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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

By Stitcher

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explore the distinction between stress and overwhelm. While stress can serve as a motivating force that activates survival instincts, overwhelm represents a more serious condition that can impair cognitive function and decision-making abilities. The discussion examines how these states affect the body and brain differently.

The episode presents practical strategies for managing overwhelm, including specific breathing techniques and cognitive offloading methods backed by research. Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces an approach to restore control by balancing passive and active challenges, while Robbins discusses the role of personal routines and boundaries in maintaining stability during chaotic periods.

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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

1-Page Summary

Differentiating Between Stress and Overwhelm

Mel Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explain the crucial differences between stress and overwhelm. While stress can be beneficial, activating our survival instincts and motivating action, overwhelm is a more serious condition that can shut down our brain's planning and strategic capabilities. Robbins compares stress to pressing a gas pedal - energizing but temporary - while overwhelm represents a complete system breakdown, often resulting in fear and immobility.

Biological Strategies For Resetting From Overwhelm

Dr. Nerurkar explains that breathing techniques are particularly effective for managing overwhelm because breathing is both voluntarily and involuntarily controlled. Mel Robbins introduces cyclic breathing - two quick inhales through the nose - as a research-backed technique for resetting the body's stress response. Additionally, Robbins discusses "brain dumps," a cognitive offloading technique that involves writing down tasks and concerns. This method is supported by research, including a Baylor University study showing it can improve sleep quality comparable to some prescription medications.

Techniques For Managing Mental Load and Maintaining Control

Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces the concept that overwhelm stems from having too many passive challenges (like illness or taxes) compared to active ones (chosen activities). Counterintuitively, he recommends taking on more active challenges when feeling overwhelmed, as this helps restore a sense of control. Robbins builds on this by emphasizing the importance of establishing personal routines and boundaries, such as setting specific work hours or committing to daily walks, as ways to maintain agency amid chaos.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Stress is a response that can be beneficial, activating survival instincts and motivating action. Overwhelm is a more severe state that can impair cognitive functions and lead to fear and immobility. Stress is like pressing a gas pedal, providing temporary energy, while overwhelm represents a breakdown in the system, causing a sense of being unable to cope.
  • "Brain dumps" are a cognitive offloading technique where individuals write down all their tasks, concerns, or thoughts onto paper or a digital device. This process helps clear the mind by transferring information from the brain to an external source, reducing mental clutter and promoting a sense of organization. By externalizing thoughts, individuals can prioritize tasks, gain clarity, and potentially alleviate feelings of overwhelm or stress. Research suggests that this practice can improve sleep quality and overall mental well-being by decluttering the mind and enhancing focus.

Counterarguments

  • While stress can indeed motivate action, it can also lead to chronic health issues if not managed properly, suggesting that not all stress is beneficial.
  • The comparison of stress to pressing a gas pedal might oversimplify the complex physiological and psychological responses involved in stress.
  • Overwhelm might not always lead to a complete system breakdown; some individuals may experience overwhelm differently, with varying degrees of functionality.
  • Breathing techniques, while helpful, may not be sufficient for everyone, and some individuals may require additional interventions such as therapy or medication.
  • Cyclic breathing is one of many breathing techniques, and its effectiveness may vary from person to person; it is not a one-size-fits-all solution.
  • The effectiveness of "brain dumps" may depend on the individual's cognitive style and the nature of their concerns; for some, this technique might not provide relief.
  • Taking on more active challenges as a way to combat overwhelm could potentially lead to further stress for some individuals if not balanced properly.
  • Establishing personal routines and boundaries is important, but it may not be feasible for everyone due to varying life circumstances, such as caregiving responsibilities or unpredictable work environments.

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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

Differentiating Between Stress and Overwhelm

Mel Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar address the confusion amongst many who write in, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, clarifying that these two states are not the same from a medical standpoint.

Stress Motivates Action; Overwhelm Is Incapacitating Flood

Stress Activates Response; Overwhelm Shuts Down Cortex

Robbins and Nerurkar point out the different ways stress and overwhelm affect the brain. Stress is a pressure that can be beneficial, prompting action, like meeting deadlines or managing busy days. Stress switches on the brain's amygdala, urging survival and self-preservation. Meanwhile, overwhelm is likened to a psychological flood, where one's capacity is so exceeded that it causes a system shutdown and the prefrontal cortex — responsible for memory, planning, and strategy — becomes overwhelmed and ineffective.

