Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

By iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty features a conversation with content creator Nara Smith about her journey from teenage model to social media influencer. Starting her career at age 13, Smith shares her experiences signing with IMG Models in Paris, her early marriage to Lucky Blue Smith at 18, and her transition to young motherhood. She discusses how these life choices shaped her current path and content creation style.

The episode explores Smith's approach to balancing her public and private life, including her decision to combine high-fashion content with homemade cooking tutorials inspired by her German grandmother. Smith also opens up about managing online criticism of her life choices, dealing with health challenges like eczema and lupus, and maintaining authenticity while creating content that reflects her interests and values.

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

1-Page Summary

Nara's Early Career and Rise To Success

Nara began her social media journey at age 13, strategically posting photos to launch her modeling career. Using the hashtag #weloveyourjeans, she caught IMG Models' attention and was signed in Paris at 14. Her early success was bolstered by natural confidence and strong family support, with her parents actively participating in her career development, though she later developed insecurities due to the modeling industry's focus on appearance.

Her Unconventional Path to Marriage and Motherhood

After connecting through social media, Nara and Lucky Blue Smith's relationship progressed rapidly. Within two months of their first meeting in Milan, they were married, with Nara being just 18 years old. She shares that their quick progression felt natural, as they aligned on important life values from the start. Nine months into their marriage, they had their first child, with Nara embracing young motherhood despite not always planning for it. She explains her vision of raising children while young, allowing her to grow alongside them while ensuring they'd be grown by the time she turned 40.

Her Unique Approach to Lifestyle and Content Creation

Following health challenges, including severe eczema after her son's birth, Nara developed content focused on anti-inflammatory, scratch-made meals. Drawing inspiration from her German grandmother's cooking, she creates everything from specialty waffles to bread and cheese. She combines this cooking content with high-fashion elements, often cooking in designer clothes, reflecting her passion for both culinary arts and fashion. Nara maintains authenticity by openly sharing her health struggles with eczema and lupus, while carefully managing the boundary between her online presence and personal life.

Despite facing harsh criticism about her young marriage and motherhood, Nara remains committed to her authentic path. She discusses the emotional toll of online negativity, particularly during her pregnancy, but maintains her commitment to creating content on her own terms. She emphasizes that her relationship with Lucky defies traditional norms, with equal sharing of domestic responsibilities while she pursues her career. Jay Shetty commends her courage to live life according to her own preferences, as Nara continues to encourage her audience to embrace their individual paths while focusing on sustainable, passionate content creation.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Actionables

- You can use social media to align your personal interests with professional opportunities by creating content that showcases your hobbies or skills with a strategic hashtag related to your desired industry. For example, if you're into woodworking, post your projects with tags like #HandcraftedFurniture or #WoodworkDesign to attract potential collaborators or clients.

  • Develop a personal value statement to guide your decisions and relationships by reflecting on what matters most to you and writing it down. Use this statement when faced with choices to ensure they align with your core beliefs. For instance, if environmental sustainability is a key value, opt for eco-friendly products and practices in your daily life and support businesses that prioritize the environment.
  • Create a balanced narrative of your life experiences on social media by sharing both your challenges and successes, which can foster a more authentic connection with your audience. If you're starting a small business, don't just post about your triumphs; also share the hurdles you encounter and how you're working to overcome them, as this can inspire others facing similar issues.

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

Nara's Early Career and Rise To Success

Nara's Path to Digital Creator and Model

Nara started her venture into social media at just 13 years of age, lying about her age because Instagram required users to be at least 14. Her aim was to launch a career in modeling, and she posted her photos strategically to get noticed.

Leveraging Social Media

Utilizing the hashtag #weloveyourjeans from IMG Models, Nara grabbed the attention she sought. After consistently posting and trying to make it in the modeling world, the president of IMG Models noticed her and asked for digitals. With her father's assistance, she filmed a walking video on the cobblestone near their house, which impressed IMG Models enough to sign her in Paris at the tender age of 14.

