Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Feel Stuck, Confused, or Behind? Use THIS Blueprint and Completely Transform Your Life in ONE Year!

Feel Stuck, Confused, or Behind? Use THIS Blueprint and Completely Transform Your Life in ONE Year!

By iHeartPodcasts

In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty outlines a blueprint for transforming your life through systematic changes in five key areas. He explains how redesigning your environment can influence 45% of daily behaviors, and how developing new skills can reduce anxiety while creating multiple opportunities for growth. The discussion also covers how relationship quality predicts future well-being, supported by Harvard research.

Shetty presents practical approaches for tackling personal transformation, including a method for breaking down fears into manageable steps and taking action despite uncertainty. He explores how helping others activates the brain's reward pathways and suggests concrete ways to incorporate service into daily life, such as weekly volunteering. The episode provides a framework for making sustainable changes by focusing on environment, skills, relationships, fears, and service to others.

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Feel Stuck, Confused, or Behind? Use THIS Blueprint and Completely Transform Your Life in ONE Year!

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Feel Stuck, Confused, or Behind? Use THIS Blueprint and Completely Transform Your Life in ONE Year!

1-Page Summary

Redesigning Your Environment and Habits For Sustainable Change

Jay Shetty emphasizes that sustainable change comes from systematically redesigning our environment rather than relying on motivation alone. According to Shetty, our environment influences 45% of our daily behaviors. He recommends dividing the year into 90-day seasons, with one season dedicated to resetting environment and habits. To establish good habits, Shetty advises making them more convenient than bad ones by optimizing spaces and minimizing friction in daily routines.

Learning Skills to Transform Your Identity and Confidence

Learning new skills can significantly impact personal growth and identity transformation. Research shows that skill development reduces anxiety and depression by up to 34%, while adults engaged in continuous learning report higher life satisfaction. Shetty explains that one skill can create ten opportunities, as demonstrated by a case where daily public speaking practice transformed a woman's career trajectory within a year.

Improving Key Relationships for Greater Fulfillment and Support

Drawing from Robert Waldinger's Harvard study, Shetty notes that relationship quality strongly predicts future wellbeing. He recommends concrete steps: repair one strained relationship, release draining connections, deepen meaningful bonds, and maintain weekly connection rituals. Shetty defines loneliness not just as being alone, but as feeling unseen and lacking safe spaces to be authentic in relationships.

Facing Your Fears Head-On to Overcome Obstacles

Shetty advocates for taking action rather than avoiding fears. He suggests creating a fear list and breaking each fear into five micro-actions, focusing on rewarding progress rather than outcomes. His key message is to act despite fear, encouraging people to "do it afraid" rather than let fears prevent growth. He emphasizes that addressing fears is crucial for achieving goals and avoiding lifetime regrets.

Using Service to Find Meaning and Purpose

Neuroscience research shows that helping others activates the brain's reward pathways, leading to increased feelings of purpose and joy. Shetty recommends practical ways to incorporate service into daily life, such as volunteering an hour weekly or using personal skills to contribute to the community. He notes that helping others can create positive ripple effects that ultimately enhance one's own well-being and provide deeper meaning in life.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While redesigning the environment can be helpful, it may not be feasible for everyone due to financial, social, or personal constraints, and other strategies might also be necessary.
  • The claim that the environment influences 45% of our daily behaviors is a specific figure that may not apply universally and could vary greatly between individuals and contexts.
  • Dividing the year into 90-day seasons may not align with everyone's personal or work life, and some may find other time management strategies more effective.
  • Making good habits more convenient assumes that individuals have control over their environment, which might not always be the case, especially in shared or restrictive living or working conditions.
  • The impact of learning new skills on personal growth and identity transformation can vary widely among individuals, and not everyone may experience the same level of benefit.
  • The statistic that skill development reduces anxiety and depression by up to 34% may not account for the complexity of mental health issues, and other interventions may be necessary for some individuals.
  • Continuous learning leading to higher life satisfaction may not be true for everyone, as some might find it stressful or overwhelming, depending on their life circumstances.
  • The idea that one skill can create ten opportunities is an oversimplification and may not reflect the reality of job markets and individual abilities or opportunities.
  • While relationship quality is important, the ability to repair or release relationships can be complicated by various factors, including cultural expectations, family dynamics, and personal circumstances.
  • The approach to facing fears by taking action may not be suitable for all types of fears or for individuals with certain anxiety disorders, where gradual exposure or professional help might be more appropriate.
  • The emphasis on service and helping others assumes that individuals have the time, resources, and emotional capacity to do so, which may not be the case for everyone.
  • The positive effects of helping others on personal well-being may not be experienced by everyone, especially if it leads to burnout or neglect of one's own needs.

