NOAH KAHAN: Imposter Syndrome, Anxiety & The Pressure of Success (What He’s Never Shared Before)

Noah Kahan candidly explores his struggles with mental health, the journey through therapy, persistent depression despite achievement, medication’s impact on creativity, and the process of interrupting anxious thoughts. Through reflective conversation with Jay Shetty, Noah reveals the complexities and breakthroughs of managing anxiety and depression while maintaining a creative career.

Role of Professional Support In Breaking Harmful Cycles

Noah underscores that there is a profound difference between simply attending therapy and actively engaging in it. He shares that although his parents encouraged openness and seeking help, for years he was not truly committed—he went through the motions, kept conversations surface-level, and mostly said what was expected. As a result, the deeper issues remained unaddressed, creating cyclical behaviors like binge eating or struggling with addiction to avoid confronting pain. Noah likens these behaviors to grooves in the brain formed from long-standing routines, making genuine change difficult without intense self-examination.

Meaningful therapy, Noah asserts, requires vulnerability, commitment to change, and above all, the right therapeutic match. In his experience, feeling unsafe or having a therapist disrespect vulnerability created barriers, making it hard to trust someone new. Such negative experiences can be akin to a breakup—opening up only to be met with laughter, dismissal, or feeling misunderstood leaves one reluctant to try again. However, with a therapist who made him feel safe and asked probing, insightful questions, Noah experienced real progress, addressing not just surface symptoms but the entire constellation of emotional patterns.

A significant insight Noah received from his therapist was questioning his attachment to pain. Clinging to emotional pain as a core part of his identity sometimes felt easier than risking the unfamiliar territory of happiness or health. He recognized that letting go of familiar pain means facing the intimidating task of developing a new self-concept, which can seem scarier than remaining unhappy but “safe” in suffering.

Struggles With Depression Despite Success

Despite personal and professional achievement, Noah describes feeling persistent depression and disconnection. Whether in beautiful settings such as Joshua Tree or amid career milestones, he wakes up some mornings miserable with no obvious external reason (“the birds are fucking chirping… it’s beautiful outside… and I wish I could wake up and not be miserable for no reason”). This chronic low mood feels like the baseline of his daily life, sometimes escalating into more intense depressive episodes.

The struggle extends deeply into self-image and self-perception. Noah’s sense of self has long been shaped by hiding vulnerability to fit in and gaining acceptance, only to then feel isolated and disconnected at home. Music became his private outlet—his "special little buddy"—and provided a means of self-expression he struggled to find elsewhere. Yet, self-doubt stubbornly persists: validation or criticism easily sways his self-worth ("If someone says that I did a good job, I’m like yeah, I’m good. Someone says that I suck, I’m like, fuck, I suck.").

Body dysmorphia further complicates this internal landscape. Noah explains that while people think it’s about physical appearance, it’s more rooted in a distorted, negative self-image—how one sees and thinks about oneself, often established in childhood and hard to articulate. The challenge of compartmentalizing these feelings and then seeing them revealed, as in his documentary, makes the struggle feel raw and public. He admits uncertainty (“I have no idea—it’s just something present within me”) and describes approaching these issues with new caution and awareness, no longer sprinting past the “door” where these feelings live, but finally beginning to face and “brush it with my hand.”

Jay Shetty points out how rarely men discuss these issues publicly and commends Noah’s vulnerability, suggesting his openness may help others come to terms with their own feelings.

Noah also emphasizes the isolated nature of creative work under the burden of mental illness. The perceived link between self-expression and identity means that struggle in creativity feels like a struggle with oneself. For Noah, communicating this struggle to others, especially respected peers, was daunting. Yet, receiving acknowledgment from fellow artists or men who share similar battles offered genuine relief—a sense that others have been there too, and there is a path forward.

Breaking Free From the Myth Medication Destroys Creativity

Noah confesses he long feared that medication for anxiety and OCD would dull his creativity or remove the emotional pain necessary for songwriting. He hesitated to seek help, worrying that healing would make ...

