How to Handle Difficult People: 7 Psychological Tricks to Read Anyone, Spot a Liar & Stay in Control

Understanding deception requires careful, nonjudgmental observation of both body language and communication patterns. Drawing insights from Evy Poumpouras and Mel Robbins, these methods can be used in everyday interactions—from business meetings to personal relationships—to assess consistency, sincerity, and engagement.

Baseline Assists In Assessing Behavioral Consistency or Deception

Establishing a baseline for someone’s normal behavior is crucial. Poumpouras explains that when first meeting a person, she observes their natural actions—such as how they walk, greet, or interact in a relaxed situation—within a few minutes. This baseline reveals how they typically present themselves. For example, Mel is described as open and warm, greeting Poumpouras with uncrossed arms and clear approachability rather than hiding or waiting for peer introduction.

Observe Openness Through Body Language and Approachability

Noting whether someone's body language is open—arms uncrossed, hands visible, not clutching objects—can indicate comfort and confidence. Openness in posture strengthens the impression of sincerity and approachability.

Align Body Language With Verbal Communication, Noting any Discord

Poumpouras emphasizes that genuine communication involves harmony between what someone says and how their body moves. If verbal enthusiasm is matched by energetic, welcoming posture, the sentiment is likely authentic. Conversely, if words and actions clash, or you feel something is “off,” the dissonance may indicate dishonesty or discomfort.

Eye Contact and Behavioral Baselines Vary By Experience, Neurodivergence, and Culture

Popular beliefs about eye contact are misleading. Looking away is not necessarily a sign of lying; neurodivergent people or those from certain backgrounds may avoid eye contact for reasons unrelated to honesty. Instead, compare their eye contact patterns to their established baseline rather than making assumptions based on stereotypes.

Positioning and Alignment Show Engagement or Distancing

Physical alignment reveals how engaged someone is. If a person aligns their body frontally and maintains squared shoulders, it signals true engagement in the conversation. Talking at an angle, shifting away, or positioning toward an exit—the “fleeing position”—suggests disinterest, discomfort, or a desire to leave. When confronting difficult topics, children and suspects alike may exhibit such positioning as a nonverbal cue of unease.

Alignment Signals Engagement; Angles Indicate Disinterest or Desire to Leave

Shoulder-to-shoulder, direct alignment shows presence and attention. Angled bodies or turning away, especially when paired with distraction by devices, indicate withdrawal or nervousness.

Position Indicates Readiness to Escape Conversation or Situation

Frequent glancing at exits, sitting on the edge of a seat, or physically orienting toward a door are classic signs that someone feels ready or eager to end the interaction.

Open Arm Positioning Shows Confidence; Closed Arms May Signal Discomfort

Open arms and hands visible on the table project confidence and comfort. Closed arms—crossed, hidden, or tucked away—can signal discomfort, defensiveness, or a desire to self-protect.

Speech Patterns May Indicate Deception Without Explicit Confessions

Verbal cues often reveal more than explicit statements. Truthful people typically answer simply and directly without embellishments. In contrast, those who use exaggerated oaths (“I swear to God,” “as God is my witness”), stall (“Who, me? Homework?”), or provide verbose or tangential answers may be buying time to fabricate a response instead of recalling an actual memory.

Truthful People Speak Simply and Directly Without Excessive Oaths or Overselling

If a person answers straightforwardly—without overexplaining or grand declarations—their response is more likely to be truthful. Overselling, swearing by relatives’ graves, or repeating justifications should raise suspicion.

Stalling Tactics Indicate Someone Is Buying Time to Construct a Response Rather Than Retrieving a Memory

Delaying or using repetitive clarifying questions in response to direct questions (“Who, me?”) is a classic stalling technique to think up an answer rather than recalling genuine information.

Possessive vs. Generic Language Reveals Value Feelings

The linguistic choice between “my car” and “the car” can indicate personal attachment. Consistent possession language suggests genuine value or ownership feelings, while generic references may indicate detachment or lack of ...

