Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Tools For Navigating Grief That Will Bring You Comfort When Nothing Else Can Ft. Kate Cassidy & Taylor Hill
In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty and his guests explore the complex nature of grief and how people navigate its non-linear journey. The discussions cover how grief transforms love rather than erasing it, the role of daily rituals in providing stability during loss, and ways to maintain faith and spirituality while grieving. Their conversations also address how familiar places and holidays can intensify feelings of loss.
The episode examines different aspects of processing grief, from finding meaning in symbols and maintaining connections to departed loved ones, to the importance of allowing open emotional expression. Guests share personal experiences about various forms of loss, including the death of parents and beloved pets, while highlighting how presence and honest communication can help both the grieving and those supporting them through difficult times.
This is a preview of the Shortform summary of the Dec 24, 2025 episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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1-Page Summary
The Nature of the Grieving Process
Jay Shetty and Kate Cassidy explore the complex nature of grief, emphasizing its non-linear journey. Shetty describes grief as learning to coexist with absence, where love transforms rather than disappears. Cassidy shares her personal experience of how familiar places can intensify grief, particularly during holidays when the absence of loved ones feels more pronounced.
Finding Meaning and Connection After Loss
Cassidy discusses how maintaining daily rituals and routines provides stability during grief. She finds comfort in symbols that remind her of her late loved one, Liam, such as specific songs or angel numbers. Nicole Avant shares how a conversation with Pharrell Williams helped her celebrate her mother's legacy, while Taylor Hill emphasizes the importance of acknowledging all types of loss, regardless of others' perceptions.
Maintaining Faith and Spirituality Through Grief
Nicole Avant describes how grief has strengthened rather than diminished her faith. She views grief as proof of love and maintains her spiritual wellbeing through forgiveness and gratitude. Pharrell's perspective that "God is still the greatest" resonates with this approach, encouraging a focus on life's positive aspects even during difficult times.
Communicating About and Supporting Someone Through Grief
The importance of allowing open emotional expression during grief is highlighted by Cassidy's candid discussion of anger and longing. Taylor Hill emphasizes the value of presence over words, describing how friends supported her by simply being there without judgment. Karan Johar stresses the importance of honest communication with loved ones, sharing how open conversations with his father before his passing provided closure.
The Grief Over Losing a Pet
Taylor Hill shares her profound experience of losing her dog Tate, describing him as more than a pet—a best friend who accompanied her through formative years. The discussion emphasizes that pet loss deserves the same recognition and respect as any other form of grief. Nicole Avant reinforces this view, comparing the loss of a pet to losing any loved one and advocating for allowing adequate time and space to mourn.
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Counterarguments
- While grief can indeed transform love, some individuals may feel that their love diminishes or becomes complicated by unresolved issues or negative experiences associated with the deceased.
- The idea that maintaining daily rituals and routines provides stability during grief might not hold true for everyone; some may find that new routines or breaking from the old are more helpful in their grieving process.
- Symbols and reminders can be comforting for some, but for others, they may prolong the pain or make moving on more difficult.
- The notion that grief can strengthen faith might not resonate with everyone; some individuals may experience a crisis of faith or feel abandoned by their spiritual beliefs in the face of loss.
- While focusing on positive aspects of life can be helpful, it's also important to acknowledge that grief can sometimes lead to a realistic reassessment of life and one's values, which might not always be positive.
- The emphasis on open emotional expression is generally seen as healthy, but some cultures or individuals may find healing through private contemplation or alternative forms of expression.
- The idea that presence is more valuable than words can be true, but some grieving individuals may actually need to hear verbal expressions of support and empathy to feel understood and comforted.
- Honest communication with loved ones before death is ideal for closure, but it's not always possible, and some people may find closure through other means after a loved one has passed.
- The assertion that pet loss deserves the same recognition as the loss of a human may not be universally accepted; cultural and personal beliefs can significantly influence how pet loss is perceived and processed.
- The recommendation to allow adequate time and space to mourn can be helpful, but the amount of time and the manner in which one mourns can vary greatly, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to grieving.
Actionables
- Create a personal grief journal with prompts that encourage reflection on the transformation of love and the presence of absence, such as "How has love changed for me today?" or "What moments today reminded me of my loved one?" This can help you process your feelings and observe the non-linear journey of grief.
- Develop a playlist of songs that were meaningful to your lost loved one or that evoke memories of them, and listen to it during times when you need to feel connected or comforted. This can serve as a personal symbol and a therapeutic tool during difficult days or significant dates.
