⁠BENNY BLANCO: The Secret to Failing Your Way to Success

Benny Blanco and Jay Shetty challenge the conventional negative perception of failure and illuminate its foundational role in achieving lasting success. Their reflections emphasize learning, risk-taking, and the crucial influence of one’s environment in transforming setbacks into stepping stones.

Failure Defines Success Rather Than Detracts From It

Blanco observes that society has instilled a fear of failure from a young age, often treating it as something to avoid rather than as a necessary ingredient of growth. “You've been told your whole life, don't fail,” he remarks, but believes that success stories are actually defined by the accumulation and lessons of many failures: “You can't be a success story without having all these failures who make you who you are and that you learn from and learn what to do differently.” Failure, Blanco insists, only remains negative if there’s no learning or growth.

He recounts early moments in his own life—doubts about not sharing interests with his father and pursuing music in unlikely circumstances—as their own forms of failure. Rather than dwell on these, he chose to reinterpret such moments as formative experiences. He believes people remember successes, not setbacks: “Nobody's sitting there like, hey, remember that one time when you tried to do that thing and it didn't work?” If people do focus on failures, they are not the right people to keep as friends.

Blanco and Shetty further differentiate failure from loss, arguing that the crucial distinction lies in learning: while a failure accompanied by reflection becomes a stepping stone, a loss without learning can become destructive. Shetty highlights how even renowned creators and performers encounter failures—failed relationships, creative missteps, or uncertain projects—but that embracing those experiences often leads to breakthroughs.

Developing "Amnesia" To Failure Helps Move Forward Without Paralysis By Setbacks

Blanco credits his ongoing willingness to dust himself off and try again—what he calls “amnesia to failure”—as a key to his achievements. He highlights the creative process behind hit songs as full of setbacks, false starts, and initial embarrassment, but says that persevering, adjusting, and believing in the process led to breakthroughs: “There were so many times where that idea could have stopped. Failure, embarrassment, all of those things could have stopped this idea from happening. But we kept pushing through.”

He regards the fear of public embarrassment as far less consequential than the regret of not trying: “Maybe your face gets a little bit red...but that’s the worst that’s gonna happen.” Real failure would be letting the fear of mistakes and embarrassment prevent any action at all. Instead, he advocates for embracing the possibility of striking out—“I rather swing and strike the fuck out so many times”—over choosing the ‘safe’ and ultimately unsatisfying path.

Blanco and Shetty both stress the importance of mindset after setbacks: great creators ask themselves every day, “What are we doing today?”, shake off past mistakes, and remain willing to make small adjustments and try again. Bla ...

Jay Shetty and Benny Blanco discuss the pitfalls of imitation and the transformative power of embracing authenticity, both in creative endeavors and personal life.

Copying Others May Temporarily Validate but Hinders Developing Your Unique Voice and Identity

Benny Blanco recalls that early in his career, people compared his music to super-producers Timbaland and Pharrell. While he sees this as a tremendous compliment—having grown up idolizing them—he admits that he was simply copying their styles and not truly being himself. Seeking to fit in and create music that would be accepted, he hoped for quick success through imitation. However, when he played his tracks for Andrew, his A&R turned manager, Andrew offered frank feedback: if he wanted a Timbaland or Pharrell production, he would work with them directly. He challenged Benny to find and express his own sound.

Prompted by that feedback, Benny went back to the drawing board to discover what a “Benny production” actually sounded like. The music he created was quirky and unconventional. At first, nobody understood it, and it didn’t yield immediate success or “short-term placements.” Despite initial confusion and repeated failures, Benny persisted. Over time, his experimental approach led to a breakthrough in identity and recognition. He notes that although the easy way is to conform to short-term trends—what he calls low-hanging fruit—that strategy limits a creator’s innovation potential. Instead, being different can feel uncomfortable and risky, but it lays a foundation for future “explosive returns”: true, lasting impact comes from standing out, not fitting in.

