In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Layla Taylor from "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" shares her journey of self-discovery and the personal truths she's kept hidden for 25 years. She discusses her experience coming out as bisexual after years of confusion, her conversion to Mormonism at 16 driven by a need to fit in rather than spiritual conviction, and how the church's teachings shaped unhealthy views of intimacy and sexuality.
Taylor opens up about her divorce at 19, the financial hardships of single motherhood, and her struggles with mental health and self-worth as a Black woman navigating predominantly white spaces. She reflects on breaking generational cycles through intentional parenting, teaching her sons the emotional tools and self-acceptance she lacked growing up. Throughout the conversation, Taylor emphasizes choosing authenticity over conformity and using her platform to represent marginalized communities.

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Layla Taylor spent years confused about her attraction to women, growing up without any queer representation to validate her feelings. She downplayed romantic moments with women as alcohol-fueled curiosity rather than acknowledging them as genuine expressions of her sexuality. A turning point came when a woman reached out on social media, leading to an intentional first date where Layla finally recognized her bisexuality with clarity and intention.
Growing up Black in a predominantly white area intensified Layla's need to fit in, making her reluctant to stand out in any additional way. At 16, she converted to Mormonism seeking the familial stability she saw in her peers, less out of spiritual conviction and more for social safety. Combined with a lack of familial communication about sexuality, Layla kept her true self hidden for 25 years.
A painful New Year breakup became a catalyst for change. Her best friend Kate's immediate support when she came out boosted Layla's confidence, leading her to announce her bisexuality on a podcast. Today, Layla is excited to express her love openly and embrace public affection with her girlfriend, despite inevitable judgment. Her message is clear: "Be more scared of not being who you are than of what others think." She hopes her visibility normalizes queer identity for others who lack representation.
Layla's conversion to Mormonism at 16 was driven by her desire for the family stability she witnessed in Mormon friends, not spiritual conviction. The church provided moral guidance during her mental health struggles, but she never truly believed—attending primarily to fit in as a Black girl who already felt different. She went through the motions to avoid standing out further.
Mormon teachings shaped Layla's unhealthy relationship with intimacy, emphasizing that sex was solely for marital procreation and centering male pleasure. She received no sex education at home or school, leaving her uninformed about her body and consent. Cultural pressure led her to marry at 19 after becoming pregnant, a common pattern in her Mormon community.
After leaving the church, Layla freed herself from the pressure of perfection. She had occasionally attended services for social standing despite her disbelief, but after her separation, she abandoned the pretense entirely. The church's rejection of LGBTQ+ individuals contradicted her identity as an openly bisexual woman, reinforcing her inability to affiliate with the institution. Layla now advocates for informed religious conversion over the uninformed youthful commitment she made based on just "five lessons," believing significant education should be required before any lifetime religious commitment.
Discovering her pregnancy at 19, Layla was terrified and unprepared. Fearing single motherhood due to her own broken home upbringing, she married her boyfriend despite doubts, hoping to provide stability. The marriage quickly revealed itself as toxic and surface-level, but her fear of being alone kept her trapped. Her ex-husband manipulated her with divorce threats, exploiting her childhood trauma.
The turning point came when he threatened divorce one final time. Instead of begging, Layla acknowledged her worth and told him to pack, choosing to face her lifelong fear of being alone rather than stay diminished. After separation, she faced severe financial hardship—limited groceries, eviction notices, and utility shutoffs—all while filming "Secret Lives." She hid these struggles from everyone, maintaining a facade on camera.
Despite the shame and hardship, Layla's journey through single motherhood taught her resilience. She now reclaims her story with pride, publicly identifying as a strong single mother. Her co-parenting relationship with her ex evolved into a functional partnership focused on their children's wellbeing, with Layla openly acknowledging him as an exceptional father.
Growing up as the only Black student in her class, Layla internalized racist beauty standards, believing beauty meant blonde hair and blue or green eyes. At just ten years old, she attempted to bleach her skin in a bathtub, desperate to fit in. Her mother treated her curly hair as a problem rather than celebrating it, teaching Layla to straighten it and hide her natural texture.