Actionables

  • You can redesign your living space to promote new habits by swapping out old items with new ones that align with your goals. For instance, if you're aiming to read more, place a bookshelf with selected reads next to your favorite chair and remove the TV remote from easy reach. This makes the desired habit of reading more accessible and the less desired habit of watching TV less convenient.
  • Create a personal skill development plan by identifying a skill you want to learn and breaking it down into weekly mini-goals. If you're interested in gardening, for example, your plan might include researching plants suitable for your climate one week, preparing the soil the next, and then planting seeds. Each small step builds your competence and confidence, reducing anxiety and increasing satisfaction.
  • Establish a "Connection Hour" each week where you reach out to someone different to strengthen your social bonds. This could be a phone call, a handwritten letter, or a small act of kindness. By making this a regular part of your routine, you're actively working on improving relationship quality and combating loneliness.

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Redesigning Your Environment and Habits For Sustainable Change

Shetty advises that a systematic approach to changing one’s environment is more effective for sustainable habits than relying on motivation alone.

Motivation Alone Won't Create Lasting Change - Systems and Environments Matter

Changing Environment Can Shape Identity and Habits More Effectively Than Willpower Alone

Shetty points out that people often fail to meet their New Year's goals because they rely on hope instead of a system. He suggests that real life changes come from redesigning the system we live within. According to Shetty, the environment is responsible for 45% of our daily behaviors, and by changing this environment, we can foster more sustainable habits. He talks about helping someone who struggled with maintaining a morning routine. When they changed her physical environment, her identity aligned with this new setting, making her not just a disciplined person, but a supported one.

Simplify Routines to Create Consistency and Minimize Friction

Optimize Your Space for Good Habits

Shetty emphasizes the importance of simplifying routines to create consistency and minimize friction. He notes that having a cluttered desk, for instance, creates a more challenging environment to focus on work. To overcome such challenges, Shetty proposes dividing the year into four 90-day seasons, with one season dedicated to resetting one's environment and habits.

He ...

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Redesigning Your Environment and Habits For Sustainable Change

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Clarifications

  • Jay Shetty is a former monk turned motivational speaker and author known for his work on mindfulness and personal development. He combines ancient wisdom with modern science to offer practical advice on habits and mindset. Shetty has a large following and has collaborated with reputable organizations, enhancing his credibility. His insights are based on both personal experience and research in psychology and behavior change.
  • A "systematic approach" to habit change means creating a structured set of actions and environmental adjustments that support the desired behavior consistently. Instead of relying on willpower or motivation alone, it involves designing routines, cues, and surroundings that make the habit easier to perform automatically. A "system" refers to this organized framework of habits, triggers, and environmental factors working together to sustain change. This approach focuses on building processes that naturally lead to the desired outcome over time.
  • The idea that environment influences 45% of daily behaviors comes from research in behavioral science showing that many actions are automatic responses to surroundings. Contextual cues like location, objects, and social settings trigger habitual behaviors without conscious thought. This means changing physical or social environments can significantly alter behavior patterns. The percentage highlights the strong role of external factors compared to deliberate decisions.
  • Identity alignment means your sense of who you are changes to match your surroundings and actions. When your environment supports a habit, you start seeing yourself as the kind of person who naturally does that habit. This shift makes the behavior feel automatic and part of your identity, not just a forced effort. Over time, this internal identity reinforces the habit, making it more sustainable.
  • "Minimizing friction" means reducing obstacles or effort needed to perform a desired habit. It involves making good habits easier to start and maintain by removing physical, mental, or environmental barriers. For example, placing workout clothes where you can easily access them lowers the effort to exercise. This concept is rooted in behavioral science, which shows that simpler actions are more likely to become consistent habits.
  • Dividing the year into four 90-day seasons creates manageable time frames for focused habit change, preventing overwhelm. Each season acts as a mini-goal period, allowing for regular assessment and adjustment of habits. This cyclical approach supports sustained motivation and progress by providing clear start and end points. It also aligns with natural quarterly rhythms used in business and personal planning.
  • Redesigning morning and night routines sets the tone for the day by establishing positive momentum and reducing decision fatigue. A calm, organized morning routine can increase focus and energy, while a consistent night routine improves sleep quality and recovery. These routines create predictable cues that trigger productive habi ...

