Podcasts > On Purpose with Jay Shetty > Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

By iHeartPodcasts

In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty shares his path from speaking to nearly empty rooms to his current role as a thought leader, highlighting how he maintained focus on creating meaningful content despite humble beginnings. Drawing from his time as a monk, Shetty explains how purpose develops through the combination of all life experiences, including seemingly unrelated jobs, and how passion becomes purpose when directed toward helping others.

The episode covers the impact of solitude and routine on personal development, explaining how focused self-examination leads to deeper insights about personal values. Shetty also addresses modern dating challenges, discussing how an abundance of choices affects relationship dynamics and presenting a values-based approach to finding compatibility. He describes his work with Match.com to develop a matching system based on these principles.

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

1-Page Summary

Jay Shetty's Journey and Career Evolution

Jay Shetty shares his journey from speaking to nearly empty rooms to becoming a renowned thought leader. He describes spending almost a decade addressing tiny audiences, sometimes as few as three people, before achieving widespread recognition. Despite humble beginnings with basic equipment and no team, Shetty persevered, focusing on creating content that would genuinely move people rather than worrying about appearances.

Finding Purpose and Passion

Drawing from his experience as a monk, Shetty explains how purpose emerges when passion is directed toward helping others. He emphasizes that purpose isn't found in a single job or experience but develops through the combination of all life experiences. According to Shetty, even seemingly unrelated jobs, from delivering newspapers to working in grocery stores, contribute to living out one's purpose.

The Role of Solitude, Routine, and Self-Reflection

Shetty discusses how his monastic life taught him the value of mindfulness and intentional living. He explains that true solitude isn't about idleness but focused self-examination, leading to deeper insights about personal values and purpose. Drawing from his monastery experience, Shetty describes the power of strict routines, including 4 a.m. wake-ups and extended meditation sessions, in developing self-awareness and maintaining mental balance.

Relationships and Dating In the Modern World

Challenging common beliefs, Shetty argues against the notion that romantic love is superior to other forms of connection. He points out how modern dating's abundance of choices often leads people to mistake inconsistency for excitement and stability for boredom. To address this, Shetty advocates for a values-based approach to dating, emphasizing the importance of understanding potential partners' true character and beliefs beyond their online personas. He discusses his collaboration with Match.com to develop a values-based matching system, aiming to help users find deeper compatibility.

1-Page Summary

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While perseverance is important, not everyone may have the resources or circumstances to continue their efforts as long as Shetty did before achieving success.
  • The idea that purpose emerges from passion directed towards helping others might be too narrow, as some individuals find purpose in personal achievements or exploration.
  • The notion that all life experiences contribute to one's purpose may not resonate with everyone, especially those who feel that certain jobs or experiences were missteps or unrelated to their ultimate goals.
  • Solitude and self-reflection are valuable, but some people may find insights and purpose through social interactions and external experiences rather than through solitude.
  • Strict routines and early wake-ups may contribute to self-awareness for some, but others may find flexibility and spontaneity more beneficial for their mental balance and self-discovery.
  • The challenge to the belief that romantic love is superior may not acknowledge the deep cultural, biological, and personal reasons why many people prioritize romantic relationships.
  • A values-based approach to dating might overlook the complexity of human relationships and the fact that compatibility can also come from complementary differences, not just shared values.
  • The effectiveness of a values-based matching system, like the one Shetty developed with Match.com, could be questioned, as the nuances of human connection might not be fully captured by such a system.

Actionables

  • Start a "Life Experience Journal" to track and reflect on how daily activities contribute to your purpose. Use a simple notebook or digital document to jot down experiences from all areas of your life, including work, hobbies, and social interactions. At the end of each week, review your entries to identify patterns and insights that reveal how these experiences are shaping your purpose.
  • Create a "Values Inventory" for personal relationships by listing your core values and designing questions around them to explore in conversations with friends, family, or potential partners. For example, if one of your values is kindness, you might ask, "Can you tell me about a time you helped someone in need?" Use these discussions to deepen connections and understand the values alignment with the people in your life.
  • Implement a "Solitude Hour" into your weekly routine, dedicating this time to disconnect from all distractions and engage in self-reflection. Choose a comfortable and quiet space, and use this hour to ponder your personal values, write down your thoughts, and consider how your actions align with your sense of purpose. This practice can lead to greater self-awareness and clarity about your life direction.

