Book SummaryYou Only Die Once, by Jodi Wellman

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of You Only Die Once

In You Only Die Once, Jodi Wellman argues that the concept of memento mori—the intentional acknowledgment of our mortality—is the key to leading a better life. Wellman says that contemplating death and reflecting on the finite nature of our existence can inspire us to live more intentional and fulfilling lives, balancing vitality and meaning.

Wellman is a speaker, author, and facilitator specializing in helping people lead meaningful lives. She is the founder of Four Thousand Mondays, a platform dedicated to encouraging people to make the most of their time. Wellman holds a master’s...

You Only Die Once Summary Why Contemplating Death Makes You More Alive

According to Wellman, we tend to avoid thinking about death. She argues this avoidance is often rooted in the fear and discomfort of confronting the finite nature of our existence. Many people, she explains, prefer to focus on day-to-day activities and immediate concerns, pushing thoughts of death to the back of their minds, not wanting to disrupt their sense of normalcy or face the overwhelming fear of the unknown.

(Shortform note: While death is often seen as a taboo topic in Western culture, many cultures and spiritual traditions actively embrace death as a natural part of the human experience. For example, Día de los Muertos, a Mexican holiday, celebrates deceased loved ones and acknowledges death as an honored part of life’s cycle. Similarly, in the Buddhist tradition, the practice of maranasati meditation involves reflecting on the impermanence of life and the certainty of death, helping individuals cultivate mindfulness and acceptance of their mortality.)

However, Wellman argues,...

You Only Die Once Summary What Makes a Good Life

Now that you’ve confronted your inevitable death, let’s discuss what makes a good life.

Wellman argues that people who lead good lives experience both vitality and meaning. She defines vitality as the feeling of being alive and energized, most often experienced when you do things that spark joy, excitement, and curiosity. Meaning, on the other hand, is the sense of purpose you get from participating in activities or relationships that matter to you and align with your core values. The combination of vitality and meaning, Wellman explains, creates a balanced and fulfilling life that is both rich in experiences and deeply purposeful.

(Shortform note: While other researchers in positive psychology agree that vitality and meaning are essential to a good life, they offer broader perspectives on both elements. Richard Ryan and Edward Deci's Self-Determination Theory frames vitality not as momentary joy or excitement, but as [the energy that flows from living authentically and meeting our basic psychological...

You Only Die Once Summary How to Start Living Like You’re Dying

Depending on where you plotted yourself on the Life Quality Quadrant, you may feel like your life is missing some vitality, and you could use a little more joie de vivre, or that your life lacks meaning, and you’re looking for some greater purpose in how you spend your time.

In the next section, we’ll first discuss Wellman’s suggestions for how to add vitality to your life.

Increase Vitality

A reminder that Wellman defines vitality as a positive sense of aliveness and energy that fuels your zest for life, enabling you to fully engage with the world and live a life filled with joy, excitement, and novelty.

Break Habits That Dull Vitality

Wellman argues that habits can undermine vitality by keeping us on autopilot. While they provide structure and comfort, habits can dull life’s vibrancy, leading to boredom and a lack of fulfillment. To combat this, Wellman advises reassessing and adjusting habits that don’t benefit you, highlighting excessive social media and screen time as major culprits.

(Shortform note: While Wellman raises valid concerns about habits potentially dulling life’s vibrancy, James Clear, author of *[Atomic...

Shortform Exercise: Contemplate Your Inevitable Death

According to Wellman, reflecting on your mortality can encourage you to live a more fulfilling life. She argues memento mori can lead us to make the most of the time we have and make more considered decisions.

When was the last time you thought of your own death? How frequently does the topic of death come to mind?

Shortform Exercise: Increase Vitality and Meaning in Your Life

According to Wellman, many of us journey through life without truly feeling alive—lacking vitality, meaning, or both. She advises first assessing your life before making any significant changes.

Consider how you feel about your life on a 1-10 scale from despondent to thriving. Based on this self-assessment, which category do you fall into: “suffering,” “struggling,” or “thriving”?