Stress, as emphasized by Damour, is not inherently harmful. Lisa Damour argues that experiencing a certain level of stress is crucial for personal growth and progress. As we gradually push our limits, our capacity to manage new challenges grows, akin to muscles that develop with incremental increases in weight training. Facing novel obstacles, trying out different pursuits, and navigating difficult situations may induce stress but simultaneously foster our ability to persevere.
However, Damour cautions that stress can turn harmful when it exceeds what an adolescent can manage. The circumstances become detrimental when they begin to obstruct her overall health and wellness. This can manifest through physical symptoms like fatigue, stomachaches, or irregular sleep patterns, or through psychological and conduct-related signs, which include a quickness to irritation, a propensity to tears, avoidance of specific scenarios, or displaying oppositional actions. An individual's threshold for being inundated with stress is shaped by the nature of the challenges they encounter and the level of support available to the young woman. One young woman might see a hurdle as a slight obstacle, while for another, the same challenge could seem insurmountable, shaped by her unique characteristics, coping strategies, support system, and previous experiences.
Damour identifies three distinct categories of stress: major life events, daily annoyances, and ongoing pressures. Life transitions, such as starting at a new school, moving with family, grieving the death of a loved one, or looking forward to a vacation, require adaptations and naturally lead to increased tension. Major events often trigger a series of small, everyday disruptions. Everyday irritations like neglecting to remember a homework task, not catching the bus on time, or enduring an argument, as well as coping with a jammed zipper, are all elements of life's small challenges. The aggregate impact of these small irritations can substantially influence the overall level of stress experienced by a young...
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The author emphasizes the significance of daughters managing stressful situations independently. We often feel compelled to protect our children from distress, but steering clear of situations that trigger their anxieties may ultimately intensify those same fears. The author describes how shunning stressful situations can provide instant comfort but simultaneously strengthen the belief that such circumstances are indeed perilous or intolerable. By stepping in and removing their daughters from tough circumstances, parents may unintentionally impede their daughters' ability to develop independent coping mechanisms for these challenges.
Damour recommends nurturing bravery in your daughter by providing support while she incrementally confronts her fears. Help her address the root of her stress by breaking down the overwhelming challenge into smaller, more approachable pieces and offering support as she systematically tackles what's causing her worry. If your...
The author emphasizes the significance of social bonds for adolescent girls, noting that while these connections can be a source of joy and support, they can also lead to significant stress and anxiety. Often, girls face difficulties within their peer groups, such as envy and competitive interactions. The challenges are magnified by social media, which offers a persistent stage for self-comparison and often exacerbates disputes.
The author highlights how societal norms that prioritize agreeableness over direct communication of needs and dissatisfaction often make it difficult for girls to deal with conflicts. They find themselves in a challenging situation, attempting to maintain harmony among their friends while dealing with the distress or unease that arises from their peers. Damour recommends that parents mentor their daughters on how to handle conflicts by upholding their own needs while also considering the perspectives of others....
Under Pressure
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