Coombs emphasizes that addiction isn't a moral failing or a lack of willpower. It's a complex, chronic disease affecting both the brain and behavior. It’s characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. Understanding this as a disease is important in order to approach it with appropriate compassion and tools.
Coombs' personal journey illustrates how substance use progresses from recreation to dependence and ultimately, losing control. Initially, he used substances to alleviate social stress and enhance experiences. Then, as his brain chemistry adapted, he became physically and psychologically dependent, needing increasingly larger doses to achieve the desired effect. This dependence made him powerless, and everything he did centered around obtaining and using substances, despite the detrimental impact on his health, relationships, work, and finances. He found himself unable to quit using, even when facing serious consequences.
Practical Tips
- Set personal boundaries for substance use and share them with a trusted friend or accountability partner. Decide on limits for how often and how much you will use, and ask your friend to check in with you regularly. This could look like setting a rule for yourself that you only use recreationally on weekends and having your friend ask you about your adherence to this rule during weekly catch-ups.
- Create a "stress emergency kit" filled with items and activities that help you relax without resorting to substances. This could include a playlist of calming music, a stress ball, scented candles, a book of puzzles, or a list of friends to call. When you feel the urge to use substances to alleviate stress, open your kit and choose an alternative way to unwind.
- Engage in regular physical activity to naturally regulate brain chemistry. Start a routine that includes activities like brisk walking, swimming, or yoga, aiming for at least 30 minutes most days of the week. Exercise has been shown to release endorphins and other neurotransmitters that can improve mood and reduce the perceived need for substance use as a form of self-medication.
- Apply the concept of progressive overload to your personal development goals by setting slightly more ambitious targets each time you achieve a milestone. If your goal is to read more books, start with one book a month, then increase to two, and so on, until you find the right balance that keeps you engaged and improving without causing burnout.
- Establish a "Victory Jar" where you write down small, daily achievements on slips of paper and deposit them into the jar. This tangible collection of successes becomes a physical representation of regaining control and power over your life. Whenever you feel powerless, you can read through these notes to remind yourself of your progress and ability to make positive changes.
- Create a "Life Balance Pie" to visually assess the role substance use plays in your life. Draw a large circle and divide it into sections that represent different areas of your life such as health, relationships, work, and finances. Estimate how much of the pie is taken up by substance use. This visual tool can help you see if substance use is dominating more of your life than you realized and can be a starting point for change.
- Develop a personal mantra or slogan that encapsulates your reasons for quitting and repeat it during moments of temptation. This could be as simple as "I choose health over habit" or "Every moment clean is a victory." Having a go-to phrase can serve as a mental anchor, keeping your focus on the positive outcomes of your decision.
Coombs explains that when people become dependent on substances, it hijacks the brain's reward system, flooding it with [restricted term], a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure. With repeated use of substances, the brain adapts, becoming less sensitive to [restricted term]'s effects, requiring higher doses to achieve the same high. This fuels the cycle of craving and compulsion, leading to escalating drug or alcohol consumption. Psychologically, Coombs points out that certain personality traits like perfectionism, people-pleasing, and sensitivity, combined with an underlying feeling of inadequacy, can make individuals more vulnerable to addiction. Substances offer a temporary way to evade these internal struggles, forming a strong psychological attachment.
Practical Tips
- Engage in volunteer work to experience the "helper's high." Find a local organization or community group where you can volunteer your time. The act of helping others can release [restricted term] in the brain, providing a sense of satisfaction and joy. This could be as simple as helping out at a food bank, tutoring students, or participating in a community clean-up.
- Track your triggers and responses in a journal to identify patterns in your cravings. By writing down the circumstances and emotions that precede your cravings, you can begin to recognize the triggers that lead to compulsion. For example, if you notice that stress from work often leads to a craving, you can start developing alternative stress-relief techniques like exercise or meditation.
- Develop a "self-compassion routine" to counteract feelings of inadequacy. Incorporate daily affirmations, journaling, or meditation focused on self-acceptance and kindness towards oneself. For instance, you could start each day by writing down three things you appreciate about yourself, or end the day with a meditation that focuses on forgiving yourself for any perceived shortcomings.
- Start a reflection journal where you document moments of discomfort or the desire to escape, followed...
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Coombs emphasizes that dependency doesn't occur in isolation. Families are intrinsically part of the addiction system, and their behaviors can either make things worse or support recovery. It should be recognized that we aren't responsible for causing, controlling, or curing the addiction. There are no easy fixes. You aren't to blame for your loved one's decision to use or not to use, but there are ways to contribute toward their ultimate recovery, while maintaining your own sanity and peace.
Unwittingly, families can engage in enabling behaviors that perpetuate substance abuse. Coombs' parents, for example, initially focused on "solving" his issues through financial support, legal intervention, and emotional rescuing. While well-intentioned, these actions inadvertently prolonged his addiction by shielding him from the typical outcomes of his substance use.
Other Perspectives
- Blaming families for enabling can add to their emotional burden and guilt, which may be counterproductive to both the family's well-being and the recovery process of the...
Coombs' personal narrative details his progression from prescription medication abuse to harder substances and ultimately, criminal behavior. He found himself trapped in a cycle of increasing dependence, needing ever-larger doses to alleviate withdrawal effects and maintain his high. This pursuit of substances led to financial struggles, legal charges, and the destruction of his connections with others. He ended up participating in a large-scale [restricted term] operation, facing serious felonies.
Context
- As prescription drugs become too expensive or difficult to obtain, cheaper alternatives like heroin or [restricted term] may become more appealing.
- When dependent on a substance, stopping or reducing intake can lead to withdrawal symptoms, which can be both physically and psychologically distressing.
- Increasing doses heighten the risk of overdose, as the line between a high and a lethal dose becomes narrower.
- Many people in the throes of addiction resort to borrowing money, leading to mounting debts and potential...
This is the best summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People I've ever read. The way you explained the ideas and connected them to other books was amazing.
Coombs' mother emphasizes the importance of families addressing their own codependent behaviors and enabling tendencies. This begins with setting healthy boundaries, shielding your emotions, and letting the addicted individual face the results of their actions.
Context
- In some cases, boundaries may involve legal measures or safety plans, especially if the addicted individual poses a risk to themselves or others.
- Protecting your emotions can prevent burnout, which is common among those supporting someone with addiction, ensuring you can continue to provide help effectively.
- Facing and overcoming challenges can build resilience, equipping individuals with the skills to handle future difficulties more effectively.
Coombs strongly encourages families to undergo their own recovery process. He advocates for counseling, support groups, and honest self-reflection to identify and address unhealthy behaviors that have entered the addiction cycle. He discusses his parents'...
Coombs emphasizes the importance of integrated care, addressing the bodily, emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of addiction. He stresses the need for treatment plans that consider the individual's unique needs and circumstances.
Context
- Integrated care emphasizes the creation of personalized treatment plans that are tailored to the individual's specific situation, rather than a one-size-fits-all solution.
- Considering physical health issues, such as chronic pain or nutritional deficiencies, is important, as these can influence addiction and recovery processes.
Coombs advocates for collaboration between families and treatment providers, creating a team approach to facilitate recovery. He highlights the importance of open communication, building trust, and working together to create a plan that addresses the complexities of substance dependency.
Context
- Effective collaboration can lead to the development of a comprehensive aftercare plan, which is essential for...
Unhooked
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