Nara's Confidence and Self-Assurance as a Creator

Since the age of 14, Nara has been active on social media, sharing her outfits which showcased her early confidence in her appearance. She had an inherent belief that she looked great coupled with the advantage of her height. This confidence played a crucial role in putting herself out there and undertaking the steps necessary to initiate her modeling career. However, Nara later experienced the development of insecurities, which she links to the ...

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Nara's Early Career and Rise To Success

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Clarifications

  • Digitals in the modeling industry are basic, unretouched photographs of a model taken to showcase their natural appearance. These photos typically include headshots and full-body shots, providing agencies with a clear view of the model's features. Digitals are crucial for agencies to assess a model's look and potential suitability for various projects. They help agencies make informed decisions about representing a model to clients and booking jobs.
  • Nara's experience of developing insecurities related to the modeling industry's focus on appearance reflects the pressure models often face to maintain specific physical standards, leading to self-doubt and concerns about their looks. This empha ...

Counterarguments

  • Nara's early start on social media and lying about her age could be criticized for setting a potentially harmful precedent for other young individuals who might be encouraged to do the same without considering the risks.
  • The narrative that Nara's success is solely due to her strategic posting and use of hashtags oversimplifies the complexities and challenges of breaking into the modeling industry.
  • The story emphasizes Nara's confidence and appearance as key to her success, which could perpetuate the idea that these are the most important attributes for success in modeling, potentially overlooking other factors like professionalism, work ethic, and networking.
  • The text implies that Nara's insecurities are a direct result of the modeling industry's focus on appearance, but it doesn't acknowledge that insecurities can also stem from a variety of sources, including social media itself.
  • While family support is highlighted as a positive force in Nara's career, it's important to consider that not all aspiring models have this advantage, and the narrative might inadverten ...

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

Her Unconventional Path to Marriage and Motherhood

Nara Smith shares her unique story of a whirlwind romance that led to an early marriage and motherhood, reflecting on the untraditional path she has taken.

Nara's Romance and Marriage to Lucky Blue Smith

Nara Smith and Lucky Blue Smith's relationship began when he sent her a direct message on social media. They quickly progressed from messages to phone calls, including an extensive seven-hour conversation. Just two weeks after their first phone conversation, they met in person in Milan at a fashion show. On that same day, Lucky asked Nara to be his girlfriend and sought her father’s permission for marriage. They got engaged two days after Nara met Lucky’s parents in Los Angeles and were married within two months.

Nara discusses the rapid pace of their courtship and marriage, noting that people questioned their sanity due to how fast everything happened. However, she felt an immediate connection with Lucky, which was unlike her previous relationships. With clarity from the start, they discussed critical life topics such as kids, finances, and family values.

Nara, Confident at 18, Married Young

At just 18 years old, Nara married Lucky. Nara reflects on her decision to marry young with confidence, noting that her commitment to marriage differed from that of her peers. Unlike them, she had little interest in dating around, preferring relationships with the potential for marriage. Nara felt ready for the responsibilities of marriage, crediting her maturity and desire for starting a family as factors in her decision.

Nara's Choice to Have Children Young

Nara and Lucky both wanted a large family, and Nara had their first child nine months into their marriage. Although Nara did not always plan on being a young mother and wasn't particularly interested in kids when she was younger, her relationship with Lucky changed her perspective. She decided to have children young, envisioning her kids being grown while she's still relatively young herself, being out of the house by the time she turned 40.

Nara expresses a desire to experience life alongside ...

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Her Unconventional Path to Marriage and Motherhood

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • The speed of Nara and Lucky's courtship and marriage could be seen as impulsive, and while it worked for them, it might not be advisable for everyone as it may not allow enough time to fully understand each other's character and compatibility.
  • Marrying and having children at a young age can limit personal growth and career opportunities, which are often explored in one's early adult years.
  • The desire to have children young with the aim of being a young parent when they are grown assumes that early parenthood is the optimal choice for everyone, which may not be the case due to varying personal, professional, and financial circumstances.
  • While Nara and Lucky's decision to not give their children smartphones aims to protect them from the digital world, it could also potentially hinder their ability to navigate and understand the digital age, which is an essential skill in modern society.
  • The belief that a smaller age gap between parents and children inherently leads to closer relationships may not account for individual differences in parenting styles and children's personalities, which can also significantly influence the parent-child relatio ...