Stress Is Temporary, Overwhelm Is Chronic Overstretching

Robbins compares stress to pressing the gas pedal in a go-go-go situation, indicating it can be energizing and motivating, yet temporary. Stress incites the brain to pay attention and help one juggle various life aspects. Conversely, overwhelm can feel like a complete collapse and failure to function, signifying a more chronic condition.

Manage Stress With Problem-Solving, Reset Mind and Body For Overwhelm

While the content provided does not include a specific guide for managing these states, Robbins suggests that healthy stress can be handled with problem-solving, implying an active approach to over ...

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Differentiating Between Stress and Overwhelm

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Stress triggers the amygdala in the brain, activating survival instincts and prompting action. Overwhelm, on the other hand, can lead to a shutdown of the prefrontal cortex, affecting functions like memory and decision-making. The brain's response to stress is more about mobilizing resources, while overwhelm can cause a sense of being incapacitated and unable to cope effectively. Understanding these distinct effects is crucial for applying appropriate coping strategies for each state.
  • The text does not provide detailed step-by-step instructions on managing stress and overwhelm. It mentions that stress can be addressed with problem-solving, while overwhelm may require a reset of the body and mind. Specific techniques or strategies for managing these states are not explicitly outlined in the text. The focus is more on understanding the differences between stress and overwhelm and recognizing when each state is present.
  • Stress triggers the brain's amygdala, prompting action and self-preservation, like meeting deadlines. Overwhelm overloads the brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, responsible for memory and planning, leading to a shutdown. Stress is temporary and can be motivating, while overwhelm is more chronic and can feel like a collapse. Understanding these distinctions helps in applying appropriate strategies to manage each state effectively.
  • Chronic stress occurs when a person experiences prolonged periods of stress without relief or relaxation. Over time, this ongoing stress can overwhelm the body and mind, leading to a state of emotional and physical exhaustion known as overwhelm. The continuous activation of stress responses without adequate recovery can push an individual beyond the ...

Counterarguments

  • Stress and overwhelm can sometimes be part of a continuum rather than strictly separate states, with one leading into the other.
  • The idea that stress is always temporary may not account for individuals who experience chronic stress in persistently challenging environments.
  • The binary categorization of stress as motivating and overwhelm as incapacitating may oversimplify the nuanced ways individuals experience and respond to stress.
  • The assertion that stress activates the amygdala and overwhelm shuts down the prefrontal cortex might be too reductive, as both stress and overwhelm can have varying effects on different parts of the brain.
  • The recommendation to manage stress with problem-solving does not acknowledge that some stressors may not be solvable and that coping strategies might also involve acceptance and emotional support.
  • The concept of resetting the bo ...

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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

Biological Strategies For Resetting From Overwhelm

Experts including Dr. Aditi Nerurkar and Mel Robbins discuss strategies for dealing with feelings of overwhelm using biological approaches to shift and reset the nervous system.

Breathing Techniques Shift Nervous System From Stress To Relaxation

Deep, Slow Breaths Engage the Parasympathetic System, Countering Fight-Or-flight Response

Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explains that breathing can manage feelings of overwhelm and chronic stress because it's the only physiological mechanism that is under both voluntary and involuntary control. By taking slow, deep breaths, a person can engage the parasympathetic system (responsible for the "rest and digest" state), thereby countering the fight-or-flight response driven by the sympathetic nervous system. Mel Robbins introduces cyclic breathing—two quick inhales through the nose—recommended for moments of overwhelm and anxiety. Robbins notes that this type of breathing, supported by research from Stanford and insights from Dr. Russell Kennedy and Dr. Andrew Huberman, can reset the body's response to stress and overwhelm.

Cognitive Offloading Clears the Mind, Resetting the Brain

Writing Tasks and Thoughts Reduces Mental Strain and Improves Sleep

Mel Robbins discusses a mental reset technique called a brain dump to help manage feelings of overwhelm, which involves writing down all the tasks, reminders, and emotional concerns c ...