Evy Poumpouras and Mel Robbins emphasize that in communication, how information is delivered often surpasses the actual content in impact and authority. The details below outline practical strategies and common pitfalls in voice and delivery, especially for women.

Delivery of Information Is More Impactful Than Words

Poumpouras stresses that the sound and delivery of your voice are often more powerful than the words themselves. Authority in your voice—achieved through strength, depth, and confidence—makes you more believable and likely to be seen as an authoritative presence. She observes that a stronger, deeper tone causes audiences to listen and perceive the speaker as more confident.

Speaking Slowly and Lower Conveys Authority and Confidence

Mel Robbins highlights the importance of speaking in a lower, slower manner, which signals authority. Poumpouras notes that world leaders and presidents own their voices by refusing to rush, showing that they believe what they have to share is worth hearing.

Pausing and Using Silence Lets You Gather Thoughts and Shows What You're About to Say Is Worth the Wait

Poumpouras advocates using pauses and silence as powerful tools. Pausing allows you to collect your thoughts and suggests that the audience should pay attention to what will be said next, underscoring its importance.

Rushing Your Message Signals Disrespect For Others' Time and Attention

Delivering a message hurriedly can come across as disrespectful to your audience, indicating you do not value their attention or your own time to communicate thoughtfully.

Streamlining Core Points Reduces Cognitive Load, Enabling Focus on Delivery

Poumpouras explains that trying to remember too much information maxes out cognitive load and undermines vocal delivery and presence. When overloaded, speakers fail to monitor their tone and end up with distracted, ineffective communication.

Memorizing a Lot Limits Recall Ability, Affecting Vocal Delivery and Presence

She cautions against memorizing large volumes of information, as this impairs presence and vocal quality. Instead, focus bandwidth on your delivery and the authority of your voice.

Identifying and Delivering Your Top Three Talking Points Gives the Greatest Hits of Your Message While Freeing You to Maintain Authority in Communication

Poumpouras suggests working with bullet points and knowing the top three areas or “greatest hits” of your message. Whether making a pitch or holding a conversation, deliver your strongest points concisely and with value in your vocal presence. Having command of core points enables you to speak with more power and clarity.

Flexibility in Conversation Enhances Connection

When interviewing or conversing, Poumpouras recommends letting the conversation flow. Familiarize yourself with your questions or agenda, but don’t be so focused on memorization that you sacrifice genuine engagement or adaptability. Check your notes ...

Building emotional resilience and mental armor is a deliberate process that involves managing criticism, learning to handle setbacks gracefully, and developing stress management tools that combine humor and intense focus. Insights from Evy Poumpouras’s experiences in high-pressure environments reveal how resilience develops through practice and conscious boundary-setting.

Building Resilience Means Knowing Criticism and Negativity Don't Have to Affect Your Emotional Core

Resilience starts with understanding that most people’s negative behavior—harsh criticism, insults, or hostility—reflects their own personal issues, not your inherent worth. Poumpouras recounts standing beside presidents as news commentators harshly criticized them. She highlights that, despite withering and public negativity, presidents cannot afford to fall apart emotionally. Instead, she learned that everything can’t penetrate your soul. Creating mental armor means observing negative input but not allowing it to be absorbed emotionally. You act as your own protective agent, choosing what you allow in and what you do not.

Mel Robbins draws out this mental armor concept further, noting it’s like having a “force field” that lets you observe negativity without letting it wound you. This requires establishing emotional boundaries—actively deciding which feedback you embrace and which you release. Poumpouras’s experience shows that this ability to filter input and recognize your own agency in what you accept is one of the greatest gifts in building resilience.

Learning to Lose Gracefully Builds Strength, Proving Setbacks Don't Destroy You and You Can Recover With Dignity Intact

Grace in defeat is another marker of resilience. Poumpouras never saw a U.S. president lose their composure or break down in adversity—no matter how intense the criticism, they held their dignity. She stresses the importance of learning to lose well: accepting that mistakes and setbacks—being fooled by someone, losing a round—are inevitable.