Actionables

  • You can initiate meaningful relationships by reaching out to someone you admire through social media with a thoughtful message that goes beyond a simple greeting. Explain why you're interested in connecting and propose a topic for a deeper conversation to create a foundation for a potential friendship or partnership.
  • Create a "life topics" deck of cards with questions about key life decisions such as family, career, and values to facilitate deep discussions with someone you're dating or considering as a life partner. Use these cards on dates or during long conversations to explore compatibility and shared visions for the future.
  • Develop a family vision s ...

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

Her Unique Approach to Lifestyle and Content Creation

Nara's distinctive approach to lifestyle content creation reflects her passions, personal challenges, and a commitment to authenticity. While embracing her love for cooking and fashion, she also shares her vulnerabilities, including her struggles with health issues, to inspire and connect with her audience.

Nara's Passion For Cooking and Homemade, Scratch-Made Meals

Nara's Health Struggles Led Her to Explore Anti-Inflammatory Diets and Homemade Foods, Becoming Core Online Content

Nara Smith turned her health challenges into an opportunity to engage her audience with anti-inflammatory, homemade meals. After her son's birth, Nara’s severe eczema prompted her to examine the impact of food on the body. This led to an anti-inflammatory diet and scratch-made meals, which quickly became central to her content. Unable to find many suitable products on shelves, she started making her own food from scratch, ranging from waffles with alternative ingredients like cassava flour and coconut milk, to bread and cheese. Nara's venture into making her own food was inspired by her German grandmother and became a cost-effective way of knowing what goes into her food.

Nara Cherishes the Creative, Cost-Effective Cooking of Her German Heritage and Grandmother

Nara reflects fondly on her upbringing in Germany, where her food was always fresh and homemade—a stark contrast to the commonality of processed foods in America. She values the cooking lessons and the creative, cost-effective strategies learned from her grandmother. Making foods that remind her of her grandmother's cooking is both a cherished activity and a meaningful aspect of her lifestyle content.

Nara's Curated Aesthetic and Fashion Content

Nara Smith weaves fashion with her cooking content, creating an intriguing blend that marks her unique brand identity. A self-professed "fashion girl at heart," she enjoys dressing up in stylish, often high-fashion outfits for her cooking videos, such as a brand-new Prada dress. She believes that her clothing choices, although not always premeditated, are expressions of her mood and personality. She values looking good not just for aesthetics but also for how it influences her producti ...

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Her Unique Approach to Lifestyle and Content Creation

Additional Materials

Clarifications

  • Anti-inflammatory diets focus on reducing inflammation in the body, which is linked to various health issues. These diets typically include foods rich in antioxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, and fiber while limiting processed foods, sugar, and saturated fats. By promoting a balanced intake of nutrients that help combat inflammation, such diets may potentially improve overall health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases. Incorporating anti-inflammatory foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fatty fish can support the body's natural defense mechanisms and contribute to a healthier lifestyle.
  • Scratch-made meals are dishes prepared entirely from basic ingredients, without the use of pre-made or processed components. They are significant as they allow for full control over the quality and nutritional value of the food being consumed. Making meals from scratch can also be a way to personalize recipes, adapt them to dietary needs, and connect with culinary traditions. This approach often involves more time and effort but can result in fresher, healthier, and more flavorful dishes.
  • Nara's German heritage influences her cooking style by emphasizing fresh, homemade meals over processed foods commonly found in America. She learned cost-effective and creative cooking strategies from her grandmother, shaping her approach to food. This heritage inspires Nara to create dishes that reflect her upbringing and the flavors of her childhood. Cooking foods reminiscent of her grandmother's recipes holds sentimental value and adds a personal touch to her content.
  • Nara's use of two separate phones for managing content and interactions is a strategy to maintain a clear boundary between her personal and professional life on social media. One phone is dedicated ...

