Reset Your Mind & Soul: How to Find Peace When Life Feels Overwhelming
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins explore how to find peace during overwhelming times. Drawing from his experiences with substance abuse and emotional avoidance, Pueblo shares insights on self-awareness and personal transformation. The conversation covers the importance of sitting with emotions rather than escaping them, and how to distinguish between intuition and fear.
Together, Robbins and Pueblo examine the connection between mindfulness and relationships, discussing how vulnerability and self-awareness contribute to deeper connections. They address practical approaches to processing emotions, setting healthy boundaries, and developing presence in daily life. The discussion includes strategies for managing anxiety, finding gratitude in everyday experiences, and balancing service to others with self-care.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Aug 7, 2025 episode of the The Mel Robbins Podcast
Sign up for Shortform to access the whole episode summary along with additional materials like counterarguments and context.
1-Page Summary
Personal Growth and Transformation
Yung Pueblo shares insights on self-awareness and personal transformation, drawing from his own experiences with substance abuse and emotional avoidance. He emphasizes the importance of identifying limiting patterns and celebrating small steps toward improvement. Together with Mel Robbins, they discuss how facing emotions directly, rather than escaping them, is crucial for growth. Both speakers advocate for a compassionate, non-judgmental attitude toward oneself during the transformation process.
Managing Emotions and Mindset
Instead of escaping from anxiety through habitual actions, Yung Pueblo suggests sitting with emotions and observing them directly. He characterizes intuition as a slow, calm wave that emerges from the body's core, distinctly different from fear's full-body tension and mental chatter. Mel Robbins adds that creating peace often requires saying no to overwhelming commitments. Both speakers emphasize the importance of finding gratitude in daily experiences and embracing change as a natural part of life.
Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
True connection requires vulnerability and self-awareness, according to Yung Pueblo, who emphasizes that deep relationships form when both individuals commit to healing and growth. He suggests that while perfect healing isn't necessary before entering relationships, willingness to grow is essential. Mel Robbins and Pueblo both stress the importance of setting boundaries as a form of self-love, distinguishing between people-pleasing (driven by fear) and true compassion (balancing service to others with self-care).
The Power of Presence and Acceptance
Yung Pueblo describes how mindfulness and presence can lead to joy and peace, drawing from his experiences with silent retreats. He advocates for processing emotions without becoming overwhelmed, suggesting that facing feelings directly is less frightening than anticipated. Mel Robbins contributes practical advice, such as recognizing physical signs of tension and using deep breathing to return to the present moment. Both speakers emphasize how developing a peaceful mindset can positively influence relationships and personal growth.
1-Page Summary
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While identifying limiting patterns is important, some argue that too much introspection can lead to analysis paralysis or excessive self-criticism.
- Facing emotions directly is beneficial, but some individuals may require professional support to do so safely, especially in cases of trauma or severe mental health issues.
- Sitting with emotions is a valuable practice, but it may not be suitable for everyone, and some may find structured coping strategies more effective.
- Intuition can be a helpful guide, but it can also be influenced by biases and past experiences, so it should not be the sole basis for decision-making.
- Saying no to commitments is important for peace, but some people may find fulfillment and peace in taking on multiple commitments, depending on their capacity and support system.
- Embracing change is generally positive, but some changes can be detrimental, and resistance to certain changes can be a rational and healthy response.
- Vulnerability is key in relationships, but not all environments or relationships are safe for vulnerability, and discernment is needed to protect oneself.
- Willingness to grow is crucial, but some individuals may be at different stages of readiness, and pushing for growth before someone is ready can be counterproductive.
- Setting boundaries is a form of self-love, but the process of setting and enforcing boundaries can be complex and challenging, especially in cultures or situations where this is not supported.
- Distinguishing between people-pleasing and true compassion is important, but the line between them can sometimes be blurry, and people may have different interpretations of what constitutes each.
- Mindfulness and presence can lead to joy and peace, but they are not panaceas, and some individuals may struggle with mindfulness practices due to various psychological conditions.
- Processing emotions without becoming overwhelmed is ideal, but not everyone has the same emotional regulation capabilities, and some may need additional tools or therapies.
- Recognizing physical signs of tension is useful, but not all individuals are equally aware of their bodies, and some may need training or therapy to develop this awareness.
- Developing a peaceful mindset can influence personal growth, but external factors such as socioeconomic status, environment, and systemic issues can also significantly impact one's ability to maintain such a mindset.
Actionables
- Create a "Small Wins Journal" to document daily progress, no matter how minor, to reinforce the habit of acknowledging growth. By writing down even the most minor achievements or improvements, you create a tangible record of your progress, which can be motivating during times of self-doubt or stagnation. For example, if you managed to sit with your anxiety for five minutes without distraction, note it down and reflect on the experience.