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

Jay Shetty's Journey and Career Evolution

Jay Shetty’s career evolution from speaking in nearly empty rooms to gaining a massive following demonstrates the power of resilience and the impact of consistent effort over a decade.

Shetty Describes His Humble Beginnings As a Speaker in Small Rooms With Few Attendees and how He Built a Large Following Over a Decade of Consistent Effort

Jay Shetty recounts starting his speaking career in small rooms, often addressing groups as small as three to ten people. He maintained this approach for nearly a decade before posting his first video. Shetty recalls instances where no one attended his talks, forcing him to practice his speeches to the four walls of an empty room. Despite these challenges, he embraced each speaking opportunity with gratitude.

After years of perseverance, Shetty experienced a surge in popularity with his first video. Initially without a team or high-end equipment, he shot the video using simple tools, such as a boom mic stuffed in a backpack, while a friend filmed him. Shetty's goal has always been to make people feel something through his content.

Shetty Advises Starting From Zero and Ignoring Others' Opinions in Career-Building

Shetty emphasizes that everyone starts from nothing and advises not to fear beginning from the bottom. He says that what often frightens people is not starting anew but being seen by friends starting anew. He urges individuals to ignore others' judgements and focus on their passions and aspirations. Shetty also rallied against fixating on appearances in his early videos; his intent was to connect with audiences authentically.

He also speaks to the value of collecting experiences, skills, and relationships from various job opportunities, sharing how he learned from every job he had, including delivering newspapers and working at a grocery store. He posits that every action contributes to living out one's purpose, not just the pursuit of an ideal job.

Shetty on ...

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Jay Shetty's Journey and Career Evolution

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Shetty's advice to start from zero and ignore others' opinions is empowering, it may not acknowledge the full spectrum of challenges that individuals from different backgrounds face, such as financial constraints or lack of support systems.
  • The narrative of persistence leading to success is inspiring, but it might oversimplify the complexities of achieving success and not account for factors like luck, timing, or privilege.
  • Shetty's emphasis on collecting experiences from various job opportunities is valuable, but it may not address the economic realities and job market conditions that can limit the ability to explore diverse career paths.
  • The lessons from Shetty's time as a monk might not resonate with everyone, as the monastic lifestyle is a unique experience that may not be applicable or desirable to all individuals in their search for contentment and purpose.
  • The idea that every action c ...

Actionables

  • You can start small by practicing public speaking at local community events to build confidence and experience. Begin by reaching out to community centers, libraries, or local clubs to offer short talks on topics you're passionate about. This will help you get comfortable with public speaking and learn how to connect with an audience on a small scale.
  • Develop a daily routine that includes self-improvement activities like reading, meditation, or journaling. Set aside a specific time each morning or evening for these practices. For example, you might wake up 30 minutes earlier to meditate or spend 15 minutes before bed reflecting on what you learned that day.
  • Create a simple video or blo ...

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

Finding Purpose and Passion

Jay Shetty, a former monk turned thought leader and author, shares his insights about finding purpose and passion in life, emphasizing how one's talents can be used to serve others and how personal experiences shape our purpose.

Shetty On Passion, Enjoyment, and Purpose: Using Talents to Serve Others

Shetty speaks about his attraction to the monastic life, representing mental stability, resilience, peace, and service to others, which contributed to his pursuit and definition of purpose. He shares how he began distributing the monks' wisdom because it made a positive impact on him, believing it could similarly help others.

Shetty Found Purpose Through His Impact, Driving His Commitment to Share His Message Despite Early Struggles

He narrates that passion transforms into purpose when it's utilized to enhance the lives of others, likening it to baking for the homeless or using photography to show the world to those unable to travel. Shetty finds it crucial to focus on the influence one can have on an individual before attempting to reach millions, noting that even a single person's feedback can greatly improve a product or service.

Shetty Advocates Open-Mindedness and Exploring New Experiences to Find Your True Purpose, Even if It Means Leaving Your Comfort Zone

Shetty's journey through life—from his experience as a monk and his time in the corporate world—furnished him with a diverse set of skills that now enable him to live his purpose. He believes one's purpose is derived from an amalgamation of all past experiences, rather than a single job or experience.

