Book SummaryWhat Doesn't Kill You, by Tessa Miller

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of What Doesn't Kill You

The Effects of Living With Long-Term Health Conditions

Chronic Illness Impacts the Body, Mind, and Well-Being Holistically

This section delves into the multi-faceted ways lifelong illness alters your life, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Miller highlights how these three aspects are intertwined, impacting each other in a continuous loop, and how ignoring one may exacerbate the others. The author shares her personal struggles with Crohn's, illustrating the often invisible yet debilitating impact on daily functioning, compounded by the emotional rollercoaster of grappling with incurable illness. Lastly, this section underscores the crucial process of mourning and adjusting to a new self, one defined by enduring illness, while acknowledging the challenges of navigating complex emotions and societal expectations.

Author Shares Experience With Crohn's Symptoms and Health Impact

Miller vividly details her own experience with Crohn's, laying bare the pain, discomfort, and disruptions it causes. She recounts gut-wrenching episodes of bleeding, violent diarrhea, and constant urgency, painting a picture of the everyday struggles many Crohn's sufferers face. Beyond these physical symptoms, Miller highlights the insidious nature of Crohn's, describing its impact on her energy levels, relationships, work, and mental well-being. She underscores that Crohn's and additional persistent conditions aren't isolated events, they're ongoing battles impacting every aspect of a person's life. She goes into detail about the discomfort and dehumanization of repeated hospitalizations, invasive medical interventions, and the constant monitoring of bodily functions, drawing attention to the emotional toll of these experiences.

The author also provides a detailed breakdown of the disease, explaining how Crohn's and other forms of IBD involve the immune system attacking the digestive system, leading to inflammation and ulceration across the gastrointestinal tract. Not only does this create excruciating pain and digestive distress, but it can lead to complications such as malnutrition, anemia, fistulas, bowel perforations, and even a heightened likelihood of cancers affecting the digestive system. Miller even discusses how the medications used to manage Crohn's, while necessary for controlling the disease, come with their own significant side effects, further emphasizing the complex web of challenges chronically ill patients must navigate.

Practical Tips

• Experiment with an elimination diet under professional guidance. Gradually remove common inflammatory or trigger foods from your diet for a set period, then reintroduce them one at a time while monitoring symptoms. This can help pinpoint specific dietary causes of discomfort. Always consult with a dietitian or doctor before starting to ensure nutritional needs are met.
• Develop a communication plan for your close relationships. Set aside time each week to discuss how you're feeling and what support you might need with your friends and family. This could be as simple as a weekly coffee date where you check in with each other, ensuring that your relationships remain strong despite any challenges.
• Develop a personalized "Crohn's-friendly recipe collection" by experimenting with ingredients that don't aggravate your symptoms. Start by swapping out common irritants with alternatives and note the outcomes. For instance, if dairy is a problem, try lactose-free or plant-based alternatives and create recipes around these ingredients. Share your successful recipes with others in the Crohn's community to exchange ideas and support.
• Experiment with mindfulness meditation to potentially reduce stress-related inflammation. Set aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness, focusing on your breath and the present moment. This can help calm your mind, which may have a positive effect on your immune system's activity.
• Engage in regular, low-impact exercise routines to improve overall health and potentially reduce the risk of cancer. Activities like walking, swimming, or yoga can be beneficial. You don't need to become a fitness guru; even a daily 30-minute walk can make a difference. This habit can also help manage stress, which is important for those with chronic health conditions.

Chronic Conditions Can Cause Psychological Issues That Worsen Symptoms and Complicate Treatment

Miller powerfully demonstrates how living with long-term disease isn't just a physical battle. She openly shares her struggles with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, triggered both by the disease and by the trauma of navigating the healthcare system. The author emphasizes how these mental health challenges are often intertwined with the physiological effects, creating a vicious...

What Doesn't Kill You Summary Navigating the Healthcare System and Practical/Financial Challenges

This section delves into the systemic shortcomings of the US healthcare system, revealing how it often exacerbates the struggles of chronically ill patients rather than providing accessible, affordable care. Miller underscores the financial devastation faced by numerous individuals with long-term illnesses, compelling them to make impossible choices between their health and their financial well-being. Lastly, this section highlights the unfair burden placed on those seeking treatment to become their own advocates, navigating complex insurance policies, appealing denials, and coordinating specialist care, adding to the already substantial stress of managing their condition.

People With Long-Term Illnesses Face Barriers to Affordable, Quality Care, Worsening Health Issues

Miller exposes the many ways the US healthcare system, designed for acute illness, fails people with chronic conditions. She argues that people who have chronic conditions are frequently left juggling multiple specialists, medications, and treatments, creating a financial burden further amplified by exorbitant drug prices, high deductibles, and narrow insurance networks. These financial constraints, she...

What Doesn't Kill You Summary How Persistent Health Issues Affect Relationships

This section focuses on how long-term health conditions impact relationships with friends, family, and significant others, highlighting the need for open communication, empathy, and adaptation. Miller explains how social withdrawal, perceived unreliability, and misunderstandings about chronic illness can put a strain on these connections. She encourages healthy individuals to educate themselves about their loved ones' illnesses, offer specific support, and resist the urge to give unsolicited advice.

Chronic Illness Strains Family, Friend, and Partner Relationships, Requiring Adaptation

Miller shares her personal experiences with the changing dynamics in her relationships, revealing how her illness challenged her capacity to support and be there for those closest to her. She highlights the complexities of these relationships, with loved ones feeling burdened, confused, or guilty, while those suffering might feel misunderstood, isolated, and even resentful toward those who aren’t ill.

Chronic Illness May Lead to Social Withdrawal and Perceived Unreliability, Causing Isolation

Miller candidly explores how her chronic condition led to periods of social isolation as she...

What Doesn't Kill You Summary Resilience and Joy While Managing a Long-Term Illness During the Pandemic

This section focuses on how Miller learned to find meaning and joy in her life, despite the physical and emotional challenges of chronic illness, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. She highlights the importance of embracing self-compassion, reframing your mindset, and finding strength in relationships. Miller demonstrates how practicing gratitude, focusing on small joys, and utilizing coping mechanisms can foster resilience and empower chronically ill individuals to lead fulfilling lives.

Chronic Illness: Discovering Unexpected Meaning, Growth, and Happiness

In this section, Miller reflects on her personal journey with ongoing health challenges, highlighting the unexpected ways it has led to growth, meaning, and even joy. She embraces vulnerability, sharing her struggles with anxiety and fear, and how therapy helped her understand the root of these emotions, allowing her to develop healthy coping mechanisms. The author encourages readers to redefine their expectations of what constitutes a "good" or "successful" life, releasing the desire to control things and embracing the present moment.

Learning to Release: Embracing Self-Compassion, Reframing Mindset, and...