Robbins emphasizes that emotionally strong people do not let losses destroy them. Instead, their reaction to defeat shows internal stability and class. Embracing mistakes is essential for growth; Poumpouras believes you must be okay with messing up, reflect on the mistakes, make corrections, and move forward. Her husband’s advice, echoed by Robbins, is to remind yourself: you make the best decision possible with the information you have at the time. Beating yourself up provides no value—instead, you should accept the mistake as a lesson, make amends in your behavior if needed, and refuse to dwell in self-criticism, which only breeds insecurity.

Stress Management Combines Humor, Lightness, and Focus to Prevent Overwhelm

Managing stress begins with integrating humor and levity into tense environments. Poumpouras learned ...

Mel Robbins and Evy Poumpouras explore how to navigate relationships by observing actions, setting boundaries, and making decisions that protect emotional well-being.

Recognizing When Actions Contradict Words or Promises Is Crucial In Deciding to Continue or End Relationships

Poumpouras shares an experience where a friend’s actions repeatedly failed to match her words, revealing her true priorities. Both Robbins and Poumpouras stress that actions consistently reveal core values far more than words or promises. Robbins notes that it’s easy to ignore behavior and make excuses, but ignoring such contradictions often extends one’s disappointment.

The importance of paying attention to even minor behavioral changes is emphasized. Poumpouras advises that small problems—especially among family or teams—should be confronted early, before they escalate into larger issues. She highlights that dismissing or avoiding these small discrepancies only leads to greater anger and frustration over time.

One signal that a relationship may be toxic is a feeling of dread or a physical reaction, such as a stomach turning when someone’s name comes up on your phone. Both hosts acknowledge that these intuitive warning signs should not be ignored, as they often precede more significant relationship breakdowns.

Confront or Distance: Weighing Relationship Importance

When considering how to respond, the importance of communication and distancing tactics depends on the closeness of the relationship. For necessary relationships—like family or coworkers—Poumpouras recommends addressing issues early, with kindness and clear expectations. She says, “kindness is clarity,” noting that direct, honest conversations often prevent misunderstandings from growing into larger conflicts.

For relationships that are optional or less critical, Poumpouras describes creating space by naturally reducing the frequency and immediacy of communication. She details letting calls go to voicemail, sending texts instead of calling, and gradually engaging less. This method allows relationships to fade without confrontation when direct discussion feels unnecessary or too difficult. Sometimes, ending contact without lengthy explanations is the b ...

Own Your Problems to Build Confidence and Create Your Desired Life

Evy Poumpouras insists that responsibility for personal situations rests with the individual. She explains that when things feel wrong in life, it’s often because of what you're allowing, tolerating, or avoiding, making it your responsibility to address those issues. Avoiding or blaming others for unhappiness externalizes your power, tethering your steadiness, bravery, confidence, and happiness to the unpredictable actions of others. This leads to frustration and instability, as your well-being becomes reliant on outcomes you cannot control.

Poumpouras emphasizes the importance of making concrete decisions rather than merely hoping for improvement or expecting others to change. Whether it's a problematic relationship, a difficult professional situation, or a family issue, she urges people to do the hard thing if it's the right thing. She acknowledges the difficulty of facing truth and handling problems directly but insists this is necessary for lasting change. The process requires humility and courage, but action is the path to a life that aligns with your values and desires.

Trusting Instincts Outweighs Others' Advice for Personal Decisions

Poumpouras and Mel Robbins stress that decisions should stem from an internal sense of knowing, not from consensus or external validation. Over-asking for advice, they argue, undermines confidence and can cause confusion, leading to second-guessing and hesitation. Poumpouras points out that the most important decisions in her life, such as becoming a police officer or a Secret Service agent or knowing what action to take on 9/11, came from her own instincts—not from outside advice.

While it's acceptable to seek guidance, it should come from people with real expertise. Ultimately, nobody knows what's best for you except yourself. True confidence builds from practicing independent decision-making and trusting your gut, even if it conflicts with popular opinion or social pressure. Acting on your inner wisdom rather than waiting for external permission develops stronger self-trust and authenticity.

Courage and Bravery Stem From Acting Despite Fear, Not By Waiting to Feel Ready

Poumpouras ...