These struggles contributed to an eating disorder that first emerged in high school and resurfaced years later. Now in remission, Layla recognizes that healing herself breaks generational cycles. Her childhood lacked dialogue about bodies, sexuality, emotions, and mental health, leaving her without tools to process experiences. To heal, Layla began speaking to herself with the gentleness she would offer a vulnerable child, understanding that positive self-talk influences her wellbeing and her children's self-image.
Layla prioritizes daily affirmations with her sons, having them repeat, "I'm handsome and I'm smart and I'm loved and I'm cared for"—words she wishes she'd heard as a child. She models confidence and treats herself with kindness in front of her sons, teaching them self-acceptance. She's committed to making home a safe space where her children can express themselves without fear of judgment.
Layla plans age-appropriate talks about sexuality, relationships, and consent, noting that avoiding these conversations doesn't prevent curiosity—it just deprives children of accurate guidance. She draws on her own struggles to equip her sons with better emotional tools and coping mechanisms, teaching resilience and emotional literacy.
As the only Black cast member on "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," Layla uses her platform to represent marginalized communities. She's open about being a single mother and bisexual, modeling authenticity and acceptance. Parenthood transformed Layla's self-relationship—seeing the beauty in her quarter-Black sons made her realize she couldn't teach them self-value without valuing herself first, moving her from shame to pride in her identity.
1-Page Summary
Layla Taylor spends much of her youth confused about her feelings for women. Growing up, she watches shows like Pretty Little Liars and finds herself drawn to scenes of girls kissing, but doesn’t know how to interpret her attraction—there’s simply no queer representation in her environment to let her know such feelings are normal. She recounts spending decades downplaying her romantic and physical moments with women: if she kissed a girl at a party, she chalked it up to alcohol and curiosity rather than a genuine part of her sexuality. For years, Layla convinces herself these moments are just “phases.”
A turning point comes when a woman reaches out to Layla on social media. What begins as a playful DM leads to an intentional first date, and their first kiss is a sober, genuine encounter—different from her past secrecy or downplayed experiences. It becomes the first time Layla knows, with intention and clarity, that her attraction to women is real, meaningful, and not something to ignore or minimize.
Layla’s experience of growing up Black in a predominantly white area intensifies her need to fit in. She explains that being visibly different makes her eager to minimize any other difference, including her sexuality. At 16, she converts to Mormonism, seeking the familial stability she sees in her 98% Mormon school peers. Participating in seminary and church activities is less about spiritual conviction and more about social safety—one less thing to make her stand out in a world where she already feels isolated. Combined with her messy home life and a lack of familial communication about sexuality, Layla keeps her true self hidden for 25 years, internalizing both the religious pressures to seek heterosexual marriage and the silence around LGBTQ+ identity.
A painful breakup at the beginning of the year becomes a catalyst for change. For the first time, Layla is able to focus on herself, value her alone time, and reflect deeply on who she really is. Her best friend, Kate, is the first person she confides in; Kate’s immediate support and lack of judgment boost Layla’s confidence. Encouraged by this, Layla decides to announce her bisexuality on a podcast. She hopes her visibility encourages others to feel safe and proud, especially thos ...
Coming Out and Lgbtq+ Identity
Layla Taylor describes her conversion to Mormonism as occurring during her teenage years, a time she characterizes as a rebellious phase. She explains that her childhood was marked by instability and a lack of consistent family structure. Observing the tight-knit and structured families of her Mormon friends, she became drawn to the sense of support and stability she witnessed. At age 16, Layla believed that adopting the Mormon faith might grant her the sense of family cohesion she longed for. It was less about spiritual conviction and more an attempt to fill a familial void and fit in with her peers.
While Layla’s motivation to convert was not rooted in deep faith, she acknowledges that the church did offer her a measure of guidance and purpose during difficult periods. Struggling with her mental health and overwhelmed by challenges at home, the structure provided by the church helped her cope and offered her motivation to persist through adversity. She credits her Mormon experience with pulling her out of a dark place during high school, providing a moral compass she felt she was lacking.
