Judd Apatow: Fear of Rejection Holding You Back? THIS Trick Will Silence the Inner Critic & Help You Feel Confident to Create
In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, filmmaker Judd Apatow shares his journey from conducting high school radio interviews with comedians to becoming a writer and director in Hollywood. He discusses how early mentors like Gary Shandling and Jerry Seinfeld shaped his career, and explains his approach to developing comedy through experimentation, collaboration, and structured creative practices.
The conversation explores how Apatow balances creative work with personal growth, touching on his experiences with meditation and Buddhist principles. He discusses his marriage to Leslie Mann, their creative partnership, and their approach to parenting. Throughout the episode, Apatow addresses the realities of self-doubt in creative work and emphasizes the importance of finding meaning beyond external validation.
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1-Page Summary
Apatow's Early Experiences and Mentors in Comedy/Entertainment
During his high school years, Judd Apatow conducted 50 interviews with notable comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno through his school's radio station. These early interactions, along with the guidance of media program director Jack DeMacy, shaped his understanding of the comedy industry.
Gary Shandling emerged as a pivotal mentor in Apatow's career, offering him opportunities to write for the Grammys and work on "The Larry Sanders Show." Other comedians, including Martin Short and Jerry Seinfeld, contributed to Apatow's development by sharing advice and showing genuine kindness to the aspiring creator.
Apatow's Approach to Developing Comedy Ideas
Apatow views failure as an essential learning tool, using unsuccessful jokes and projects as stepping stones to improvement. He emphasizes the value of collaboration, citing his early work with Adam Sandler and the supportive environment at Universal Studios under executives like Donna Langley.
In terms of his creative process, Apatow notes that starting his directing career later in life proved beneficial, allowing him to develop a more disciplined approach. He maintains a structured writing schedule and uses test screenings to ensure his work resonates with audiences while staying true to his artistic vision.
Apatow's Take on Resilience, Spirituality, and Work Meaning
Apatow shares insights about his spiritual journey, including meaningful experiences with ayahuasca and meditation. He credits Gary Shandling for introducing him to Buddhist principles that help him view challenges as opportunities for growth.
In his work, Apatow uses comedy as a tool for self-exploration and healing, often finding humor in painful situations. His film "The King of Staten Island" represents his shift toward deeper themes like sacrifice and supporting others. Despite his success, Apatow openly discusses his ongoing battles with self-doubt and emphasizes the importance of finding joy in creative work over seeking external validation.
Relationships, Marriage, and Family in Apatow's Life and Career
Apatow's marriage to Leslie Mann represents both a personal and professional partnership, built on honest communication and creative collaboration. The couple works together on projects, with Mann providing valuable feedback and creative input.
As parents, Apatow and Mann encourage their children to pursue their passions rather than focusing solely on conventional success metrics. Their family dynamic has influenced Apatow's storytelling, while his experience with mentors like Ben Stiller, Gary Shandling, and David Milch has shaped his own approach to mentoring emerging creators in the industry.
1-Page Summary
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Clarifications
- Ayahuasca is a plant-based psychedelic brew used traditionally in spiritual ceremonies in the Amazon basin. It contains psychoactive compounds that induce altered states of consciousness. Meditation is a practice that involves focusing the mind to achieve mental clarity, emotional calmness, and a heightened sense of awareness. Both ayahuasca and meditation are tools that some individuals use for spiritual exploration, personal growth, and self-discovery.
- The Larry Sanders Show is an American television sitcom that aired on HBO from 1992 to 1998. It is set in the office and studio of a fictional late-night talk show and stars Garry Shandling, Jeffrey Tambor, and Rip Torn. The show features celebrities playing exaggerated versions of themselves and has been highly acclaimed for its influence on television comedy.
- Donna Langley is a prominent figure in the entertainment industry, known for her role as a film executive at Universal Studios. As the Chairperson of Universal Filmed Entertainment Group, Langley oversees the studio's film production and distribution. She has been instrumental in the success of various blockbuster films and has played a key role in shaping Universal Studios' creative direction. Langley's leadership and influence have made her a respected figure in Hollywood.
- Ben Stiller, Gary Shandling, and David Milch are prominent figures in the entertainment industry who have mentored Judd Apatow. They have provided guidance, advice, and support to Apatow in his career development. Each of these mentors has played a significant role in shaping Apatow's creative approach and professional growth. Their influence has helped Apatow navigate the complexities of the entertainment world and refine his skills as a filmmaker and comedian.
- Apatow's structured writing schedule involves setting aside specific blocks of time dedicated to writing, often adhering to a routine or timetable. This disciplined approach helps him stay focused and productive in generating new ideas and refining his scripts. By establishing a consistent schedule for writing, Apatow can maintain momentum and make steady progress on his projects. This method allows him to balance creativity with the necessary discipline required to meet deadlines and achieve his artistic goals.