Counterarguments

  • While the environment plays a significant role in shaping habits, individual differences in personality and motivation can also significantly impact habit formation and sustainability.
  • Some individuals may thrive in less structured environments and find too much simplification or routine stifling to creativity and spontaneity.
  • The idea of dividing the year into four 90-day seasons for resetting habits may not be practical for everyone, as people have different life circumstances and may require more flexibility.
  • Overemphasis on environmental design might lead to an underestimation of the importance of intrinsic motivation and personal agency in habit change.
  • The statistic that the environment is responsible for 45% of our daily behaviors is not substantiated within the text and may vary widely depending on the individual and the specific behavior.
  • The concept of making unwanted items hard to reach may not address the underlying issues that drive undesirable habits and could be seen as a temporary fix r ...

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Learning Skills to Transform Your Identity and Confidence

Learning new skills has a transformative effect on individuals, enhancing their confidence, identity, and opening up new opportunities.

"Learning New Skills Boosts Self-Perception and Opportunities"

Learning a new skill has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression by up to 34%. Additionally, adults who engage in continuous learning report significantly higher life satisfaction. This personal growth boosts confidence as individuals immerse themselves in skill development.

"Skill Development Over Goal-Setting Enables Sustainable, Identity-Shifting Change"

One skill can create ten opportunities, indicating that skill development is a powerful tool for change. It's the growth and change in identity that act as catalysts to reaching goals, not just setting the goals themselves. One story exemplifies this, where a woman felt stuck in her job and identity and used a year to learn public speaking for 20 minutes a day. By the year's end, she was confidently leading meetings, pitching ideas, and interviewing for a promotion, thanks to the new skill profoundly changing her self-perception and career trajectory.

"Acquiring Skills to Align With Y ...

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Learning Skills to Transform Your Identity and Confidence

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • "Identity-shifting change" means altering how you see yourself at a core level. Skill development influences identity by reshaping your beliefs about your abilities and potential. As you master new skills, you adopt new roles and behaviors that redefine your self-image. This internal change supports lasting personal growth beyond temporary goal achievement.
  • "Rerouting life trajectories" means changing the usual path your life might take by developing new abilities. When you learn a skill, you open doors to different jobs, relationships, or experiences that were previously unavailable. This shift can lead to new habits, mindsets, and opportunities that reshape your future. Essentially, skill acquisition acts like a new direction on a map, altering where you end up.
  • Learning new skills engages the brain in focused activity, which can reduce rumination and negative thoughts linked to anxiety and depression. It also increases the production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, improving mood and motivation. Skill acquisition fosters a sense of achievement and control, counteracting feelings of helplessness. Additionally, learning often involves social interaction, which supports emotional well-being.
  • Goal-setting defines what you want to achieve, providing direction and motivation. Skill development focuses on building the abilities needed to reach those goals. Developing skills changes your habits and mindset, leading to deeper, lasting personal transformation. This identity shift makes achieving goals more sustainable than goal-setting alone.
  • When you learn a new skill, your brain forms new neural connections, making you feel more capable. This sense of competence reduces self-doubt and anxiety, boosting your confidence. Increased confidence encourages you to take on new challenges and social interactions, expanding your network and visibility. These expanded interactions and challenges create new opportunities in personal and professional areas.
  • Aligning skills with your "aspirational future self" means identifying the person you want to become and learning skills that support that vision. This approach helps create a clear path for personal growth by focusing on relevant abilities. It encourages intentional development rather than random learning. Over time, these skills shape your identity and open opportunities aligned with your goals.
  • Practicing public speaking daily builds communication skills and reduces fear through repetition. Small, consistent efforts create gradual improvement and reinforce confidence. Over time, this practice rewires self-perception, making one see themselves as capable and authoritative. This shift ...

Counterarguments

  • While learning new skills can reduce anxiety and depression, the 34% figure may not apply universally and could depend on the individual's context, the nature of the skill, and the severity of their mental health issues.
  • Increased life satisfaction from continuous learning might not be solely due to learning; other factors such as social interaction, physical health, and economic stability also play significant roles.
  • Boosting confidence through skill development may not be as straightforward for everyone; some individuals might experience increased pressure or stress, especially if they struggle with the learning process.
  • The claim that one skill can create ten opportunities is an oversimplification; the actual number of opportunities can vary widely based on the skill, the industry, and market demand.
  • Sustainable, identity-shifting change through skill development might not be as effective for some individuals who may have deep-rooted psychological barriers or who may not identify as strongly with their professional skills.
  • The idea that changes in identity catalyze goal achievement could be too narrow; other factors like motivation, support systems, and resources also play critical roles in achieving goals.
  • The transformation of self-perception and career trajectory through daily practice over a year is an optimistic scenario and may not account for the complexities and challenges faced by many individuals in their careers.
  • Rerouting life trajectories by al ...