- Develop a "No Script" for politely declining requests that don't align with your priorities or capacity. This can be a short, pre-written statement that you're comfortable saying or sending, which helps to assert your boundaries without feeling guilty. For instance, if someone asks you to take on an extra project, you might respond with, "I appreciate your confidence in me, but I need to focus on my current commitments to maintain my well-being."
- Start a "Gratitude and Change" reflection routine where you spend a few minutes each evening writing down what you're grateful for and how you've embraced change that day. This practice can shift your focus from what's lacking to what's abundant and how you're adapting to life's dynamics. You might note something as simple as being grateful for a sunny day or how you adapted to a last-minute schedule change with grace.
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Personal Growth and Transformation
Yung Pueblo emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-acceptance, while Mel Robbins shares insights into how one can embark on a journey of personal transformation by embracing change and setbacks.
Embracing Change and Setbacks as Growth Opportunities
Identifying Limiting Patterns and Shifting To Healthier Behaviors
Yung Pueblo acknowledges the common tendency to avoid difficult emotions, which often leads to unhealthy patterns of behavior. He speaks from personal experience, detailing how his substance abuse was a form of escape from unprocessed emotional pain. He underscores the importance of identifying past patterns that hold one back—such as seeking external validation and avoiding emotions—and then actively deciding to shift to healthier behaviors.
Celebrate Small Steps: Paving the Way For Transformation
Pueblo highlights the value in acknowledging and celebrating even the smallest steps taken towards improvement. Through his own journey, which involved overcoming addictions, he illustrates the power of taking intentional steps towards transformation. He also suggests that a mindset of happiness independent of external achievements can enrich one's goals, like relationships and marriage.
Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptance as the Foundation For Transformation
Facing Emotions Instead Of Escaping
Both Pueblo and Mel Robbins touch upon the importance of facing emotions rather than escaping from them. Pueblo recounts his "survival mode" and how a moment of awareness helped him realize his potential for improvement without hitting rock bottom. He shares a turning-point experience that resembled a mild heart attack, illustrating the severe consequences of not facing one's emotions. Furthermore, Pueblo and Robbins both acknowledge the growth that comes from attending ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Personal Growth and Transformation
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While self-awareness and self-acceptance are important, they are not the only components of personal growth; discipline, goal-setting, and external support can also play significant roles.
- Embracing change and setbacks is beneficial, but it's also important to recognize when to resist change that is not in one's best interest or when setbacks could be avoided through better planning and decision-making.
- Identifying and shifting away from unhealthy behaviors is crucial, but it's also necessary to understand that behavior change is complex and often requires more than just awareness, such as professional help or systemic changes.
- Celebrating small steps is valuable, but overemphasis on small achievements should not replace the pursuit of larger, more challenging goals that lead to significant life changes.
- A mindset of happiness independent of external achievements is enriching, but external achievements can also provide meaningful milestones and motivation for personal growth.
- Facing emotions is important, but there are times when temporary distractions or coping mechanisms can be beneficial for managing overwhelming emotions until one is ready to face them.
- The idea that one should not trust self-perception during emotional turmoil might be oversimplified, as emotional states can also provide valuable insights into personal values and boundar ...
Actionables
- You can start a "feelings inventory" journal where you write down your emotions daily, noting patterns without judgment. This practice helps you become more self-aware and recognize emotional patterns. For example, if you consistently feel anxious on Sunday nights, you might be identifying work-related stress that you can address with specific strategies like relaxation techniques or time management improvements.
- Create a "setback diary" to reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. Whenever you face a setback, write down what happened, how it made you feel, what you learned, and one small step you can take to move forward. This could be as simple as learning to cook a healthy meal after overindulging or reaching out to a friend for support after a social mishap.
- Develop ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Managing Emotions and Mindset
Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins share their insights on managing emotions and fostering a peaceful mindset amidst life's chaos.
Inner Peace and Presence in a Chaotic World
Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins explore strategies to navigate stress and appreciate the positive aspects of everyday life.
Recognizing Nervous System Overwhelm and Pausing to Prevent Stress
Yung Pueblo describes how instead of escaping his anxiety through a habitual action, he chose to sit with his emotions and experience the feeling, confronting his anxiety directly. He advises observing feelings rather than distracting oneself, to prevent stress from compounding. In a similar vein, Mel Robbins emphasizes the power of saying no to new commitments that would overwhelm one's energy, advocating for creating peace instead of chaos.
Finding Gratitude In Overlooked Daily Blessings
Yung Pueblo speaks to the importance of being present, particularly with loved ones, and finding inner peace and new gratitude while enjoying life's moments. He also shares his personal thankfulness for simple things like natural spring water and his reliable Toyota RAV4. Mel Robbins echoes the sentiment, urging people to identify the small, everyday things they're grateful for.