- Test screenings in filmmaking involve showing a rough cut of a movie to a selected audience before its official release. The purpose is to gather feedback on various aspects like pacing, plot clarity, character likability, and emotional impact. Filmmakers use this feedback to make necessary adjustments to improve the film's overall quality and audience reception. Test screenings help filmmakers gauge how well their movie connects with viewers and make informed decisions to enhance its final version.
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Apatow's Early Experiences and Mentors in Comedy/Entertainment
Judd Apatow's journey in comedy and entertainment was shaped by his formative experiences in high school as well as the impact of key mentors who guided him in his early career.
Apatow's Formative Experiences Interviewing Comedians in High School
Apatow's Comedy Insights From Early Interview Exposure
While participating in a media program at his high school, Judd Apatow took advantage of the opportunity to interview comedians on the high school radio station. He managed to conduct 50 interviews with notable figures such as Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno. These early interactions educated him immensely about the world of comedy. He reflects on how being treated with respect in his early years, such as when Seinfeld took his questions seriously, greatly influenced his perspective on the industry.
Jack DeMacy, who ran the media program, played a pivotal role in encouraging Apatow to treat the radio station as a real outlet for broadcasting and honing his skills.
Impact of Mentors on Apatow's Development
Shandling's Guidance and Support For Apatow Starting Out
Judd Apatow recounts the significant impact Gary Shandling had on his career development. Shandling did not merely act as a mentor but provided him with concrete opportunities to grow. He gave Apatow a chance to write jokes for the Grammys and hired him for "The Larry Sanders Show," where he eventually co-ran the show and was even trusted to direct for the first time. Apatow shares personal anecdotes about Shandling, including how he involved him in intimate parts of the creative process such as watching auditions and reading scripts. Apatow contemplates that for Shandling, mentoring may have been akin to experimenting with fatherhood, driven by his ...
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Apatow's Early Experiences and Mentors in Comedy/Entertainment
Additional Materials
Clarifications
- Jack DeMacy was pivotal in encouraging Apatow's early broadcasting efforts in high school. Gary Shandling played a significant role in mentoring Apatow, providing him with opportunities to grow in the industry. Harold Ramis and Martin Short, among others, influenced Apatow's career with their kindness, humor, and guidance.
- Judd Apatow's career was significantly influenced by mentors like Gary Shandling, who provided him with opportunities to grow by involving him in various aspects of show business, such as writing jokes and directing. Harold Ramis and other comedians also played a role in shaping Apatow's positive outlook on the industry through their kindness and willingness to share advice and experiences. These mentors not only offered guidance but also created a supportive environment that helped Apatow navigate his early career in comedy and entertainment.
- Gary Shandling's mentoring of Judd Apatow was influenced by Shandling's own experiences with loss. Shandling, who had faced personal challenges and loss in his life, may have seen mentoring Apatow as a way to provide support he had yearned for. This connection suggests that Shandling's mentorshi ...
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Apatow's Approach to Developing Comedy Ideas
Judd Apatow shares his journey in comedy, underlining the roles of failure, collaboration, and discipline in the creative process.
Apatow's View on Failure as a Learning Experience
Failed Jokes as Opportunities to Improve and Find Success
Apatow does not see his work in terms of taking creative risks, preferring to focus on projects he believes in even if they might lead to failure. He considers every failed joke a teaching moment and uses failure as a path to success. Apatow treasures the learning that comes from each misstep, such as the handling of jokes in stand-up comedy; every laugh that he did not get taught him what not to do. He views these failures as crucial to finding his comedic voice, a process he was comfortable with, knowing it takes years. This philosophy extends to his projects, such as the early cancellation of "The Ben Stiller Show," which later won an Emmy, validating that respected peers appreciated their work despite initial low ratings.
Reflecting on his past projects that were considered failures like "Heavyweights" and "The Cable Guy," which were not well-received at the time but later gained appreciation, Apatow notes that the world takes time to reveal true success or failure and has learned to not react purely to immediate responses to his work.
Apatow's Collaborative Approach To Comedy
Value in Collaboration and Creative Community Building
Apatow discusses the importance of collaborative environments, having started his career with other comedians like Adam Sandler. The small crowds and freedom from judgment allowed them to experiment with their creativity. He stresses that finding the right people who understand your creative process is critical. He cites Universal Studios and executives like Donna Langley as examples of good collaborators who eliminate many problems.