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Biological Strategies For Resetting From Overwhelm

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • The parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems are two branches of the autonomic nervous system that regulate involuntary bodily functions. The parasympathetic system is responsible for rest and digestion, promoting relaxation and conserving energy. In contrast, the sympathetic system triggers the fight-or-flight response, preparing the body for action in response to stress or danger. These two systems work in opposition to maintain balance in the body's responses to different situations.
  • Cognitive offloading is a technique involving writing down tasks and thoughts to reduce mental strain and improve cognitive function. It helps clear the mind by transferring information from internal mental processes to an external source, such as paper or a digital device. This process allows the brain to operate more efficiently by offloading the burden of remembering everything, leading to improved focus and reduced overwhelm. Cognitive offloading can be particularly beneficial for managi ...

Counterarguments

  • While deep, slow breaths can engage the parasympathetic system, individual differences in physiology or psychological conditions might mean that this technique is not universally effective for everyone.
  • Cyclic breathing may not be suitable for individuals with certain respiratory conditions or those who experience increased anxiety from focused breathing exercises.
  • Cognitive offloading through writing might not be beneficial for individuals who experience stress or anxiety from the act of writing or who do not find writing to be a cathartic experience.
  • The effectiveness of a brain dump technique may vary based on an individual's cognitive style, with some people finding that writing down their thoughts does not significantly reduce their feelings of overwhelm.
  • The claim that writing things down improves brain function could be overly simplistic, as the improvement in brain function may be task-specific or not as pronounced in some individuals. ...

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If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, You Need to Hear This

Techniques For Managing Mental Load and Maintaining Control

In our hectic lives, managing mental load is crucial for maintaining psychological control and well-being. Dr. K (Alok Kanojia) and Mel Robbins discuss strategies for mitigating overwhelm and creating a sense of balance through active engagement in personal challenges and routines.

Overwhelm Results From More Passive Challenges Than Active Ones

Overwhelm often stems not from the sheer volume of tasks we face, but from the nature of these tasks. According to Dr. Alok Kanojia, the feeling of being overwhelmed arises from how the brain processes two types of obligations: passive and active challenges. Passive challenges, like paying taxes or dealing with illness, happen without our choice, whereas active challenges, like choosing to learn a new skill, are within our control.

Overwhelm is about the ratio of these two types of challenges rather than the number. When people feel overwhelmed, they tend to abandon their chosen activities, unwittingly increasing passive challenges. Thus, their controllable aspects of life diminish, leading to a greater sense of being overwhelmed.

Boundaries, Priorities, and Self-Care Amidst Chaos

Dr. Kanojia proposes a counterintuitive technique used in psychiatry: to take on more active challenges when feeling out of control. For instance, a patient grappling with addiction may take control by deciding not to drink for a day. Starting to exert control over just one aspect of their lives can make them feel less overwhelmed and more able to handle the passive challenges.

Mel Robbins supports this approach, acknowledging that adding something meaningful to one's life can ...

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Techniques For Managing Mental Load and Maintaining Control

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The idea that overwhelm stems from the ratio of passive to active challenges may oversimplify the complex nature of stress and mental load, which can also be influenced by individual differences in resilience, support systems, and mental health conditions.
  • Suggesting that people take on more active challenges when feeling overwhelmed might not be suitable for everyone, as it could potentially lead to burnout for those who are already struggling with a high mental load.
  • The recommendation to implement routines assumes that individuals have the capacity and resources to do so, which might not be the case for everyone, especially those in precarious or unpredictable life situations.
  • The strategies discussed may not address the root causes of overwhelm for some individuals, such as syst ...

Actionables

  • You can create a "challenge balance sheet" to visually map out your active versus passive challenges. Start by drawing two columns on a piece of paper or a digital note-taking app. Label one column "Active Challenges" and the other "Passive Challenges." Under each, list out current tasks and responsibilities that fall into these categories. Active challenges are those that you've chosen and that align with your goals, like learning a new skill or working on a project. Passive challenges are those that feel imposed upon you or that you do out of obligation, like unnecessary meetings or responding to unimportant emails. By seeing the balance, you can make informed decisions about where to cut back on passive challenges and increase active ones to regain control.
  • You can design a "values-based routine builder" using a simple spreadsheet. In the first column, list your core values, such as creativity, health, or family. In the next column, brainstorm routines that support these values, like setting aside time for a creative hobby, scheduling regular workouts, or having weekly family dinners. Use the subsequent columns to plan when and how often you'll engage in these routines. This approach ensures that your daily and weekly schedules reflect what's truly important to you, helping to manage str ...

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