Shet ...

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Finding Purpose and Passion

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Shetty emphasizes using talents to serve others, some might argue that self-fulfillment and personal happiness can also be valid ends in themselves, without necessarily serving others directly.
  • The idea that passion transforms into purpose when it benefits others might be too narrow, as some passions may lead to personal purpose without a clear service component.
  • Focusing on impacting individuals before reaching a larger audience could be seen as limiting, especially in a digital age where scalability and reaching a broad audience can be crucial for making a significant impact.
  • Suggesting that one's purpose is a result of all past experiences might overlook the role of future aspirations and goals in shaping one's purpose.
  • The encouragement to be open-minded and explore new experiences may not acknowledge the value of specialization and deep expertise in a particular area.
  • Treating life as a series of experiments could be criticized for potentially leading to a lack ...

Actionables

  • You can identify your unique talents by creating a 'Talent Journal' where you jot down moments you feel most engaged and fulfilled each day. Over time, patterns will emerge, highlighting activities that combine your skills and passions, which can be directed towards helping others.
  • Start a 'One-on-One Impact Challenge' by committing to positively impact one person's life each week through small, personalized actions based on your talents and passions. This could be as simple as tutoring a neighbor in a subject you excel at or helping a colleague streamline their workflow with your organizational skills.
  • Develop a 'Purpose Portf ...

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

The Role of Solitude, Routine, and Self-Reflection

Jay Shetty brings insights from his monastic life to the broader public, emphasizing how intentional living and self-examination are essential for personal growth and self-awareness.

Shetty on Monastic Life's Role In Cultivating Presence and Self-Awareness

Shetty Stresses That Solitude Means Focused Self-Examination, Not Idleness, Unlocking Deeper Insights About Values and Purpose

Shetty notes that his time in monastic life taught him the importance of mindfulness, which involves being intentional in all aspects—appearance, thoughts, presence, and kindness. Solitude, in particular, plays a crucial role in focused self-examination rather than idleness, unlocking deeper insights about one's values and purpose. He describes the energy in spaces where monks have meditated for years, similar to that in sports stadiums where unforgettable matches have played, as palpable and influential.

Shetty acknowledges the difficulties he faced in monastic life, including vulnerability and weakness, but also reflects on how the mindset and solidarity of the monks facilitated the practice of self-discipline. He remarks that the human mind requires positive engagement or a superior alternative to let go of difficult habits or addictions. Drawing on a metaphor, Shetty compares trading an older beloved car for a better model to illustrate how enlightenment, mindfulness, and mental mastery make it easier to resist distractions and overcome addictions.

Shetty Emphasizes Healthy Routines and Rituals for Mental and Emotional Balance

Shetty Shares Personal Mantras and Principles For Staying Grounded and Motivated

Shetty describes the strict routine of waking up at 4 a.m., meditating for up to eight hours per day, and sleeping on the floor or a thin mat, as part of the daily commitment in monastic life. This lifestyle of possessing very little and eating communally without choice aims to diminish individualism and encourage communal living. Participants sleep in communal spaces and dedicate themselves to living minimally, focusing on self-examination and the development of self-awareness.

He emphasizes that the value of solitude comes from pointed focus and reflection, allowing individuals to uncover their values and concerns about family and personal life. Shetty promotes the idea that people have the answers within themselves and that solitude helps to hear one's inner voice amid t ...

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The Role of Solitude, Routine, and Self-Reflection

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • Solitude might not be universally beneficial; some individuals may find it isolating or stressful, and it may not lead to self-examination for everyone.
  • Mindfulness and intentional living can be practiced in various ways, not exclusively through monastic traditions or routines.
  • The palpable energy described in meditation spaces could be a subjective experience and may not be felt by everyone.
  • The monastic lifestyle's emphasis on vulnerability and weakness may not resonate with everyone's experience or be applicable in all contexts.
  • The idea that positive engagement or superior alternatives can help overcome habits or addictions may oversimplify the complex nature of addiction recovery.
  • Enlightenment and mental mastery are not easily defined and may not be the only ways to resist distractions or overcome addictions.
  • The strict routines of monastic life, such as waking up at 4 a.m., may not be practical or beneficial for everyone, especially considering different circadian rhythms and personal commitments.
  • The notion that solitude allows individuals to uncover their values and concerns may not hold true for people who find social interaction to be a key part of their self-discovery process.
  • The belief that people have all the answers within themselves may not acknowledge the value of external guidance, education, and the perspectives of others in personal growth.
  • The concept of "beast ...