Counterarguments

  • While Nara's commitment to authenticity is commendable, it can be argued that the very act of curating content for an audience may involve some level of performance or selectivity that detracts from complete authenticity.
  • The emphasis on homemade and anti-inflammatory diets could inadvertently pressure individuals who lack the time, resources, or skill to prepare such meals, potentially leading to feelings of inadequacy.
  • Nara's blending of high fashion with cooking content, while unique, might not resonate with all audiences, particularly those who view cooking as a more practical activity rather than an opportunity for fashion expression.
  • The focus on stylish outfits and the association of appearance with productivity could perpetuate the idea that one must look a certain way to be successful or feel good, which could be challenging for individuals struggling with body image or financial constraints.
  • Discussing personal health struggles online is brave, but it also opens the door to potential privacy concerns and might set expectations for other content creators to sh ...

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Nara Smith: ‘The Comments and the Hate Got to Me. I Was Crying Every Single Day.’ The REAL Story Behind Her Viral Persona, Online Criticism & Discovering Her Self-Worth

Navigating Criticism and Maintaining Authenticity Online

Nara Smith discusses her experience with harsh online criticism and her commitment to authenticity, sharing the mental health challenges she faced and how she copes by focusing on support rather than negativity.

Nara's Experience With Harsh Online Criticism and Judgement

Nara Smith, labeled as "controversial" in the online space, talks about the negative projection and drama often sent her way on social media. Initially, the criticism deeply affected her, leading to private tears and discussions with her partner, Lucky, about the falsehoods spread about her. Nara feels that efforts to correct misconceptions fall on deaf ears, as commenters accuse her of lying or gaslighting when she attempts to clarify matters subtly through her social outlets.

While she tries to concentrate on positive feedback, she admits that the hate comments negatively impact her, sometimes pushing her to withdraw from social platforms altogether. Nara reassures her audience that she's not imposing her content on anyone and that followers are free to draw their own conclusions from what she shares.

Negative Comments on Marriage and Motherhood Hurt Nara, Leading To Mental Health Struggles

Nara Smith candidly speaks about the toll that online negativity has taken on her well-being, especially when it comes to her role as a wife and mother. Comments criticizing her for marrying and having children young led to days where she felt so overwhelmed that she didn't want to engage with the world. The judgments and expectations projected onto her created a significant emotional burden. During the later stages of pregnancy, the negative feedback contributed to frequent episodes of crying and a desire to isolate herself.

Nara communicates her frustration with being misunderstood as more than just a conventional wife. Despite her active professional life and equal division of household duties with Lucky, she finds that people still misinterpret her choices as signs of being confined to traditional roles.

Nara's Commitment To Creating On Her Terms

Nara defies societal norms and expectations openly, stating that, apart from her decision to marry and have children at a young age, her relationship with Lucky is anything but traditional. The couple shares chores equally, with Lucky actively participating in domestic tasks like washing ...

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Navigating Criticism and Maintaining Authenticity Online

Additional Materials

Actionables

  • Create a personal manifesto to clarify your values and intentions, which can serve as a guide when facing criticism or making decisions that go against the grain. Write down what authenticity means to you, the principles you live by, and how you define success. Refer to this manifesto whenever you feel swayed by others' opinions or when you need to reaffirm your commitment to your unique path.
  • Develop a support network of like-minded individuals who respect and encourage individuality. Start by joining online forums or local groups that share your interests or values. Engage in conversations, offer support, and seek advice from those who also prioritize authenticity over popularity. This network can provide a buffer against negativity and a source of positive reinforcement when you make unconventional choices.
  • Practice selective sharing on social media to maintain your mental well-being. Before posting, ask yourse ...

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