Despite regular church attendance, Layla confesses that her participation was motivated by social pressures and her desire to blend in. As a Black girl who also harbored unspoken feelings for other girls, church presented an opportunity to hide her differences and reduce scrutiny from peers. She reveals that her attendance was performative; she did not internalize the teachings or genuinely invest in the faith and admits to going through the motions primarily to avoid standing out.
Layla outlines the Mormon teaching that sex is reserved for marriage and primarily for the purpose of procreation, not pleasure. She notes that this approach often reinforces the notion that sexual activity centers around male pleasure and ignores other healthy perspectives on intimacy. Church members often avoid discussions or education about sexuality, resulting in a culture where couples marry young, frequently after becoming pregnant, and have limited knowledge about intimacy.
Growing up, Layla never received comprehensive sex education, either at home or in school. She recalls never having “the birds and the bees" talk with her parents and lacking any formal sex education classes, a situation she attributes to living in a predominantly Mormon area. This lack of information made her curious and uninformed, leaving her with misconceptions about sex, her body, and the concept of consent.
Layla describes how cultural and religious pressures led her to marry at 19 after becoming pregnant. She observes that in her Mormon community, it is common for people to have sex for the first time after marriage and to get pregnant soon after, a direct result of church teachings that conflate sex primarily with procreation and attach shame to pre-marital intimacy.
After getting married, Layla occasionally continued attending church with her then-husband, largely for appearances and to maintain her standing within the Mormon community. However, she notes that she had not been a truly active member for four to five years prior to finally leaving.
Following her separation, Layla chose to abandon the pretense entirely, stopped attending any religious services, and began to question b ...
Religious Experience and Institutional Pressure
Layla Taylor discovers her unexpected pregnancy at 19 during a visit to urgent care in Provo, Utah. She is completely unprepared for the news, initially believing she just had a stomach bug. Terrified and feeling unsupported, with her boyfriend as her only close relationship at the time, she faces overwhelming uncertainty. Layla contemplates a range of options: abortion, adoption, marrying her boyfriend, or co-parenting—unsure of what's best. However, her upbringing in a broken home, marked by parental divorce and a toxic dynamic, shapes her choice. Fearing single motherhood and wanting stability for her children, she decides on marriage, hoping to provide the family structure she missed. This decision is driven less by a genuine belief in a healthy relationship and more by trauma and fear, wanting to avoid the fate she witnessed as a child.
Layla enters marriage with little true connection to her husband, rooted in shallow attraction and forced commitment. The relationship lacks a solid foundation, quickly revealing itself to be toxic and surface-level. Despite this, her fear of single motherhood keeps her in the marriage. She makes her husband’s happiness and needs her priority, seeing it as her duty. Layla ignores her own well-being, sacrificing herself for the comfort and stability of her husband and children. Her ex-husband often uses the threat of divorce to manipulate her, exploiting her deep-seated childhood fear of repeating her parents’ toxic relationship. For a long time, Layla stays, valuing the known pain of a dysfunctional marriage over the uncertainty and fear of being alone.
The turning point comes when her husband, for the final time, threatens divorce. This time, she doesn’t beg or plead. Instead, she acknowledges her own worth, realizing if he cannot see it, that is his problem, not hers. She tells him to pack, accepting the terrifying choice to face her lifelong fear of being alone. This act of self-respect brings clarity; Layla decides she would rather be alone than diminished in a relationship that does not honor her. Embracing uncertainty, she accepts that her well-being and her children’s peace are worth more than clinging to a broken marriage.
After separation, Layla faces immediate and intense financial hardship. Without a steady income before her exposure through the show and brand deals, she often relies on family loans. Groceries are limited to $30 per week, and she gives her children priority at meals, sometimes eating only their leftovers. She receives repeated eviction notices and faces utility shutoffs, all while filming the first season of "Secret Lives." Layla hides these struggles from cameras and castmates, never confiding in anyone out of shame and fear. She believes she should have stayed married, as at least in her marriage the bills were paid and food was on the table. Layla maintains a facade, smiling on set despite her private desperation, and still w ...
