In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explore the distinction between stress and overwhelm. While stress can serve as a motivating force that activates survival instincts, overwhelm represents a more serious condition that can impair cognitive function and decision-making abilities. The discussion examines how these states affect the body and brain differently.
The episode presents practical strategies for managing overwhelm, including specific breathing techniques and cognitive offloading methods backed by research. Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces an approach to restore control by balancing passive and active challenges, while Robbins discusses the role of personal routines and boundaries in maintaining stability during chaotic periods.

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Mel Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explain the crucial differences between stress and overwhelm. While stress can be beneficial, activating our survival instincts and motivating action, overwhelm is a more serious condition that can shut down our brain's planning and strategic capabilities. Robbins compares stress to pressing a gas pedal - energizing but temporary - while overwhelm represents a complete system breakdown, often resulting in fear and immobility.
Dr. Nerurkar explains that breathing techniques are particularly effective for managing overwhelm because breathing is both voluntarily and involuntarily controlled. Mel Robbins introduces cyclic breathing - two quick inhales through the nose - as a research-backed technique for resetting the body's stress response. Additionally, Robbins discusses "brain dumps," a cognitive offloading technique that involves writing down tasks and concerns. This method is supported by research, including a Baylor University study showing it can improve sleep quality comparable to some prescription medications.
Dr. Alok Kanojia introduces the concept that overwhelm stems from having too many passive challenges (like illness or taxes) compared to active ones (chosen activities). Counterintuitively, he recommends taking on more active challenges when feeling overwhelmed, as this helps restore a sense of control. Robbins builds on this by emphasizing the importance of establishing personal routines and boundaries, such as setting specific work hours or committing to daily walks, as ways to maintain agency amid chaos.
1-Page Summary
Mel Robbins and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar address the confusion amongst many who write in, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, clarifying that these two states are not the same from a medical standpoint.
Robbins and Nerurkar point out the different ways stress and overwhelm affect the brain. Stress is a pressure that can be beneficial, prompting action, like meeting deadlines or managing busy days. Stress switches on the brain's amygdala, urging survival and self-preservation. Meanwhile, overwhelm is likened to a psychological flood, where one's capacity is so exceeded that it causes a system shutdown and the prefrontal cortex — responsible for memory, planning, and strategy — becomes overwhelmed and ineffective.
Robbins compares stress to pressing the gas pedal in a go-go-go situation, indicating it can be energizing and motivating, yet temporary. Stress incites the brain to pay attention and help one juggle various life aspects. Conversely, overwhelm can feel like a complete collapse and failure to function, signifying a more chronic condition.
While the content provided does not include a specific guide for managing these states, Robbins suggests that healthy stress can be handled with problem-solving, implying an active approach to over ...
Differentiating Between Stress and Overwhelm
Experts including Dr. Aditi Nerurkar and Mel Robbins discuss strategies for dealing with feelings of overwhelm using biological approaches to shift and reset the nervous system.
Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explains that breathing can manage feelings of overwhelm and chronic stress because it's the only physiological mechanism that is under both voluntary and involuntary control. By taking slow, deep breaths, a person can engage the parasympathetic system (responsible for the "rest and digest" state), thereby countering the fight-or-flight response driven by the sympathetic nervous system. Mel Robbins introduces cyclic breathing—two quick inhales through the nose—recommended for moments of overwhelm and anxiety. Robbins notes that this type of breathing, supported by research from Stanford and insights from Dr. Russell Kennedy and Dr. Andrew Huberman, can reset the body's response to stress and overwhelm.
Mel Robbins discusses a mental reset technique called a brain dump to help manage feelings of overwhelm, which involves writing down all the tasks, reminders, and emotional concerns c ...
Biological Strategies For Resetting From Overwhelm
In our hectic lives, managing mental load is crucial for maintaining psychological control and well-being. Dr. K (Alok Kanojia) and Mel Robbins discuss strategies for mitigating overwhelm and creating a sense of balance through active engagement in personal challenges and routines.
Overwhelm often stems not from the sheer volume of tasks we face, but from the nature of these tasks. According to Dr. Alok Kanojia, the feeling of being overwhelmed arises from how the brain processes two types of obligations: passive and active challenges. Passive challenges, like paying taxes or dealing with illness, happen without our choice, whereas active challenges, like choosing to learn a new skill, are within our control.
Overwhelm is about the ratio of these two types of challenges rather than the number. When people feel overwhelmed, they tend to abandon their chosen activities, unwittingly increasing passive challenges. Thus, their controllable aspects of life diminish, leading to a greater sense of being overwhelmed.
Dr. Kanojia proposes a counterintuitive technique used in psychiatry: to take on more active challenges when feeling out of control. For instance, a patient grappling with addiction may take control by deciding not to drink for a day. Starting to exert control over just one aspect of their lives can make them feel less overwhelmed and more able to handle the passive challenges.
Mel Robbins supports this approach, acknowledging that adding something meaningful to one's life can ...
Techniques For Managing Mental Load and Maintaining Control
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