Unlearning the Myth: Pain Isn't Essential for Artistic Excellence

Noah Kahan grew up believing that pain and suffering were requirements for creating meaningful art, citing the example of famous artists like Van Gogh who were thought to have needed anguish to produce masterpieces. This belief led Noah to think that health and happiness might make his music bland, trapping him in self-harm cycles where he equated artistic merit with emotional turmoil. He feared that improving his own well-being would diminish his creative edge and restrict his authenticity. Only recently has Noah begun to unwind these ideas, seeking ways to access genuine emotion and powerful work while prioritizing his mental health and learning that it is possible to make good music without living in constant pain.

Authentic Emotion vs. Performative Vulnerability in Creativity

Noah's growing career made him hyperaware that vulnerability itself, once authentic, was becoming a marketing tool for artists. The commercialization of personal stories left him conflicted, fearing that genuine feelings were being overshadowed by audience perception and the pressure to maintain a narrative of depth or sadness in his music. He describes how, even during the writing process, considerations about marketing and audience reception complicate his intentions, with album rollouts and strategies contaminating creativity before songs are even finished. Noah reflects nostalgically on a time when his music was purely for himself or perhaps his mom, untouched by commercial concerns or external validation.

Creativity Through Personal Truth Over Approval or Strategy

Creative paralysis forced both Noah Kahan and Jay Shetty to confront the pressure for perfection and approval. Jay describes a period when he sought to replicate the technical success of his previous work, only to discover that this mathematical, strategic approach stifled authentic writing. Instead, both found greater resonance when they returned to their personal truths. Noah started writing music for his eight-year-old self, prioritizing joy and intrinsic motivation ove ...

Noah Kahan’s experience making a documentary about his life and family becomes a catalyst for emotional growth, understanding, and connection—both internally and among his loved ones. Through this process, Noah wrestles with the challenges of unveiling difficult family dynamics, the risks and rewards of public vulnerability, and the surprising ways in which shared storytelling can heal.

Communicating Difficult Family Stories Before Public Release

Noah Kahan admits one of his biggest regrets is sharing painful family dynamics, such as his parents’ divorce and his father’s brain injury, with the world through song lyrics before having honest, direct conversations with his parents. He describes how he often found it easier to express himself through songwriting, but later realized that publicly marketing these stories to millions without first discussing them with his family may have left them feeling blindsided. His mom and dad have been consistently supportive and happy for his emotional openness, but he wishes he had communicated his feelings privately first, believing that would have been healthier and fairer for everyone involved.

This regret led Noah to approach his next album and the documentary with far greater intentionality about communication. He makes certain that his family fully understands what he’s saying, why he’s saying it, and gives them the opportunity to voice discomfort before songs or scenes reach the public. As filming progressed, what began as a small, contained project evolved into a documentary delving deeply into marriage, illness, insecurities, and body issues. The process necessitated ongoing conversations with his family—balancing uncomfortable truths with respect and ensuring all participants were comfortable and felt heard.

When screening the completed documentary, Noah was initially anxious about sharing it with his family. He hoped for easy approval but recognized the experience of watching the film would be emotional and challenging for them, as it revisited painful family experiences and forced them to see themselves through an outsider’s perspective. Through ongoing, open conversations, Noah was prepared to halt the process if any family member felt too uncomfortable, underscoring a commitment to mutual respect.

Documentary as Catalyst For Family Healing and Understanding

What began as a relatively casual endeavor turned into an intense yet bonding family experience. Noah describes how filming quickly moved from simple scenes—like playing guitar—to deeply intimate conversations, such as a pivotal moment on the porch with his father. Vulnerable moments emerged naturally, creating unexpected opportunities for genuine emotional connections.

Watching the finished documentary as a family was one of the most stressful days of Noah’s life but ultimately proved transformative. The family found themselves laughing, crying, hugging, and discovering new layers of love and humor in their own real-life interactions. The documentary allowed them to step back and observe how they interact, fostering gratitude and a sense of being “really good to each other.” For the first time, they could visualize one another’s experiences with fresh empathy, whether Noah’s dad’s journey with his injury or other shared challenges, deepening their collective bond.