- Start a tradition of writing letters to your loved one on important anniversaries, sharing updates, expressing unresolved feelings, or simply recounting a memory. This practice can provide a sense of ongoing communication and help in celebrating their legacy.
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The Nature of the Grieving Process
The grieving process is a complex and deeply personal experience, as explored by Jay Shetty and Kate Cassidy in their discussions about the non-linear nature of grieving.
Grief Is a Non-linear Journey
Grief: Connection, Celebration, Isolation, and Absence Intensified During Holidays
Jay Shetty talks about grief as a journey that does not follow a straight path from heartbreak to healing. He describes grief as learning to coexist with the absence of a loved one and points out that love does not disappear with loss––instead, it transforms and persists within us. The holiday season can further intensify feelings of grief as it amplifies memories and accentuates the absence of loved ones, making the loss feel more immediate and substantial.
Cassidy shares her personal experience with grief, detailing the profound sense of loss upon returning to Los Angeles, a city filled with memories of Liam, the loved one she lost. The emptiness of being in a beloved place without the person who made it special resonates with the non-linear experience of grief, highlighting how holidays and familiar settings can deepen the feelings of absence.
Grief Is Carrying Forward a Lost Loved One's Love In a New Way
Grief Comes In Waves, Teaching Us to Adapt
Shetty elaborates that grief is not about overcoming the loss of someone but about discovering a new method to carry their love forward. Echoing the views of psychologists, he explains that grief often comes in waves that vary in intensity: at times they may be gentle and at times overpowering. As time passes, every wave instructs us on h ...
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The Nature of the Grieving Process
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Counterarguments
- While grief is often described as non-linear, some people may experience it in more predictable stages, which can be helpful for them to understand and anticipate their emotional responses.
- The idea that love persists and transforms might not resonate with everyone; some individuals may feel that their capacity for love diminishes with loss, at least temporarily.
- The intensification of grief during holidays and in familiar settings is not universal; some individuals may find these occasions and places comforting and a source of solace rather than intensifying their grief.
- The metaphor of grief as waves may not be suitable for everyone; some people might experience their grief as a constant presence rather than something that comes and goes.
- While the text emphasizes the uniqueness of grief, it could be argued that there are commonalities in the grieving process that can be addressed through general support strategies and int ...
Actionables
- Create a memory jar to honor the transformation of love after a loss by writing down memories or feelings associated with the loved one on pieces of paper and placing them in the jar. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by grief, pull out a note to remember and celebrate the relationship.
- Start a personal growth journal to document how grief teaches you to bear its weight over time, noting down moments of intense emotion as well as periods of calm, to track your evolving coping mechanisms and emotional resilience.
- Deve ...
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Finding Meaning and Connection After Loss
Grief is a complex and profound experience with no one-size-fits-all approach to navigating it. Cassidy, Nicole Avant, and Taylor Hill share intimate insights about maintaining connections to lost loved ones, signifying that remembering and honoring those who have passed can coexist with personal healing and growth.
Maintaining Rituals and Routines Provides Comfort and Stability
Symbols of Remembrance for Lost Loved Ones
Cassidy suggests rituals and routines, such as daily walks or listening to a favorite song, play a crucial role in coping with grief. Healing often comes from these small everyday practices rather than large, life-changing moments. She shares experiences of feeling connected to her late loved one, Liam, through symbols and signs which bring her positivity. For example, seeing angel numbers, such as 444, encounter the same unique wallpaper, or hearing a song from Liam's band play in a public venue, all contribute to a sense of his presence and guidance.
Symbols can become powerful conduits of remembrance, serving as a touchstone for the memories shared with the deceased. Cassidy finds solace in things that remind her of Liam, such as specific coffee flavors or particular songs, making her feel filled with light and love. She discusses how simple signs like the Happy Meal symbol, certain numbers, wallpaper patterns, or even a music video can evoke a sense of connection to Liam.
Hearing Others' Grief Journeys Helps the Bereaved Feel Understood and Less Alone
Sharing the journey of grief helps individuals feel understood and less isolated. Cassidy finds comfort in signs and connections that keep her close to Liam. Nicole Avant shares a transformative conversation with Pharrell Williams, who encouraged her to celebrate her mother's lega ...