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Improving Key Relationships for Greater Fulfillment and Support

Jay Shetty sheds light on the profound impact of relationships on wellbeing and provides insights into fostering better connections for a happier life.

Quality of Relationships Predicts Future Wellbeing

Repair, Deepen, and Distance Relationships to Enhance Connection and Support

According to Shetty, who refers to Robert Waldinger's Harvard study, the quality of our relationships is a strong predictor of our future wellbeing. To enhance this aspect of life, he suggests taking actionable steps: attempt to repair one significant but strained relationship, release yourself from a draining connection that is no longer beneficial, deepen the bond in one meaningful relationship to build more support, and create a weekly ritual to maintain a connection with those who matter.

Loneliness: Lacking Understanding and Safety in Relationships

Reflect On Who to Talk To More, Less, and Spend Time With to Improve Relationships

Shetty further explains loneliness as a condition characterized not merely by being alone but by a lack of understanding and safety within relationships. It's the painful ...

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Improving Key Relationships for Greater Fulfillment and Support

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While the quality of relationships may predict future wellbeing, individual resilience and personal coping strategies also play a significant role in a person's wellbeing.
  • Repairing a strained relationship can be beneficial, but it is not always possible or healthy, especially if the relationship is abusive or toxic.
  • Releasing oneself from draining relationships can be positive, but it may also lead to guilt or other negative emotions that could impact wellbeing if not managed properly.
  • Deepening bonds in meaningful relationships is generally good advice, but it assumes that both parties are willing and able to invest more in the relationship, which may not always be the case.
  • A weekly ritual to maintain connections can be helpful, but it may not suit everyone's lifestyle or preferences, and the quality of interactions can be more important than frequency.
  • Loneliness is indeed more than just being alone, but it can also be influenced by internal factors such as depression or anxiety, which might not be resolved solely through relationship impr ...

Actionables

  • You can initiate a "relationship audit" by creating a simple spreadsheet to track your interactions and feelings associated with each person in your life. In one column, list the names of people you interact with regularly. In the next columns, note down how you feel after each interaction (energized, drained, neutral) and any thoughts on the quality of the connection. Over a month, this will help you see patterns and decide where to invest more time or set boundaries.
  • Develop a "connection card" system where you write down the names of people you want to deepen relationships with on individual index cards. On each card, jot down specific actions you can take to strengthen that bond, such as scheduling regular coffee dates, sending a thoughtful message, or sharing a personal story. Shuffle through these cards weekly and choose one action to focus on, ensuring you're actively nurturing these relationship ...

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Facing Your Fears Head-On to Overcome Obstacles

Avoiding Fears Amplifies Them - Action Alleviates Anxiety

Jay Shetty advises that to overcome fears, it is crucial to take action rather than avoid the issues at hand. He suggests creating a fear list and breaking each fear into five micro-actions, thereby rewarding action rather than outcomes. Shetty firmly believes that action reduces anxiety, whereas avoidance tends to amplify the fears.

Convert Fears Into Steps and Reward Progress

Shetty emphasizes taking a structured approach to facing fears by converting them into actionable steps that can be tackled incrementally. He points out that by rewarding progress rather than outcomes, individuals can motivate themselves to continuously move forward.

Act Despite Fear

Taking action despite feeling fear is an essential theme in overcoming obstacles. Shetty posits that life is about doing things even when feelings might seem to hold you back. He encourages acting despite fears and viewing them as opportunities for growth, rather than letting these fears prevent future success or cause stagnation.

Viewing Fear as Growth, Not a Roadblock, Helps Achieve Goals

Shetty asserts that many fail to meet their goals not because the goals are incorrect, but because they haven't faced their fears. Addressing fears is vital for moving towards goals. Instead of evaluating unmet goals repeatedly, Shetty suggests, one should face their fears and take action despite their presence.

Fear should not be allowed to ruin one's future or keep individuals stuck in places they've outgro ...