Relationships, Divorce, and Single Motherhood
Layla Taylor's story reflects the deep and lasting impact of racist beauty standards, lack of open dialogue about bodies and emotions, and the importance of reshaping self-perception for the next generation.
Growing up as the only Black student in a classroom of thirty, Layla Taylor internalizes the belief that beauty means having blonde hair and blue or green eyes. She spends her formative years wishing to fit this standard, resenting her own Black features in the process. At just ten years old, influenced by her surroundings and the lack of positive representation, Layla attempts to bleach her skin by sitting in a bathtub filled with bleach, desperate to lighten her complexion and fit in.
This shame is compounded at home. Layla’s mother, finding her daughter’s curly hair hard to manage, treats it as a problem instead of celebrating it. Layla learns to straighten her hair as soon as curls appear, growing up believing her natural texture should be hidden. She becomes ashamed of any visible Blackness, wishing to conceal those aspects of her identity from others.
Layla’s internalized racism and rejection of her body lead to an eating disorder that first emerges in high school. The disorder resurfaces years later, closely tied to the idea that acceptance by white peers—especially in terms of body and appearance—is paramount. Layla connects these struggles to the desire for validation that echoes the messages she received growing up. Now in remission, Layla expresses pride in her progress. She recognizes that healing herself is a way to break generational cycles, ensuring that her children will not grow up burdened by body image struggles and poor mental health modeled by their caregivers.
Layla describes a childhood void of conversations about bodies, sexuality, emotions, or mental health. Her parents never discussed sex, reproduction, or relationships; she learned through trial, error, and sometimes dangerous misinformation. Emotional issues and mental health challenges went unrecognized in her family, where the norm ...
Mental Health and Self-Worth
Layla Taylor demonstrates how intentional parenting can disrupt cycles of shame, lack of communication, and emotional neglect. Her approach centers on affirmations, open talks, modeling authenticity, and emotional empowerment, shaped by her own experiences and struggles.
Layla prioritizes daily affirmations with her sons, having them stand in front of the mirror and repeat, “I’m handsome and I’m smart and I’m loved and I’m cared for.” These are the words she wishes she heard as a child. She believes instilling gratitude and self-love early sets up children for success across various aspects of life—career, school, relationships, and self-confidence. Layla emphasizes that uplifting self-talk is underappreciated, and her main goal as a parent is to ensure her boys love themselves and others and strive to be good people. By modeling confidence and treating herself with kindness, especially in front of her sons, Layla teaches them the importance of self-acceptance and healthy self-perception. She reflects on viewing herself as a little girl and using the compassionate language she directs at her children for her own self-talk, breaking cycles of internalized negativity.
Fostering open communication, Layla is committed to making home a space where her children feel safe expressing themselves and asking questions, without fear of parental judgment. This environment, she believes, not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also lays the foundation for emotional resilience and honesty.
Layla is intentional about addressing sexuality, relationships, and consent with her children. She notes that in her own childhood, topics like “the birds and the bees” were never discussed, which only increased her curiosity and led her to seek information from unreliable sources. Layla believes that avoiding these conversations does not prevent curiosity—it merely deprives children of accurate guidance, ultimately leading to poor decisions.
As a parent, she plans to proactively discuss safe sex, respect, pleasure, and the meaning of consent, aiming to equip her sons with a clear understanding before misinformation can reach them. By normalizing conversations about bodies and sexuality, Layla fosters healthier attitudes and emotional literacy in her children.
Layla draws on her own struggles to give her sons the support systems and coping skills she lacked. She acknowledges that while she cannot change the unchangeable circumstances of her childhood and the impact of discrimination, she can empower her children. She wants them to process their emotions in healthy ways, circumventing the destructive patterns she once fell into.
Layla is dedicated to teaching resilience, emotional literacy, and self-compassion for her sons’ better mental health and authentic lives. She hopes that providing these guidance tools will help them navigate inevitable challenges successfully.
La ...
Breaking Generational Cycles Through Parenting
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