Harnessing Your Intuition to Guide Decisions and Actions
Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins discuss how to differentiate between intuition and fear and the value of embracing change in our lives.
Distinguishing Between Fear and Intuition
Yung Pueblo explains that intuition feels like a slow, calm, and consistent wave, contrasting with fear, which is often characterized by full-body tension, ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Managing Emotions and Mindset
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- Observing feelings without distraction may not be suitable for everyone, especially those with severe anxiety or trauma-related disorders, where professional guidance is necessary.
- Saying no to new commitments can sometimes lead to missed opportunities or hinder professional and personal growth.
- Gratitude for daily blessings is beneficial, but it may not address deeper systemic issues that affect one's well-being.
- Intuition can be a helpful guide, but it can also be influenced by biases and past experiences, which may not always lead to the best decisions.
- Embracing change is generally positi ...
Actionables
- You can practice emotional labeling by keeping a feelings journal where you write down your emotions as they arise, without judgment, to better understand and manage them. This technique helps you to become more aware of your emotional patterns and triggers, leading to improved emotional regulation and stress management.
- Create a "peace menu" of activities that you can turn to when feeling overwhelmed, such as a five-minute meditation, a short walk, or listening to a calming playlist. Having a go-to list makes it easier to choose peace-promoting activities over chaotic or stressful options, especially when you're tempted to overcommit.
- Use a decision-making coin with "intuition ...
Get access to the context and additional materials
Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins discuss the importance of cultivating relationships based on growth, kindness, and understanding while emphasizing the necessity of setting boundaries for self-love and personal peace.
Cultivating Relationships on Growth, Kindness, and Understanding
True Connection Requires Vulnerability and Facing Unhealed Areas
Yung Pueblo asserts that true connection in a relationship requires vulnerability, being consistently kind, caring about growth, and being able to see beyond one’s personal perspective. He also believes that a peaceful mindset translates into better relationships and personal growth. He suggests that when both individuals commit to healing and knowing themselves, it naturally brings them closer together, creating a connection where both feel seen and calm.
Diego Perez mentions that disconnecting from oneself leads to superficial relationships. He found that by telling himself the truth and living in honesty, he could foster better relationships with his wife, parents, and others.
Focus On Self-Healing, Not Controlling Others
Yung Pueblo indicates that one cannot form a deep connection with someone who is disconnected from themselves. Instead of waiting to be "perfectly healed" before entering a relationship, he underlines that much healing can occur while fostering a harmonious relationship. It is essential, he notes, to be willing to grow, as a relationship shines a mirror on how individuals need to self-heal.
He discusses how understanding past mistakes does not dictate one’s future and that recognizing one’s ability to open new chapters is essential for growth. His poem on the attributes of a good relationship includes commitments to each other, space to heal and grow, and breaking past patterns of dependency for a more peaceful internal state.
Boundaries as Self-Love
Yung Pueblo talks about boundaries being a form of self-love. He notes that while boundaries should not become walls to avoid problem-solving, they should be regularly assessed to ensure they are still meeting personal needs. He especially emphasizes having clear personal boundaries to support another person's joy without losing oneself.
Mel Robbins discusses the difficulty in setting and holding boundaries, suggesting that learning how to say no is a habit that creates peace. Both Robbins and Pueblo agree that saying no is essential for protecting personal time and energy and that individuals are not responsible for others' reactions to their boundaries.
Yung Pueblo also mentions the challenge of drawing boundaries due to a lack of self-love and the confusion between people-pleasing and compassion. He highlights the importance of honoring boundaries and treating oneself gently, which suggests setting boundaries from self-care rather than fear.
Overcoming Fear of Disappointing Others, Recognizing Boundaries Protect Peace
Mel Robbins concurs, adding that saying no to things you do not want to do and challenging listeners to be clear and decisive is critical. She believes that others are re ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While vulnerability is important, some individuals may find that too much vulnerability can lead to feeling exposed or taken advantage of, suggesting a need for a balance.
- The idea that healing should occur within a relationship might not apply to everyone; some individuals may require personal space or professional help to heal.
- The assertion that disconnecting from oneself leads to superficial relationships may not account for those who find depth and meaning in relationships despite struggling with self-connection.
- The concept of telling oneself the truth and living honestly is ideal but may not consider the complexity of self-deception and the unconscious mind.
- The notion that understanding past mistakes does not dictate the future can be overly optimistic, as some individuals may find that their past continues to significantly influence their present and future.
- The idea that boundaries are a form of self-love might not resonate with everyone, as some cultures or individuals may view boundaries as a form of selfishness or detachment.
