Book SummaryUnfu*k Yourself, by Gary John Bishop

1-Page Summary1-Page Book Summary of Unfu*k Yourself

In his self-help book Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop aims to increase your understanding of how your mind works so you can use its power to your advantage. Bishop argues that the way you think dictates your reality. He offers seven specific phrases that you can use to reshape your thoughts to improve your outlook on life.

Bishop has distilled years of research and experience as a life coach and personal development consultant into this book, which was published in 2016. Here, he presents his findings as a set of simple tools for anyone who wants to make profound changes in their life. He sets out to make happiness accessible to you, whatever your circumstances, by showing you how to relate to your experience in a healthy way. After the success of Unfu*k Yourself, Bishop went on to write a companion workbook (Do The Work) as well as a sequel (Stop Doing that Sh*t), among other books.

(Shortform note: Bishop’s work is part of a trend in self-help publishing starting in the 2010s, with more books embracing an irreverent, informal, and humorous approach. Unfu*k Yourself is often mentioned alongside books like Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck...

Unfu*k Yourself Summary Take Control of Your Self-Talk

Before we get to the power statements, it’s important to understand what self-talk is and how it affects us.The term self-talk covers everything we think to ourselves internally—and Bishop argues that it has the power to support or sabotage our efforts to make progress. He explains that self-talk is powerful: The content of what we say to ourselves and the tone we use has a huge impact on our emotions, moods, and how we perceive the world around us. This, in turn, affects our choices and actions.

Bishop says studies show that people who have positive self-talk are not only happier and more confident but also more productive. The opposite is also true: If you speak harshly to yourself and generate a constant stream of negative messages, you may internalize them, become depressed, and see your performance suffer.

(Shortform note: One study Bishop mentions demonstrated that the language people used to describe an event impacted their mood and their feelings about the event. The article in which the study’s findings were published was later retracted amidst [accusations of data...

Unfu*k Yourself Summary Step 1: Stop Holding Yourself Back

According to Bishop, in order to pinpoint what’s prevented you from achieving your goals so far, you need to identify and transform any beliefs you have that might be holding you back. This is the first step to freedom. It involves a lot of deep reflection, and Bishop says you’ll need to make sure all parts of you, conscious and unconscious, are fully on board and ready to tackle the challenge. The first three statements we’ll look at will guide you through an honest self-assessment and motivate you to take action.

Change Is Your Responsibility

Power statement: “I am willing.”

Best used: To assert that you’re ready to change

Bishop tells us that willingness is an energized, empowered state from which you can take action. To reach this state, recognize that no matter what happens to you that you can’t control, you can always choose how to respond. Claiming that power includes accepting that your own choices have brought you to wherever you are today, and you can’t place the blame on other people or outside circumstances.

It can be hard to admit that part of what’s been holding you back is that you haven’t been willing to make changes. In some sense,...

Unfu*k Yourself Summary Step 2: Ensure Your Success

So far, we’ve examined three power statements Bishop offers for identifying and changing unconscious thought patterns that might be holding you back. Next, we’ll look at the remaining four statements, which describe the attitudes the author urges you to cultivate in yourself in order to achieve happiness and success. Each statement addresses a type of resistance you will encounter as you go after your goals. Basically, the solution is the same in each situation: do it anyway, and don’t give up.

(Shortform note: Many self-help approaches agree with Bishop’s suggestion that you must take active steps to cultivate a new mindset. Some go as far as detailing specific instructions on how to integrate retraining your brain into your daily routine. In The Happiness Advantage, for instance, Shawn Achor suggests writing about a positive experience for 20 minutes, three times a week. Alternatively, Hal Elrond’s The Miracle Morning instructs you to...

Shortform Exercise: Use Evidence to Change Your Own Mind

Let’s say you’re ready to free yourself from unconscious beliefs that are holding you back—how do you start? Follow Bishop’s suggestions to start retraining your brain.

First, think of an area of your life, big or small, where you’d like to make changes. What negative beliefs might be keeping you in your current situation? (For example, if you keep spending money on takeout even though you promised yourself you’d prepare more meals at home, you might uncover a belief that cooking is hard and you’ll never be good at it.)