Apatow speaks highly of the Los Angeles comedy community and the significant role that building a community of like-minded individuals plays, sometimes more essential than the work itself. The inherent confrontation in stand-up comedy, the possibility of failure, and the crucial nature of being unique in comedy are all essential parts of the challenge and value in collaboration. He emphasizes the necessity for new and wild ideas in comedy and praises the work of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay in creating a new comedic sensibility with "Anchorman."
Apatow's Openness to Feedback, Even When Challenging
Apatow learned to extract the emotional response from critiques and instead respond rationally, considering whether to agree, disagree, continue the project, or take it elsewhere. He also mentions the importance of giving time and constructive criticism when rejecting ideas pitched to him.
He recalls advice received in his career about handling network notes on TV pilots and learned that there should be a balance in respecting the opinions and egos of those trying to help, advocating for a collaborative approach to feedback.
Apatow's Evolution as a Writer and Director
Shifting From Solitary To Structured, Disciplined Writing Process
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Apatow's Approach to Developing Comedy Ideas
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Counterarguments
- While Apatow sees failure as a learning experience, some might argue that not all failures lead to constructive lessons and can sometimes be discouraging or lead to a dead end.
- Collaboration is valuable, but there's also a case for the unique clarity and vision that can come from solitary work, which might be diluted in a collaborative environment.
- Openness to feedback is generally positive, but there can be instances where too much feedback or conflicting advice can hinder a project's progress or compromise an artist's original vision.
- A structured, disciplined writing process can enhance productivity, but it might also stifle creativity for some writers who thrive under less rigid conditions.
- Balancing perspective with audience awareness is important, but overly prioritizing audience response can sometimes lead to formulaic content that lacks innovation.
- The necessity for new and wild ideas in comedy is a strong approach, but there's also a place for traditional or classic comedy that resonates with audiences due to its timeless nature.
- Reflecting on past failures can be insightful, but it can also lead to an overemphasis on past projects rather than focusing on current and future work.
- The importance of finding the right people who understand your creative process is undeniable, but it's also important to challenge oneself with diverse perspectives that might not immediately align with one's own.
- Handling network notes and advocating for a collaborative approach to feedback is a nuanced skill, but there can be situations where creative integrity might require pushing back against external input.
- Starting directing later in life can bring maturity to the role, but younger directors can bring fres ...
Actionables
- You can start a "Failure Journal" to document and analyze your setbacks, turning them into learning opportunities. Each time you encounter a failure, write it down, reflect on what went wrong, and brainstorm ways to improve. For example, if a presentation doesn't go well, note what parts seemed to disengage the audience and come up with alternative approaches for next time.
- Create a "Feedback Circle" with peers from different backgrounds to exchange constructive criticism. Meet regularly to share your work, whether it's writing, art, or any project, and provide each other with honest, supportive feedback. This could be as simple as a monthly coffee meet-up where you discuss each other's work and suggest improvements.
- Develop a "Creative Response Template" for handling cr ...
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Apatow's Take on Resilience, Spirituality, and Work Meaning
Judd Apatow shares his insights on resilience, spirituality, and finding meaning in work, reflecting on his personal experiences with meditation, self-help, and the role of humor in life's challenges.
Apatow's Exploration of Spirituality and Meditation
Apatow delves into his journey of exploring spirituality and personal growth, touching on the benefits and challenges of his meditation practice.
Apatow's Ayahuasca Experiences and Their Impact
Apatow did ayahuasca a couple of years ago and recalls it being an experience focused on trying to let go. At the end of the experience, a powerful image of Jesus on the cross symbolized being there for others, a lesson he took to heart. In the months following, he woke up with realizations about his behavior and the importance of love.
Apatow's Quest For Cultivating Presence, Mindfulness, and Equanimity
Apatow finds meditation improves his mood and presence, though he admits sometimes resisting the quiet and stillness it offers. He reflects on how returning to mindfulness after getting lost in thought parallels life's struggles and the continuous process of returning to contentment amidst difficulties. He values Gary Shandling's influence, who introduced him to Buddhist principles that consider problems as opportunities for patience or fortitude.
Apatow on Comedy's Role In Processing Life's Challenges
Apatow discusses comedy’s therapeutic potential and how it plays a part in his work.
Apatow: Comedy as a Tool For Self-Exploration and Healing
Comedy serves as a reflective tool for Apatow, allowing him to process and work through personal issues. He often writes about life's turning points, finding humor in pain and using storytelling to navigate complex emotions. For instance, a movie he wrote inspired by his mother's experience with cancer became a comedy, illustrating that even the most painful situations can have an element of humor.
Apatow's Commitment to Meaningful Work
In "The King of Staten Island," Apatow focused on the theme of sacrifice and supporting others, representing a shift to more profound subject matters. He discusses the importance of finding meaning in his work, prioritizing personal satisfaction, and making a positive impact over chasing immediate success or external validation.