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Finding Meaning and Connection After Loss
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Actionables
- Create a personalized memory map by marking locations significant to your lost loved one on a digital map platform and visit them periodically to reflect and connect with their memory. This can be places you visited together, their favorite spots, or where important life events occurred. Each location can be tagged with notes, photos, or audio clips that evoke personal memories and feelings.
- Start a legacy project that aligns with your loved one's passions or values, such as a community garden if they loved nature, or a book drive if they were an avid reader. This tangible initiative not only honors their memory but also provides a structured way to channel grief into positive action that benefits others.
- Develop a 'memory capsule' routine where you write down ...
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Maintaining Faith and Spirituality Through Grief
In the face of loss, individuals like Pharrell, Nicole Avant, and Karan Johar find ways to maintain their spirituality and faith, using grief as a point of reflection on love, resilience, and their deep connections.
Staying Grounded: Beliefs and Higher Power Over Tragedy
Pharrell expresses to Nicole that "God is still the greatest," a sentiment he holds steadfastly both in periods of joy and adversity. Nicole Avant, too, speaks candidly about her journey through grief and how it has bolstered rather than diminished her faith.
Seeing Grief As Proof of Love Fosters Resilience and Positivity
Nicole Avant believes that the universe has a predetermined path for everyone, which includes the autonomy of free will. This perception allows her to refrain from attributing blame to the creator for the actions that people choose. She discusses not wanting her heart to be hardened by tragedy and grief. Instead, she focuses on forgiveness and gratitude, which are key components in nurturing her faith and spiritual wellbeing.
Avant also remarks on the transformative advice given to her by others, such as TD Jakes, who encouraged a focus on the life lived rather than the sorrowful moments of loss. Although not fully detailed in the transcript, it seems that Karan Johar's narrative of being with his father during his illness reflects a form of personal anchor, possibly hinting at a kind of spiritual sustenance.
Furthering this theme, Nicole Avant reflects on how she doesn't condone the behavior that caused her pain but chooses to forgive. Her choice to believe in the inherent goodness of people and in life itself, while holding onto faith, has fostered a spirit of hope ...
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Maintaining Faith and Spirituality Through Grief
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Counterarguments
- While maintaining faith and spirituality can be beneficial for some, others may find that grief challenges or even diminishes their faith, leading them to question or reevaluate their beliefs.
- The idea that "God is still the greatest" may not resonate with everyone, especially those who may feel abandoned by their faith or higher power in times of tragedy.
- The concept of a predetermined path coexisting with free will can be philosophically contentious, as some argue that predestination is inherently incompatible with the autonomy of free will.
- Forgiveness and gratitude are not universally achievable or desirable responses to grief and tragedy; some individuals may find that other emotions or responses are more authentic or helpful for their healing process.
- The advice to focus on the life lived rather than the sorrowful moments of loss may not be suitable for everyone, as some people may need to fully confront and process their sorrow to heal.
- The notion that grief is a "receipt" of profound love might not be comforting to all, as some may perceive grief simply as a painful response to loss without inherent positive implications.
- The belief in the inherent goodness of people and life can be challenged by experiences or worldviews that e ...
Actionables
- Create a personal reflection journal dedicated to exploring your feelings of love and resilience during tough times. Start by writing down moments when you felt a strong connection with someone or something, and reflect on how that bond helped you through adversity. This practice can help you identify and strengthen the beliefs that sustain you during grief.
- Develop a ritual of expressing gratitude and forgiveness to navigate through grief. Each night, write down three things you're grateful for and one act of forgiveness, whether it's forgiving someone else or yourself. This habit can shift your focus from loss to appreciation and can foster a more forgiving and hopeful outlook on life.
- Engage in deep, meani ...
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Communicating About and Supporting Someone Through Grief
Cassidy, Johar, and Hill provide personal insights into the process of grieving, discussing the importance of honest expression and the need for long-term, non-judgmental support from friends and loved ones when coping with the loss of someone close.
Being Present and Allowing Expression of Emotions Without Judgment or Advice
Kate Cassidy speaks candidly about the anger stage in grief, where it's not only okay but necessary to openly express emotions like anger and disappointment. Cassidy shares a personal experience where she demanded a sign from Liam in her anger, showing her grief and longing for his presence. This highlights the value of being open to expressions of emotions during grief and how such experiences, like receiving what she felt was a sign from Liam, can bring comfort and make the bereaved feel less alone and acknowledged by their loved one after their passing.
The grieving process is intimate and can include feeling persistent thoughts of the deceased, even in seemingly unrelated situations, as described by Cassidy when she talks about loneliness and difficulty with the reality that she won’t see her loved one again.