Genuine Experience Resonates More Powerfully Than External Inspiration

Shetty underscores this lesson by recounting a story from Benny’s book involving Ed Sheeran. Initially, Ed tried to write a song mimicking the plot of “The Graduate,” focusing on a love affair with an older neighbor. Benny pressed him to write from real life instead. Ed hesitated, not wanting to give his ex the satisfaction of a song, but Benny suggested writing about not wanting to write the song. That moment of honest self-reflection generated one of the most important lyrics for “Love Yourself,” which became a hit for Justin Bieber.

Benny explains that what resonated with listeners was Ed’s willingness to admit his genuine feelings—the reluctance to show an ex she mattered and the raw frustration behind that emotion. This authenticity connected with people everywhere, illustrating how universal appeal arises from honestly expressing unique, vulnerable experiences rather than manufactured or borrowed stories. Benny credits memorable creative success to this fusion of individuality and emotional truth.

Be Yours ...

Benny Blanco discusses the importance of maintaining equilibrium in life through a framework he calls “the stool,” emphasizing boundaries, self-awareness, and conscious prioritization.

Stability Requires Investment in Career, Relationships, and Health

Blanco uses the stool metaphor to illustrate life’s structure: your life sits atop a stool held up by three fundamental legs—career, relationships (family and loved ones), and health. If any leg becomes weaker or shorter, the entire stool becomes unstable, making your life wobbly. In his experience, focusing excessively on a single pillar, such as career, at the expense of relationships or health, causes everything else to deteriorate. He describes periods where he ignored everything but work, surrounded by similarly driven people, which ultimately led to exhaustion, frayed relationships, and declining health.

Ambitious people often reach the top of their professional journey only to discover the cost: lost family connections, broken health, and overwhelming anxiety. Blanco stresses that true fulfillment comes from investing equally in all three areas. Neglecting any single pillar makes the foundation fragile and unsustainable, ultimately undercutting long-term success and happiness regardless of outward achievements.

Boundaries on Work Hours and Personal Time Protect Relationships and Health From Career Ambition

Blanco describes setting firm boundaries to protect his relationships and wellbeing from the demands of his career. He insists on consistent family time, dinners, and shared meals—these are non-negotiable forms of infrastructure that sustain stability in his life. He credits his mother, who worked in assisted living, for teaching him that people’s greatest regret is neglecting time with family and friends in favor of work; her lessons guide his commitment to prioritize loved ones.

He gives special importance to walking, cooking, and visiting the farmer’s market with his mother, activities he likens to “plants that must be watered” to nourish life. Weekly date nights with his partner and daily check-ins are essential, involving genuine, attentive conversations about each other’s experiences and stresses. He sets boundaries to avoid working on weekends unless absolutely necessary and is intentional about never letting work consistently infringe on family rituals or personal care.

"Saying 'No' Is More Respectful and Powerful Than Overcommitting."

Blanco reflects on his earlier need to please everyone, which led to spreading himself too thin and disappointing others regardless. He explains that overcommitting dilutes your energy, resulting in incomplete or low-quality work and strained relationships, whereas an honest “no” respects everyone’s time. Knowing your limits and having self-respect is more powerful than trying to be everyone’s superhero.

He recounts having to turn down coveted projects despite the ...

Benny Blanco’s career stories illuminate how strategic risk-taking, honoring gut instincts, valuing boundaries, and learning from setbacks are all vital for creative and professional success.

Backing Genuine Passion Over Safer Alternatives

Benny describes how Julia Michaels, already an in-demand songwriter with recent chart achievements, wrote "Issues" during a period of personal turmoil. Though many established artists with number one records wanted to record the song, Julia expressed a deep personal connection to it—the first time she'd felt a song was truly hers. She asked Benny to fight for her to keep the song for her own debut, despite her being an unknown artist. Benny sensed her passion and authenticity and decided to take the risk, championing her choice even as others pressured them to choose a safer route with bigger stars.