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Facing Your Fears Head-On to Overcome Obstacles

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Counterarguments

  • While taking action can reduce anxiety, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution; some individuals may require professional help to manage their fears and anxiety effectively.
  • Breaking fears into micro-actions may not address the root cause of the fear, and for some, this approach might oversimplify complex emotional challenges.
  • Rewarding progress rather than outcomes can be beneficial, but it is also important to recognize that some goals do require a focus on outcomes to ensure success.
  • Acting despite fear is often recommended, but there are situations where fear serves as an important signal that should not be ignored, and caution or retreat might be the wiser course of action.
  • Viewing fear solely as an opportunity for growth can sometimes lead to the minimization of valid emotional responses and potentially put individuals at risk if the fear is based on real danger.
  • The assertion that people fail to meet their goals mainly because they avoid facing their fears may not account for other significant factors such as lack of resources, external obstacles, or changing circumstances.
  • The advice to act despite fear does not take into account that some ...

Actionables

  • Turn your daily routine into a fear-facing journey by integrating one small challenge each day that pushes you out of your comfort zone. For example, if public speaking scares you, practice by toasting at a family dinner or speaking up in a meeting at work. This gradual exposure can help reduce anxiety and build confidence in your abilities.
  • Create a "fear swap" with a friend where you both commit to tackling a fear the other person has already overcome. This could be as simple as one person afraid of cooking a complex dish while the other fears initiating conversations with strangers. By swapping challenges, you gain a support system and insight into overcoming the fear from someone who's been there. ...

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Feel Stuck, Confused, or Behind? Use THIS Blueprint and Completely Transform Your Life in ONE Year!

Using Service to Find Meaning and Purpose

Service to others isn't just a noble act; it is a meaningful pursuit that can boost one's self-esteem and offer a sense of purpose. This positive impact is backed by neuroscience and psychology, as well as by thought leaders like Jay Shetty.

Service Boosts Self-Esteem and Alleviates Depression By Activating Brain's Reward Pathways

Neuroscience research has revealed that helping others triggers the activation of the brain's reward pathways—these are the same neural circuits associated with feelings of purpose and joy. Engaging in acts of service can effectively light up areas in the brain that make us feel good.

Transform Your Life: Volunteer Your Skills For Causes You Care About

Studies have shown that individuals experiencing depression find their symptoms alleviate when they help others who are going through similar challenges. By focusing on the needs of others, people are able to gain a broader perspective, which often leads to increased self-esteem. They begin to count their blessings and recognize the invaluable skills they possess.

Jay Shetty, the well-known life coach, suggests concrete steps to make service a part of daily life. He recommends volunteering an hour per week, assisting someone quietly, or contributing to the community with one's skillset. These acts can transform our lives, providing a fulfilling avenue for channeling our abilities into causes that ...

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Using Service to Find Meaning and Purpose

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Counterarguments

  • While service to others can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of purpose, it is not the only path to finding meaning in life. Individual passions, career achievements, personal development, and creative pursuits can also be significant sources of fulfillment.
  • The relationship between service and mental health improvements, such as alleviating depression, is complex and may not apply universally. For some individuals, focusing on others' needs without addressing their own mental health issues could potentially lead to burnout or emotional fatigue.
  • The idea that helping others always activates the brain's reward pathways may be an oversimplification. The psychological response to service can vary greatly depending on the individual's circumstances, motivations, and the nature of the service.
  • Volunteering and service work can sometimes inadvertently perpetuate dependency or fail to address the root causes of societal issues, suggesting that the impact of service is not always straightforward or entirely positive.
  • The recommendation to incorporate service into daily life assumes that individuals have the time, resources, and emotional capacity to do so, which may not be the case for everyone, particularly those struggling with their own challenges.
  • The ripple effect of kindness is a positive concept, but it may not always hold true. The impact of one's ...

Actionables

  • You can create a "Kindness Calendar" where each day prompts a small, achievable act of service, like writing a supportive note to a coworker or baking for a neighbor.
    • This strategy helps integrate service into your daily routine without overwhelming your schedule. For example, Monday could be compliment day, Tuesday could be offer-to-help-with-a-task day, and so on. This way, you're consistently engaging in small acts of kindness that contribute to your sense of purpose and well-being.
  • Start a personal project called "Skill Share Sundays" where you dedicate a couple of hours each Sunday to teach someone a skill you're good at, like cooking a favorite recipe or fixing a common household issue.
    • This approach allows you to use your existing skills to benefit others, which can boost your self-esteem as you see the direct impact of your knowledge. You could offer these sessions to friends, family, or through community boards.
  • Develop a habit of "Active Listening" d ...

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