Apatow's Strategy F ...
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Apatow's Take on Resilience, Spirituality, and Work Meaning
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Counterarguments
- While Apatow's ayahuasca experience was meaningful for him, it's important to note that such experiences can vary greatly from person to person, and not everyone may find them beneficial or transformative.
- Meditation, though helpful for many, isn't a one-size-fits-all solution; some individuals may not experience the same improvements in mood and presence, or may find other practices more effective.
- The idea that problems are opportunities for patience can be valid, but it's also important to recognize that some problems require active solutions rather than a passive approach of patience and fortitude.
- Comedy as a tool for processing personal issues might not resonate with everyone, as some may find that it trivializes their experiences or emotions.
- Finding humor in painful situations can be therapeutic, but there's a delicate balance to maintain so that it doesn't come across as dismissive or insensitive to the gravity of those situations.
- Prioritizing personal satisfaction in work is commendable, but it's also necessary to acknowledge that not all individuals have the privilege to choose work that is personally satisfying over work that is necessary for their survival.
- The strategy of limiting exposure to negative news to focus ...
Actionables
- You can explore emotional release through art by creating a piece that represents a personal challenge or pain point, then transforming it into something humorous or uplifting. For instance, if you're dealing with a tough work situation, draw it out as a cartoon and find the humor in the absurdity of the problem. This can help you process emotions and find new perspectives.
- Start a "Mindfulness Reset" jar where you write down simple, enjoyable activities on slips of paper, like taking a five-minute walk or sipping tea in silence. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or distracted, pull an activity from the jar to gently bring yourself back to the present moment, mirroring the practice of returning to mindfulness.
- Create a "Satisfaction Journal" where you record daily actions o ...
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Relationships, Marriage, and Family in Apatow's Life and Career
Judd Apatow opens up about his personal life and its profound impact on his career, from his marriage with Leslie Mann to his approach to parenting and the value he places on mentorship.
Apatow's Long-Lasting and Collaborative Marriage to Leslie Mann
The couple's marriage is not just a personal partnership but also a professional alliance that shapes Apatow's work and life.
How Their Partnership Enriched Their Personal and Professional Lives
Apatow explains that his marriage to Leslie Mann requires a lot of work, honesty about feelings and struggles, being there for one another, and enjoying each other's company. He emphasizes the importance of being present and centered in the relationship amidst life distractions and notes that honest communication and shared creative engagement are keys to their happiness.
Apatow on the Importance of Support, Understanding, and Shared Purpose in Marriage
Mann actively assists Apatow in his projects by watching cuts and providing notes, indicating mutual support in their creative endeavors. They creatively collaborate, with Mann bringing humor and creativity, leading to a deep work connection. Apatow mentions making a movie as a family, including his partnership with Leslie Mann and their children's involvement, demonstrating the high level of care they all had for the project.
Apatow's Parenting and Its Influence on His Work
Apatow's parenting philosophy is deeply intertwined with his professional ethos and influences the stories he tells in his films.
Apatow's Aim to Instill Purpose and Passion In His Children Over Success
Apatow discusses his approach to parenting, explaining that he and his wife were not pressure parents. They encouraged their children to chase their passions and figure out what they want to do. He emphasizes the importance of ambition and the energy to take risks and chase one's dreams over focusing solely on grades or discipline.
How Family Ties Shape Apatow's Storytelling and Vision
Apatow and Mann advised their daughters, Iris and Maude, to care about the work and be passionate, to be proud of what they're saying in it, and not to take work just for the sake of their careers. They emphasized having something to say and feeling good about expressing it. Apatow also recollects sharing media with his children, highlighting a playful family dynamic and the influence these experiences have on his creative endeavors.
Apatow's Perspective on Mentorship and Sharing Knowledge
For Apatow, mentorship is a crucial element in both receiving guidance and offering it to others in the industry.
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Relationships, Marriage, and Family in Apatow's Life and Career
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Actionables
- You can foster a collaborative environment at home by starting a family project where each member contributes their unique skills. For example, if you're into gardening and your partner enjoys woodworking, you could work together to design and create a backyard garden. This not only strengthens your bond but also allows you to appreciate each other's talents and the effort that goes into a shared goal.
- Encourage your children to pursue their interests by setting aside time each week for 'passion projects' where they can explore activities they're curious about, without the pressure of assessment. This could be anything from painting, coding a simple game, or learning a musical instrument. The key is to support their choices and provide resources or guidance when needed, helping them to develop a sense of purpose and passion in their endeavors.
- Seek out a mentorship opportunity by joining online communities or forums related to your interests, where ...
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