Supporting the Bereaved Long-Term
Taylor Hill describes the support she received as simply being about presence. The people closest to her allowed her to fully feel her grief by physically being there without saying anything, letting her process her emotions without advice or platitudes. This approach offers a template for how to support someone in grief—by physically being there, listening without questions or judgment, and respecting the grieving person’s need for space. Hill emphasizes the importance of patience with grief, noting that it's a long-term process. Her friends would check in with her to see how she felt, mirroring her emotions without judgment and discussing grief and lost potential, even years after the event.
On the other hand, Pharrell had a different approach when comforting Nicole, by affirming the significance of her mother's life and encouraging her to continue living a full life. His support came without judgment or unsolicited advice.
Karan Johar's experiences with hi ...
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Communicating About and Supporting Someone Through Grief
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Actionables
- Create a "Grief Journal" to document your emotions and thoughts, providing a safe space for expression. By writing down your feelings of anger, disappointment, or memories of the deceased, you create a personal outlet that respects the grieving process. For example, dedicate a section to write letters to the deceased, expressing unresolved issues or sharing daily experiences, which can be a therapeutic exercise for healing.
- Develop a "Check-In Calendar" to remind yourself to reach out to friends or family who are grieving. Set periodic reminders on your phone or calendar to send a message or call someone who has experienced a loss. This ensures you provide long-term, consistent support. You might include prompts for yourself on what to say, like "I'm here if you want to talk" or "How are you feeling today?" to keep the communication open and supportive.
- Organize a "Memory ...
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The Grief Over Losing a Pet
The emotional toll of pet loss is profound and often misunderstood. Jay Shetty and Taylor Hill engage in a heartfelt discussion about the grief felt when a beloved pet passes away.
Losing a Beloved Pet Hits Hard
Taylor Hill shares her pain over the loss of her dog Tate, who was much more than a pet to her—he was her best friend and soulmate. Hill's candid expression of sorrow over Tate's death reveals the need for society to recognize and respect the depth of grief that comes with losing a pet.
Pets Offer Joy, Responsibility, and Support During Life Transitions
Hill vividly describes her deep bond with Tate, who was by her side during important life transitions, from the age of 18 to 27—years she considers formative. She paints a picture of uncomplicated love, akin to the innocent love one has for a newborn, that her dog provided her. This companionship, devoid of judgment, highlights the pure attachment she felt.
Validating Pet Loss, Even if Misunderstood, Is Crucial For Grieving
Despite the potential for others to minimize such a loss, the conversation between Shetty and Hill emphasizes the legitimacy and severity of mourning a pet. They discuss the unique comfort pets bring into our lives and the significance in respecting the grief that follows their passing.
Grieving a Pet's Loss Deserves Time ...
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The Grief Over Losing a Pet
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Counterarguments
- While the emotional toll of losing a pet is indeed profound for many, the depth of grief can vary greatly from person to person, and it's important to acknowledge that not everyone may experience pet loss with the same intensity.
- The comparison of pet loss to losing a best friend or soulmate may not resonate with everyone, as individuals form different types of attachments to pets and people, and the significance of these relationships can differ.
- While society's recognition and respect for pet loss is important, cultural and personal differences can affect how pet loss is perceived and handled, and these differences should be respected.
- The role of pets in providing support during life transitions is significant for many, but it's also true that not everyone relies on pets for emotional support or experiences these benefits.
- The bond with a pet being akin to the love for a newborn might not be a universal sentiment, as the nature of relationships with pets can be distinct from those with human children.
- The assertion that pets offer companionship free of judgment may not acknowledge the full complexity of human-animal relationships, which can include a range of emotions and behaviors.
- While mourning the loss of a pet is legitimate and severe for many, the grieving process is highly individual, and some may find they recover more quickly or do not experience as intense a mourning period.
- The unique comfort pets bring is subjective, and not everyone may place the same level ...
Actionables
- Create a pet memory book to honor your bond and process grief, including photos, notes, and mementos that celebrate your pet's life. This tangible tribute allows you to revisit memories when you miss your companion and can be a therapeutic way to acknowledge your loss.
- Start a virtual support group for pet loss to connect with others who understand the depth of your grief. Use social media or community forums to share stories, offer support, and validate each other's feelings, fostering a safe space for healing at your own pace.
- Develop a personal ritual to commemorate your ...
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