realization propels her to push aside hesitations and excuses—“just get up and do it”—rather than imagining there is always more time to fulfill her dreams.

The Philosophy Of "Don't Wait" Promotes Life Changes Regardless of Age, Circumstances, or Obstacles

Judie insists that waiting for the “right time” is fruitless; the right moment is always now. She observes that people constantly justify delays with excuses—children, work, timing—but notes, “the perfect moment never arrives.” Both Judie and Mel echo that time doesn’t wait for us, and the future is never ...

Judy's Privileged Life Until Compelled to Change

Judy Robbins shares an honest reflection on her life, emphasizing she never wants to complain because she recognizes her privilege. She describes a routine filled with going to dinner at the club, playing bridge, and playing golf during the summertime—activities she acknowledges are enviable to many. Despite her gratitude for this pleasant lifestyle, Judy finds herself growing tired of the repetition. As she moves into what she calls the last stage of her life, she expresses a desire to do something different and seek new experiences.

Embracing Change: Balancing Comfort With Desire For Transformation

Judy’s recognition that a good life doesn’t guarantee indefinite fulfillment underlines the idea that comfort can be a platform for new chapters. Mel Robbins highlights that even after diligently building routines and enjoying the fruits of one’s hard work, it is natural and valid to reach a point of wanting change. Judy’s willingness to consider renting homes and deliberately removing herself from her familiar social and geographic context demonstrates her commitment to personal transformation and growth. This decision illustrates that creating new life chapters often requires purposeful action, even when comfort is readily available.

"Creating a New Chapter" Applies To All, Not Just the Wealthy Who Travel Internationally

Mel Robbins expands Judy’s story into universal advice: reevaluating life isn’t confined to those with the means to travel or make drastic moves. She encourages everyone, regardless of age or resources, to ask themselves if their routine has become too predictable, or if their current chapter feels exhausted. Robbins insists it’s not necessary to relocate internationally or embark on grand adventures; sometimes, small changes in daily life—like adjusting routines or seeing one’s surroundings d ...

Judie Robbins emphasizes that maintaining interest in others and in life itself is essential for staying engaged and avoiding boredom as you grow older. The reflections shared between Judie and Mel Robbins center on the importance of curiosity, fresh experiences, and responsibility for combating the narrative of aging as a steady decline.

Judy Suggested Disinterest In Others and Life Makes one Boring

Lack of Interest Equals Boring

Judie Robbins firmly advises, "If you're not interested, you will not be interesting." She believes that being disengaged from others makes one unappealing and leads to becoming the type of older adult people avoid. According to Judie, aging individuals who focus only on themselves, especially by frequently recalling autobiographical tales or lingering on health woes, become boring. She warns that people typically avoid those who dwell on such topics.

Judy Warns That People Avoid Older Adults Who Focus On Health Complaints and Past Stories

Judie notes that many older adults are caught in a cycle of sharing stories about their childhood, college, or marriage, along with complaints about their health. She bluntly asserts that most people do not care to hear constant tales of the past or detailed descriptions of aches and pains. Instead of focusing conversations on illnesses or memories from decades ago, she encourages finding and doing things that are fun and interesting now.

Aging Perceived As Loss of Vitality Due to Focus On Past and Ailments

Judy Contrasts Dull Health Talks With Dynamic Discussions From Intriguing Experiences and Fascinating People

Both Judie and Mel recognize a common pattern where aging is perceived as a loss of vitality because conversations among older people often revolve around failing health and nostalgia. Judie argues that reciting health complaints and reliving the past makes any individual seem dull. Instead, she sees true engagement stemming from discussions about new, intriguing experiences and interactions with fascinating people.

New Experiences and Memories Aid Older Adults In Engaging Conversations

Judie encourages older adults to actively pursue activities they enjoy, which not only add excitement to their lives but also create fresh, engaging stories to share with family and friends. She points out that these new experiences quickly replace repetitive old tales and provide more dynamic avenues for conversation, keeping interactions lively and engaging.

Traveling Europe, Experiencing Cultures, Meeting People, and Collecting Stories Will Keep Judy Engaged and Interesting in Her Interactions With Family and Friends

European Diversity Offers Endless Conversation and Experience Opportunities For Judy and John

Judie cites travel as a primary way to remain interesting. She looks forward to traveling around Europe with John, highlighting how the continent's diversity promises endless opportunities for meeting people, collecting stories, and generating stimulating conversations. As both she and John are natural talkers, Judie believes that traveling together will exponentially increase their scope of interesting experiences ...

Mel Robbins and her mother, Judie Robbins, discuss the common mindset among older adults regarding money, inheritance, and the importance of enjoying life experiences rather than merely preserving savings for future generations.

Judy Noted Older Adults Preserve Savings For Heirs Over Their Own Quality of Life

Judie observes that many people her age are reluctant to spend the money they've saved because they feel compelled to leave it for their children. She notes, "Everybody feels that way when you get older. We don't want to die without leaving the money." Even though Judie recognizes that her adult children, like Mel, do not expect an inheritance or feel entitled to it, she describes this tendency as a persistent mentality among parents—a belief ingrained across generations that cannot easily change.

Older Adults Often Prioritize Leaving Inheritance Over Personal Spending

This approach often leads older adults to deny themselves meaningful experiences in the final decades of life so they may leave a larger inheritance to their heirs. Judie and Mel agree that while parents may feel a responsibility to preserve assets, it seems unwise to limit one's own life and miss opportunities for adventure or enrichment.

Mel and Judy On Balancing Financial Stewardship and Over-Saving When Time Is Limited

Judie wants to leave money for her children, reflecting the common parental mindset, but she also decides to prioritize her own adventures and experiences instead of sacrificing her quality of life. Mel emphasizes that adult children who are already self-sufficient should not be the reason parents deny themselves joy in their later years.

Don't Sacrifice Life Experiences to Leave Money To Self-Sufficient Adult Children

Mel considers it foolish for individuals to limit themselves and forgo travel or other meaningful activities simply to leave savings to heirs who do not expect or require it. Both Mel and Judie believe in balancing financial stewardship—saving and being intentional with money—without letting the desire to preserve wealth override the importance of enjoying life while there is still time.

Father's Healthy Relationship With Money: Spending On Valued Possessions or Experiences When Possible Without Excessive Worry or Self-Denial

Judie recalls her father, who had little money but was eager to spend what he had on things he loved, such as antiques, even if practicality sometimes got in the way. Despite occasional financial strain, her father preferred to enjoy his earnings rather than hoard them. Judie embraces this mentality herself, saying she doesn't worry too much about money as long as her needs are met.

Judy Embraces Her Father's Financial Mindset, Enjoying Security Through Enriching Experiences Rather Than Just Preservation

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