Although uncomfortable at times—seeing oneself and family pain on camera, revisiting old wounds, or confronting awkward realities—the documentary showed the family how these moments could have value beyond personal discomfort. Noah’s sister argued that sharing their story might help others facing similar circumstances, reframing the act of vulnerability as a meaningful, collective service. Ultimately, the vulnerability and honesty required to make the film proved therapeutic, helping everyone process pain and find deeper connection.

Recognizing Projection; Learning Family Members Process Pain Differently

Making the documentary taught Noah a powerful lesson about projection and assumption. He realized he had been projecting his own shame, anxiety, and worry onto family members, fearing they would feel used or exposed when, in reality, they were supportive and found value in the experience. Seeing his father watch the documentary and respond simpl ...

Noah Kahan reflects candidly on the interplay between success, perfectionism, and the search for validation—revealing how these forces shape his creativity, achievements, and self-worth.

The Trap Of Linking Identity and Worth to Outcomes

Noah Kahan openly admits to being deeply moved by both praise and criticism, describing a cycle where positive comments boost his self-esteem and negative ones devastate him. He yearns to find equilibrium—a state where he can believe in himself outside the volatility of external feedback. This yearning, he explains, has roots in his childhood, where approval at the dinner table shaped his sense of worth. As this pattern matured, it evolved into seeking professional validation: the responses to his work, both good and bad, have outsized influence.

Kahan describes how success can intensify the stakes, especially following the breakthrough of his album "Stick Season." The anticipation for each new milestone compounded his fear of failure, making it difficult to separate his own value from outcomes. He observes that this struggle existed even before public recognition—feeling both pride and loss over past songs, wondering if he’d ever top his previous work. As professional approval became more important, so did the internal pressure to sustain achievements.

Fear of Loss and Inability to Enjoy Achievements

Kahan confesses a fear of losing the special moments success has brought, leading to a hyperawareness that renders him anxious about their fleeting nature and unable to be fully present. Even as he reaches major milestones, like performing at Fenway Park or building a global career, he is anxious that these moments might be ephemeral and irrevocable. In his documentary, this is visualized through scenes of imposter syndrome, worry, and an inability to savor achievements because they're shadowed by the fear they won’t last or be repeated.

He expresses jealousy at the idea of people who can be entirely present and content—those who can fully embrace the moment without worrying about its context or the future. Instead, Kahan often finds himself longing for the past, or intensely aware that he cannot recapture previous joy, resulting in a sense of disconnection from accomplishment and satisfaction.

Grammy Experience Reflecting Misplaced Priorities and Expectations

2024 Grammy Awards: Noah Sees Grammy As Only Success Measure and Feels Failure Despite Others’ Support

At the 2024 Grammy Awards, Kahan admits he made winning the award his sole measure of success that night. Despite the hard work of everyone around him and the thrill of nomination, he viewed loss as personal failure—feeling purposeless in the room once he lost.

He Projected Universal Desire for His Victory, Creating His Own Disappointment

Kahan recalls projecting his intense desire for victory onto others, convinced his family, friends, and team would be disappointed. This self-generated sense of collective longing amplified his disappointment and sense of isolation, making him feel as if he had let everyone down, even as they remained proud and supportive.

External Validation and Sense Of Worth

Despite rational awareness, Kahan's internal narrative made external validation the ultimate determinant of his self-worth. He notes how accolades, or the lack of them, can dominate one’s sense of value, even while recognizing the need to recalibrate his mindset.

Filtering Feedback Through Intention Over Ego

Kahan, alongside Jay Shetty, explores how to process feedback in a way that nurtures rather than harms. Shetty describes embracing positive feedback with the heart, letting the appreciation fuel one’s sense of purpose without feeding ego or arrogance. Co ...