His belief in her fire and the song’s personal resonance ultimately paid off. "Issues" launched Julia Michaels as an artist, earned massive airplay, and received Grammy nominations. Benny reflects on how the song’s impact came from Julia’s lived experience and perspective; it likely would not have reached the same heights with anyone else. He acknowledges he could have chosen the "shortcut" with an established star, but breaking a new artist, trusting genuine passion and talent over fame, produced greater rewards.

Standing Firm on Boundaries and Values During Crucial Moments Shows Conviction for Long-Term Success

Recounting work on Britney Spears’ "Circus" album, Benny was told he’d lose his songwriting credit if he went to visit his long-distance partner. Despite the threat, he stood firm, asserting his worth and setting a necessary boundary. He left, and upon returning, nothing bad happened—his credit remained, and the feared risks proved imaginary. Benny emphasizes that knowing your talent and trusting you can create other great work drives the courage to defy controlling situations. Staying true to boundaries and values is critical to long-term fulfillment and success.

Learning From Failures Positions You Better for Success Than Avoiding Adversity

Benny uses Bruno Mars as an example of resilience and work ethic separating lasting artists from one-hit wonders. Bruno started as a talented unknown, even impersonating Elvis as a kid, but faced early setbacks—being dropped from a record deal and struggling to gain recognition. He wrote songs for others and provided demos, but labels hesitated to let him be featured due to his lack of fame. Yet Bruno's talent was so undeniable that attempts to replace his vocals failed, and his breakthrough came because no one else could match him.

Bruno’s ascent was defined by relentless work and a refusal to be discouraged by failure. Benny admires Bruno’s willingness to work on a song for three years straight if needed, calling him the "hardest working man in show business." His amnesia to failure and ...

Career Success Can Mask Internal Struggles, Requiring Courage to Address Imbalance and Neglect of Mental Health

Benny Blanco shares candidly that despite achieving remarkable career milestones, including frequent chart-topping songs, he battled debilitating mental health struggles for six months, marked by agoraphobia, anxiety, and severe tics. During this period, while his music continued to be released and public perception suggested he was thriving, Blanco struggled to get out of bed and grappled with overwhelming anxiety—his physical posture even dictated by irrational fears. He describes how the world on Instagram or social media always looks perfect, yet many people behind the scenes are hurting deeply.

He began to turn his life around by seeking therapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy, and learning to set boundaries such as not working past certain hours. Initially, he hid his struggles, believing he had to project strength and carry the burden alone. This experience taught him the necessity of prioritizing mental health over career ambitions—he resolved never to sacrifice his well-being for work again.

Being Open With Your Partner About Struggles and Support Needs Strengthens the Relationship

Blanco describes the importance of vulnerability with his partner, Selena Gomez. He openly communicates when he needs support, saying things like, “I miss you. I really could use some extra cuddles or hugs right now,” or sharing when he’s feeling unmotivated. An example he gives is crying in the shower from stress and confronting Selena with his fears about handling his responsibilities. She responds by either offering inspiration or simply relating and being present, sometimes just sitting together to watch a movie. Blanco appreciates how Selena always helps him put things into perspective and guides him with optimism when courage is needed. Their honest emotional communication builds intimacy and strengthens their relationship.

Celebrating Victories to Prevent Burnout and Savor Success

Blanco observes that many successful people push aside joy, relentlessly pursuing the next achievement without celebrating current victories. He cautions that this mindset—prevalent in a social media era that accelerates success and comparison—leads to burnout and regret, as people realize too late that they never paused to appreciate top songs, Grammy nominations, or breakthroughs. Blanco highlights the value of savoring accomplishments rather than being “too cool” or focused on perpetual striving.

For Blanco, deep happiness is found in small, present moments. He recalls a day spent entirely in bed with Selena, simply ...