- The recommendation to regularly assess boundaries assumes that individuals have the necessary self-awareness and objectivity, which may not always be the case.
- The emphasis on saying no and setting boundaries may not address the nuances of relationships where compromise and flexibility are also key to harmony and understanding.
- The idea that others are responsible for managing their reactions can be seen as disregarding the impact one's actions can have on others, potentially overlooki ...
Actionables
- You can create a "vulnerability jar" where you write down moments you felt vulnerable and what you learned from them. Keep this jar in a place you frequent, and whenever you experience a moment of vulnerability, write it down on a piece of paper, fold it, and put it in the jar. Over time, you'll accumulate a collection of personal growth moments that you can reflect on, helping you see the value in being open and vulnerable.
- Start a "boundary buddy" system with a friend where you hold each other accountable for maintaining personal boundaries. Set a weekly check-in to discuss any challenges you faced in setting boundaries, how you addressed them, and celebrate the successes. This practice encourages you to stay committed to your boundaries and provides a support system to help navigate difficult situations.
- Develop ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
The Power of Presence and Acceptance
Yung Pueblo and Mel Robbins suggest that embracing presence and acceptance are vital for personal healing and growth.
The Present: A Source of Joy, Wisdom, and Peace
Mindfulness: Returning To the Present Moment
The importance of reconnecting with the present moment is emphasized by Yung Pueblo, who mentions the need to focus on life's joyful details, indicating a practice of mindfulness. Silent retreats have helped Pueblo notice continuous change, promoting a present-focused experience where being in the moment and internal focus are central. Likewise, Mel Robbins talks about recognizing and addressing physical signs of tension, like raised shoulders, with a deep breath, embodying the practice of mindfulness and the act of becoming present to reduce stress.
Embrace and Process Emotions Without Overwhelm
Yung Pueblo points out the significance of feeling emotions in the present without distraction, standing in discomfort as a subtle act of healing. He asserts the freedom in experiencing emotions without clinging to them, suggesting honor can be given to emotions without letting them take over. Pueblo finds that facing emotions directly is less scary than anticipated and emphasizes processing emotions in a way that does not lead to overwhelm.
Radiating Calm and Influencing With Compassion
Reflecting On Unhelpful Patterns and Choosing Healthier Ways
Pueblo's journey includes reflections on unhelpful patterns, like drug use, leading him to choose healthier habits. He talks about the realization of needing to work with the universe, moving away from destructive behavior towards constructive paths, creating inner peace amidst chaos. The power of reflection in one's emotions and history also contributes to growth and healthier relationships.
Yung Pueblo explains how spending time in the present moment with loved ones elevates the level of enjoyment and engagement. Further, he encourages moving through the day gently after acknowledging one's emotions and suggests that people who radiate peace likely have healed their ...
Here’s what you’ll find in our full summary
The Power of Presence and Acceptance
Additional Materials
Counterarguments
- While mindfulness and presence can reduce stress, they are not a panacea and may not be as effective for everyone, depending on individual circumstances and mental health conditions.
- The concept of processing emotions without overwhelm may not acknowledge the complexity of trauma and how it can sometimes require professional intervention beyond self-help techniques.
- The idea of standing in discomfort as a subtle act of healing might not be suitable for all, especially for those with a history of trauma or mental health issues where such experiences could potentially be re-traumatizing.
- The notion that radiating calm and influencing with compassion is always a result of healed generational trauma may oversimplify the complex nature of intergenerational trauma and the healing process.
- The emphasis on personal responsibility in healing and growth might inadvertently minimize the role of systemic issues and external factors that can impede personal development.
- The suggestion that moving away from unhelpful patterns is solely a matter of choice overlooks the complexities of addiction and the fact that substance use disorders often require more than just personal reflection and willpower to overcome.
- The idea that spending time in the present moment with loved ones always enhances enjoyment and engagement may not take into account relationships that ar ...
Actionables
- You can create a "Presence Alarm" by setting random alarms throughout the day as reminders to pause and engage in a brief mindfulness practice. When the alarm goes off, stop whatever you're doing and take three deep breaths, focusing on the sensations of the breath and the sounds, smells, and sights around you. This helps integrate mindfulness into daily life and can make it easier to reconnect with the present moment regularly.
- Develop a "Comfort Zone Challenge" where each day, you intentionally do something slightly uncomfortable or unfamiliar. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work, trying a new food, or striking up a conversation with a stranger. By regularly stepping out of your comfort zone in small ways, you build resilience and become more comfortable with discomfort, which can aid in emotional processing and growth.
- Start a "Five Senses Journal" where ...
Related Shortform Content
Get access to the context and additional materials
Create Summaries for anything on the web
Download the Shortform Chrome extension for your browser