Actionables

  • You can create a "solitude schedule" by blocking out a specific time each week for self-reflection away from distractions. Choose a quiet space in your home or a serene outdoor location where you can sit undisturbed, and use this time to journal your thoughts, reflect on your values, and set intentions for the week ahead.
  • Develop a "mindfulness trigger" by associating everyday actions with moments of mindfulness. For instance, every time you open a door, take a deep breath and bring your attention to the present moment, focusing on your senses and surroundings. This can help integrate mindfulness into your daily routine without the need for extensive training or practice.
  • Craft a personal mantra or ...

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Feel Stuck in the Wrong Job? This ONE Mindset Shift Will Help You FINALLY Discover Your Purpose (Even If You’re Starting From Zero)

Relationships and Dating In the Modern World

Shetty Critiques the Misconception That Romantic Love Is Paramount, Urging Equal Value For all Meaningful Connections

Jay Shetty challenges the common belief that romantic love is the highest form of love, which he suggests can lead people to undervalue other types of relationships, such as those with family and friends. Shetty speaks against societal perceptions that equate being in a romantic relationship with completeness, arguing that being alone should not be seen as being incomplete or less than. He touches on the misconception in many spiritual traditions that romantic love is the highest form of love, arguing for the equal value of all meaningful connections.

Shetty: Modern Dating's Excess Choices Favor Excitement Over Stability

Shetty discusses how modern dating confuses inconsistency for excitement and stability for boredom, leading many to chase partners who provide an element of uncertainty rather than those who display steady, consistent affection. He points out the paradox of choice in dating, where having more options leads to frustration and poor decision-making, unlike the past when choices were limited and relationships were vetted by nearby communities.

Shetty Advocates for a Values-Based, Intentional Dating Approach, Prioritizing Clarity on Relationship Fulfillment

Jay Shetty promotes a discerning approach to dating that focuses on values and long-term vision. He argues that the excess of superficial choices in modern dating detracts from forming deeper, more meaningful relationships. Shetty emphasizes the importance of nurturing a variety of emotional skills and habits like personal mastery, self-control, compassion, and empathy to maintain a relationship, rather than focusing sole ...

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Relationships and Dating In the Modern World

Additional Materials

Counterarguments

  • While Shetty argues that romantic love should not be seen as paramount, some might counter that romantic love has unique aspects that are inherently valuable and distinct from other forms of love, such as the combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment described in Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.
  • In response to the idea that being alone should not equate to being incomplete, some might argue that human beings are inherently social creatures and that romantic partnerships can offer a level of companionship and support that is deeply fulfilling for many individuals.
  • Regarding the critique of modern dating's preference for excitement over stability, one could argue that excitement and novelty are important components of a healthy romantic relationship and that stability does not necessarily preclude excitement.
  • On the paradox of choice, some might argue that having more options allows individuals to better understand what they are looking for in a partner and to make a more informed choice, rather than settling due to limited options.
  • While Shetty promotes a values-based approach to dating, others might argue that attraction and love can be unpredictable and that sometimes people with differing values can still form successful, fulfilling relationships.
  • Concerning the emphasis on emotional skills, some might argue that love and passion are also critical components of a relationship and that focusing too much on skills like self-control could lead to overly pragmatic and less passionate relationships.
  • In relation to technology's impact on dating, it could be argued that technology has fa ...

Actionables

  • You can expand your understanding of love by journaling about different types of connections you value, such as friendships, family bonds, and community ties, to recognize their unique importance in your life. Reflect on specific moments where these connections provided support, growth, or joy, and consider ways to strengthen them, like scheduling regular catch-ups or expressing gratitude more often.
  • Create a personal fulfillment plan by listing the qualities and values you seek in a relationship, then set monthly goals to cultivate these within yourself. For example, if you value compassion, volunteer at a local charity, or if you seek intellectual stimulation, join a book club. This approach helps you become more intentional in your personal development and aligns you with potential partners who share your values.
  • To countera ...

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